Would the amount of people your partner has slept with affect your judgement of them?
I recently discovered that my 20 year old girlfriend has slept with about 20 guys, although only two of them could really be considered serious relationships (one she dated for two years).
Now apart from this revelation, she's pretty awesome overall. She's incredibly honest, funny, beautiful, has an awesome body and we can talk about anything. I feel she helps make me a better person. However despite all this, I can't help but feel a little bit irked by her amount of sexual partners.
How would you feel should you have discovered this about your SO? Keep in mind it could be considered hypocritical of me to feel this way seeing as though I am 25 and have had a considerable number of sexual partners myself.
Tl;dr bothered by the amount of guys my young girlfriend has slept with. How would you feel?
I wouldn't feel anything about it. It doesn't change who she is as a person. The number of partners or how many times she's had sex doesn't matter.
Don't fuck up a good thing because you're insecure
>>16565429
>wanting a blown out used up slut
What is wrong with wanting a pure woman? If she's had more than 1 sexual intercourse experience she is a wore that WILL cheat because muh sexual liberation
>>16565439
lol k
I would feel like she has a shitty pair bonding ability and treats sex much too casually.
Here's what someone said in a thread about this a while back:
>Sex is physically the most intimate you can be with another human being. Thus, most people consider it special and reserve it for people that they trust and/or love. When you have casual sex with lots of people, you tell the world one of two things. 1. I trust/love people extremely easily. 2. I do not need people's love or trust to engage in sex. Neither of these things sound good to a person who loves you. Both of them make the person feel less special to you. Most people see sex as a way to definitively express how much love you feel for them. When you take that meaning away, it becomes more difficult to engage in real relationships.
>>16565439
like does that logic still work for a woman that's had sex with one person over a hundred times?
Yes. It means we have different views on the very fundamentals of relationships.
>>16565476
>I am 25 and have had a considerable number of sexual partners myself
It doesn't seem like her views are much different than OP's. You're taking this a bit too personally. Must I remind you that this isn't about your personal preferences?
>>16565483
Well, he's 5 years older than her and never specified his own number.
>You're taking this a bit too personally. Must I remind you that this isn't about your personal preferences?
>Would the amount of people your partner has slept with affect your judgement of them?
>How would you feel?
>How would you feel should you have discovered this about your SO?
Reading sure is hard, huh?
>>16565486
>Keep in mind it could be considered hypocritical of me to feel this way seeing as
>Keep in mind it could be considered hypocritical of me to feel this way seeing as...
>Keep in mind it could be
>Keep in mind
>Keep
Sure is.
>>16565495
He asked for my feelings on the matter. He asked how I would feel if my SO had fucked a bunch of guys. He didn't ask for objective advice on how to handle his own situation. If he had asked "How do you think I should handle this, given that I'm also a slut?" then it's a different story. But he didn't, it's not. For someone that's insisting I'm taking this too personally, you're the one that comes across as defensive. Sure you're not just a slut that's a bit angry at the whole idea of sluts being looked down upon?
20 by 20, yeah I'd be miffed by that. You'll always have it in the back of your mind how fucking crazy she was sexually and I'm not sure I could take it. I'd assume any girls night out for her could go horribly wrong.
If the positives of that relationship heavily outweighs that big negative well then I'd say continue dating. Just keep in mind you better be satisfying her sexually because there's a much higher chance she'd cheat and make you a kek.
>>16565500
>If he had asked "How do you think I should handle this, given that I'm also a slut?" then it's a different story.
He did imply that, actually.
>Sure you're not just a slut that's a bit angry at the whole idea of sluts being looked down upon?
Lol.
>>16565540
>He didn't ask it
>"He may as well have!"
Ok.
>Lol.
Confirmed mad slut. Come back when you've got an actual argument to make.
My advice, coming from my own feelings, is to focus on the person which those experiences have made her. They will have (potentially) had both positive and negative impacts on who she is. The person who results from those experiences is what ultimately matters for you. This is as true for a girl with 20 past partners as a girl with 0.
>>16565422
Kek.
What makes you think you're not just "another guy" to her?
dump her before she dumps you.
she eventually will get bored of you and she will seek another adventure/penis.
>>16565548
You're way off. Try again. I couldn't give a shit about women being looked down upon for their slutiness, I just give a fuck about people acting like they are different or pretending they have much different and superior values when in reality they have not.
>>16565581
Oh I see. How foolish of me. I thought you had a vested interest in this, but in fact, you were just telling me that I don't hold the beliefs and values that I hold. I can't believe I'd tricked myself into thinking my values were actually my values. What am I like?
>>16565483
>>16565486
>>16565495
>>16565500
>>16565540
>>16565548
>>16565581
>>16565589
How about you two just fuck and get it over with??
>>16565422
It would probably affect my opinion of them, but maybe not in a negative way. It would all depend - how old the person is, the number of partners, how long ago they were, how far apart they were. If a person starts dating at 16 and has average-length relationships (2 years) then that's at least 5 partners by the time they're 26. To me that's not unreasonable. Frankly I'd be more worried about someone who's had no relationship experience than I would be about someone who's had several relationships and partners.
But it's a tradeoff. Several relationships w/ sex = wrestling with your insecurities about their past partners. Several relationships w/o sex = you're dating someone who has an unnatural amount of self control and you can expect blue balls up to your wedding night, at which time you will discover whether you're sexually compatible, at which time it's too late. No relationships = congratulations, you are dating someone who doesn't know dick about relationships, which I suppose is fine if you don't either.
Now, if someone obsessively fucked everything that moved, I'd be a little concerned. But people can and do change. I went thru about 8 partners in the span of 5 years (some were bf's, some weren't), then swore off men for 5 or 6 years, then started looking around for a few years but didn't date or bang any of them, then met someone and got married. But if someone had tried to date me while I was still catting around, then yeah I'd expect they would have had reservations. Generally when people sleep with random people, they're trying to fill some kind of void in themselves, and from what I've seen that goes for men too. And of course people like that are going to have problems with relationships because it's hard to have a successful relationship when your self-image is fucked. It doesn't necessarily mean cheating but it's just bad news all around.
TLDR it all depends on the person, which is a given in any relationship anyway.
>>16565422
>How would you feel should you have discovered this about your SO?
treat her exactly like the rest of the guys did to her and just throw her away like a cum rag.
>>16565593
I don't fuck sluts.
People will say she can't pair bond or will cheat on you but since you're experienced yourself you should be able to see that it isn't true. After all, you're not going to cheat on her just because you're experienced, right?
>>16565612
she slept with over 20 guys and she could not keep any of them. their something definitely something wrong with her and I would encourage op to do the same. pump and dump
>>16565612
>women = men
lmao
>>16565632
Do you mean they're different or that they're inferior? I'll grant they're different.
More than 5 partners a year is slutty. That's one every couple months or so. Nothing wrong with being slutty, and most girls go through a slutty phase where they just don't care. I don't know why it matters to people.
>>16565643
Different, of course.
>>16565647
What if it's just one partner, but the partner has slept with 20 people? And each of them had slept with 20 people and so on? DO THE MATH.
>>16565628
This except I wouldn't encourage OP to have sex with someone like that even once, unless all those partners were in her distant past. Not because she's "damaged goods" or whatever, but because he may catch something. Also, unless she's one of those rare well-adjusted people who just really love sex, it violates the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule.
>>16565555
Very true, Anon
>>16565429
/thread
>>16565722
/whiteknight
you're too old to be worrying about this shit
grow up
>>16565422
Gonna be a lot of people giving you shit over this but consider this. The divorce rate has gone up drastically. Clearly these people's beliefs aren't working to well in the long term.
