Yea. If I'm alone I'll say things like "fuck you, I'll fucking kill you" if I'm remembering something particularly embarrassing or something shitty someone did to me.
Some memories jolt me out of bed. Sometimes I wake up in a punching rage, or a sweaty panic, thinking about bad memories.
I'm only 24, I shouldn't have this much regret.

>>16577781
Me too, and I'm also 24. I know what you mean by regret; sometimes out of nowhere I get these urging feelings of shame and resentment, not in a way of "I should have said this comeback" but more of a "Man I wish I could have punched that person". I wish there was a way to block this out, I don't think other people have this right?

im not sure. Either way we should figure out how to stop this shit

>>16577732
>>16577781
not op, but for me it's a daily struggle with these thoughts.

It's not so bad when I'm around other people because I have no time to think about those things. (although I'm alone almost allday everyday)

However, when I'm alone my "demons" come out.

I often say to myself "I want to fucking die" "I hate myself"

I even prayed to God to let me die.

IDK dude try not to dwell too much on the past and occupy yourself.

Just tell yourself it happened and learn to accept it. I've done this with a few of my "demons"

The one that keeps getting me right now is my ex. I broke up with her for some stupid shit and I fell back in love with her.

Luckily I don't think about killing myself everyday anymore.. It's only every other day :^ )

Today I had a few episodes of crying uncontrollably.

Although I'm starting to finally get over it.

TL:DR stay strong my boy and take it one day at a time. Try and help others

>>16577732
>Does this happen to anyone else?
Yes. Just ignore it.

>>16577814
Yeah, the best thing I've come up with is keeping myself occupied. That's just a band aide though, the regret and anger/shame always resurfaces

>>16577812
I wish.. nice to know at least it's not just me.

>>16577814
Yea I have that too. I try to keep myself busy, but it happens mostly at night because I take some time to fall asleep
I keep thinking for instance, of this one room mate who made my life hell 6 fucking years ago. And I still can't let it go

>>16577822
That's the thing, I can't just ignore it. The more I try to forget about it the more my head forces me to focus on it...

>>16577832
Basically we feel wronged and wish we would have taken action. This pain is our minds telling us to grow a nutsack and not make the same mistakes in the future. It serves a purpose. We need to stand up for ourselves more

I think this is universal. I forget who it was, some well-thought-of writer, but it's been pointed out once that embarrassment is the only emotion that can recur, at full strength, an indefinite length of time (sometimes years) after the event that caused it.

Dave Barry (an American humorist) also wrote a pretty good column about it once. Here's a snippet:
"Your brain cherishes embarrassing memories. It likes to take them out and cuddle them. This probably explains a lot of unexplained suicides. A successful man with a nice family and a good career will be out on his patio, cooking hamburgers, seemingly without a care in the world, when his brain, rummaging through its humiliating-incident collection, selects an old favorite, which it replays for the zillionth time, and the man is suddenly so overcome by feelings of shame that he stabs himself in the skull with his barbecue fork."
Full column here. http://www.radford.edu/~ibarland/Public/Humor/DaveBarry/embarrass

None of this is really helpful, I know, but I hope it's a little comforting to at least know that you're normal. You're really fucking normal.

Fuck, I do this all the time. When I'm busy I have no trouble with it, but when I lay down to go to sleep especially my brain just runs through every semi-spergy thing I did that day. Not that I really do anything particularly awful, but for whatever reason I'll ruminate over the tiniest faux pas to the point I want to cut my throat open.

What I've been doing lately that I find helps is going so over the top with the shame that it becomes funny. For example, if I stuttered my coffee order, instead if saying stuff like "fucking kill yourself" or whatever, I'll imagine i'm on trial for it, but everyone in the court is reacting like I'm a serial murderer. The judge is screaming at me that I'm a savage animal and I belong in a cage, my mom is crying in the stands, the jury are whispering about what a monster I am, etc. Anything like that to make it so over that top that I realize it's actually not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be.

>>16577732
i'm like that except i actually do fucking scream and hit myself even if i'm in public