It's not a bait
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Recently I got my first bf. I was a virgin before and he was my first kiss. We talked about sex and he was very excited that I'm a virgin and promised to take good care of me and said he knows what to do. I asked what he means by that and he said he took virginity from two girls and had sex with eight women in total.... He's 23 and I'm 21... I don't know what to think, I wanted my bf to be maybe a virgin but I would be ok with 1 or 2 girls. But 8 is alot. Just help me adv to decide if I should end the relationship now or give it a try. I like him but when I think about him with other girls I feel nauseous. And he hang outs with some of the girls and wants me to meet them... I just hate the fact that I won't be anything special to me because he had already many women
>>16565788
Honestly. Do you *really* believe he will try to have an honest relationship with you? Or are you just another number, so for the next virgin he encounters he has taken 3 virgins before.
>>16565788
Sex is overrated, but if it means that much to you and you can't look past it, don't date him. He sounds like a normal healthy 23 year old, if you look at it he's had sex with one girl a year since he was 16 (plus one extra).
Sex isn't everything, there's more to a person than just their body. When you lose your virginity, it's not some magical experience where you fall in love and all is ok with the world. Look for a christian man or someone who values their virginity as much as you do if that's really a deal breaker for you, in my opinion thought it's no better than shooting yourself in the knee.
Maybe you shouldn't be with people whose past makes you nauseous.
You might change your mind one day, but the time for reconsideration is while OUTSIDE of a relationship. Or you might never change your mind, which makes it all the more valid to start here.
>special to me
Look, it's not anyone's job to make you feel special. That's your own feeling and your own responsibility. Starting to demand that people feel a certain way about you is ridiculously insecure. You cannot mandate how people feel. Just think about how unreasonable it would be for someone to dictate how special they needed to be in your life. "Oh you kissed another boy? THEN OUR KISSES AREN'T SPECIAL. YOU RUINED EVERYTHING."
Throw away the special bullshit. Focus on whether this is what makes you happy. Happy matters. Special is garbage.
>And he hang outs with some of the girls and wants me to meet them
Wait, the chicks he's fucked? That's weird. I wouldn't continue a relationship with this guy if I were you.
How long have you been dating? Don't rush it. Take your time till you feel better about it. If you're stressing over old girls then you aren't really secure in how he feels about you. You're not going to regret not sleeping with him if he turns out to be a jerk but if you rush because he wants it and you think it's what you should do because everyone else does then he turns out to be a dick you'll feel awful.
>>16565788
That's a lot of girls, I say he doesn't have a very good track record when it comes to relationships, I wouldn't take a chance on it, find a different guy that's not so happy about how many virginities they took.
Then again, I don't know how long you've been together but as a former virgin that waited for the right one, just wait a little longer, sounds like you're not valued as the prize you are
>>16565788
if you hadn't had sex yet then, why not go for making it special with a partner/waiting around, you probably aren't going to marry or have kids in this day and age anyway.
how you're talking makes it sound like you already had sex, so there's no real going back now... so unless him having a larger number over you continues to bother you that would be the only reason to break up(which is reasonable.)
>>16565794
yeah that's the thing he says he loves me the most and that i'm much hotter than all other girls but i just don't know...
>>16565798
I don't know if it's normal to have 8 girls before you'r ever like 30, but its okay. I mean its not like virginity is a deal breaker but it's a bit too much for me
>>16565800
what i mean that I won't be just another pussy he gets to fuck but someone who's important in his life...
>>16565801
yeah with the girls he has fucked and he wants me to meet them and like them too
>>16565811
>>16565815
we've been about five months together. We were planning to have sex soon (we did some stuff like heavy petting before etc) but I'm not sure now
>>16565788
That honestly isn't even a high number.
>>16565823
>someone who's important
Again, you're basing your decisions on a mandate on how other people have to feel.
You're not in a good place to be in a relationship. There are some things you learn by practice but there's also a level of independent maturity you need as a foundation. Needing other people to regard you as special for your satisfaction is not at that level. It's dependent and insecure.
Even if he had only one partner in his past, I'd still suggest that you put the brakes on this one because of the feelings you're expressing.
>>16565845
>You're not in a good place to be in a relationship
Thats not true. I don't base my value on how he perceives me but I still want to be with someone who actually finds me importants and has strong feelings towards me rather than sees me like an another hole to fuck. Whats wrong with that?
>>16565788
everyone has a past. focus on the present. 8 isnt that many, really. i had lost count by the time i was 23. virgins tend to romanticize sex, but after youve been at it for a while, you realize that it is also a mechanical bodily function. with someone you care about, yes, it is special and more satisfying. but, and especially for a male, it is also a biological compulsion. what you need to decide is whether or not you care about this guy, and if his sexual history is enough to disqualify him from partnership.
I'm a male and personally that'd be a deal breaker for me.
>I won't be anything special
That's exactly how I feel about it. I feel like everyone who has had multiple partners secretly compares you to them when you have sex.
Don't do it, he's a virgin hunter. He'll dump you after he takes it.
>And he hang outs with some of the girls and wants me to meet them
8 isn't really that many, but it's a red flag that he still hangs out with these girls.
girl...
dont be needy and insecure
so he had other women in his life. now what?
is he a whore or something?
i think this is more about you than its about him. its about your desire to be in the center of somebodies world. you will never get a healthy relationship like that.
you need to accept people for what they are. we all have our pasts, and so does your boyfriend.
and never compare yourself to other girls. he is with you. period. thats it. if he turns out to be a cheater and doesnt care about you? its his fucking mistake. dont sweat about it.
just calm your titties down and enjoy your young love. keep it simple.
>>16565788
im a dude and im saying its a red flag.
yes he is a virgin hunter once he has broken you in he wont want to know you.
you are just another notch on his bedpost
>ditch him before you get too far into him
I went through a very similar experience earlier this year with the girl I first kissed. We had been in college for a year and had both never dated anyone before. As soon as things started getting really intimate between us she told me about the 8 guys she'd hooked up with. I respected her for telling me, but I was devastated and told her I didn't think it was going to work out. About a week went by and I realized that I really did like her for who she was, and that, maybe, I could forget her past. Maybe I hurt her too badly, but she just wanted to be friends.
The next couple of months I was consumed by jealously and regret. Every guy I walked passed I imagined having been with her. It made me sick, all the while she was avoiding my efforts to remain friends. All that to say, OP, I think I know how you feel, and it hurts. Knowing that you'll probably just be another notch on his bedpost while he'll always be someone special to you is a horrible feeling.
I would like the think that she did me a favor by sparing me that, but honestly I'm lonelier than ever.
>>16565788
>23 year old bf
>carring this much about sexual partners
Top kek
Nice dubs by the way
