I'm basically incapable of doing more than one thing with my life at once. I cannot have a hobby and make it anything less than the focus of my entire life.
It was competitive gaming for about 2 years, then I quit after I finally hit my peak. After that, I went to uni and I am 2.5 years in now.
Well, it's happening again. About two years ago, I became obsessed with spoken word poetry. I spend at least 8 hours every single day writing poetry and performing it in front of the mirror. Poetry is all I think about now; I'll be walking down the street, taking a final, hell... anything, and I'll be thinking about clever ways to rhyme and how I would perform it instead.
The problem? I'm 24 years old now. I'm 2.5 years into uni. For one thing, I don't care about my studies anymore. I study Economics; I am not exceptional at it by any means, nor do I enjoy it. My grades are slipping with a 3.0GPA and 5 withdraws. I'm 10k in debt from student loans as well. Also, I'm older. That's a big deal.
My time is running out. It is inevitable that this fairy tale I live in will all come crashing down at some point if I don't do something. My only fallback is waiting tables, as I've had a few years experience doing that; but I'd sooner put a bullet through my head than do that until I die. I desperately want to pursue this poetry thing in some way, shape, or form. I've put at least 10000 hours into this, and that is a very conservative estimate.
Worse yet, there is no where to turn for help. My family would look at me as if I'm clinically insane if they knew this is how I was spending my time.
Any help, words of advice or wisdom... anything would help me right now.
Pic related; it's my last girlfriend. She left me because of all of this, because I am "insane".
POETRY IS DEAD, YOU CANT HAVE A CAREER OUT OF IT
did she drank all that beer by herself?
>>16543598
i understand your struggle i was much the same way, but i cooled off a bit to the point where i can have a job, and see friends once or twice a week. thats about the extent of it, almost every other waking moment is spent on the hobby.
only reason im even on 4chan is cuz my video is rendering.
>>16543642
>>16543598
like you i cant even maintain relationships in hobby.
ive been technially single for 3 years. every time i get into that 'fwb about to be dating' sort of relationship i end up breaking things off when i start filming my next project, even if its just a short.
>>16543620
I realize that. Music is basically the new poetry, and I have been practicing a lot over the last year doing poetry behind a beat.
I really, really hate to admit this, but I enjoy freestyle rapping a lot. I go into the city every single weekend and hang around a park popular for that, and it's just some of the most fun I've ever had in my life. I fucking love this shit so much, man, you have no idea.
Maybe I won't be involved as a poet or musician myself in the long run (I'm 24, and that's probably too old), but I need to be involved with this scene somehow; even if it's a behind the scenes position.
I don't care about anything aside from this poetry thing. I care about it more than my own life.
>>16543648
>>16543642
Well, I've never had a problem making friends. At least, not since I was about 18. My strongest characteristic as a person is most definitely my charisma and that runs in my family. There's a reason I work as a waiter when I need to make money; I'm good at it.
However, I have major communication issues that you can probably relate to. If I'm working on something, I will simply just ignore my phone. It often times takes me over 24 hours to respond to a simple text message, which is absurd in this day and age.
>>16543672
thats not a big deal. if people know you aren't a phone guy, they wont be mad. the only people who ever get mad at me about answering texts are people im seeing, and if they are too childish to realize i cant sit there and text all day, then they are too childish to keep seeing.
just explain 'im not really a phone guy' and that you prefer to actually hang out in person when you can.
i can understand the issues socially. because of my hobby i have a hard time making friends and maintaining them. i have 3, all of them I've met because of my hobby and the bulk of our hangouts are just us working on a new project together. in off time i do meet to play board games and such, but i really cant connect well with people who dont enjoy the work i do.
im not sure what to tell ya other than find other things that are worth dedicating your time to. my current job is something i truly enjoy so its kidn of like having a second hobby for me.
>>16543628
The only person I've ever met in my life that might be more crazy than myself is her. The things this crazy bitch would do are the kinds of things that I will be telling my kids one day. How we hooked up initially really set the tone for everything.
To answer your question, we drank that between two people; her and I. She must have had at least 80% that.
>>16543681
I absolutely must do something with this poetry thing. Right now, it is my only talent aside from my "charisma" (which is not a hard skill in any capacity aside from selling things). You must understand that I cannot simply devote 10,000+ hours into something and not do SOMETHING with it! Like I said, my time is running out. I'm 24 years old and I will be 25 in April. If I cannot make something out of this by my 26th birthday, I really worry about what's going to happen to me over the long term.
>>16543712
you really cant though. there is no real career field for spoken poetry. it sucks cuz it sounds like an awesome hobby, but thats all it is, unless you want to get some sort of teaching degree and teach poetry to a class, but that sounds wayyyy to niche to get you very far.
your best bet is to keep doing it as a hobby, but find some line of work you can obsess about like i have.
Yo OP, you are just another goyim,
Looking for meaning in a poem.
One time I cam to an exam,
In econ 505,
I couldn't come to class to save my life,
I drew some demand curves and a line,
Got a B, it all turned out fine.
