I've been told to develop interesting interests to be more attractive to potential partners and friends.
I've been thinking of re-learning french.
Is halfway shittily speaking a foreign language an interesting skill?
Not really, because it doesn't leave room for another person. Relationships are built on SHARED experience. Interests are a context for those to happen.
Now if you used French to, say, travel, then it would be a good foundation. But the worthwhile interest there would be travel--the thing you can share--and not "I know French."
>>16542689
So if I can vaguely understand books written in french, I'm still boring and unlikeable?
>>16542685
No, not really.
This guy >>16542689 pretty much summed it up. Sure, it's great that you know french, but being able to play the guitar, or paint, something you guys can SHARE would be wayyyyyyy better.
>>16542700
I can draw. My hands are too clunky for music, and I'm too old to learn it. How do you share painting?
>>16542695
You're boring vis a vis other people. You reading a book has no impact on the lives of those whom you tell "I've read a book." Shared experience is a pretty simple concept, bud. Google says it's "expérience partagée" in French if that helps you understand.
>>16542709
I'm not trying to be obnoxious with trying to learn a language. I was just told that learning a skill would be good and languages are hard so that would be a skill that takes effort, and therefore valuable. I'm sorry if it annoyed you.
Now that I think of it, my english annoys people as well, so even if I did manage to actually learn french, it'd just be one more useless trick I can't show anyone because that's obnoxious.
To be honest I have nothing in common with absolutely anyone.
What kind of experiences do people usually have?
>>16542716
>I'm sorry if it annoyed you.
I'm not annoyed. I just don't know many different ways to say the same simple point. The key words are shared experience. "Stuffs you do with other peoples at the places?"
>What kind of experiences do people usually have?
The cool thing about worthwhile experiences are that they're largely unusual. People routinely sit on a couch or chair every day but that's not worthwhile because it's so routine. The point is to share uncommon, novel experiences. Do something that's not usually done.
>>16542728
So you're not talking about, like, relatable experiences, things that everyone has gone through, the I-know-that-feel -matters, but actual experiences with the people themselves?
So in order to get people into spending time with me, I first need to get them to spend time with me?
>>16542732
>So in order to get people into spending time with me, I first need to get them to spend time with me?
In order to get people to spend time with you, you need to have elements of your lifestyle which you can invite them to share with you. The second half of your sentence should have read:
>I first need to give them attractive invitations.
you'd spend hundreds of hours just to have a simple trick you could pull out once in a blue moon (you definitely don't want to be that guy who tries to speak french all the time). if you spent all that time being around people you'd do much better.
>>16542742
I'm about to move to a different city soon, and hopefully start school here. I expect to have an opportunity to meet new people, preferably some of my own age. The problem is I don't know how to behave around them since I've never had any friends.
what do you mean by attractive invitations?
>>16542746
I intended to be that guy who listens to weird music. I don't know why but I really like french rap.
>>16542747
>The problem is I don't know how to behave around them since I've never had any friends.
the only way to learn is to try. you must have had at least some social interaction in your life thus far.
>>16542747
I mean invitations to do uncommon, novel and interesting things with you. Let me try tying this all together with the initial topic:
In practicing French, you've encountered material dealing with French food. In this new city you find that there's a restaurant specializing in haute cuisine or French-fusion. Though learning French is not itself an interest which is attractive, the interest in exploring your French culinary curiosity is something fairly uncommon (totally novel if it's a new restaurant) and able to be shared with others. The interest becomes the basis for a shared experience via the attractive invitation:
>I'm thinking of having dinner at a French restaurant this weekend. Would you like to join me?
>>16542760
I have, with adults, with girls, with women. I'm still pretty sure guys my age will rip me into pieces.
You know what happens when you bring a dog you've never taken anywhere to a dog park?
That sort of thing.
>>16542765
I know this city. It does not have a french restaurant. It has little to no means for entertainment.
Most 18-25-year-olds who still bother to go out either go clubbing or drive around the city blasting music with their cars. I don't know what kind, I can only hear the bass to the outside.
>>16542777
>It has little to no means for entertainment.
Considering that food is not entertainment--unless one has an eating disorder--you've not recognized that "novel experiences" needn't be solely focused on entertainment venues.
>Most 18-25-year-olds who still bother to go out either go clubbing or drive around the city
Most don't. Seriously, this is just bad demographics.
I'm sorry but I have to throw in the towel here. I can explain my advice well enough for you to understand it, but I can't work with your worldview as far as putting it into practice.
>>16542788
I'm sorry I'm stupid. I know it frustrates people a lot.
>>16542795
First of all get that self-pitying bullshit out of here.
>>16542842
Sorry. I just keep insulting people with any idea how I do it. They just get mad and everyone agrees it's my fault, and not knowing what I did makes it worse.
have you been tested for aspergers/autism?
>>16542903
Yes. I marginally don't qualify for asperger's. I had a handful of the traits but not enough, like I had 8/15 and you need 10/15 to get a diagnosis, or something like that.
>>16542912
Kill yourself.
