Friendless college guy here
How the hell do i force myself to be more social without seeming desperate?
>>16557633
have no expectations about results, just say what's on your mind and learn from past experiences.
simply assume people like you as you are, not as you "should" be.
smile and be calm
>>16557661
Why should i botter learning from past experiences if i should have no expectations about my results?
>>16557633
Well if you're of age, go gave a few drinks at the bar. That'll open you up :)
>>16557669
if been to parties before and gotten drunk.
Alcohol only makes me more introverted and self-conscious (by trying to avoid as much as possible doing things i will be ashamed about once ive sobered up)
>>16557667
Because your past experiences were miserable and lonely, and you don't want to be that way anymore.
Lesson one: stop being such a self-pitying fuck, Jesus Christ.
>never assume anything you've been through wasnt worthwhile ever again
>stop talking down about yourself henceforth
>stop minimizing your decent qualities
>stop focusing incessantly on your flaws
>make jokes that aren't sarcastic holy fuck
Nobody likes hanging out with those depressed shy people who rarely talk and will only open up to mention how worthless, or at best, absolutely average and indistinct they are. Damn you're annoying as fuck, but we'll whip you into shape
>i only wanted this post to be one sentence but you aggravate me so much
>>16557706
i dont want to be alone, then i should have expectations
>>16557667
learning from your past is about being pragmatic about your goal; not having expectations means not being phased by how others see you in that moment.
So if you chat with a girl and you don't get her number, no big deal. But at the same time you don't want to repeat the same mistakes over and over. Like if you say a joke that never gets any laughs, or if you approach girls from behind by dropping your hand on their shoulder and scaring them obviously you want to adjust that
Approaching a person who's alone as opposed to in a group helps.
Smiling more -> inner confidence boost
>>16557706
This is self steem 101, pay atention
>>16557712
>But at the same time you don't want to repeat the same mistakes over and over
and how do i know what the ''mistake'' was?
During a social interaction i do and say hundreds of things.
Every time i apparently fuck something up, i never seem to know what i did wrong.
Sometimes it seems like people are leading me on and then cutting me off just for laughs
>>16557711
Yes, go ahead and nitpick some trivial ass shit while you waste away. Proving some semantic point while ignoring the core of his advice and taking some action is truly the best course here. I congratulate your enlightened intellect.
In any case, you should not have expectations about the results. You should talk to people if you don't want to be alone, because by talking to them you are by definition not alone. Expectations on the results of talking to people are what you should not create.
>>16557725
practice and exposure. You need to adopt the mind of a self-reliant scientist. Even asking us for advice is kind of detrimental to your progress
Most people can tell what's up in a social interaction and what adjustments they need to make because they've been trained to see social ques.
>guise pls halp
receives advice
>don't listen to advice
>argue everything
>throw out all advice beause doesn't 'comprehend' it
>never had any intention of taking new action
>it was all an act to justify his self-loathing anyways
Another one of these threads, eh boys? OP is a fucking cliché.
>>16557771
Relax, even the off-chance of a genuine cry for help is surely worth the minimal psychic effort of the occasional person who exactly fits your mold. How many are there, anyways?
>>16557771
>>16557771
OP reminds me of my friend who tried to get good at a video game, but every time I gave him a tip he would theory-craft a counter point.
And whenever he lost he would call the game imbalanced or his opponents cheap, instead of trying to adapt.
>>16557669
Lol alone??
>>16557771
>>16557794
Oh im sorry, i was just hoping that i could for once get some better advice than the generic ''just do it XD''.
if you read my posts you'll see i never rejected the advice, but just was asking for clarification about what it means.
Im just trying to dig deeper about the meaning of it, seeing as the advice given thus far is too vague and broad too be helpfull
