Could being too touchy with my now wife push her away?
We got married last month and sex has been diminishing. When we first started dating sex was great. This has been going on for like 3 months now.
I think I'm too affectionate. I am always hugging her and telling her how pretty she is. Massaging her feet ect.... could this be it?
She's always saying she's tired or not in the mood. It's starting to make me self-conscious
Check The Rational Male. It's great blog which brings some light to that kind of topics. Just search something like "sex, wife, marriage", you know.
>>16569633
The greatest contraceptive ever invented by man was wedding cake.
What is the point of marriage if you can't have sex whenever you want?
You fell for the trap anon. That's why you get a submissive Asian wife.
>>16569633
>She's always saying she's tired or not in the mood.
Has anything changed, other than you two getting married? Stressful job, family issues, kids wearing you down? Things like that. If you really can't think of anything, she may just not be all that into you. A lot of women are all about getting married, and the wedding itself, instead of being really into their partner. And once it's done and over with, they're left with an empty void that the wedding was supposed to fill. They become unhappy and withdrawn.
I'm not saying this happens to every couple, or that it's happening with your wife, but it isn't uncommon for women to go nuts over their wedding and become let down with everything that happens after.
>>16569753
Nothing. We don't have kids, we are in our 20's we don't have jobs atm.
>>16569764
>we don't have jobs atm.
How are you paying for anything? Where are you staying? If you have nothing and you're living off family, that could certainly put a damper on things.
>>16569780
We live with my mother. She starts working in jan
>>16569807
>We live with my mother.
Yeah, then I can understand why she wouldn't want to have sex with you. She's not happy living with you AND your mother, and sex in the same house will feel strange to her. She won't be happy, or sexual, until things get better and she has privacy. She's just now realizing that she's stuck with you, in your mom's house, and nothing's really going to get better for a long time.
>She starts working in jan
What about you? No work or school?
Married woman here, sex is great when you're first dating, always. But it tends to drop down after you've been together for a while. Me and my hubby used to fuck like bunnies, but around year 2 together that started to drop off. We're in year six now and have sex about once a week, sometimes less.
If this didn't start happening before you got married, you definitely got married too early. This is also likely considering neither of you have jobs. Wtf are you doing?
>>16569819
I go to school I can't get a job until like March for legal issues.
>>16569835
Well, then you'll have to give it until March, at the very least. Until then, talk to her about your plans for the future and reassure her that you two will be on your own and things will be better.
>>16569835
>legal issues.
Sounds like she married a winner.
>>16569835
What kind of legal issues?
>>16569840
Immigration shit.
>>16569633
She's fucking Chad on the side. Sorry bro. Those are code words women use when they're actually getting better dick from someone else.
>>16569852
I don't think you're telling the whole story here. How long have you and your wife been dating, and how long have you actually been sleeping together in the same bed?
>>16569852
One of you married each other for a green card.
>>16569870
>I don't think you're telling the whole story here. How long have you and your wife been dating, and how long have you actually been sleeping together in the same bed?
Where did OP go?
>>16569933
Not to go fuck his wife :^)
ya fell for it
>>16569940
>>16569882
Nah this isn't the case. I don't want to give out more details about my personal life
But I know for sure she's not cheating on me and other than the sex my relationship with her is pretty good.
>>16569882
Nah this isn't the case. I don't want to give out more details about my personal life
But I know for sure she's not cheating on me and other than the sex my relationship with her is pretty good.
>>16569753
A lot of women do not actually like sex that much
>>16569764
Maybe the whole married with no jobs is killing her vibe
>>16569820
It does not have to be like that.
I have had some real ups and downs and it is always me. My bf/husband has always been very sexual. He helped deliver our baby and had a huge boner and wanted a bj once they took us to our private room and I was like.... WHAT?!!
But as a woman I have had real ups and downs. It is usually psychological but getting my period also makes me feel very not sexual sometimes.
The less pressure my man put on me the easier it was for me to get back into a hornier mindset.
>>16570528
OP here. Thanks for that.
I read somewhere that being too affectionate with the wife could make her feel like she doesn't have to try anymore. I think that is the problem. I tell her she looks good all the time. I kiss her all the time I give her foot rubs all the time and I legit make her feel like a goddess. I think I should stop doing this. Thoughts?
>>16569633
nope its just general boredom. how long did you date before you got married?
I have an odd little bit of advice to add....
Have you tried NOT masturbating? In every single blogger story about not masturbating, the guys have reported woman coming onto them like crazy. There is some science to this as well. It costs a tremendous amount of energy to ejaculate and with that goes a lot of testosterone, (specifics are not necessary for this discussion, I'll just keep it elementary) when you don't ejaculate, your body builds up testosterone and you give off "I'm ready to have sex" pheromones. Woman pick up on these pheromones subconsciously and simply have to have you. I have experienced this personally as I often go 7+ days without masturbation. I'm sure if you try this you will experience similar results.
>>16570543
No i do NOT think thats the problem.
My guy always thought that too when I was in a rut, but that was NEVER the issue.
Honestly, she is probably depressed living at moms house and stressed about the future
>>16570576
If I don't fap I get more clingy and frustrated for sex
>>16570590
We are young. I'm working on moving out of my mom's house. But I'm a freshman in college and shit. Trust me I do not want anything more than move out.
We are in our 20's we dated for like a year before we got married. We lived together for 10.
Don't give me shit about that. I need advice
Unfortunately this is fairly normal. The pressures of mortgage, rent, work and being a homemaker take the shine of being married very quickly. There is a huge build up to this amazing event... and... then... nothing much changes.... so she's lost the thrill.
It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Women loving without sex is exactly the same (but opposite) to men having sex without loving.
She will get her libido back when something new gets her interest or she wants kids. In both situations as soon the excitement wears off it'll be back to sex once or twice a month.
>>16570592
Then learn some self control. You probably ARE being too clingy if you don't have the ability to allow her to come to you for sex. Give her a LITTLE more space (don't overdo it) and learn some damn self control.
>>16570609
A freshman in college maybe should not be getting married though
>>16570622
>be back to sex once or twice a month.
What the.........
Uhhh after 5 years we still have sex daily and sometimes multiple times a day
>>16570576
yeah thats bullshit, sounds like you just have poor libido
you gotta spice things up, change up your routine, use your imagination, be more dominant
variety is important
>>16570830
When I try to be more dominant I feel like I am pressuring her and it's not fun at all
>>16570855
>>16570855
> I am always hugging her and telling her how pretty she is. Massaging her feet ect.... could this be it?
Give her foot massages if she does something good for you, like cooks you something good, or helps you out with some errand.
Tell her she's pretty after she gets a new hair style or something. Your compliments become less valuable if you just give them away for free all the time.
>She's always saying she's tired or not in the mood.
become more assertive and talk about this shit with her. "not in the mood" isn't a good enough reason, she's basically taking advantage of you.
>>16570926
I have talked about it with her and she always says it's school or something. However she does nothing to try and fix that problem
https://youtu.be/EUN0gceRiIU
What do you guys think of this suggestion? It sounds good in theory
>We got married last month and sex has been diminishing.
HAHAHA, sounds like a 2015 marriage alright.
divorce immediatelly, OP. See if you can get an annullment.
She sees you as a beta provider. You, specifically, can't fix it. No "talking about it", no "counseling", just divorce her immediately.
>wife
Enjoy less and less sex over the time of your marriage.
You should try to explain to her that the lack of sex is bothering you and maybe try talking to a marriage counselor/ therapist with her.
You have to understand though. Women are generally extremely selfish and she probably won't give a shit. If she was your gf/ had something to lose from you leaving you could just tell her you'd leave.
I've never been married but I assume it would work as she thinks you have more invested in this marriage than her.
Can't lie you may end up thinking about cheating but don't do it. I've been a cheating scumbag for a bit but stopped recently. Don't don't do that man, it weighs on you heavily emotionally. Just leave if you start thinking that or try to work to not doing it.
>>16570654
Haha I know right?? 9 and a half years as a couple and still have sex often.
>>16570576
Citation needed
>>16570609
>We are young.
>I'm a freshman in college and shit
>dated for like a year before we got married.
I think that's your problem right there.
