you have every right to be jealous. That's super suspicious.

>>16552166
It's too late now, but here's where you lost the highground:
>she tells me that he is her friends and I shouldnt want her to stop seeing her friends.
Next time when she mentions that she's going out for a wine with someone you think is sketchy invite yourself along. You shift the moral impetuous from yourself to her: you either get to go along and put this guy in his place, or you seize the moral highground by forcing her to admit that she wants to hang out with a guy she likes by herself.

Of course she could break out the old My-Personal-Space gambit, but you just counter with the Couple-Means-Sharing-Lives maneuver, and if you get stuck there's always the Crazy Ivan.

Being in a relationship is like being in a submarine battle, is essentially what I'm saying.

I'd be pretty upset. Not because she's hanging out with another guy (Well, I wouldn't be upset if that's actually all that's happening) but because she said that she'd do one thing, and goes behind your back and does the opposite. I'd say thats a red flag for your relationship if its only been a month and your partner is already willing to just tell you what you want to hear and go behind your back rather than discuss things.

>>16552166
talk with her about it. when this doesnt help, i would dump her.
How should you ever trust her if she tells you something you want to hear and then does the opposite of it behind your back?

>>16552208
>>16552198
>>16552196
>>16552176

thanks guys, the problem is I can't straight up start talking about her because the way I found out about it isn't excty clean. And I cant invite myself along because she doesnt tell me she is going out with him.

Also we are together for over half a year now

>>16552222
>And I cant invite myself along because she doesnt tell me she is going out with him.

Sweet jesus OP. How beta are you? The girl clearly doesn't want to be with you and is just using you

>>16552232
I am pretty beta. The thing is I love her and I think she loves me... I don't know man I know it sounds retarded but i don't want to let her go, i think she really sees him as a friend

>>16552236
She doesn't love you. You're just convenient to her.

>>16552303
I don't know mate, but isn't it wrong from me to command her to not see her friend because of my jealusy? That's always how she puts it and I don't know how to respond

>>16552312
No, she's going behind your back. She's a bitch.

>>16552338
yeah i am really disappointed with that.. I will probably just casually try to ask her if she heard anything from him since they stopped talking and from her answer I will decide what to do next

>>16552342
What is your / her age OP?
What country?

>>16552350
both early twenties, i am older

how is country gonna help you? I dont want to get found out

>>16552354
Dude chill country has alotmto do with it.. culture and schooling all change country to country
If it helps im 29/m/aus i live in WA 6002 you got no chance of finding me tho ^_^ vpns are beautiful bro you should look into being actually anon even on chan.

>>16552360
well whatever, czech republic

>>16552354
Also early 20s is only a 5 year span so 6 months out of 5 years.. im not saying i dont think you love her but ... its only been 6 months ... do you / her work ? Go to school ? Live together?

>>16552364
Im in uni she i still on our equivalent of high school. We don't live together. I really like her. I feel like this whole thing is fucking retarded but I don't know how to approach it. The best thing would probably be to let her see him but every time I even think about them being together my blood starts to boil

>>16552369
You 100% need to stop being beta she WILL cheat if she feels like she is lacking something young women are like that bro either demand she nit see him again because it makes yiu uncomfortabke or dump her and find a girl that wont treat you like like. A girl that has some fucking respect for.you bro.

>>16552384

I will ask her about him, If she says she is not in contact with him even though I know it's a lie it will really hurt me tho. But that's life I guess

>>16552393
Just start DOING something for fuck's sake. Can't believe you've let this go on for a while without doing anything.

>>16552166

Dump her bro, as man you know that "but he is muh friend" is bullshit, its not even about you being insecure, is about that she doesn't respect you, she is going out with a guy who as feelings for her and she is ok with that, so she probably is liking the attention he is giving to her, this can and will scale(if already didn't) to something more, its just a matter of time, jump off now before you get hurt and find a girl who will respect you.

>>16552401

I found about her still seeing him yesterday. I was so mad I had to cancel our date with some bullshit reason because that simply wouldn't end well. But I wan't to this in person, not over facebook and I will seer her either on saturday or sunday.

>>16552403
I don't want to just dump her, I will try to confront her and I will see. But I always read everywhere that it's wrong to make ultimatums.. I dunno

Honest advice? Just leave. She knows full goddamn well what she is doing is not appropriate and she wants the attention, simple as that.

You need to take control. You tell her that she's not going out and if she does that you're finished with her, simple as that. IF she still goes.. then dump her and don't respond to her AT ALL. Clean break. Girls hate it when you don't sit there and indulge their bullshit.

>>16552412
It's wrong to make ultimatums if they're irrational. You think it's okay for her to be seeing a guy that you know fucking well is trying to game her? She likes the attention he's giving her and that is NOT okay if she's in a 'relationship'

Learn to stand up for yourself.

>>16552412

The thing is, if she want to see him, there's not much you can do about, she will lie to you and see him behind your back, you already know that she is not worth your trust, but its your call.

>>16552196
>Next time when she mentions that she's going out for a wine with someone you think is sketchy invite yourself along.
Best advice ITT

>>16552457
>>16552458

I don't think it's ok, I fucking hate it. I told her and she says that he thinks about him as a friends who she knew for a long time. But fuck that. I will just tell her that I don'T want her to keep seeing him

>>16552461
I will give her another chance..maybe it's a mistake but I just have to

>>16552476
You're missing the point, anon. If you want to appeal to her obvious disregard to your feelings then be my guest.

I'd make one last suggestion, you tell her that she IS completely disregarding your feelings and ask if that friend is worth causing issues in your relationship. Tell her its a yes or no question. Then you'll have your answer.

>>16552482

I think I know what you mean, the problem is that she then turns it into me disregarding her feelings about her friendship and not trusting her.

But there is no other way, I will do what you guys are saying

>>16552488
You need to explain to her that if she had not made out with him then it would not be a problem and you're sorry if she feels that you don't trust her but that you just cannot accept what she is doing.

This girl is not what you need right now, friend. Jealousy is an integral part of any relationship, but there are gentler ways than this to deal with and overcome it. She does not see why she should respect your issue, she wants it all, and she's shifting the focus on you to justify her behaviour. Maybe she's looking for a casual arrangement while it sounds like you mean to give your all.

Find someone that's more in line what with you want; find someone who wouldn't mind missing out on a friendship with questionable undercurrents to be with you. Alternatively, take this less seriously and hang out with other women too.

>>16552166
Lol dude. Dating bitches from highschool is like asking to get keked. Specially in czech.

Btw get some balls and pride jesus christ man. If that happened to me, its him or me after their first date

>>16552497
>>16552498
>>16552508

Thanks guys. It's true I need to grow some balls. I will simply tell her that it's unacceptable to me and if she cant understand it there is probably no reason for us to continue. I tried too hatd not to make her sad that I made a total bitch out of myself

>>16552517
We've all been there anon, so this isn't a condemnation of your actions as much as us trying to help you from making the same mistakes.

A committed relationship is a two-way street. If you don't have respect and trust. It's nothing. She isn't respecting you, and you'll eventually not trust her. It's a nasty cycle.

>>16552539

yeah, I hope it all works out good, wish me luck bros

>>16552517

Man, its doens't matter if she says that she you not see him anymore, you know you can't trust her, only two things will happen:

She lie to you and keep seeing him behind your back

Or she stop seeing him and do that again with another guy in the future.

There's no happy ending for you in that history anon, i'm sorry for you.

>>16552166

Sorry but she enjoys that he likes her, and your relationship can not recover, they are dating

You're too late already in stopping this, she'll keep seeing him, and do what is only natural.

break it off it you have any respect for yourself, she clearly does not respect you,

>>16552640
>>16552632

I don't know guys. It was her who walked out after they made out, not wanting realtionship with him.
I think she really wants him as a friend but I would be really surprised if the fucker is ok with that

>>16552166
this is not friends out for a glass of wine or coffee but a date. If you are ok with the girl you call your gf dating another guy then continue to live in your bubble if not there is nothing you can say to her to keep her from doing this so you have only one option and that is to leave and find a woman that understands the meaning of a commitment to you

1. She went behind your back
2. She disgregards your feelings about seeing him, meaning she doesn't respect you. It's a shitty move when she knows it makes you upset, she should be more conciderate.

>And I cant invite myself along because she doesnt tell me she is going out with him.

Hm I mean im not a realtionship expert but I always know where my partner is. Not knowing that is pretty strange, even if you haven't been together for ages yet.

I wouldn't dump her, but have a hard to hard with her. Stand your ground.

>>16552674
>>16552684

I see your point guys. So you don't think it's selfish of me to deny her seeing someone she considers just a friend?

>>16552701
My gf introduced me to all her male friends without me asking and some I have become closer to them than she. That is not what you are dealing with. She met this guy spent lots of time, kissed, you came along and she is dating both of you. In fact she is more honest with him than with you because she tries to hide seeing him

>>16552701

Well it can be, but now when.

1. The guy "loves her"
2. You are not okay with her seeing him, probably because of point 1.
3. The context is strange, it would make more sense if it was a group of friends doign something together instead it's just him and her.

I wouldn't be cool with my prartner hanging out with a person that is super into them, even if my partner didn't have any mutual feelings it's still a pretty unfair to her friend also. If that guy "loves" her, she shouldn't be around him so he can get over her.

I wouldn't mind my partner hanging around with a friend that wasn't into them, specially not if partner told me and it was just casual hanging out. I do belive men and women can be friends, all depends on context.

>>16552701
this isn't a friend but a guy awaiting an opportunity and a girl keeping him around expecting one

>>16552701
No, you're letting yourself be keked if you continue to let her treat you that way. She is putting herself in a precarious situation where something could 'happen' or she could be 'raped' knowing full damn well you aren't doing anything about it.

>>16552166
I just read the thread and see with some amusement girls will be girls, no question about it.
I am sorry to say i recognise the signs: a whole lot of red alerts out there.
OP, this is coming from an old man with a very long experience in life, my own, my friends' and my nephews'.
Trust me, this relationship of yours has no future, the girl is a bit uh 'fickle', we shall say, perhaps because she is young.
Move on, you'll spare yourself a lot of grief.

>>16552736
>>16552764
>>16552767
>>16552799

I was concinced that I am in the wrong but I think I am not. I will confront her and will see what will happen. Thanks for input to all of you.

>>16552799
>Old Man

How old are you? I'm always curious what 4chan has to offer someone older than myself. As I've gotten older, I've found that I've grown farther and farther away from here (I'm 28)

>>16552821
>I was concinced that I am in the wrong but I think I am not. I will confront her and will see what will happen. Thanks for input to all of you.
REPORT BACK PLEASE!

You are not in the wrong. If you confront her, it's not going to go well. She will say things like "it was just coffee. I've always been good to you and I clearly lead a good life, all I did was get coffee with a friend, oh my god what is wrong with you?" and try to make you feel like an idiot here. You are fine. You need to respond very calmly and do not escalate things. Be very honest. Explain your situation calmly and don't let her escalate the situation. When you're done, you need to explain why you are uncomfortable with the matter and how you feel about it, and then either give her the ultimatum that if she contacts him again, etc., that you will need to break up with her, or simply say that you are no longer comfortable with this relationship and you're sorry but you're going to have to let her go. Make it very clear how you feel and that's that. Stay calm and focused.

>>16552166
Save yourself some heartache and take advice from an anon who has been there. Once the trust is gone, leave.

>>16552821

I'm starting to feel bad for you, i can see in your replies how you want to make it work, your cause is lost and everybody here is saying this, the only thing you will get when confronting her is, dumb excuses and unnecessary drama, anyway good luck op

>>16552822
> How old are you? I'm always curious what 4chan has to offer someone older than myself.

I'm pushing seventy.
One of my nephews spoke to me about 4chan/advice, and I browse /advice from time to time, the reason being I'm curious and with a lot of time on my hands.

>>16552384
This. Not every young women is like this tho, but OP's GF definitely is.
You're getting the problem wrong OP. She brainwashed you into thinking the problem is that you don't have the right to tell her not to see a friend, the real problem is that she agreed with you that it wasn't just a friend and not to see him anymore but still does it.

Honestly OP you should dump her because everytime she'll get a little attention from another male she'll dive in, and this is coming from a grill

>>16552874
Why not make a thread where people are asking you for advice ? I'd be interested and you're probably giving better advices than most robots who lurk here to say wimin are the root of all evil.

>>16552830
I am going to do it on saturday, nobody will probably remember this thread by then

>>16552850
>>16552876
I will first see what she has to say and then I'll decide... I like her a lot

>>16552857
I want to make it work really bad. I love her. But it's time t ogo all in and see where she is at I guess.

>>16552893
Post Saturday evening anon, and I'll be here. I want to hear the update.

When you go out with someone who likes you, you get their full attention and free booze, which is amazing. I understand this. What I do not understand is lying about it behind your back. This shows that she values free drinks more than she respects you.

>>16552896
Ok why not, i will post around 21:30 CET

>>16552887
> Why not make a thread where people are asking you for advice ? I'd be interested ...

Thanks, Anon.
Fact is, I'm a bit uh 'choosy' about giving advice, meaning I dislike going into issues I'm not sure about.
When my nephews and their friends come to me with their problems, I have them speak at length, we have lunch or dine together, they bring the girls over and so on.
To give advice is something I take seriously.
On 4chan, sometimes it is easy because you see a pattern that sticks out, sometimes the issue is more 'clouded' and I am reluctant to speak out.

>>16552874
>Seventy
Damn.

>>16552874
I figured it was significantly older than I. After being on 4chan, it's easy to see the sage advice.

>>16552952
They're lucky having someone who'll listen to their problems this conscientiously and try to give them advice. Keep up the good work :)