There's a girl who works for a different company in my building who comes to the office I work in maybe two or three times a day to print things off at the printer beside me. She is extremely beautiful and is exactly the sort of girl I'm attracted to. However, she is privately educated and presumably from an upper-middle class family, and her co-workers and probably her friends are from that class / background too.
I've only talked to her in order to help her with printing problems once or twice, other than that I've consciously adopted a pose of indifference towards her and pretended not to notice her entering the office. How could I go about talking to her? Or should I not do that in your opinion? I really would like to at least try to talk to her, but since I'm a quiet person at work it will be obvious if I suddenly make conversation with her.
Girls like manly lower middle class guys. Chat her up.
Lay that game down! Show the office how it's done!
>>16559254
DUDE! I thought I was the only loser reading those!
I'm not alone!
Go ahead, there's nothing to be afraid of
>>16559254
Although I am prone to over-complicating basic issues, I do feel in this case that I have to be very careful about admitting any attraction towards her. My quiet, emotionless disposition means that any effort to talk to her or show interest in her will probably seem disingenuous or at least will make it obvious that I like her, thus placing myself in an inferior position to her and allowing a person who may not be the kind of person I appreciate, personality-wise, to reject me and feel more certain and confident about herself (which, if she has a personality I don't appreciate, would not be a good thing IMO). Also how do I go about "chatting her up" in an office environment? It's pretty quiet and I'm right in the middle so anything I say will be heard? I've had the autistic notion of dressing up like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver and delivering his opening monologue to Cybil Shepherd's character ("I can tell you're a lonely person...") but realistically I don't know what to say, though if I was allowed one "test run" before the real thing I'd like to approach her in the hallway and ask if she'd like to take a walk with me sometime, though since we mainly use the hallways to move to and from the toilets I don't think this context would be very romantic and might be "creepy" since it'll be just the two of us there.
>>16559263
Could you be more specific in terms of actual strategies and so on?
Also this is my final week in work before the christmas holidays, I feel it would seem "desperate" or something for me to approach her during this time.
>>16559265
You've convinced me not to try and talk to her.
What an over dramatisation. Next time she's there for a few minutes, say something like... "Well I really need a coffee (whatever), do you want one?"
So it's a casual question of convenience. Even if she doesn't say yes you've chipped at the ice, even if it is yet to break.
BTW, chicks from upper-middle and above have high expectations of guys. If you're the IT guy who changes cables and settings, the mail boy, etc then she's not going to think much of you. So if you have a more senior role you'll need to establish that first so when you hit test ice it chips rather than completely deflect your attack.
>>16559253
try to be on the same place as her as much as you can you dont have to talk to her just make sure to be where she is as much as you can
>>16559303
We work in different offices and don't cross paths except on the way to and from the toilets etc.
>>16559293
The high expectations she likely has are what intimidate me. I would describe her as someone who appears to have her diary full. But then it would be contradictory of me to assume too much about her given that I have adopted a pose in relation to her, which isn't a very accurate representation of my private and more natural personality.
>>16559309
try to eat where she eats take the same transportations elevators shit like that
>>16559318
She goes to one of the local stores at lunch with her female co-worker and then returns. Sometimes I pass them but I pretend not to notice them. I eat alone on a bench and then spend 30 minutes walking around alone.
Read a book named models. It touches on different aspects of confidence and what it takes to wear your heart on your sleeve.
In others words, it's your lack of confidence or fear of polarising her that is holding you back. Whether she is receptive or not, she is just another person. There will be many more if you look.
Oh god just talk to her and find out
>>16559370
I require more detail regarding potential strategies and so on. Talking to her would be an admission of my attraction towards her, which would in turn place me in a vulnerable position whereby my co-workers might pity me or think me delusional for talking to her, since I tend to view myself as a repulsive, weird person despite attracting girls throughout my late teens and twenties. I feel a precise, flawless plan is necessary to engage her in a conversation or build up enough curiosity and subtle longing in her towards me before approaching her.
>>16559380
Spergboy wants the cheat codes to win the sex video game.
OP you are aware that if she never initiated conversation with you and know where your desk is means she is not interrested by you right?
if you cant talk to her talk to one of her friends
>>16559388
I'm not looking for cheat codes, and I realize whatever happens there is a great risk of me being rejected and disheartened, I just don't know how to approach her or make my interest in her known. Advising me to "go ahead" or "just talk to her" would be fine in a general context, though in the specific context of my workplace, as I have detailed above, it is difficult for me to approach her without immediately making it known that I like her and thus am missing something in my life (which people will think is the major contributor to my general quiet and melancholy-seeming disposition). She makes coffee sometimes but I feel even then it's too obvious for me to go and fill up my water glass (I don't drink coffee) and say "hey" or something.
>>16559399
stare at her i guarantee you she will notice
>>16559393
I understand why you might perceive this, though I strongly believe her not making it conspicuous that she's also interested in me doesn't mean she isn't or might not be. She has asked for my help twice, and smiled at me in a way which made me overwhelmed by feelings for her, though in response I made sure not to allow myself to smile or seem too giddy. In the past there have been girls who have had crushes on me but only admitted it when the time came for us to separate for some reason (end of school, end of semester etc). The girls who have had crushes on me have tended to be attractive, though not my type, which is encouraging and makes me feel less inclined to believe my current attraction to this girl is the result of delusion or something. Also the office where I work is rather quiet, and her company only come in to make coffee or have a meeting in one of the spare rooms. So talking casually about stuff by the coffee machine isn't a "thing".
>>16559411
When she comes in I do try and look at her, and sometimes she will look up and look at me. She wears a rather neutral, sometimes a sort of superficially angry or at least busy facial expression a lot of the time. When she prints things off she is pretty much standing behind me and to the side and looking over my shoulder. When she does this I sometimes feel like I did when I was in my early teens and a girl I liked was nearby, my stomach seeming to fill with electricity or something. Do you think it would make sense to try turning around in my chair (swivel chair) when she comes to print something off and smile at her or something? Bear in mind any strategy I agree to follow through with as a result of this thread will only be tried out once. If she doesn't seem to reciprocate I will act as coldly as possible towards her, mainly by pretending that she doesn't exist.
What's your job?
>>16559399
It's best to initiate early rather than later before you start fantasising on what could be because the fall will only be harder if she rejects you.
>>16559461
I agree. I feel I may have left this drag on too long already. I feel if I was a girl I'd want to be so appealing and attractive to a potential partner that he would be unable to resist the temptation of at least talking to me or something. I however have suppressed such desires and remained aloof, which have probably (if she has even thought about me for five seconds) made her think of me as some sort of autistic (probably true), will-less robot or that I at least am not attracted to or interested in her. Also I have already fantasized about what I'd like our potential conversations to be like, and this is making the reality of our continued non-engagement more and more depressing for me. She really is a rare phenomena among our species, in my experience, being as beautiful and pleasant-seeming as she is.
