How do I make a long distance relationship last?
We knew each other for a long time before become long distance and will be with each other physically again in a few months.
It's hard.
>>16555887
I knew my ldr gf for years before we had to part ways. We communicate a lot (cellphone, Skype, email) and every few months visit each other. It's hard sometimes, but when your with them it makes it much better.
>>16555916
We Skype about 4 hours a day, text the rest of the time. Been doing this for about 5 months, 5 more to go. I miss her.
>>16555887
Send her gifts or give her something to remeber... no really, during the neanderthal times one of the big advances was the invention of artistic pieces that defined both the identity of the wearer and his status and also permitted the creation of long distance relationships.
Of course,if your wife/husband/horse isn't attached to you as you think you are... well, then there is nothing that you can do to stop her/him/that.
Try to maintain as much of the things you shared from each other's life, at least in the closest approximation you can. If you frequently dined together then share a meal over Skype video chat as often as you can. If you played co-op video games, play online multiplayer. This should seem pretty obvious when you think about it. The relationship thrives within its established context. Make it work on the terms by which it has always worked. And for fuck's sake, DON'T SCREW UP THE REUNION PLANS. Both of you must absolutely be able to rely on your expectations of when this situation will be over.
>>16555929
This is the OP by the way. This is how much we communicate.
>>16555935
Unfortunately sending a gift costs anywhere from $80-$400 for shipping alone, which is horrendous but it means I can't send too much because she is absolutely adamant that I am saving money for our future of marriage and living together.
>>16555941
This is a good idea. We used to travel a lot together but that's less of an option I guess. But I love the eating together thing. She's brought this up. The only reason we haven't is because I don't cook at the moment, I just eat out because I know a place that is cheaper and need to save some money, and currently don't have a kitchen (this is changing in a few months), but overall it's a good idea.
Ok I won't screw up the reunion plans. The plan is that she comes as soon as she gets the visa, which is in processing, and we bet conservatively that she will be here by May.
When she arrives, I'm going to to meet her of course and then take her to get washed up but then I'll take her out to a very fancy dinner and then possibly find a hotel that night, try to make her feel very welcome in her new home.
>>16555958
>t it means I can't send too much
So.. you don't have anything that could relate to something special that happened to you two? Nothing? If she is so decided to marriage it means that you have been together for a while so you must have something.
>>16555967
I sent a box of gifts to her and her entire family at one point.
We send pictures to each other all the time, mostly from before we were an LDR, so they are very good for remembering what was definitely the happiest time in my life.
So pictures. Is that what you mean?
We also both wear a silver ring that the other hand-crafted in a kind of "couples gifts' workshop" (took about 6 hours), so that reminds me.
Besides that.. I've got a necklace from a trip I took with her niece and which she actually couldn't come on which I've been waiting for her birthday in February to send to her.
Besides that is just food and music I guess, which can't be mailed.
Is this what you mean?
>>16555977
>We also both wear a silver ring that the other hand-crafted
Something like that yeah, in fact it should be enough by itself(although, if you see her without the ring or the photos it might be a bad sign)
>>16556001
The rings are worn 24/7 by both of us.
When we see each other again though, I will have bought .
The only reason we are LDR at all is because you have to apply for a Fiance Visa to legally stay in the US and we want to do this the right way.
>>16556001
Ah but the pictures are sent digitally. Everything is sent digitally except for the gift I sent to her and her family and of course the rings we both wear because we gave them to each other well before leaving.
We also have "couple clothes" which are just matching clothes, but we don't wear them or anything cause they're meant to be worn as a couple. But yeah.
>>16555887
the key is talking every two days, evfen if only for ten minutes, sending lots of selfies to one another of whats going on throughout the day, and of course, KNOWING WHEN YOU WILL MEET AGAIN.
indefinite long distance cannot work.
>>16555887
if its only for a short period of time like a few months, consider doing video blogs for each other. you can even set them to private so others cant see it. just record yourselves on your phone, just showing random things throughout the day, and upload to youtube so you can both see.
>>16556031
If we are doing like 4-5 hours a day as it is, are you saying that's too much and bad, as in 2 days is just a minimum, or you're saying to hold to 2 days?
The reason it's 4-5 hours is because we just turn on Skype and then go about doing normal things in our day and chatting with each other like the other person were in the room.
We know when we will meet but I will keep that in mind that it's important to have the date set and not mess with it. Thank you.
>>16556034
Good idea for when the other is sleeping.
Other than that, we kind of just keep skype going and walk around showing each other stuff sometimes. But I like the idea and will try something like it. thanks.
>>16555887
Text a lot, skype a lot, skype sex!! stay in contact every single day, send selfies troughout the day, keep countdown to the day you'll be together again. if you truly love each other you will make it
>>16556068
Doing all these so far. Still really hard.
>>16555887
Move where the other is. Extended long term relationships will not last, one of you will be unfaithful if you stay apart too long.
>>16556057
i recommend just two days because you dont want to burn yourselves out on each other. talking daily makes you run out of things to talk about. yes you say its owrking now, but you WILL burn out, and without the ability to interact it will lead to awkward sadness. you will run out of things to say.
in addition to that, you HAVE to live your lives. you gotta. if a couple cant survive apart, they wont survive together.
>good idea for when sleeping but already do 5 hours a day
NO. the vlogs will just continue to oversaturate. its great that you found someone you love like this but you cannot base your existence around one another, even in a LDR.
>>16556106
maybe thats the issue? you are basing your entire lives around each other when you cant even touch each other. its going to make it hard. just live your normal lives and talk every two days.
>>16555887
How long do you have until you're together for real?
If it's longer than 1.5 years break up. It won't last no matter how often you skype/call/etc.
This is coming from a guy who was in an LDR for 2 years, it doesn't matter what YOU feel anon. You can't control your SO and the only person you can say you know how loyal they are is yourself.
>>16556184
We have until the end of April. We've been doing this since the end of July.
I did an LDR for 6 months before with a different girl and it didn't end well. This one is very different, but that's why I'm here asking.
>>16556156
Yes. As I mentioned above, we are trying to do that. We are just waiting for the Fiancee Visa to finish being processed. You have to wait, that's just the way the visa works. We're trying to do it as fast as we can and will be married when it's all done.
>>16556184
There's that 2 year mark I keep seeing..
And your post really is true. Evn if you're steadfast, the other person won't be.
>>16556184
>>16556998
Really? Maybe I'm an outlier (not OP).
>2 years together
>4 years apart (2 hour distance though, different colleges)
>6 months together
>now going on 6 months apart (different states) (found a great job out of state)
I'm proposing to her since she's looking for a job in my state (which will hopefully smooth out). Some may think I'm stupid for going this long with her, but she's definitely the one. Just a matter of time.
