Planning on killing myself soon.
Have a decent amount of "love" and respect for my family.
Question- Is it better for them to think I'm missing or do I leave/send a note?
Oh, a note is far better than searching for you for years.
Wait. Do a bunch of drugs first. Take 30-40 hits of LSD
>>16567623
Op.
What's wrong my friend?
What's putting you down?
>>16567634
No, no, magic mushrooms, for sure.
>>16567634
I remember driving from San Antonio to Houston on three tabs ,got pulled over and freaked out thinking it was the tabs,crazy fun drug tho
>>16567636
Nothing's putting me down, just ready for whatever's next, if there is anything anyway.
Bucket list is empty.
No responsibilities (no children, etc)
Last few years, I've only been alive for my family's sake, so that they wouldn't feel sad or whatever. Turns out I have less willpower than I thought and just can't keep doing that until natural causes takes me.
>>16567648
You can if you do alot of drugs
>>16567631
Is it better to leave it blunt (e.g "If you're receiving this, it means that I'm already dead. For what it's worth, I loved all of you and I'm sorry.") or try to explain myself.
>>16567648
Why not find something you're special in?
Any hobbies,anyone you like?
What about your education,school?
>>16567658
I never really was interested in anything (as I said, I was living mostly for their sake), not for lack of trying though.
I have a bachelor's degree in a field that interested me more than any other one (engineering mechanics and mechatronics).
>>16567667
So why not keep learning or even get a family now?
You know how many would kill for a man with a degree like that?
Find beauty in this life -- I promise you it's out there
>>16567657
Yeah, that's good.
If this is who I think it is. Stay. I still love you. -H
>>16567672
Thank you for helping anon
>>16567667
And I agree with what he said, why not use the money from the degree and make the most out of it?I'm sure you can be able to visit places even meet a lady to your likings and grow into something,we all have our downfall here but we're also here to help.
Op I hope you get better and Dont kill yourself. People love you
>>16567672
I don't want a family or relationships, and I have no desire to continue my education, because it won't solve anything. My life isn't lacking in anything necessary for living. The "problem" is that it never has, I'm not doing this because I have some form of issues, I'm honestly just ready.
>>16567690
Make a challenge?
Set your car on fire, go bankrupt.
End up lost in another state find your way home,give a reason to keep going
I think the only reason you wouldn't leave a note is if you were ashamed to off yourself. If you're concerned about how you will be viewed after you're gone then "going missing" is a better option. Though it would be more stressful for your family. They'll put time into trying to find you, sleepless nights etc. ... Better off leaving a note.
>>16567696
...sabotage my life, to renew my interest in it? No offense, and I appreciate the attempt, but I don't see any logical sense behind that.
>>16567690
Right...
So I'm just telling you as a professional that this sounds like depression. You are hardwired to be ambitious in life, when that's not happening, it usually indicates an underlying issue.
Maybe you don't want those things because you've never given them a genuine chance? Again human beings are hardwired for social interaction...
Anyways I would advise you not to do it. It's something you can never undo and those who have tried (and failed) instantly regret going down that path.
Good luck brother
>>16567705
That's sort of my dilemna. I'm ashamed because I'm worried they'll blame themselves/I'm not confident in the mental fortitude of some of them, mainly my mother. But if i dont leave a note I don't want to risk the police getting involved and sleepless nights, worrying.
>>16567727
You'll be killing those you love if you do this... they'll never stop blaming themselves whether they think you ran awake or killed yourself.
A distant friend just took his life -- the scars he left behind for his friends and family will never heal. He wouldn't consider us friends but I am still disturbed by his passing
>>16567713
Sorry for the following "rant", I just don't like when people assume things about me, without knowing more.
I've had relationships before, they just weren't for me, and I'm not confident enough in the current and near future states of the world to have kids.
I already have a degree, and I've decided I don't want to pursue further education simply because it'd be useless to me (in the years it would take for me to get a higher education, I would already be well on my way to getting promoted to the positions I'd get hired for with the degree, without the added bills). And I have no desire for other fields whatsoever.
As I've said my bucket list is complete, I've been to all 7 continents, and to a majority of the countries worth visiting (most of europe, china, japan, etc).
As it stands, all that I have left to do are mind numbing time wasting "hobbies" like TV, the occasional video game, drinking, etc. And staying in moderate shape strictly for comfort in terms of mobility and clothes.
>>16567742
So he should remain alive for the comfort of others? Do his desires not matter?
>>16567778
>So he should remain alive for the comfort of others? Do his desires not matter?
No, they do not matter because he is already dead inside. He is dead, but should continue to live for others.
>>16567980
That would take inhuman levels of willpower.
At this point, I'd call the people the person has to "live" for just as selfish.
>>16567773
you sound like you've done everything except seeking medical help. I know it might not seem like it right now but you've been suffering with depression for a long time(maybe even your entire life) you really should try to speak with a professional about this. seek treatment for this medical issue. too often people treat mental issues as if they were in some way a falling of the person experiencing them. when that simply is not the case. Just like high blood pressure or
weak eyesight, people can be born with mood disorders and if they go unaddressed, how can you expect them to ever get better?
really go forth and get this take care of, if after a span of time if there is no improvement or you still don't like it then you can move forth knowing you truly did do everything possible to enjoy your life before you decided to go through with something that can never be taken back.
like you only think it's a good choice to make based on the idea you will never enjoy the rest of the time remaining to you, yet how can you be sure of this without having first exhausted every means to gain enjoyment out of your life.
I mean if it doesn't help, then at least you can
Your problem is you've never felt alive before. Since you clearly don't give a shit what happens next to you, why not go out and do whatever the fuck you want. Be like a fat girl the day before her diet starts. Party. Get wasted. Play video games for 3 days straight. I don't know what you used to do for fun, but do it. I guarantee you it'll change your outlook.
If that doesn't sound like your ideal scenario, do something you used to love doing as a kid. Don't bullshit me or yourself; you have a list of things you want to do but feel you're "too old" for. Fucking do them. You're a man. Do whatever the fuck you want. Again, it might seriously alter something.
If you try the above or other people's advice, then really just think of what's the point in killing yourself? You aren't a waste. The other millions of sperm cells that didn't make it are a waste. You're alive right now. Sure, you can "make the most of it" if that helps, but I know you don't really care. So do what you enjoy, whatever that is. Have fun with yourself. You've got probably 40+ years (assuming) to figure it out.
I used to be in your position OP. You don't have to feel this way. You just want to right now. Change that.
Leave a note saying you're going to fight isis. Go out to a middle eastern country. Fight isis. Get killed. Your body will never be recovered.
don't kill yourself
instead, climb everest
if you succeed, you'll get a reason to live
if you die, well, at least you tried.
