As much as I hate being a boring enough dipshit to post yet another thread about girl problems, I'm gonna do it because shit's getting frustrating.
>be a 19-year-old kissless virgin
>there's a girl
>something special about her
>exchange a few words, she seems lonely
>too shy to ask for her number, opportunity passes
>think about her every day for over a year
>flip out, find her number online, ask her out for a coffee, she agrees
>she's not even creeped out but flattered that you were thinking of her, turns out she's socially awkward and has few friends, probably never had a bf
>try to stay in touch but she responds very slowly and bluntly
>interpret this as lack of interest and say you're going to stop messaging if she's disinterested
>she apologizes and tells she's just "bad at chatting"
>not sure what to think but continue trying to maintain a dialogue because you can't keep your mind off her
>she keeps responding slowly and bluntly
>realize that she might actually be bad at chatting which you don't find ideal in a mate
>realize you two probably couldn't have a sustainable relationship because of this
>be now a 22-year-old kissless virgin
>you've matured physically quite a bit over the past few years and have become attractive enough to get laid by attractive girls, the threshold to approach girls has got much lower as well after contacting this one girl
>the problem now is that you've been thinking of her for so long and are so emotionally invested in her that you can't think of having your first sexual encounter with anyone else but don't know how to proceed because she's shy and seemingly inexperienced and would probably require a long time to warm up and you'd probably have to be in a relationship but you're not sure if it could even work and you two live 100 miles apart and she lives with her parents and doesn't want to move out
I'm pretty sure I could somehow make it work but I'm afraid to a make a move on her. Should I just move on? Pic unrelated.
Two shy people shouldn't date. Find someone more outgoing than you.
>>16548059
I'd like to lose my virginity to someone equally inexperienced and attractive and they're hard to come by. She'd be perfect in that sense (forgot to mention that she's cute as hell). I'm not very shy if I try hard not to be.
>>16548084
Learn to compromise on these silly romantic ideas.
Generally it's hard enough finding a broad who you can stand being around for more than two fucking minutes, let alone her not being butt-ugly, stupid, manipulative or just a downer.
>>16548048
You say you've matured "physically" enough to get laid by attractive girls. I'm calling bullshit- no big deal, just keeping you honest.
As far as the "wanting to lose your virginity to her because she is the only thing i've been close to fucking therefore I have only fantasized about her" shit, fuck that. If she wants to hook up, even if you have to be in a relationship, do it! I've said yes to relationships just to put it in before, you should too.
You both seem awkward and made for each other-- even if she is a bit hotter than you. Nailed it.
>>16548242
>You say you've matured "physically" enough to get laid by attractive girls. I'm calling bullshit- no big deal, just keeping you honest.
I understand. I just kind of know this for a fact. My sister keeps teasing me about how many of her friends have begun lusting after me lately. She even tried to pair me up with one of them who she quoted saying "I could get any girl if I tried". The girl I'm into has been dropping spaghetti pretty hardcore when we've met too, she's always breathing heavily and blushing the whole time. It's strange because I never evoked those kinds of reactions during my teenage years. I was "cute" and girls were mostly nice to me but it's a distinctly different kind of nice now. That said, it's definitely not a big deal. I just honestly believe it.
As for your last point, I thought so too. I probably wouldn't regret it if I managed to get cozy with her. Knowing myself, I probably would if I didn't. Then again, that "wanting to lose your virginity to her because she is the only thing i've been close to fucking therefore I have only fantasized about her" part is too true, I've met very few girls in my life. Never been to a party, never been to a club. Maybe I'd forget her in a heartbeat if I just went to a festival or something.
>>16548443
That's not a direct quote btw, as in my sister's friend wasn't referring to herself. I'm very tired.
I guess a verdict has been reached. I'll ask her out and express my feelings. Right?
>>16549180
>and express my feelings
What that you deemed her well qualified to lose your virginity to and fantasized about her for 3 years?
Sorry, lel. I had a girl like that half a year ago (20yo virgin, here). Both shy, yadda yadda. I was also thinking about her everyday for a long time, which I'd say was unhealthy. It didn't work out with her, I'll spare you the details. But I decided to cut all ties and forced myself to go out (was also party/club virgin), met mirriads of people, girls included. So 6 months later, rarely even think about her.
My advice is to vastly expand the pool of people to choose from by going out or joining some activity, and you'll definitely find someone you click with, whether it'd be friend- or relationship level.
In the meantime, ask her out.
>>16548048
>something special about her
False.
>interpret this as lack of interest and say you're going to stop messaging if she's disinterested
This is where you fucked up.
>she apologizes and tells she's just "bad at chatting"
This is where she curved you.
Stopped reading there.
Drop this chick dude you already FUBAR'd this and you've wasted so much precious time.
>>16550088
When people say they "went out and met people" what are they talking about. Let's say you have very few friends. How do you "go out" and meet new ones?
>>16550304
If you're in College/University it's mega easy, there are tons of events all the time, and then just talk to people.
Otherwise, find a hobby that's not a 1 person thing. Join some club, etc.
Anything, could be a book club.
All it took me was 1 person I chatted to a couple times (last time I did was ~1.5 months ago, before that interaction). We did small talk that didn't even go well, then towards the end he asked me "What are you doing on saturday?", I said something that implied nothing, he was like "There's a party", I went "Yes".
Met 7 new people there, one sort of clicked. Met up a few times, introduced me to more people, clicked with a few of those. And I went from staying at home all the time to going out 2-3 times a week.
And that was a completely random interaction, when I got invited, maybe even a pity invite, but I saw the chance and grabbed it. If you were to put yourself out there, actually trying, new friends would come way quicker than mine did.
>>16550088
Thanks for randomly necromancing my thread. Good to hear the thoughts of someone who's been there but took the wise route instead of the one he's fixated on. It truly is unhealthy to fantasize about someone based on a first impression. Even though she turned out to be much like I imagined, I definitely see her in a different light after I contacted her (which I'm glad I did). The next time I meet a "dream girl" I'll be prepared to realize that she's just an ordinary person with flaws like everyone else.
>>16550115
Well, I paraphrased a bit, she didn't tell me she's "bad at chatting". She said she's "insecure, perfectionist and has no social skills" and it just takes her a lot of effort to come up with a response. It's not exactly accurate to call her responses "blunt" either. It's just that it actually takes days for her to answer and considering that her messages feel kind of uninspired, I can't understand that she couldn't just type it on the spot.
>>16550701
Wow sorry, apparently I didn't even read your post. So you did approach the girl, it didn't work out and then you went clubbing. Whatever. Got it.
>>16548048
>>try to stay in touch but she responds very slowly and bluntly
This displays a lack of interest in you.
>she apologizes and tells she's just "bad at chatting"
She's just being nice. Don't EVER believe what a woman says at face value. Observe her actions. Seeing that the slow and blunt texting continued, she still had no interest.
>you've matured physically quite a bit over the past few years and have become attractive enough to get laid by attractive girls, the threshold to approach girls has got much lower as well after contacting this one girl
Great. Now use that to your advantage. Don't just get stuck on one girl. There are plenty of women in the sea and getting stuck on one is only limiting yourself.
If you really want this to work, make a definite date. If she agrees, great. Make dates once a week until she starts contacting you, wanting to see you more often.
No matter what anyone else tells you - stop chatting via text and shit. Text almost solely to arrange a meeting somewhere. I'd give that a try before writing everything off.
