Hi. I've got kind of a fucked up situation here.
I was in a very toxic relationship with an abusive girl (I'm a male). She was very sick (had an eating disorder and anxiety) and was also abusive. Not only did the eating disorder take its toll on me mentally, she got physical many times. She broke my rib, and I still don't sleep properly at night because of the rib pain. I kicked her out in May of this year, and about three months ago I tried to end things completely. She kept saying no, kept convincing me to work things out. But after that we never really saw each other anyway, and eventually I broke it off. I had trouble doing this for so long, and I did try way earlier in the relationship, but I felt responsible for her in a way. I kept feeling like if I left something bad would happen. Sure enough, a few weeks ago she was hospitalized again for collapsing at work and she needed a feeding tube.
The really bad news? Turns out she's four months pregnant. And while there's still time to abort, I'm pretty sure she's set on it. Not only that, she then tells me her previous partner just messaged her and told her he had HIV. I donate blood frequently so I think they'd tell me if I had it, but now I'm gonna go get a test anyway.
I had met this new girl two months ago who was really just a godsend in so many ways, and she has been very understanding of all this stuff.
But I struggle. I don't sleep at night. I feel like my life is going to be over here. I have 40k+ student loans, and she keeps trying to say she doesn't want my money but I'm always on the hook in the future. But for me it's not even about the money. I go to bed every night with a reminder of the worst year of my life, the worst relationship I've ever had. And now I'm gonna get stuck paying for a kid for the next 20 years? I can't honestly handle knowing I'm going to have to be reminded every month of one stupid silly mistake and one crazy girl.
To continue, this girl is fucking crazy too. She said to me "I'll get rid of this child if you give me another chance". I didn't want to say anything because I'm with this other girl. Like I said, she knows everything. But anyway my ex tried to message her to "warn her" of me.
Anyway, it sounds crazy but I just can't really handle all the mental stress. And if you wanna talk about "I made the mistake and have to live with it", I don't think that this is a typical case. I really can't see myself going on if I have to be constantly reminded of the worst time of my life for the rest of my life, and pay for a kid I never wanted. I don't know what to do, who to talk to, who to get help from. I feel powerless, vulnerable, and helpless.
Tell the girl "have the kid if you want, but I'm having nothing to do with it. You're on your own.". Bluff. You'll be surprised how scary this will sound if this girl has nothing. To be honest, if she's as crazy as you say she is, then I wouldn't be surprised if she's lying about being pregnant to try to keep you. Get the fuck out of there.
>>16562443
She knows I want nothing to do with it. This is what I mean about her being crazy. At first she said she'd get rid of it if I stayed with her, but then she turned around and said she's keeping it because of some other guy...
She has barely been with some guy who wants to apparently be the father. Then she said she'd just go after him for child support if he ever left. But all he'd have to do is take a paternity test and then she can just turn to me.
Well it turns out she's blocked me on everything? Now I don't know what to do. I can't sit here with this hanging over my head for the next 6 months.
>Implying she's going to carry to term with an ED so bad she becomes hospitalized
Even if you were 100% sure this baby exists (which is questionable seeing as it conveniently only popped up as a way to keep you around) there's no way she'd carry the baby to term. Anorexics miscarry.
>>16562725
She thinks it's a reason to get better.
>>16562805
That's fucking bullshit and you know it, this is one everyone always says "DON'T FUCKING STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY". Next time maybe you'll learn your lesson and dump the human-sized tumor before they cuts off your balls while you sleep.
>>16562297
you should definitely get a paternity test. it may not even be yours. she may even be lying about the pregnancy to manipulate you (happened to me in the past). you may well have reason to be freaking out, but you should wait to do so until you have first-hand visual confirmation
>>16562725
holy shit this
if she has eating disorder and mental illness which causes additional stress on her body, odds are good that she wont be able to carry to term
