How the fuck do you introduce physical intimacy on a date?
I've now been on two dates with a girl, having never dated other than once when I was a teenager. We talked so much shit together, got kinda tipsy and it was awesome but nothing physical has happened and I don't know what I'm expected to do. I think she's really cute but I don't know how to make opportunities for physical contact that aren't just obvious or creepy. Or fucking terrifying.
We had maybe one moment where we were leaning in pretty close while talking, but that was all. Oh and hugs on greeting/goodbye.
As far as connecting emotionally and having common interests I think it's going really well but I feel like I could just fudge it by not taking the lead. She's pretty awkward herself so I don't think she'll initiate anything. She's also a fucking massive hipster so I feel like being too cheesy with romantic gestures is a bad idea.
I know this is a dull question but it's hard to find advice on this topic that isn't aimed at normies.
Offer to give her a back massage. Give her a back massage.
>>16563167
Knowing OP he would give her a back massage and nothing else.
>>16563182
Well, 4 out of 7 times I did this I got myself a new girlfriend.
Good question, pretty much in the same situation atm. Bumping
actually id like to know this as well
>>16563167
That's the worst thing you could do anon. it's abvious and cringy, pic related.
Start with "accidential" touching, like, watching a movie together and sitting close enough so your legs are touching. I always love the intensity of the first time you know you both are very aware of that touch, yet you are enjoying it and would rather "accidentially" move even closer instead of trying to adjust position to avoid bodycontact, like you would normaly.
>>16562903
When you're walking next to her just put your arm around her waist. Easy start and not overtly sexual
>>16564321
Grabbing her hand would be even better
>>16564321
Wouldn't the shoulder be better though? They're just starting
>>16564321
>not overtly sexual
do you grab your dude friends by the waist? I can't think of a way to be more forward other than maybe grabbing both of her boobs and saying HONK
>>16564325
Stick to this chart. It's rather accurate.
>>16564320
How often have you tried it? Because back rubs turn girls on.
>>16562903
I suggest just casually putting your hand on her knee while saying
>i'll just pop this right here
Ayy lmao
>>16564346
I'm a girl. And i would leave if a date came up with such lame shit
>>16564338
I don't go on dates with my fucking friends. Holy shit how autistic are you?
>>16564358
So your sample size is either 0 or 1. My sample size is 7, with a 56% success rate.
>>16562903
People responding with charts and shit lol.
Just use common sense. Don't make it a cringe fest. Any sort of contact - holding hands, touching, kissing - needs to have the right context to it.
here's an example: you don't give hugs out of the blue, that would be weird. You give them when you say hello and goodbye.
Same goes for any other sort of contact. You sit next to one another when watching a movie? Put your arm around her as soon as the movie starts. Don't wait till halfway through.
Same goes for everything else. Good luck.
Focus on the shoulders for the moment:
> shoulder pat as "good job there"
> arms around shoulder as "we're in this together"
> getting both hands on shoulders as approach to first kiss
In general, exaggerate physical gestures that you'd do to friends like fist bumps, hugs and the like with your date.
If she backs off, you should do the same, if she doesn't mind, you can try to get closer.
Source: I was quite successful using those
>>16564510
try to do it in a protective way. like pulling her aside when someone want to walk past her or whatever like that.
when you sit together and you go to the bathroom, when you come back, sit closer then b4. she'll notice, and react. respond to that.
realy feel the water etc.
bc you've had 2 dates and diddn't kiss already, it seems like you are accedently putting the right 'technices' on the right girl.
>"the longer to take for your hand to move to her butt or even lower back, the more she wants to you do it.
touch her, but proceed very slowly to new 'ereas'."
this works for me! very well it does!
>>16564457
As with any act in romance, there's a high chance that it wasn't that singular thing that made or broke anything. There's as many ways to approach romance as there are people.
For me, it's rather simple if you're around each other. Just stop creating that natural physical distance you have with other people. Be aware of your own physical presence and your own, and adjust how close you are, and how comfortable the both of you are with that closeness. It's easiest to start of with seemingly accidental or casual touches, and from there you can escalate things into more deliberate things until you finally get to making out like crazy.
>>16564342
You think its accurate that men dont see thier mothers breasts as being taboo zones?
>>16564757
The graphic gives information on a subject's relationship on being touched by others, not on touching others. Each heat signature shows how either female or male subjects feel about being touched by the person or group of persons in question.
>>16564762
that makes more sense
When there's a pause in talking and you both look into each other's eyes, do not fail to lean in to kiss her, that's all there really is.
First of all, don't ask a girl "do you want a back rub?" Might as well ask to rub her feet.
Hang out with this girl, whether you want to involve alcohol is up to you. I usually do. Eye contact is the first step to physical intimacy. Eye contact and confidence are attractive to women, and it puts you in control of the situation. Talk to her, make her laugh, keep her smiling. Stay close, keep eye contact, make her happy. If there's a silence when you guys are just looking at each other, that's when you kiss her. Honestly she probably wants it just as bad as you. After a kiss, which isn't a big deal, any other physical stuff like hands on the thigh, holding hands, longer hugs, hands on the waist, whatever, just comes a lot more naturally. Trust me, the kiss is the best first step, at least in my experiences with women. Just don't wait too long before you make a move or she'll think you're not interested/just want to be friends/a queer who shitposts on 4chan.
I know some people might say otherwise, but if you are getting along with a girl well, both having a good time, a simple kiss will do the best job at opening the doors for other possibilities. Other than hugging, I don't fuck around with holding hands or playful touching. Sure some brushing and gentle touching, but no lame shit like "how about a back rub." Save that shit for when you're dating or after you have sex. If you start off with a back rub, you're going to start hearing stories about other guys and become friend zoned.
Looking back on the girls I've been with, I always regret waiting to long to kiss certain one. A few would even say something like "I've been waiting for you to kiss me but didn't want to make the first move." I'd say 90% of the time, if you're close enough to a girl to kiss her, and she's showing interest in you, you just have to go for it. Sorry if this is long and rambling, I'm very tired and need to go to bed. But good luck.
>>16564719
Reading this hurts
>>16562903
sit close to her, against her if on a bench.
grab her hand to inspect whatever bracelet or ring she might be wearing. or just to say she has cute little hands compared to your man-shovels. If she has scars or whatever on her hand comment how you like her actually doing stuff.
grab and hold her hand when walking.
maybe even move on to the hug-walk thing
give her a good long hug on saying goodbye (>20sec)
give her a quick kiss with the hug
see if she's going for a french one
when watching a movie or laying on bed, she DOES want you against her.
don't be afraid to initiate something, she's not an idiot, she knows damn well what dates are for and wouldn't be going on one with you if she didn't EXPECT you to touch her at some point. if it's not the right moment she will politely posh your hand away or such and she will initiate a bit later.
Even the most militant hater of cheesy love stuff will love it if it's brought in a cute way so don't worry about that.
but no lame shit like "how about a back rub." Save that shit for when you're dating or after you have sex. If you start off with a back rub, you're going to start hearing stories about other guys and become friend zoned.
some basic truth here, not nessecarily this straightforward but yeah pretty much this. best preserved for in the bed.
>>16563167
Moron
Escalate in the first date.
Sex by date 3 or you get out.
You became friendzoned as soon as you failed the first requirement.
>>16564322
This
HOLD HER HAND.
Its physical contact without breaking boundaries. Then when thats comfortable do arm over shoulder and more hugs n stuff.
>>16565152
>Sex by date 3 or you get out.
Don't be a fucking child.
>>16565431
For real. Sex on first date or get out.
>>16565152
I would have said 4 or 5, any sooner than that and it seems to me they are too loose. But at any rate, we are splitting hairs.
>>16564342
Men think it's more normal for the dad to grab their dick or ass than their sister? Men consider their entire bodies at least a little bit taboo to their partners? >Women are okay with their sisters touching their cunts and not completely against their brothers touching their tits? Who the fuck did they ask about this shit?
Alright lads it's OP, sorry I've been at work / didn't realise this thread would actually get replies.
I've mulled the whole night over my head way too many times now and I feel like continuing to overthink it is just going to make me even worse. But, that's what I do best!
>>16564789
>>16564831
Yeah, this is where I fucked up a little. I mean, maybe. it's a little harder to remember because of the booze. We were sitting there with our drinks and started to talk pretty closely, especially as the place heated up and it was noisy. But I don't know if there was ever really a clear moment, where we were just looking and not talking. I realise that I shouldn't really expect one. That's part of the issue as well - we talked so much that there just weren't many times where we were silent.
>>16564866
Man.
We sat on a park bench and smoked together and I fucking sat like a foot and a half away. I even knew that I was doing at the time but decided it was too late to change it. Then the one time I tried to re-adjust myself, the bench started rocking and that became a funny thing so I didn't try that shit again.
>>16565425
Is it just me or is holding hands actually kind of problematic and annoying? I remember doing that shit when I was 15, and having to navigate around crowded streets when your hands are attached kind of feels silly.
>>16565152
lol
