Prenup
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Me and my fiance, who is 11 years older than me, have agreed to a prenup before we get married. I'm much younger and a student with no income, whereas he owns two companies, a house worth ~$400k, and 3 very nice BMWs, etc etc.
I thought it was common sense that we'd sign one and I'd have worried if he hadn't of brought it up. It was just something I always assumed we'd do because it's smart on his part and I don't date idiots. He also has slight trust issues because his brother, who he had made his business partner, royally screwed him over.
The only issues is, when I read the prenup, it said that if I signed, I'd be waiving my right to spousal support. Hypothetically, if we were married and he started cheating on me, if I wanted a divorce because of that I'd be completely on my own, with only our divided marital property, and my small income that I had garnered working for him (plus in the event of a divorce I'd no longer be working for him and have any income). No alimony payments on his part. Is this even legal? Would this prenup even stand in court? I am currently 8 months pregnant, and as soon as we sign this thing we are getting courthouse hitched (my family is very traditional and would disinherit me if we had a child out of wedlock).
I mean isn't the law super accommodating for women? I'm 11 years younger (21), 8 months pregnant, and a full-time student. Wouldn't those factors alone be enough to throw out a prenup in court? All I'd have to say is that I was under duress/pressure, right?
Don't misunderstand, I love this man dearly and would never be unfaithful, and would always try and work things out before considering a divorce, especially since we have a child, but I'm just making sure my ass is protected in case he turns out to be a cheater. I've been cheated on by all my exes and it's just something I won't stand for. P.S. I plan to stay in great shape, give him sex whenever he wants it, etc.
Don't worry you can still legally stick your grubby hands in his pocket and take the money he's earned.
Hopefully he'll learn next time to not marry.
What a great marriage you will have. You haven't even sealed the deal and you're planning extensively to see if you can fuck him over when you had agreed in the first place to have a prenup with him.
>>16545249
lol I feel like guys with that attitude are the ones that shouldn't marry. He's Russian and believes that men are the bread-earners, and that women stay pretty and sexy, cook, clean, and have babies. Which I'm totally fine with, but all that stuff is a full-time job, too. So it's not like I'm just sitting around the house getting fat and spending his money.
I dance in my spare time to stay fit and learn languages for fun. I always keep a positive attitude even when I'm having a bad day just to lift him up, and love to give him massages, cut his nails, etc.
basically treat him like a king and enhance the overall quality of his life, make sure he always comes home to a perfectly clean home with a delicious meal prepared, myself dressed and makeup/hair done tastefully even if nobody else were to see me that day, etc etc, etc.
That is how I justify my legal entitlement to his money. I want him to be able to protect his premarital assets, but if I give and give and he takes me for granted then I do believe he should not go without punishment, and I also believe I should be able to maintain a similar standard of living. Like, I do nothing wrong, then suddenly I have to be a single mother in a crappy apartment looking for shitty job because I was forced to downgrade schools and raise children instead of getting work experience?
I had an awesome linguistics internship opportunity in Washington this past summer and I gave it up because it was far from him, and he couldn't go without seeing me for 3 months (prob read: would have fucked around).
I also go to a top tier university and will have to downgrade to community college-level university because it's the only school near his house. Give and take.
>>16545238
Lol women think they have the right to someone elses money when the person earned it all themselves, why dont you i dunno, GET YOUR OWN JOB and success then if youre so worried.
>>16545263
I am being smart and protecting myself from potential getting fucked over, you sourpuss.
He is 11 years older than me but by no means unattractive. I have been cheated on several times in the past so I'm no longer idealistic about relationships. Plus I have a baby on the way so I have to ensure my quality of life will be good for my child's sake as well.
>>16545310
potentially*
>>16545305
did you even read the thread
>>16545297
>he is Russian
Don't worry, he won't leave you - most of us enjoy having trophy wives and don't mind you sitting around the house and doing nothing/indulging in hobbies.
That said, drop your attitude. I am not saying become a doormat for him but don't feel like you are entitled to HIS money, HIS lifestyle and HIS connections. I guarantee you that he won't tolerate this and then he might drop you.
Just focus on raising your kid, having fun and helping him with his business. I think he will appreciate the last thing the most.
>>16545297
>but all that stuff is a full-time job, too
You don't get paid if you get fired from your job (divorce), I don't get how your entitled still.
>I also go to a top tier university and will have to downgrade to community college-level university because it's the only school near his house.
You poor dear. It's tough fucking a rich fucker like him huh? I dunno how you do it.
Give and take.
Sounds like a lot of taking from your part honestly.
It's not my duty to judge, but people like him won't learn I guess.
I'm saying nothing bad towards you also if I could fuck a millionaire and get free shit and be entitled to his money if it didn't work out I would too you greedy little bitch.
OP you suck. If you get married and buy a house together then half of it is yours even if he payed for it for the most part but you have no right to anything else he had. He also doesnt have to pay you shit if you get a divorce other than child support when the court gives you custody (and it will because you are a woman).
>>16545297
Boofuckinghoo
>>16545313
>doing nothing
this is so far from the truth. I could argue that I do more than he does in a day.
Once he made it so that I was dependent upon him, he kinda did make me entitled to a certain lifestyle. Or at least maintaining the one I had before. I come from money, but I was also earning my own on the weekends (stripping at a high class joint, making ~$3k a weekend while also a full-time student).
I don't believe I am entitled to half of his shit, (just as I believe children are not entitled to their parent's money) but I do believe I am entitled to a small part of his salary IF and only if he were to cheat on me (not saying leave me, because he said he wanted to make it so that if he were to leave me I'd get half, and if I were to leave him I'd get nothing, plus it's more likely that he wouldn't want to leave me, but just cheat).
I would rather be entirely self-sufficient but he is making it hard for me to do that. It's not like he is some millionaire and I'm a gold digger, the only reason we're so unequal right now is because I'm a student and very young. By the time I'm his age I will have more money than he does now from my family inheritance alone. The prenup does not protect me at all, because that will happen after we are married.
>>16545344
> I believe children are not entitled to their parent's money
>By the time I'm his age I will have more money than he does now from my family inheritance alone.
Yeah I can totally tell you're a hard worker and your future plans don't depend on everyone else's money in the least.
>>16545344
This is a joke, right?
>>16545358
OH I'm sorry, I should just donate my inheritance to charity, how dare I be born to good fortune. This must totally mean I'm not hard-working and plan to live off of others. So much butthurt and retardation in this thread
>>16545238
Okay so like could someone actually answer the question instead of all this hurr durr women r evil bs
>I've heard prenups often get thrown out in court, is this true?
and a question for the...wonderful anons in this thread
>I am a perfect waifu, and he cheats on me, which makes me want a divorce. You think it is fair/justifiable for me to be in a hard position financially because of this?
P.S. even if I were granted full custody, I would NEVER make it so he couldn't see his child, I think it is completely integral to a child's well-being to be raised by both parents, plus it's his child too...
>>16545238
>21 yo
>8 months prego
>not even married yet
>guy is 11 years older and wealth
>implying that she is not a gold digger
Yeah OP, i can feel the true love that you have for him.
Ayy lmao
You guys are getting married. Talk to him about that clause if it bothers you, easy. Draft and redraft until you're both happy with it.
>>16545427
oh, because talking about how wonderful our relationship is would be totally relevant to the context of a prenup
cool assumptions bro
We are getting fucking married, he proposed to me before I ever found out I was pregnant (proof in timestamps of engagement pictures compared to ultrasound photos and due date, not that it would matter but it's the first thing every generic asshole thinks) isn't that enough to warrant the assumption that we are madly in love and compatible as fuck and want to spend our lives together? Like are you that fucked up and bitter that you'd rather assume I'm just some golddigger just because he's older? He's handsome as fuck for his age, and not even that rich, which is why I mentioned my family's wealth. And we didn't know the extent of our respective fortunes until months into us dating seriously.
plus you could easily re-word that and change the implications
>young hot 21 yo
>putting life dreams on hold and throwing away best years of life to raise his child
etc.
ayy u mad and jelly
>>16545470
he didn't even know what alimony was until I brought it up. His lawyer pretty much filled in the blanks for what appears to be an older man younger golddigger template. Because he's Russian he didn't even bother reading it, trusting the opinion of his lawyer, yet it was full of errors that I pointed out that he never intended to be in there such as me having no claim to any of his shit if he were to pass, whereas he wants to will it all to me and baby.
He most likely sought council from his male party friends, who don't know me at all, and who were 100% like hell no alimony is hell bruh
basically rich retards who have bad taste in women and dated golddiggers and as a consequence have tarnished views of women influencing his opinion
I'm over here like, why waste both our money (lawyers get paid by the hour making changes, back and forth shit) when I could just sign it, since it's unlikely to hold in court anyways since it's so flawed. He gets his sense of security, I get security as well, win-win.
We aren't qualified to give legal advice, OP, so I suggest that you speak with a lawyer.
It is possible that this clause only waives your rights to the STANDARD division of property, because the prenup will govern the division of property instead. All prenups have a clause like this, and they could not function without it.
But for all I know, while that clause must be there, it clause might not be the one you're talking about. You may have stumbled across something entirely different, and that could indeed be worrisome. You need to talk to a lawyer to make sure.
And if he gets defensive, abandon ship. No reasonable person objects to having a lawyer look over a contract.
>>16545676
Why not go to his lawyer together (and along with your own) and talk with all four about what you guys want out of the prenup. It'll be nice to have for peace of mind. That's usually all a prenup is anyway, so why not get it up to the standards for you both to have it.
>>16545649
Yeah, yeah, sure...
Im jelly cuz i don't have a pussy, whores like you who hit the jackpot makes me soooo jelly, i wish i had an old fart to make my life easier, congratz on your catch you lucky bitch :-)
Are you white, op? Also Russian?
>>16545716
So much this.
It's a document and can be revised before you sign it. Not something that has been written in stone. Jeezus, this whole thread you had implied you were smarter than this.
OP, does he call you suka and pizdyet? Those are Russian words of affection and you should sign whatever he puts in front of you.
>>16545754
I do have to have separate council, or else the whole prenup would be invalid. I have just not had time to meet with my lawyer yet
but emphasis on separate...I do not think you can actually meet as a group because then anything decided could be argued as swaying one party one way or another
>>16545733
I am white and American. My dad is Hungarian though...that is us pictured
>>16545765
danyet
My thoughts on this.
Tell him calmly that you are fine with the prenup and agree that it's only fair that he can keep the stuff he earned before you got together. But that he needs to realize how vulnerable your position is if he offers you zero support in case of divorce. For example, if he became a raging alcoholic who beat you while the kids are still small, you could have to choose with letting yourself be abused and teaching your kids that this is what they can expect from marriage (and from their "safe" parents), or taking them and leaving which puts you in the position where you'd have to scramble for crappy jobs and probably have a very hard time balancing making money and being a full time parent - kindergarten or nannies are not exactly cheap.
Of course this is an extreme situation and I do not recommend using this exact example. But if he is an intelligent and somewhat reasonable man, he will be able to understand that you don't want to possibly be trapped in a situation where you are literally incapable of providing your kids with a quality (living close enough to an at least decent school, being able to afford healthy food, you name it) life. Because that effectively means that it would be very difficult to leave him, no matter what he does. Even regardless of whether that situation ever arises, that is just not a healthy basis for a relationship, feeling utterly dependent on someone else - and their expectations. You can invest in remaining well groomed and fit, sure, but what if you become sick and bedridden at some point? Will he want to remain by your side or will he ditch you for a young, fit woman who can bear him more kids and take over the domestic part of life?
>>16545814
Maybe there is a compromise like including a clause where he will provide for the kids - not just buying them trips or whatever he feels like giving but base necessities, so that load's off your back.
You are only twenty one, this man has not just a load of money but eleven years on you. You are pregnant with his child and are going to become fully dependent on his finances and his willingness to accommodate to you.
No matter how much you love him, if you have a good head on your shoulders please take a hard look at this. Realize he could not just fuck you over, he could fuck you over so bad it ruins decades of your life. This has nothing to do with how much you love him - just like no matter how much he loves you, he wants a prenup, because he knows otherwise you'd be the one having a hand around his balls and ready to clamp down. It is very understandable that he does not want that but you should think about how you can have a back up plan for yourself so you are not 1000% restricted to his whims or his potential charity.
>>16545238
>"how can I reduce the effort I need to make to take all of my ex husb-I mean husband's money after I divorce him? "
From the pic, he seems like a disrespectful douchebag, from your description he sounds like an entitled, narcissistic douchebag. When you split up you'll be dealing with this very same (and now bitter mysoginistic) douchebag. If I were you press the issue of alimony to the max (it's his kid after all) and when he shows you how much of a douchebag he REALLY is, learn how to spot a DOUCHE, don't date another douche EVER , and get on public assistance until you can get a degree & job with enough income to do it on your own. It's called feminism and not controlling patriarchy for a reason darling.
Tldr; Fucking golddiggers
If you have an inheritance lined up for yourself, why are you so desperate to get his money? I don't understand.
I would only be upset if the prenup exempted him from providing anything for your children. That is the only change you should make, that if you do divorce, he still needs give his kids monetary support.
This is the purpose of a prenup, what the fuck did you expect?
My husband and I have a prenup. We do not have kids yet, but we have a clause that he does have to provide a certain amount of support to any kids if we do divorce. I'm not privy to anything he inherits or makes, and vice versa. Of course we support each other now. He makes more money than I do, but I pay him back for paying more than 50/50 by cooking and cleaning in addition to my full time job.
If you are so stressed about money, go out and get a part time job. I know he is Russian, but he knows you worked before. Tell him you want some extra spending money to buy luxury items for yourself without wasting money. You could save it up for a "just in case" reason.
You really need to grow up and realize some things about this world and empathize with other humans before you give birth. You have one month to improve this.
This is fucking disgusting
Can you tell him to make a thread so we can tell him to abandon your ass?
OP you sound like the most immature little girl I've ever had the nerve to deal with. My 9 year old daughter has more sense than you.
It appears you're trying to compensate for this lack of maturity by finding older guys and popping out a child early, which is fine, but this man does not want anything more than a fuck buddy and baby machine out of you. He's proven this by saying he prefers traditional women.
One day when you're much older (you're fucking 21, practically a baby) you will see all of this, and just like how those past boyfriends were trash heaps and you can retrospectively introspect all the writing on the wall, so too will this man become what you thought you were smart enough to avoid.
>>16545238
ITT OP comes on 4chan and brags about her rich fiance.
This thread pisses me off
People come to /adv/ because they want to kill themselves or have depression, then OP decides she wants to stick her grubby fingers as deep into her fiancé's pockets as possible
Leave this board you waste of life
GUYS I WANT A PRENUP BUT I STILL WANT ALL HIS SHIT WHEN I DROP HIS ASS FOR THE NEXT SUGARDADDY
>>16545238
"11 years my senior" sounds better. I stopped reading there.
>>16545238
>I mean isn't the law super accommodating for women? I'm 11 years younger (21), 8 months pregnant, and a full-time student. Wouldn't those factors alone be enough to throw out a prenup in court? All I'd have to say is that I was under duress/pressure, right?
Listen you cunt. You're not entitled to anything the man owns. You want the good life? You agree to his terms. Besides your pussy and child bearing abilities you're worthless. Fuck off.
>>16545238
maybe try talking to him about that. you are very logical in your approach to prenups.
so go to him and say
"I am glad we are getting a prenup, because it means if anything bad were to happen, god forbid, it wouldnt have to get messy. it wouldnt be drawn out. it wouldn't further tarnish all our great times together. you've worked hard to get where you are and i know that everything you own is yours alone. i would never try to take your house, your cars, or your fortune just to hurt you.
but i am concerned about what might happen if we divorce because my life is almost entirely based around you and we are having a child together. if I had my own career established i wouldn't be too worried but I wrok for your company and likely will continue to do so, or maybe not work at all for awhile considering the baby.
if anything bad were to happen and we'd get divorce, it would be very hard for me to make a life for myself, especially one that would accomodate our child. is there any chance we could work out now, in a pre nup, some sort of alimony type payment that would happen should we ever divorce?"
from there you go on for what you'd think you'd need. be a real person and not a golddigger of course. you may be used to a very grand lifestyle now but if you get divorced you shouldn't expect that same quality of life. think about how much you'd need, whether you'd need a full amount of money to cover ALL your expenses, or just a monthly stipend that doesn't cover everything, but at least helps when you get on your feet.
if he is unsure or straight out saying no, try wording it this way
'you love me right? you're marrying me. and in this moment you are deciding that you want to take care of me for the rest of my life. and im pretty much relying on that in order to be with you and raise this child. all im asking is that if you want to make this promise, make it even in terms of divorce.
it might help to have a settlement idea worked out already.
>>16546033
No, a PRENUP is a legal binding document.
>>16546039
Whoops Wrong peson
>>16545297
I'm very anti marriage, and hate the whole divorce gold digging thing, but what you are saying makes perfect sense, i wouldnt listen to the guys complaining here, none of them have been married or even make very much money.
explain that because of how 'traditional' this marriage is, that if HE changes his mind at some point, you essentially lose your 'job' your income. just say 'if you love me and want to take care of me forever, even if something bad happens between us, then please just make note of a monthly alimony amount we can agree on'.
>>16545676
>basically rich retards who have bad taste in women and dated golddiggers and as a consequence have tarnished views of women influencing his opinion
Sorry to spill this to you, but you are exactly the type of women they are talking about.
You are a gold digger, and no amount of inheritance will change this. You are clearly focused solely on the money, when you are 8 months pregnant. Don't you think most mothers will be thinking about their child, not fucking alimony of all things?
Your husband has bad taste in women, and you are a sponge with no qualities. You can pretend your hobbies are oh so relevant to your life and that this somehow makes you a better person, but the truth is you are an old stripper who probably met the Russian guy at a strip club and your lives will come to a sad end when you find out the man you're starting a family with is exactly the kind of person that you are: spoiled and immature.
>>16545313
when you are asking someone to give up their entire life to marry you and basically be absorbed in to yours and raise the kids while he works, you ARE entitled to that money.
its not just his. its a fucking partnership. its not like some modern marriage where two people who already have careers basically just move in together than hire a nanny.
this is a man who is taking a wife to be an actual fucking housewife. he cant just say 'lol changed my mine' and then not support her. hes making a vow to take care of her for the rest of his life. if he cheats, or simply grows tired of her, or any reason, he shoudl still support her.
im not s aying she should continue living lavishly, but he should be sending some sort of alimony.
I think OP left, which is smart
>>16545318
>you dont get paid if you get fired from your job
no, you go out and find a new job. presumably with in six months.
but if you are kicked out of your home because your husband cheated on you and decides hes no longer interested, you cant just walk around and find a new love of your life to take you in.
>you poor dear
stop being such a pretentious fuck.
jesus im not OP, i think marriage is stupid, and divorce is even more so, but you cant expect a woman to give up her entire life to be a housewife and not want some sort of insurance policy.
if THIS is the kind of life the husband wants, a woman who stays home to take care of kids, make dinner, clean and look good, if he wants to make a fucking marriage vow to take care of her for their entire lives
then he shouldnt be allowed to just say 'lol changed my mind' in ten years just because he didn't have good foresight.
this isn't like two people with established lives and careers just moving intogether.
>>16546055
>Two people who already have careers basically move in together and hire a nanny.
There are plenty of homes that do not work this way. Both my husband and I were raised in homes where the mother only was not working when the kids were infants. Once we were in school both of our mothers went back out into the workforce AND managed to put dinner on the table every night while keeping a mostly clean house [at least where guests would be].
Shit happens. If kids are her top priority as a homemaker, her post should have been "I want him to have a clause in the prenup where he still makes monthly payments for our kids." But no, OP asked for money for herself.
Hope she learns to prioritize the kids.
>>16546087
>There are plenty of homes that do not work this way. Both my husband and I were raised in homes where the mother only was not working when the kids were infants. Once we were in school both of our mothers went back out into the workforce AND managed to put dinner on the table every night while keeping a mostly clean house [at least where guests would be].
Exactly the same as my parents and my family.
Never understood families that can't cope with a few kids. Me and my wife do fine with full time jobs, we only need to pay for 3 hours of after school care until we get home at 5 to pick them up.
How fucking busy is your life that you can't do this? My mum even did salsa dancing after dinner on weekdays and still had time to tuck us in at 10pm.
>>16546098
My mother had time for a book club once a week and both were active Elders in church and managed to do that, which is a part time job in itself. And my sister is a nonverbal autistic with epilepsy that needed specialized attention.
Then again, my parents cooperated. We all cleared the table and scrubbed dishes. He'd do outside lawn care. My mother would do laundry. He would clean surfaces, she'd mop/sweep. He would do everything on the grill once a week or so [veggies too] and that would give Mom a break.
They also had a joint account for only bills and two separate accounts for everything else.
I never felt neglected. My mother was a substitute teacher so she always was leaving work the same time as my sister and I. If she ran over, my sister was in after school care that she needed for speech therapy and OT, and I was doing extra curriculars and sports.
My husband's mother worked for a breakfast/lunch only cafe, so she too was off work in time for him to come home.
Then again, this was the 90s, and parents didn't care about leaving their 8 year old child and 6 year old autistic daughter home alone for a couple of hours.
tl;dr
How do I get my apathetic, privileged hands into his hard earned money. Meanwhile I have no degree, no net worth, no salary, no ambition in life.
Hope this guy wakes the fuck up and throws you to the curb. IF he's not playing you alrdy.
Marriage is a fraud on equality.
If you're planning to get married and you're worried about your income then you have issues and shouldn't get married.
>>16545344
what the literal fuck am i reading.
>>16545814
>>16545820
this is exactly why I disagree with the spousal support clause. We have not known each other for a very long time (over a year but under 2), just long enough to know that we are extremely compatible with and happy around one another. But people can change. And I'm afraid this does put me in a very vulnerable position. Of course I wouldn't have agreed to marry him if I thought he were the type of person to become an alcoholic, engage in domestic abuse, cheat, etc etc. but like I said, people change. Ya think you know somebody...he thought he knew his brother but the dude ran off with a very expensive amount of property because he had blindly trusted him, and let him put things in his name. The only reason he never took his brother to court is because his father is a pastor and basically said no son of mine will do that to a family member. It's an extremely unfair situation, but my fiance valued family relations over $500,000. Another reason I'm marrying him. Although of course his trust is severely damaged. If his own favorite brother would do that to him, then surely a young impressionable woman cannot be trusted either. I totally understand this, but it still puts me in a really vulnerable position. Child support is not enough to supply my child with the best things in life (all organic food, the best education, etc. which we both want)
We did talk briefly and he was like "but I'd never do x, and of course I'd want my child to have the best so I'd just give it to you. I want to trust him, but what if alcohol or a snake-woman were to cloud his judgment and the law didn't require him to supply these things, and all I'd end up with were empty sentimental promises.
>>16545855
LOL someone sticking their tongue out in a silly photo makes them a douchebag. He was kissing me in one photo, then he stuck his tongue out in another. That is a beyond ridiculous assumption. You literally can form no idea of him from this thread alone, other than that he doesn't want to get screwed over financially again. He is the biggest gentlemen in the world, not the faux-fedora kind, the kind that holds the door for me not just in public but the front door to our house, and takes my shoes off for me when we get inside.
I believe true equality happens when we embrace our differences as men and women. His strengths are in making business deals, mine are in the fine details of life (which is why I'm going into linguistics and languages, I've always had an ear for the nuances in language)
>>16546256
Why don't you just start your career once the baby is 2 or 3 years old. Clearly he can afford child care and you don't have to worry about not making your own money.
Or if you want to sit around the house and dig your hands into his pockets that is cool too. Seems to be a trend these days.
>>16545981
I won't inherit until I am in my 30's, possibly late 30's, and even then I'm not just going to sell the property for quick cash, I'm going to develop it for future generations. Sure I'll make some short-term money off of it, but it's more of a long-term thing.
I am not "desperate to get his money", I am making sure I'm able to maintain a good (not just acceptable) quality of life for myself and my child in the event that he treats us horribly enough to warrant a divorce. Child support cannot be affected by a prenup, which is why I'm bringing up alimony.
I expected for him to have full ownership of his pre-marital property, and not for there to be a waiving of spousal support/alimony clause.
I will have a job- I will work for his company. But this still makes me rely on him. Yet I wouldn't give it up because it also brings us closer in a way, since I'd be really helping him out, and have a better understanding of his work, and also be making myself some spending money so he could continue to invest his personal income as he sees fit. Then I'll continue school, after which I will have hopefully been able to find myself a job separate from his company. Maybe I'll do both.
>>16546046
from what I understand, alimony is decided in court based off of his income and other factors.
When we first started discussing all this he was like "I want to make it so that if I leave you then you get half but if I you leave me you get nothing" and I'm just like babe that's not how it works. And the lawyer was like that's not how it works, and just wrote what HE thought would be appropriate, which was full of his opinions aka the golddigger and older man template I mentioned earlier, which is not representative of our situation.
Basically he doesn't understand the law and needs an outside opinion but since he's always been focused on work then partied on the weekends, he has no real friends or decent counsel, just shitty party friends who think all women are bad and out to get their money (and hey, I'm sure a lot of them are) but they don't know me and therefore I find it unfair that they're influencing his opinion.
>>16546052
I'm making a thread about a prenup, which is mostly about money, of course it's fucking focused on the money. That is ensuring a good quality of life for my child you moron. I could get a part time job or take some online classes but I am taking the full semester off to constantly breastfeed and devote all of my attention to my child. You have no idea what type of woman I am, and are extremely idiotic for thinking that you can judge the content of my character based off of one board, especially one that is about a prenup clause
You sound really bitter, enjoy being single
>>16546316
Basicly it has to be set to where if you split you agree that he will give you one of the cars, a % of the savings, shit like that.
A prenub can cap alimony and I believe void you from it for a lump sum.
Really if he wants to protect the bulk of his assets he needs to sit down and be like I'll give you this, this, and this and that is a done deal outside of child support of the kid (s) are still under 18
>>16546336
That is what child support is about, not a prenub.
No prenub can void or set child support, that is up to a court.
>>16546055
I agree with this, which is why I said I do not believe I am entitled to his money (as in, the law usually awards half, and I am signing a prenup because I do not believe I am entitled to all the things he busted his ass for before he met me) I simply believe that me and my child are entitled to a good standard of living if he flips the switch.
>>16546233
he can just take that part out
>>16546058
I expected a lot of these bitter reactions, I am able to pick through the trash.
I was busy taking two consecutive final exams. Aced the fuck out of them.
I have some...internal motivation
BADUM TSHHH
>>16546276
I was always planning to. I never said I wasn't. You all would just rather assume that I am a worthless golddigger. How sad.
>>16546339
I think this sounds like a good compromise, capping the alimony. Can you also limit the time it lasts for? I think that'd be fair, since I'll eventually become completely self-sufficient.
I don't need a car, he is putting the next car (an SUV, since all we have is unsafe sports cars) in my name. Basically it's a marital gift, which is defined by the prenup to be my separate property.
>>16546344
I know that, and child support only affects the child's care. If I am living in poverty and miserable then I will not be at my best for the sake of my child. Plus I've heard child support can be insufficient. I don't want a merely acceptable standard of living, I want a good one. Feeding my child only organic shit, top level education, etc.
>>16546374
Spouse support is time limited
Alimony is until you remarry or if you try to fuck the system and he proves you are living with someone.
>>16546382
Yeahhh, you get that out of him because of what he earns, but God damn you sound stuck up as fuck.
See, you seem to already be looking as if this is done as in you are divorcing, not getting married.
God help this guy.
>>16545238
prenups get thrown out of court like 70% of the time.
>>16546698
It is time dependent and how good the prenub is.
Also you will have to fight the prenub to get it thrown out. If they were worthless people wouldn't ever get them
>>16545344
>By the time I'm his age I will have more money than he does now from my family inheritance alone.
So what the fuck do you need his money for?
>woman logic
>>16545249
My god that burn. Made my day anon.
>>16545249
you mean I'm not entitled to his income for my entire life! patriarchy!
>>16545344
If you choose to give up your life for someone, then you choose to accept the costs for that decision. As his wife you are entitled to his time and affection, nothing more.
>>16546766
>by the time I am his age
you answered your own question
>>16546696
preparing for possibilities in the future, how stupid.
>>16546793
reminds me of the black guys in my middle/high school that would yell oooooh buuuurn at the most remedial insult.
Bitterness doesn't phase me, his misguided notions of who I am are inconsequential and irrelevant to who I actually am, you see
also I find it funny how 99% of the time I hear the word "patriarchy" it's being used by some butthurt dude along with notions of strawman feminism
>>16546836
I kind of agree, yet at the same time since he's protecting himself with the prenup, he's not making himself vulnerable like I am which makes for an unfair situation. And I mean just in terms of waiving spousal support, as I've already stated numerous times that I think it's really important that he has full legal ownership of his premarital properties.
>>16547587
He's protecting himself and you're being made vulnerable? Are you not allowed to work? Make your own fucking money if it's so important to you. You sure are focused on his wallet. HIS wallet. You admit he has money and you don't. You think putting a ring on means he owes you?
Legally you would leave with what you came with plus anything stipulated in the document. If you want something, put it in. But no, you aren't guaranteed a penny in most states nor should you be.
>>16547532
Haha wut. Like, your story makes no sense bruh. Why would a rich Russian want you?
I mean, have you seen Russian girls? 100% serious.
>>16545297
You can not throw all your eggs in one basket Op. I am a female myself who is also engaged to a well off man difference is I never put my goals away for him. We are equals. Brainstorm jobs you can do part time that way if something goes wrong you will have 10 years of experince in one job plus your relationship will be healthier because you will not be purely focusing on him and the baby.
>>16547532
Well from reading this thread it sounds like you're wanting more than what child support is meant for. You'd get a good sum in it since he makes a lot, but if you are looking for that to really subsidize your whole life then you're looking at the wrong aspect. That is more of alimony and division of property, which needs to be set forth in the prenub.
Child support is also based on how time is split with each parent, and since you have a vagina you are almost guaranteed the controlling part.
It is rather simple, you need to figure out what YOU want in this prenub and have it drafted in, then he reviews it and you repeat this process until you both are in agreement. Then you sing it and get hitched.
>I'd be waiving my right to spousal support.
oh boy
he dun goofed
this line alone is enough to get the prenup thrown out
let this be a lesson to you all
Lol this bitch thinks she has all the power but the fact of the matter is she's 8 months pregnant and has stated she desperately needs marriage or she'll lose her inheritance. Hopefully he refuses to marry her
>>16545310
bullshit read what you said . you're already planning it lol.
>>16545238
Most prenups aren't worth the paper they're written on, FYI. Any halfway decent lawyer can get most or all of them thrown out in court.
>>16549858
Agreed.
I actually took the time to read through this thread and all I got was $$ in her eyes.
>>16549909
A half decent lawyer will know the law in the state regarding prenubs as well as how to kill any loophole that can get them tossed out.
Be smart, it is your life that you are talking about. You have got far too much at stake if viewed from a longer term perspective. You need an attorney on your side in this situation. At a minimum there should be a provision for the judge to determine alimony if ever necessary. Also, you should stipulate that at the time of separation, marital assets, less the amount of initial assers that he committed to the marriage, should be split 50/50 less. If he won't agree, walk away from the marriage.
>>16550322
But then she's left with a kid and her wealthy family apparently are going to write her out of their will for having a kid out of wedlock kek
>I'd be waiving my right to spousal support.
Something that shouldn't exist in the first place?
> if I wanted a divorce because of that I'd be completely on my own, with only our divided marital property, and my small income that I had garnered working for him
You mean you'd only be reasonably better off then you would be if you weren't with him?
>(plus in the event of a divorce I'd no longer be working for him and have any income
Get a job on your own merits then?
>No alimony payments on his part. Is this even legal? Would this prenup even stand in court?
unfortunately probably not. Such is the society we live in.
>I mean isn't the law super accommodating for women? I'm 11 years younger (21), 8 months pregnant, and a full-time student. Wouldn't those factors alone be enough to throw out a prenup in court? All I'd have to say is that I was under duress/pressure, right?
you could lie and take advantage of a crummy system yes, or you could just KYS
>>16545238
Which I knew your man. I'd warn him of what clusterfuck is getting into.
If THIS is your concern you're in it for the wrong reason. Marriage isn't an investment. It's a commitment of love.
Hopefully he'll get it when you bring an attorney into the matter. That's a pretty huge red blinking flag. GOLD DIGGER STRAIGHT AHEAD!
>>16545238
Kek, you're going to be out on the streets in a few years time when he replaces you with someone younger and hotter, and you'll deserve it. Greedy cunt.
>>16545344
>stripping at a high class joint
desu you are lucky he even gave you a child and is considering marrying you.
He would still have to pay for the child in case of a divorce but you aren't entitled to any of his stuff.
Show him this thread and let's hear what he thinks about this.
get used to it OP, sounds like HE WILL cheat on you sooner or later, DEAL WITH IT good luck, just hope he is not the one who gets involved with a bittch that makes him divorce your ass
>>16545238
you should be saying if you love me why dont you trust me? real married couples dont have prenups its only been since the 80s.
lets face facts here if either one files divorce you are on your own. prenup is like saying im going to keep all the money that ive hoarded even after i get rid of you, if you do scratch your name on the prenup have a back up plan just in case.
He's probably getting the idea already.
This is a guy that have several businesses. This guy is smart and he knows the game.
It's like the police. They don't look what's inside your bag when they search you. They look at your reaction when they look in your bag.
It might very well be the case that he presented the prenup to see your true motives. If you cared about the content you probably cared more for his value than for him.
>>16547716
yes Russian girls are beautiful
but I'm not bad looking by any means
posting more pics would derail this thread tho
