Is it a really, really bad idea to be FWB with my ex-boyfriend? We broke up over a year ago but started talking again and we both miss sex.
I wonder if anyone here has experience with that and can comment?
no, its a very good idea. you should do it as often as possible
Remember why you broke up over and think if it is worth it.
It can't be FWB with an ex. It's a booty call.
XWB
Really sounds like you just want an open relationship.
>>16567564
You're just creating a list of reasons no one would ever want to date you when they find out the truth
regularly talks to ex - check
fucks ex - check
likely not over ex and will come running whenever he calls - check
The golden rule for FWB's is there shouldn't be emotions involved, and that you NEVER cross that line, or someone is inevitably going to get hurt.
I say this as someone who's successfully escaped an FWB mutually unscathed (with someone who became my best friend after no less), and seen others that have collapsed in to total messes.
With that basis in mind, from the get-go an ex makes a terrible FWB because you come pre-loaded with attachments, baggage, and drama that will always trigger emotions.
You can have sex with an ex, but don't fool yourself in to thinking that you're not playing with fire.
As someone who's been in this position a couple of times, it really depends on what your relationship was like/how strongly you felt for your ex.
My first serious bf and I were fwb for a while after we broke up (together for 1.5yrs), it took over 6 months I think for us to get to that place, but I had no romantic feelings left for him, and I'm fairly certain he had none for me too.
It actually worked really well because we had a fairly good sexual chemistry (lost our virginity to each other too) and we were best friends before and after our relationship, so we knew everything about each other and had good communication/rules.
After a few months we broke it off because I got into relationship but we were still really good friends for a while after that.
On the other hand, my current bf and I have been together for 2 years, with many 'breaks' in which we always find our way back to each other. A few weeks after we broke up last year we started sleeping together again and basically fell back into a relationship. The sexual chemistry I have with him is nothing like I've ever had before, same thing for the actual sex. He knows me better than anyone and we'll never, ever, be 'just friends', or 'just friends with benefits'. That's just the way we are, and we have way too much history for us to ever be anything that doesn't include some form of romantic feelings attached.
You need to really think long and hard about whether it would actually work and whether you can be sure there really won't be any romantic feelings attached, otherwise one or both of you will just end up getting hurt.
>>16568497
OP here, thank you so much for this. The sexual chemistry really is the main reason I am considering it so much. But you're right, it's about making sure there are no more feelings on either end. I'll have to give it some thought and talk to him about it.
>>16568555
You're welcome, I hope you make the right decision and that you (and/or him) don't get hurt.
And that if you do choose to be fwb with him, the sex is awesome lmao
Good luck!
