Hit it off with a girl on tinder. Went on a few dates and ended up cuddling, making out and then almost fucking on the third date. I was extremely nervous and awkward during this, and it definitely turned her off. To make matters worse, I couldn't get an erection due to my anxiety and we didn't even fuck. Long story short, I killed whatever chance we had at something pretty quickly because of my fear of taking things too slow, but also being ill prepared to maintain such a pace.
Anyways, we go to the same University but we're also from the same state. We didn't know each other before college, but we'll both be going back home for winter break.
Is there anything I can do to try and get a second chance? After we stopped trying to fuck she talked about how we were taking things too fast and that she wasn't ready for something so serious (I'm pretty sure this was just her letting me down nicely, but I wish she would've just told me if it was because of my shitty performance in bed just so I could be sure. To make matters worse, she said that she "promised that it wasn't because of anything I did".)
I haven't talked to her in a few days, and I probably won't even try to communicate until we're back home. The only reason I'm even choosing to believe that she actually meant what she said about talking things too slow was that she pulled me in for a kiss before I left her apartment after our shitty attempt at screwing (we also cuddled for a while after that too) I don't know why'd she do that if she didn't actually have feelings. Should I try to message her as a friend during winterbreak? Romantic feelings aside I did like hanging out with her.
>>16552276
Be honest about what happened and if she isn't a shallow bitch she'll more than likely give you a second chance. Of course this also really deppends on of she is intrested in you or was just looking for a fuck.
>>16552357
I can't tell if she's a shallow bitch. I mean girls who aren't just looking for a hook up don't cuddle and passionately kiss the guy, I'd assume. But I'm honestly not sure, and I fucking hate how hook up culture has made me anxious about not making moves fast enough. She seemed to generally like me before I spilled my spaghetti.
>tfw holding hands walking back to her apartment
>tfw stop at a red cross walk
>tfw she grips one of my hands with both of hers
>tfw look at her and she has a cute smile on her face
Fuck man, I hate being so goddamn socially inept in college. I feel like I finally get a chance to have a relationship and yet I still fuck up, even when I was so close. I don't want to fuck random girls every week, I just want someone I can talk to and watch netflix with after a long day of studying or some shit.
>>16552400
"Hey, I've got to say I'm sorry about last week. I feel like such a spaz. To be honest, I kind of hate how hook up culture has made me anxious about not making moves fast enough, and I liked you enough I guess that's what happened. Truth is I just want someone I can talk to and watch netflix with after a long day of studying or some shit.
Anyway, sorry about all that. Have a good Christmas break."
If she responds positively, see where things go from there. If not, you got it off your chest.
>>16552422
Oh by the way, that hookup culture shit is kind of in your head.
Something you realize as you get older,
When it comes to dating, the only rules you have to follow are the ones that you both set.
>>16552429
It was really fucked. I just kind of did things on my own for the first two dates we had, and worked up to just cuddling. Shit got really fucked up when I started asking one of my friends who's a social butterfly (good looking, popular with girls, charismatic, etc...) and he started giving me advice from the perspective that I was just trying to fuck this girl, which lead to me trying to take things fast like he advised. I usually trust this friend for girl advice because usually he's pretty fucking right, but I don't think his strategies will produce the results that I want.
I already sent her a similar message, but that's what led to her saying that she wasn't ready for a relationship and shit. I might post a screenshot of our last text conversation. I might just text her over break and see if we can start as friends again because I do actually like her a lot. It's probably just me being inexperienced with romantic connections, but the fact that she kissed me before I left is really fucking with my head. If she wasn't still interested after my fuck up, I don't see why she'd bother to stop me and pull me in to kiss her before I was about to leave.
>>16552445
To make you feel better and let you know you're not a total fuck up.
If you already sent a similar message and she said no, she said no.
>>16552448
I understand I fucked up, I know it and so does she. I still don't see why we can't at least be friends. Even before I started getting physical with her, I enjoyed being with her. Even if it's too awkward for us to be involved romantically now, I can't get her out of my head. I'm not sure.
>>16552454
>I understand I fucked up, I know it and so does she.
And that's why she tried to make you feel better. So you don't beat yourself up as harshly over it.
> I still don't see why we can't at least be friends.
>I can't get her out of my head.
You realize those two sentiments run exactly contrary and would make you an orbiter right?
You can't befriend someone on the half hope you want to bang/girlfriend/whatever them. That's just unfair to both of you, and kind of manipulative desu.
You're obviously not thinking straight. Take a step back, learn, and move on. That way if you bump in to her later, you'll have matured, and you can see where things go.
>>16552492
>kind of manipulative desu.
fuck you 4chan for making t-b-h become desu.
>>16552492
I guess you're right. I'm not really sure though. She even leaned in and whispered that she'd see me soon after we kissed. Fuck man, I don't know. Part of me just wished that she'd tear in to me and tell me how I fucked up what was probably a sure thing, all I had to do was get an erection and not act like a shaky sperg, but I guess that's too much for me to handle. It just seems so fucked if she's actually cutting contact with me because of our first sexual encounter being somewhat awkward. Fuck, I just wish I could have seen what would have happened if I stopped at making out for the night, and didn't advance into taking clothes off.
>mfw I have mutual friends with her
>mfw she's probably told all her girlfriends about "that weird guy who couldn't get it up and seemed really nervous"
