Just turned 30. My girlfriend of five years and I broke up.
Most of our mutual friends/acquaintances stopped talking to me and it's greatly affected my social life.
I live in a foreign country where I speak the language well and also one of the biggest cities in the world. I have a job that pays alright and I enjoy it. Still, I feel extremely depressed. Maybe the most I've ever been in my life.
I'm "old" now and feel like I failed. Maybe I will be forever alone now. How do I recover?
Are you Gaijin-san?
Go chill in Roppongi I heard.
Men become more attractive as they age.
>>16554894
That's an absolute no. It's a disgusting place.
>>16554895
Maybe... It's hard to get over that it feels too late to pursue a relationship now.
Do you live in Tokyo? Same thing happened to me a few months ago lol. It's a pain in the ass but the only thing to do is make new friends.
Personally, I'm in uni here so it was easy to make new friends. Not sure about what to do if you're in a company. There are a lot of circles here for Japanese people who want to speak to foreigners though, so maybe go to a few of those each week, and if you're lucky you might meet someone good and you an slowly build up a friendship circle by meeting their friends.
Just a word of advice: don't complain to everyone you meet about how your gf dumped you and you lost all your friends, because it's very unappealing unless you're already close friends. I know from experience that it's hard to avoid talking about because it's the only thing on your mind, but you've just got to avoid it at all costs.
>>16554907
Yes, I live in Tokyo. I work for a pretty standard Japanese company and I've lived here as long as I had been dating her. Not sure how comfortable I feel about those international parties... But I haven't been outgoing either.
I plan to move to a new part of Tokyo next spring to change my environment and just start over.
>>16554903
>That's an absolute no. It's a disgusting place.
Ayyyy, Ebisu then?
More seriously, to cheer you up, why not hanging in a local bar and talk shit with old drunken Japanese. Listen to salary men talk about their fantasy with young girls. Don't drink too much if you don't feel so well though. This works for me.
In a week or two, you can try meetup events, it's pretty active in Tokyo. Get on dating services (tinder, OKC).
>>16554919
As someone who has been to quote a few of them, I haven't ever made any lasting friends there, but only because I never followed up with any of the people I met there. Most of the japs there have pretty shit English, so it would be better if you can speak Japanese, but they're always very enthusiastic to speak to a big white man.
Research shows that people who live in a foreign country and their foreign gf/bf breaks up with them, are most likely to return to their original country
Welcome back to the United States!
>>16554921
Well I live in 下町, so drinking with older people in little izakayas in asakusa is my regular past time these days, but I don't consider that outgoing.
>>16554923
Can't say I've met any quality people at them, nor any stable women. Everytime I give them a chance it's usually a mistake. Meetup might be a good idea...
>>16554941
Uh no. I like my job and living in this city.
>>16554945
I'm also 30 and I find it pretty hard to date women around my age as they almost always bring up marriage question as soon as the first date.
I'm now considering younger ones, but I neither work nor live in a young area.
I could meet pretty cool people of meetup. I would just advise against those "international parties" as they are Roppongi-gaijin-hunter tier usually
>>16554975
I plan to move to Koenji... It seems more up my alley now and more of the 25-30 year old crowd. Five years in Asakusa has been a bit much for me. Yes, women past thirty are an irrational kind of serious here.
>>16555029
Good luck to you.
30 is not old at all, especially for a guy in Japan, also since you speak the language, I don't think you're fucked at all.
I remember how turned down cuties only because of language barrier and I wanted a normal relationship where I can communicate with my gf without Google translate. Now, I'm so desperate, I'd say yes to any...
Just wait a couple of weeks, try some casual dating maybe?
Broke up with my bf of 6 years earlier this year. Same situation with a plethora of married men or free English lesson seeking locals for dating options. If you find a good place to hang out, do share.
>>16554887
you had a gf for five years, so obviously you know how to talk to girls and do stuff with them.
Why would you be forever alone? You did it once, you can do it again.
Just learn from the break up and try to be more optimistic about yourself and life.
30 isn't even old, if you take care of your body, eat right and exercise you should look pretty young still. 45 is when things start getting old
>>16554895
My girlfriend of 4 years left me for a 40 year old guy, we are both 22. I guess there's some truth in this.
>>16555047
I guess it's a personal problem for me to get used to telling girls younger than me that I am 30. In Japan isn't youth preferred?
Well I've been doing tinder a bit and got a handful of matches. Actually hooked up with a cute 22 year old girl into cosplay but she was also absolutely insane. Think I might take it a bit slower. Maybe just regular nampa is the way to go?
