Last night my boss forced himself onto me. I am not sure what legal actions, if any, I should take. He knew I did not want to, and I was a virgin, but afterwards he took me into the shower and he is leaving to work abroad for an indeterminate amount of time, at least 2 years, tomorrow.
I haven't gotten a rape kit done because I don't know what the point is, and I don't know if I want to force him into staying in America or what. Before this happened I was worried so I asked one of my professors that I trusted about what to do about workplace safety, he said that he would be willing to act as my advisor is "something bad" happens. But the semester is over and I don't even know if he's around, and I'm not sure if this is something I should contact him for. Please advise.
Go get a rape kit done and file charges against him before he leaves the country.
I can't really judge you if you decide not to tell anyone, I've never been in your shoes and I know it's going to be difficult as hell to prove anything. But, if he never faces any consequences, he will keep doing this to other women.
I would say you should do everything you can to get justice for this. But it's a tough one
>>16569042
>Go get a rape kit done
>afterwards he took me into the shower
Rape is pretty much impossible to prove. "Rape kits" are a joke, at best, they can prove that you had sex (and in OP's case, probably not even that). They can't prove whether or not it was consensual. That's why this shit is so difficult, that's why there's always so much drama around high-profile rape cases. Unless it's on video, it ALWAYS comes down to he said/she said.
>>16569042
I don't know how fast cops will act, and he was so set on working overseas, I don't know what will happen for him if his plans fall through. Plus in retrospect I think if this goes to court he could easily win, he's a well respected prof and I thought we were just friends but I enjoyed talking with him, and I agreed to go to get dinner with him as a goodbye thing anyway.
>>16569044
Thank you anon. I checked for him in sex offender registry and he didn't show up anywhere.
>>16569047
Yes. The only thing I have is that I was a virgin before and he did some damage there, but I don't know if that is a mark of rape solely.
>>16569057
Well, he obviously kind of planned this out so that it'd happen RIGHT before he left the country. He sounds like a real scumbag. Really, you should go to the cops. Even if it's difficult to prove, the damage to his reputation might encourage other girls to be more cautious around him in the future.
>>16569071
This.
OP, how come you didn't run away or fight him? It's literally that easy, if you notice he makes moves and don't want to have sex, you leave the appartement...
>>16569071
Ok, I may get a rape kit done after all. I don't know how much help this will be to future victims since jurisdiction probably doesn't extend outside of the USA but we will see.
>>16569111
He is stronger than me. He tried to kiss me and I said no, then he restrained me and tried to make it so I would enjoy it too, but that wasn't happening. Then he raped me. I told him no, stop, and that it was wrong but he did not listen to my words.
>>16569111
This, honestly.
Did he physically hold you down, OP? Did he prevent you from escaping while you struggled to get free?
>>16569124
But you could have ran away, come on, it's not like you were mugged and raped in a dark alley. Girls always say that shit, but it's not true, usually if you fight and try to get away they lose the bravado or get distracted. Saying no or stop doesn't do shit and everybody knows that.
>>16569124
Ugh, yeah, you're right. I didn't read your first post carefully, and I thought it was definitely a temporary trip abroad. As it is, even if you file charges, he can just pull a Roman Polanski and never return to the US.
If he hasn't left yet, if you can call the police and get him arrested, do it. If he's already gone, it's probably too late. What a shitty situation. For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry you're going through this
It really sucks when terrible people are also intelligent
>>16569136
>hit him
>he hits back
What now, backseat driver?
>>16569127
At various points he either held my wrists, neck from the front, or leaned his torso on top of me so I was stuck under him. He is bigger than me by maybe a foot and 50-70lbs
Should I contact the professor who said he would be my advisor, if I just want some advice on what to do next? Or do you think he meant only if I actually did legal action?
>>16569144
Contact your professor friend as soon as possible. Tell him everything that has happened.
If you're going to act on this, you need to act immediately. Your options are that you either catch him in a bind before he escapes and throw everything you can at this, or you stay quiet and let him go. Trying to start this up while he's abroad...I just don't see that working.
>>16569144
You really don't need to explain yourself to people like that
Every time there's a mass shooting or something, this guy probably goes "If I had been there, I would've taken that guy out."
>>16569140
>he hits back
then you get up and run for the door, screaming for help (if you are in a block of flats)
Anyway OP should have figured out how things out when he tried to kiss her and for example, kiss back, say she has to use a toilet and will be right back, and then literally leave the house.
>>16569144
I don't think your other professor will give a shit, you didn't even report the rape. There's nothing he can do to help you
>I haven't gotten a rape kit done because I don't know what the point is
The point of a rape kit is to have evidence that you were raped. Without one, you have an accusation with no proof.
Next time, and there will be a next time since you made no effort to resist having sex with this guy thus painting you an easy target for this predator, fight back.
>>16569168
Listen to this fucking keyboard cowboy. He's a tough guy. He knows what you should do.
/sarc
You're a fucking retarded piece of shit. Have you EVER been in a dangerous not involving choking on popcorn?
>>16569168
Oi fuck off you bitter neckbeard.
>>16569180
My ex was almost raped by a guy who was her friend. She didn't act like a dead fish like OP here, she screamed and trashed so badly the guy had problem with getting a proper hold of her and then pushed him away with all her strength and ran for the door. She made it with a broken rib and several bruises because he managed to grab her few times. And she's a petite girl, maybe 100lbs. So yeah, I know rapes happen but if only OP weren't so docile and stupid (not doing the kit asap, not notifying police) this one most likely wouldn't happen or at least the guy would get canned.
>>16569140
You would rather get raped than take a few punches? Doesn't sound like rape. More like he convinced you and you now regret it. :/
>>16569168
What the fuck do you think you're accomplishing? It already happened. Obviously, the person at fault is the guy who chose to restrain a girl and fuck her against her will when she clearly said "no" multiple times. What the fuck is the point of taunting OP because she didn't handle it quite as "badass" as you think you would've?
>>16569223
Cause it sounds fake as fuck.
>>16569208
I'd like to get a 7 ft nigger with a gun sneaking up on you retarded piece of shit. You'd be peeing you pants you pussy.
When people get terrified they do stupid shit. Some freeze, some cry, some run, some fight. That's why people take regular classes for self defence. You have to practice. If you don't practice you don't know what to do and you freeze.
Now, if you excuse me, I'd like to cook you in your own fat.
>>16569168
>>16569208
>>16569210
OP here. I'm not listening to you because, while some things I could have done better, the rape itself is NOT my fault and I know that. Stop posting.
I'm following >>16569155's advice and emailing my professor advisor. He knows I was worried about my safety before this happened. He has my best interest in mind. Thank you, nice anons in this thread for your kind words.
>>16569223
The point is to snap her out of her fucked up submissive state and make her realise that it's good to fight sometimes. See, even now, instead of fighting for her rights and doing everything to make the guy pay for what he has done, she comes on adv and wonders if she should go to another prof and whinge to him about the shit that has happened, instead of
>doing the rape kit
>notifying authorities
She acts like a doormat and so people treat her like that
>>16569237
There is a big difference between
>This is what you should do right now
and
>This is what you SHOULD'VE done in the past, you dumb lying bitch
>>16569234
Of course rape isn't your fault, of course...
...but maybe if you didn't go to this meeting when you were worried about your safety, you wouldn't get raped
>>16569237
Then why don't come with productive feedback and helping her help her self. Now you just being a retarded neckbeard.
>>16569249
She had no reason to worry about her safety before the meeting. She said the guy was kind and professional right up until the whole rape thing
>>16569140
Not him but that gives proof of rape and helps her case?
>>16569256
She said her professor knew that she was worried >>16569234
I asume she wasn't texting the prof during the meeting but before that stuff took place.
>>16569032
Can I be your boss, OP? I could use a quickie
>>16569259
1. no it doesn't. A black eye does not "prove rape" it proves that someone or something hit her in the face
2. The point of the advice was not to "help her case," the other anon was arguing that she easily could've hit him to "escape the rape" even though the guy was stronger, apparently he would've just backed off if a weaker woman started hitting him
3. your suggestion is that rape victims should intentionally try to make the rape worse and more violent, so that there will be more evidence later? do you even fucking think before you join a conversation?
>>16569272
Thank you. I was frightened that he would do lasting damage, especially when he clamped his hand down on my neck. I wasn't thinking about evidence for later, I just wanted to be hurt as little as possible and for it to be over as quickly as it would be. Once it was clear that h e didn't care what I thought about it, I mean.
>>16569314
That's human nature. These guys have been talking shit because they have NEVER been in a situation like that. You don't think, you just try to get through it with as little damage as possible
How many fucking 4chan users a day are getting raped, dumped, robbed, abandoned?
Like, fucking seriously. No way this shit happens to dozens of you a day.
>>16569314
lmao
>>16569323
Let's be honest here: it's only rape now because she regrets fucking her boss.
>>16569329
I'll get my 7ft nigger to cram it up your ass. Obviously you just regretted afterwards
>>16569346
Oooh don't tempt me baby...
Sorry, just curious OP if you could fill me in...
How did you end up alone with your boss in an apartment with a shower and everything? Why did you accept any invitation to go somewhere with them that was so private and far away from the work place?
Will he still be your boss even though he will be overseas? I'm curious why he would risk something like raping one of his current employees. Will you two be interacting anymore? If not, then why did you refer to him as your boss, when you mean ex-employer, aka, just another guy?
>I don't know if I want to force him to stay in America or what
Lol, the dudes flight is tomorrow, he's going obviously...
How did this man even know you're a virgin? Are you telling him private, sexual things about yourself, without wanting sex from him? Maybe this led him on?
This clearly couldn't have been too important of a job; this isn't a career or anything. You are still taking college courses! So, why did you feel the need to be alone with your boss in a private manner?
If I am ever raped by someone close to me, or even a stranger, I'd be really afraid to fucking tell anyone based on these replies here. Afraid no one would believe me. Afraid I'd somehow be painted as the bad guy for 'letting it happen'. I don't think anyone wants to be raped.
Can someone provide a checklist of stuff to do immediately after rape? You know, just so I'm informed. I see some people mentioning don't shower.
>>16569383
Post pics ill tell you if you are even cute / rapeable, chances are you aren't
>>16569383
Let me tell you a little story: someone in my family accused a boyfriend of my cousin that he raped this someone. My cousin instantly broke up with him, he was ousted from our family, a couple family members threatened to kill him, he got harassed by the cops, almost arrested a couple times, and everyone at his work knew what was happening. All of this and this someone had absolutely no proof whatsoever. Zero.
So fuck you and fuck rape law.
>>16569383
Are you literally retarded?
>checklist of stuff to do immediately after rape?
>don't take shower
>go to police
>report rape
>do rape kit
It's common knowledge, you must be beyond stupid not to know that. Christ
>>16569382
I am in uni and work with him in a lab. We were going to write a paper together while he was overseas but I'd also work in other labs. He invited me to get dinner and show me a movie at his place, he talked about the movie a lot and said he wanted to see my reaction to it, so that was how I was in his apartment.
He knew I was a virgin because when I begged him to stop it was an argument I used to get him off me, it did not work. He is old enough to be my father and I thought he just wanted me as a friend. He used to call me sweetie but for the past week or so he'd been really hot and cold and stopped calling me sweetie, so I thought he wasn't interested in me romantically at all because he realized I'm much more immature than he is.
>>16569398
So everyone in your family believes them except you? Why don't you believe them?
>>16569411
Zero evidence. Convenient timing with other family drama. This someone had a penchant for starting drama.
>>16569408
Er ok, idk.
Sorry for your situation of course...if this isn't bait.
But wtf are you fucking doing going to your old wrinkly ass teachers apartment, and going to dinner and a movie with him?
Seriously, are you so dumb? Not saying "oh you deserve it, you had it coming", but you have to think with your fucking brain sometimes. You think this teacher wines and dines all of his students? NO, just the ones he wants to FUCK obviously... retard alert, sorry.
>used to call me sweetie
>dinner and a movie
Fuck off, this is bait or I change my mind and you do deserve it.
Bitch.
>>16569408
AHA I THOUGHT SO! It all adds up, anons
This is the same girl who was posting about the professor being overly friendly and flirty, she posted like five or six threads about it, maybe someone besides me remembers. Anyway, if it's not attention whoring, then the whole thing is literally OP's fault, as in her previous threads people told her many times that the guys is acting weird and she should stay away from him. But instead of doing that she went to his apartment alone to watch a movie. Good move, OP!
>>16569422
Lol if that's the case.
>>16569398
Here's the thing though:
You can't PROVE rape. Ever, really, unless there's literally video evidence or MULTIPLE eye witnesses.
You can prove sex happened. That's the best a rape kit can do. You can prove it got a bit rough, if there are bruises and stuff, but that could also be consensual. There is no physical evidence of consent.
In most rape cases, it's the accuser alone with the accused, and the question of whether or not a crime took place, is a question of whether or not she said "yes."
How the fuck do you prove that?
This is not me saying it's cool for people to be arrested or have their lives destroyed without evidence. I know it happens to innocent people sometimes, there are definitely "victims" who lie and abuse the system.
But there are also legitimate victims, and legitimate rapists out there who will continue doing it to other women if they're free. And in these cases, there's exactly the same amount of evidence as there is in the false accusations.
I don't have a solution. Nobody does. It's a fucked-up situation. And that's why I don't come in threads like this spouting off stupid shit, calling people names, and acting like I know better when I don't know jack shit.
>>16569419
Oops, *boss, *employee, etc., same difference
>>16569419
Are you for real? You think any time you're alone with a girl and she doesn't run out of the room, it's an invitation for sex? You've never had a female friend, or even just a friendly co-worker?
I always thought it was a meme, but you guys really are shut-ins, aren't you? It's all starting to make sense to me. You literally do not have any friendships, you don't actually know anyone closely, so when you give advice on human behavior, it comes from another planet.
>>16569440
>lol we don't have an answer but we can still ruin men's lives with a simple accusation
Yet it seems plenty of men get convicted of rape yet if it's as you say it's impossible to prove! Wow! Something doesn't add up, faggot.
>>16569455
Lol, listen you silly bitch, having a female friend your age from your social group is entirely different than having your old, wrinkly, creepy ass pedo fucking lab advisor/college professor hitting on you and asking you to come to his apartment alone for a movie on his couch.
I swear I'm being baited HARD right now...
>>16569461
I don't have an agenda, I'm just stating how it is. That creates all kinds of drama and bad feelings and anger on both sides, just like you're seeing in this thread. It's an unprovable crime. There will always be reasonable doubt.
My point is that, because of this, it's best to try to keep a cool head and judge each situation individually, rather than getting angry and jumping to conclusions and adding even more bullshit to a situation that is already very stressful and confusing for everyone involved.
>>16569136
you're fucking stupid
>>16569032
rape kits are more about collecting evidence than "helping" you...
So if you pressed charges against him and took him to court it would be more than "he said she said" if you've already showered and been this long a rape kit is most likely useless... unless you still showed signs of trauma, which might be the case because you were a virgin...
>>16569156
fucking this
>>16569032
Nice b8 m8 I r8 8/8.
>>16569512
No, not really, op is a fucking autist if she actually got "raped" in her own home. Please die.
>>16569566
She wasn't raped in her own house. She was at her boss's house.
>>16569515
>he said, she said
OP was a virgin raped by her boss right before he flew overseas, and said that she was worried about her safety before to a witness who will most likely testify on her behalf. Her boss is much older than her. It sounds like a clear-cut case in OP's favor, especially if there's any bruising around her neck.
>>16569032
I am sorry to hear about your situation. But I cannot urge you strongly enough to get a rape kit done, and nail this son of a bitch to the wall as hard as you can.
Unfortunately, this is going to be very difficult, because this man is no ordinary rapist. He's savvier than most: for example, he knew to destroy evidence by getting you into the shower. It also sounds like he used brute force, which is a surprisingly uncommon thing, but taken together with his wits, it makes him an especially dangerous sort of monster: thw kind who has probably done this before, and will again until he is caught. I don't envy your position, but the person who puts this man away will be a hero. This could be you.
At the absolute least, you can derail the fuck out of his overseas plans. Possibly permanently, once word of the charges spreads. It's less than what he deserves -though thanks to Furman v. Georgia he won't get what he deserves even if you win- but it's something.
I cannot make you do anything, OP. But please, I urge you: put this dog down.
OP here. I got the rape kit done and my professor said basically what >>16569827 did, so thank you for everything. I'm meeting professor tomorrow to discuss things better.
>>16569111
Kill yourself
>>16570854
literally pathetic
>>16571174
why so mad, you were 'raped' too?
>>16569032
How do you know it's rape and not slut's guilt?
I mean, it's okay to enjoy meaningless sex for a woman as long as you assume it.
This is actually pretty hot. op is small, op's boss is a bigger guy or normal sized, I'm gonna say attractive silver fox type. He overpowers her, pins her wrists over her head, eats her out, forces her to cum, and fucks her for the first time ever. Poor thing loved it but feels too naughty to admit it, so she cries rape to her other professor... how into detail did you go when describing it to him, op? any chance of pics?
>>16571199
>slut's guilt
How can you even ask this question? Is there any indication at all that OP wanted it and regretted it afterwards? If a guy has to hold a girl down to have sex with her, she did not enjoy it.
>>16569111
Wow, you're so right! It's her fault for being raped! You're so smart and totally not psychopathic at all!
>>16569032
bottom line: if you want anything to ever happen with this, you need to act now and fast, because the more time that elapses, the less evidence there will be. Get DNA work done. It's your only shot at getting at the guy. You owe it to society to go after him.
>>16571386
She knew exactly what was going to happen, in her previous threads she claimed openly that the guy was seducing her and being unprofessional, calling her pet names and touching. She felt something was off and yet decided to meet him alone. Yeah, he's 100% guilty for raping her but she's guilty of knowingly giving a predator the opportunity to rape.
I really have no compassion for victims like OP, none at all, because this situation could be easily avoided if she weren't a total moron. Tumblr and people like you enable girls to make stupid choices like that because of you propaganda 'no guy has a right to rape you no matter the circumstances!!1' that's true, but guess what, if you meet alone with shady creeps, you get raped. So to prevent the rape a girl has think and stay safe, not act like a moron with martyr complex like Op.
But it's all b8 anyway
Sounds like a bait thread, and OP somewhat reciprocated his advances by putting herself in vulnerable positions around him and is now claiming plausible deniability.
>but afterwards he took me into the shower
That's nice, where was this shower and why did you go with him? Why didn't you avoid him, run away, scream, yell, fight, scratch him, tell coworkers, tell HR and CERTAINLY get him fired?
Total bullshit. "Modern" rape for you.
I thought it was a meme, but are you all literally autistic? It's not op's fault for being raped. She sounds really fucking stupid, if >>16569422
is actually true, but what her boss did is still wrong.
>>16572680
That's not rape at all.
She consented, willingly went to his place "watch movies" and now regretted it.
Typical third-wave feminism "regret-rape".
>>16572680
it's not op's fault for getting raped but like anons say its her fault for giving him the opportunity. c'mon she had all the signs guy is weird at leasr
>Last night my boss forced himself onto me.
sage for unsubstantiated accusation
>>16569234
I'm
>>16569155
After reading this thread, I want to back my advice I gave you.
You seem like a dense, dramatic idiot and I no longer truly believe your version of events.
I'm really sorry that this happened to you OP. You should report the incident for sure, but I have no idea how to go about doing that sort of thing.
Maybe consider a Plan B pill to make sure that he didn't knock you up?
Fuck, man. I don't know what to do in a situation like this.
>>16572689
I don't even know why I'm replying, but if a girl clearly says "no don't do that" and tries to escape you, and you physically hold her in place and do it anyway, that is literally the textbook definition of rape. Not even remotely in a grey area. Not at all the same as a drunken hookup that you regret the next day.
The question of whether or not she predicted or avoided it is secondary, and basically pointless since it already happened. She chose to watch a movie with a co-worker. He chose to restrain her and fuck her against her will. Come on dude.
OP fled the thread as soon someone called out her bullshit. It always ends like this.
You should charge him for rape, or you will regret that you didn't. Besides, since he's your boss he can get really bad consequences because of his doings. And yes, he deserves it. Rape is wrong and should be punished.
