I went on a second date with this really cool girl the other day. It was great, but I failed to make a move.
More context:
>good first date, lots of talking/laughing, nothing special though.
>second date, went to the Christmas Market (it's a European custom) and did some ice skating. She wasn't very confident on her skates so there was a lot of touching involved, it was really fun.
>Generally great chemistry
>Went to sit and talk some.
>Sperged out, didn't make a move.
We don't text a lot, generally, and with her being busy now, I don't know what to do. We don't really text each other, and she's really busy for the next couple of days. Trying to get another date seems evident, but I'm pretty much out of ideas at this point. She did say "See you next time" when she left, though.
I am so angry at myself for screwing that up, it's driving me mad.
>>16572083
Get over it learn for the next one
Calm down bro. If she said "see you next time" then it's clear she enjoyed spending time with you and wants to go on another date.
That means you did a good job and she is interested.
Go to a restaurant or something more romantic next time, be well dressed, compliment her but don't overdo it, don't be desperate to kiss her, at the right moment your eyes will meet and you will know it's the time to move in.
You're fine, you will have another chance, just don't sperg out again or she will be let down by your lack of assertiveness.
>>16572095
You think it's over then?
>>16572098
Thanks for the optimism, I need that.
>You're fine, you will have another chance, just don't sperg out again or she will be let down by your lack of assertiveness.
That's the thing though, I DO lack assertiveness. I spent the whole day thinking "I have to make a move on this second date if it goes well", and it did go well, but I somehow didn't. I'm scared, anon. On the other hand, now I know how angry I am at myself, I don't think I'd make that mistake again, but I can't be sure.
>>16572083
Don't worry. You can still make your move on third date. I've done it before.
Just make sure you get somewhere where you are sure you'll be able to. Your place preferably. I usually go for movie then last drink at my place, so you can get some touching going during the movie. I'll be doing that tonight on a second date. Plus Star Wars is up, no one says no to Star Wars.
>>16572121
My place isn't ideal. I share a house with my sister and some friends, I don't think I can throw them all out for a date.
Any suggestions for a date where there can be some touching? I feel like meeting in a bar or something would be a huge step backwards. I'm a decent cook though, maybe I should make her dinner, but then there's the problem of my place, again.
>>16572083
you did great OP.
She enjoyed and wants to see you again nothings lost. 3rd date is more than apropriate to just chill at home(yours or hers), curl up on the couch or bed together and watch a movie.
Just spoon her during the movie and it'll be ok.
>I am so angry at myself for screwing that up, it's driving me mad.
stop that, you're making progress with her, learning about dating in general, getting comfortable with girls and hopefully having fun in the process. there's no screwing up, there's just missing opportunities but you can create plenty of those!
you're seeing it way too much as a puzzle and not enough as being with a person. Even if it doesn't grow out to something, if you've gotten to the point of being your true uninhibited self with her and still get rejected you're not compatible and nothing valuable is lost.
>>16572125
I suggested a movie. Other than that, you're quickly going to be stuck of you can't meet in private, either at your place or at hers.
>>16572095
Look man I'm this guy and what I'm telling you is that your on the losing end.
You are stressing over dumb shit.
If she likes you she'll find a way to like you even if you mess up she'll look past it.
The problem isn't her it's you.
She's already high on the pedestal your already to invested and honestly she probably hasn't earned it.
>>16572125
don't worry about your place. your peeps will probably understand and not bother you even if they're home, If anything them being nice to you is a form of social confirmation that shows you're a decent folk. though it might make it a bit more nervous for her (and that makes her eager to be alone with you in your room!!!!).
so cooking and watching a movie in your room (just on laptop on bed is fine, spooning during a movie is awesome!)
or go to her place and do the same, beware that puts her in a more comfortable and you in a more nervous spot.
cinema is fine for elaborate touching but kissing is awkward and happens only afterwards.
also a goodbye hug is your definite opportunity to go for the kiss. if she doesn't go with that even on 3rd date then you may best forget about her and let her initiate further things.
>>16572242
I realize that and it's been bugging me too. IF we should start a genuine relationship, it'd be less of a problem, but I don't want a curious crowd for the moment.
>>16572202
Thank you, anon. I do try, but it all felt so good and appropriate and I really did screw up imo. Now she's busy for a few days, we don't text a lot, and I'm at a loss on how to proceed from here. I feel like the moment was there and I missed it, and while there may be more moments, it is still frustrating.
But thank you for the pep talk, I needed that.
>>16572251
>She's already high on the pedestal your already to invested and honestly she probably hasn't earned it.
I don't do that pedestal shit. You are right that the problem is me, and that I'm stressing over dumb shit, but that has nothing to do with how I see or treat her.
>>16572253
Okay, definitely helping. I'd have to give the whole place a sweep to make it look clean, but that's the least of my problems.
just call her you fucking autist
>>16572318
Can't, she's busy with work and Christmas shit. Don't really want to pressure her now.
