sorry this is so long, i really need the help
a year ago i was into that stupid redpill bullshit. I guess it got me laid a bit but for the most part i realize now that women are people, not mindless idiots. I recently got into my first real adult long term relationship. Unfortunately, my redpill ways still show, kind off. Im always skeptical about being more affectionate than her, and always kind of treat her badly. she puts up with me because shes amazing and im a dick
last night, we were arguing. although she was probably wrong, i hung up on her instead of talking like an adult. She called back later and we talked for 3 hours. Basically it ended with her explaining that im not warm enough, and that 9 months in i should be able to talk to her about all my feelings, even the clingy ones. I explained how when in clingy im afraid she'll take me for granted. She conceded this made sense but thought i was still stupid. I told her id improve but she said it wasnt enough, that tonight was indicitive of a lot of problems. Im going away for the weekend, and she wants this weekened to think.
Im terrified if i dont play my cards right, she will break up with me. Im going to try to be more warm and all the stuff she told me, but will that be enough? Please im borderline depressed. Shes amazing. I cant lose her just because im pretending to be a stoic asshole
>Im terrified if i dont play my cards right, she will break up with me.
Look I know you're trying to ditch the red pill stuff, but you're swinging too far back the other way. Let's stick with a reasonable, middle-of-the-road idea: you shouldn't need to have to walk on eggshells to earn someone's affection. Isn't this supposed to be about your SO simply liking who you are and what you add to their life? If you want to be a better person for your own sake then go right ahead. But don't act like you've got a fucking gun pointed to your head. If she wants to leave then let her leave. Find someone else who is enthusiastic and hopeful about a future with you. Be equally enthusiastic about them. That's all.
>>16553708
nah i wouldnt change myself for her, its more because im usually such a caring guy, but just not in this regard.
I see i am wrong now, but she just wont take me on my word that ill get better.
I know losing her isnt the end of everything, but i still cant stress how it would really fuck me up
>>16553720
>it would really fuck me up
Dude you're swinging from one end of crazy to the other.
Maybe relationships aren't in the cards for you at this stage. You can't seem to level off on a healthy view of them.
that's what I see happening:
>your girlfriend is not satisfied
>you become a pussy and do everything to please her
>doesn't work, she's still unsatisfied and dumps you
>>16553729
legit feel like ive always been needy, I just supress it.
But whats wrong with wanting to fight for it a little?
>>16553734
If shes says she wants space, is this like some BS to see if ill try hard now, or should i just back off for a week or so?
>>16553747
can't really help you here, but if someone told me that they wanted space, then I think they are 90% sure that they are going to move on
the other 10% is the last hope that the person has of changing her mind
but each situation is different, so i can't speak for you
>blaming redpill for your own inadequacies in your relationships.
First things first, you are responsible for your own conduct in your relationships. You did it, now own it.
Second, show me anywhere where it's redpill to consider women to be mindless idiots, to argue with them like children, to bend to her will on a whim, to have oneitis, or to pretend to be something you're not. Go ahead, I'll wait until I'm Mr. Skeletal.
wtf is redpill
just googled it lol i thought it was a dick enlarger haha
