To any anons who attempted suicide in the past - does the urge to do it again ever go away? If not, how are you dealing with it?
>>16544560
Yes.
I was young and wasn't willing to take responsibility for my life. Now that I am I can't even imagine anything that could make me even consider it.
It's crossed my mind a few times since. Only when things get hard.
The key is seeking help when needed and understanding how much you hurt yourself and others when you attempt it.
After crying wolf a dozen times or so you will isolate yourself guaranteed. Being institutionalized can become additive for people.
It goes away, but the weird thing is it's pretty slow and you won't notice it going away until it's practically gone and you're like "huh, i haven't thought about that much at all in the past year."
it's hard to notice yourself NOT thinking about something, know what I mean? be patient. it sucks donkey dick, but be patient.
>>16544578
Bad advice, relying on other people is a short term treatment that makes you dependent on other people.
In my experience it doesn't go away completely. I used to be incredibly low, probably from the age of 14 through to 22/23, tried to hang myself and ended up cutting my wrist open. While I have come to terms with the issues that made me feel the way I did, I still occasionally feel the same old emptiness creeping back. I no longer feel the need to reach for a blade because I accept my past and understand how it has affected my personality but it definitely has not gone away.
I'm 28 now btw.
>>16544583
Yeah, but it's been 6 years, I think it's about time for it to slowly go away. Thanks.
>>16544578
I've kinda had bad experience with various shrinks, so it's hard to even think about seeking help.
>>16544606
if it's really been six years
a) keep giving it time, seriously, even more than six years (assuming you really haven't seen ANY change)
b) you might just have to battle with it on SOME level your entire life, just in a diminished capacity, lots of people have mental health problems that don't just miraculously 'go away' even with a ton of time, you might just have to take active steps to live with suicidal thoughts the way other people have to live with schizophrenia or things of that nature
>>16544571
Sounds a bit harsh put like that, there are plenty of people who develop suicidal thoughts/ tendencies when they are older and I don't think it is totally down to taking responsibility for your life. Feeling like your existence is pointless or invalid can be a consequence of social pressures and external factors not just because of your own self image. I don't think anyone who really contemplates suicide is stupid or ignorant because of it, without being in that persons shoes we have no way of knowing how they feel and should therefore assume they are affected far more than you or I can understand.
>>16544617
It has been a long 6 years, I've been through a lot of self discovery and took a lot of time to try and understand myself and others. Once I began to see the world from others point of view and not just focus on my own ego and feelings things started to get much better.
Things that caused me to feel completely worthless and empty no longer have the same effect because I try and keep in mind the root cause rather than the outcome. Sympathy and compassion for others helps to. Always trying to understand how someone else feels and the root of their anger or pain means I no longer internalise and blame myself.
All that said it doesn't change the fact I feel like I am worthless, life wouldn't be made any worse if I didn't exist but for a very few people and time would heal those wounds. I don't kill myself because I want things to get better and the only way for that to happen is to keep trying.
>>16544560
For me it became less of an urge and more of an afterthought, like I could do it if I wanted to. I suppose the first time I tried kind of made me truly realise that I still have control over my life.
I still get urges though, and sometimes I still spend a good amount of time daydreaming how I would like to do it. But I feel like I'm too tired or defeated to do anything, and that includes killing myself. I suppose it's like being stuck in limbo
>>16544560
Tried to drown myself a few years back, but fortunately some people saw me and I got rescued.
It pops up now and again, but I either excercise or drink it away.
I'm 36. Last suicide attempt was in 2009. Always been like this since 15, but only after tour to Iraq did it flare up again. Haven't sought treatment since. Kinda proud of that because I've taken pride in surviving suicidal thoughts and ideations. I get those feelings mainly when I am in a deep rut at work or when I feel stuck (very stuck) in life. Self reflection was a start but not a solution. I took to seeking happiness through other people but felt more miserable and empty because I still felt alone around people. Took me four years to finally find a purpose, it took two more years to find someone I loved more than the desire to quit so easily at life. I'm proud of "overcoming" suicidal tendencies and am learning to live with it and respect it as my own trait. I'll always be "sick" like that but at least it doesn't stop me from living my life under my conditions any more. We forget we have far more power in this world than we allow ourselves to realize. The next time you have thoughts of dying, just leave the place you're at and discovery the world. There are people out there going through much worse and still pushing forward no matter what. I watched a sunrise from the building I wanted to leap from and felt freedom (not fear). My numb went away. Stare into the abyss. And smile. You're bigger than your problems.
>>16545350
Would you say going into the army helped you feel more fulfilled?
I'm a 20 year old Brit currently in university and I box on the side in shows, but both don't do the job for filling the void where I imagine bashing my head in against the side of a building.
