Hey /adv/, I'm at loss, hope you'd be able to help.
There is this girl, we've known each other for few months now, recently we went out few times, usually to take a walk, or grab a cigarette. We've been to cinema once, the talk with her is really great, we seem to like each other. But there is this guy, she say that he's her "friend", but I don't know what to think about this. She spends time at his home, they talk a lot, and I'm pretty positive they're dating and/or fucking. Am I being logical or paranoid?
>inb4 drunk
>inb4 bad english
Hey son,
She's your FRIEND. You are friendzoned months ago.
>>16561948
Not really, this would be a thing if I'd consider her more than a firend, and she wouldn't. I'm not really hitting on her, neither am I "madly in love". Pretty much it's a status quo, and I'm cool with it.
>>16561956
Then wtf is the problem?
>>16562007
I'm just curious, because who knows, maybe something would come out of this in the future. Also I'd be able to know at least wheather or not have any expectations. I'm obviously not going to ask her directly about this shit
>>16562025
You are very confused, and I recommend you to sort out your feelings for her.
>>16562045
Ok, I'll try to explain it as clearly as I can, or as I get it.
I don't know her all that good. Bit from the second we meet I thought we would be perfect together. I don't feel desperate and depressed, it's a nice feeling, no downsides really. We get along well and if we'd end up together that would be absolutely great. But if that never happens I won't be even a bit sad, I simply have no expectations, I don't give a fuck to be more direct. I'm not gonna make a moron out of myself and "hit on her ". I'll just let things sort out on their own, that's it.
Notwithstanding, it would be nice to know where I'm at.
>>16562095
How about that, now?
>>16562095
Ok, I'll explain as clearly as I can.
I don't know you, but reading your posts, this is what you *project*. This is what it looks like to *me*.
You seem to have emotional issues. Probably you are trying to project an aura of coolness and "I don't care"-attutude. With friends you have to block all emotions to stay on top of your self. You don't want people to see your weakness and voulnerbility.
You *clearly* have feelings for this girl. I mean, come on. You are deeply concerned she has romantical feelings for another guy.
Once again, to me it looks like you are putting up a wall as self-defence. You want out-plan you can tell your friends to hide you insecurity. Pfff, that girl? I'm not with her because *I* don't want to. It's not that I can't get her, no no, I just have no interest. That's all.
Otherwise it would look like you wanted a girl you couldn't have. A weakness you cannot admit to yourself nor others.
>>16562204
My thoughts exactly OP. I've just learned a lot so far, from the most recent relationship I'm going through. Everyone wants to seem like they are in control of their emotions but, ironically, it's the one thing we CAN'T CONTROL. Just be open about it. Do you have to be and overbearing jackass and be like "oh I'm deeply in love with you!!<3" no, but calmly tell her that you are interested in her as more than friends. Just letting things happen can be nice too, it makes it spontaneous, but in my recent experience, I just told the person I would like if something happened between us, EVEN AFTER THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T WANT ME TO LOOK TOO MUCH INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP....and you know what? Things are going pretty well. Being honest is ALWAYS better than being subtle.
>>16562204
Damn man, That's deep, that's good, that's great analisys and you almost hit exacly the spot. It would be 100% correct few moths ago, but I "faked it till I made it" and now I acually feel nothing. It's rather sad, really, but I became almost absolutely indifferent. I feel either good or so-so, but I don't seem to be able to go with anything else.
Recently I almost got beaten up, and was so disappointed. I was walking with my friend out of the bar and walked past some slav in the doors. He shouted "GO FUCK YOURSELF" to me and I just sighted. Took few steps and there he is, went after me and started flippin: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!
I repied with "No." and kept on walking. He kept on loosing his shit, going after me, yelling that he'd fucking murder me and kick the living shit out of me. And my pulse didn't even fucking jump. I was so disappointed, I thought I'd make me tense at least, but no.
So I acually wish I was torn apart by my current relationship with Her, but I'm not. I see her few times a week, we talk, it's fun, it'd be great if we could do all that holding hands. That's it. No idea how to break it.
>>16562229
But yea, maybe I feel a bit different when I look at her. Maybe my heart just skips one beat. What is it good for is she has someone else?
anyone would like to weigh in before i leave?
>>16562433
Checked
