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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.
>Frog
Also piss off.
(redoing from last thread which got full)
Girls, how would you react if your mutual interest who is over a foot taller than you gave you a hug and you felt his boner press up to your boob? I'm trying to play it off like I had my phone in my pocket but wondering if I should just tell the truth. We're both into each other but no kissing as of yet so I don't want to rush things. Still I'm kinda curious how she might react and just remembering it really turns me on
edit: i got the response about moving things along faster instead of playing games, thanks. my question still stands
>>16542443
She knows it was your boner.
Girl anons, I'm asking you this question.
Back in late October I asked this girl out in my class. She said no, and that she's not looking for a romantic relationship right now, and that she wants to be friends. I get that what she meant was that she just didn't want to go out with me and was putting me down lightly. But, just recently, I've noticed her looking at me in class a lot lately and when I look back, she turns away. We still talk and we're still friends, but she's really quiet and shy, so I can't really get a read on her. So, what does it mean that she's looking at me?
>>16542450
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
>>16542452
>Stop overthinking it.
I overthink everything, so thanks.
Fellow guys
I'm the same dude who posted on here like 2 nights ago regarding shivering/shaking while being lewd with girl through text.
I was sitting here thinking about it. But why is it that if i am being lewd with a girl I really like I don't shake? But if I'm being lewd with a girl that I connect well with, but sexually am not super interedted I shake like in freezing in the Arctic. But I'm not actually cold.
Why is this
>>16542443
She knew it was a boner. If you're still talking that means she didn't care/was maybe even into it. Stop overthinking it and just keep flirting, you'll eventually get there if you're both into interested.
>>16542450
Well if time has passed and she said she wasn't looking for a relationshit in the past, maybe she is ready for one now. You are kind of reading into stupid bullshit like "oh wow she was looking at me" (spoiler alert: people look at people a lot, especially if they know each other), so just suck it up and be like "Hey, you know how I asked you out a few months ago? How would you feel about getting coffee on Friday?" and you'll find out if she's interested or not.
Had 2 dates with a girl last week. It was so-so and didnt really feel like dates idk, but she told me at the end of the 2nd one that we should see eachother this week too
Should I ask her when she's free, or do I wait for her to take initiative this time around to see if she really is interested? idfk
>>16542463
shivering, shaking
fluttering, almost faking
tectonic plates do cause trembling
when they collide
>>16542450
what does it mean when she's looking at me
tell me, tell me, you have better eyes with which to see
>>16542513
we're not tectonic plates
but rather houseboats
lost afloat
circling the moat
have you seen the castle?
>>16542522
10/10 geological advice
>>16542522
>what does it mean when she's looking at me
>tell me, tell me, you have better eyes with which to see
She kissed me goodbye, saying that we'll see each other soon.
Should I wait a bit before casually texting her?
>>16542587
does my girlfriend appreciate
mystery or forwardness?
I've never met a girl who has never cheated or would never cheat in any circumstance. Girls:
>What's your opinion on the female cheating? >Have you cheated? If so, how has it affected your life and why did you do it?
>If you've never cheated, would you in any particular circumstance?
A questions for the ladies...
back in my early college days I was very promiscuous. I don't think that that would bother most girls but I even fucked fat chicks, women in their 40's, a woman in her early 50's and even a prostitute.
Would gf think less of me if she found out?
Women, what has third-way feminism done for you?
>>16542601
Every woman is going to feel differently about this, but it would probably bother a lot of women, especially the prostitute thing. Gross.
>>16542601
Tell me, femanon
Am I going to fall into the trap
of marrying someone
who finds offense in my bedroom rap sheet?
>>16542599
It's horrible and there is no excuse for it.
I have never and would never. It sounds like you've had bad luck of meeting really shitty people.
>>16542601
>>16542615
Like the other anon said, everyone is different. I wouldn't date a guy who wasn't a virgin for example. You avoid this by being open and honest early on. That way you find someone actually compatible with you.
>>16542601
If I'm really into you, I wouldn't care
can't say the same for other women tho
>>16542603
Absolutely nothing
>>16542603
despite hearing about 3rd wave feminism over and over again on 4chan, I've never heard about it IRL.
sometimes I wonder, is every on 4chan living in some sort of hippe comune ?
So i asked this girl out over text she said she couldn't hang out and gave me a big response on why, so i asked her maybe next time? She said "yeah definitely ".
So i was wondering if she is turning me down gently or if she really wanted to hang out but couldn't.
Hi everyone, I'll try to make it quick
>Just met a girl through a good friend of mine
>Met and talked twice at parties, pretty much know she thinks I'm a cool guy
>We share some interests (even some kinky stuff)
>I'd like to contact her
>I know her name on FB (group convo)
>Dont wan't to talk on FB, prefer texting
Wat do ? Guys, how would you approach this ? Girls, how would you want to be approached in this situation ? THANKS
>>16542658
there is no difference
between texting and facebook messenger
and yet people insist
on creating conflict where there is none
>>16542657
she's turning you down lad
>>16542658
You shouldn't be "talking" at all. Youv'e already talked before. You've also done stuff together (the parties). Why would you now take a step back from shared activities to simple conversation?
Use FB to invite her out. Easy peasy.
>>16542639
Perhaps there are some people on 4chan who've read magazines, newspapers, and websites in order to educate themselves about history and current social events because they have intellectual curiosity about the world they're living in?
>>16542687
is it really a major thing though?
It's HUGE on 4chan but invisible IRL to me
>>16542666
Well it's just that I think that texting is more personal, but that's just me
Also, congrats on the trips
>>16542668
OK let's pretend that I man up and invite her out over FB. What do I say ? Should I keep it really casual like just asking her "Hey wanna go for a drink ?" or should I start with something else ?
Sorry guys I'm kind of a social retard...
>>16542687
I know a lot about the SJW on the internet, but I've never seen any outrageous stuff being done offline.
Well, I also live in a conservative place, but still.
>>16542666
Really? It seemed like her reason not to hang out were legitimate, but hey im not exactly being objective here.
>>16542693
>What do I say?
"Hey I'm going to [place/activity] on [day]. Wanna come?"
Be a little more particular than leaving it entirely for her to decide. This isn't an act of servitude toward her. You're simply inviting her to participate in your life.
How do I get my older sister to have sex with me?
>>16542708
One time I saw this video where a guy slips his sister and mom an aphrodisiac. If you search for "Family Love Aphrodisiac Part 1" on your porn search engine of choice, you should be able to find it. Hope that helps.
>>16542703
That would be a great idea if I actually had anything planned. But since finals are coming up, there's no opportunity for me to invite her "to something". It has to be the regular "date" thing. So yeah, I'm pretty much fucked I guess. But thanks man
>>16542694
I have an IRL friend who literally believes black people cannot be racist, and that women cannot be sexist. It's rather disheartening.
She's the very definition of a tumblrite - white, upper middle class, and thinks arguing with feelings is valid. In fact, she said she didn't believe logic based on a hypothetical situation was a valid form of argument.
It frustrates me to no end. Luckily we don't have out much anymore.
>>16542723
How about studying together?
Both of you can do some review and ask each other questions.
>>16542723
>That would be a great idea if I actually had anything planned.
So your idea of a girlfriend is "I'm going to commit to someone with whom I do nothing, because I always do nothing?" If you want your future SOs to stick around, you better have stuff going on in your life. You don't need to be a jetsetter or anything. Just go out for food or entertainment once or twice a week.
Shit, you even mentioned going to a couple parties. Is that all you've done for the past few months? Two parties? Something makes me doubt that.
You need a life, Mr. Adult Man. It's a part of who you are as a person: what you do with your time. Again, doesn't have to be complicated. People have turned walking into a lifestyle element. They just use the fancy word "hiking."
>>16542731
See I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses or anything, but that won't work either. I'm a psych major and she just started studying economy. We only talked twice, I don't think that I'll be able to pull off the "wanna study together" thing without her thinking I'm an idiot.
>>16542735
>If you want your future SOs to stick around, you better have stuff going on in your life.
I do, it's just that finals are up in two weeks and I don't think that I can afford going to parties anymore. A cool casual date would have been OK, a party's just not a good idea.
I know what you're saying though, and I agree. But it doesn't really apply to this situation since I'm going to have to study twelve hours a day for the next two weeks.
>>16542623
The person who once loved and protected me for seven years started cutting me off from sex after my second baby. And anticipating all the hotdog down the hallway/you got fat responses we had fantastic sex and I was a size 2 right afterward and believe me he would tell me if my pussy got blown out lol. No, he just went cold on me. I know he doesn't have a gf b/c he's so unhappy. Honestly I wouldn't mind a gf it's normal for a middle-aged guy to want that. It's healthy in a way. But he cut me off and it hurt so bad I was suicidal. But I knew I had to live for my kids and so I started pursuing my own thing. And after 2 years of no sex yes I did start seeing other men. And yes I felt guilty but I dont' any more. Cutting someone off from sex in order to punish/control them is violating marriage vows every bit or worse than cheating.
So yeah there call me a whore and a piece of shit. Maybe I am. But fuck it YOLO.
Where are the chat rooms nowadays? Haven't been flirting online for almost two decades. Do they even still exist or is it all about Facebook linked dating sites now? I'm a dude BTW and not keen on meeting new people irl just yet
>>16542755
>A cool casual date would have been OK
I say this light-heartedly but there's an ounce of truth in it: I studied biochem, you're studying psych. Let's cut the bullshit here. I had enough time away from crystallizing proteins and editing genomes to maintain a personal life which could support "casual dates." You, studying psychology, definitely have enough time as well. Put down the fucking books, Freud, and have a pleasant afternoon with the girl. We're talking two hours here doing something fun. You can do it.
>>16542771
Interpals.net if you're into foreigners. I'm talking to 2 really cute QTs. 1 from Italy who I'm meeting in 2 weeks and 1 from Russia
>>16542771
>>>/soc/
>>16542770
Mama, if you want to live for your children
You have to see reason
This is treason
You'd be better of leaving
>>16542692
In all fairness I learned about this in college.
In the '90's when it was going on. Essentially the jist is this: 2nd wave fought the battle for reproductive rights. 3rd wave were the girls born after Roe v. Wade and so we took that for granted. But the middle-aged 2nd wave feminists started getting REA:L fucking uptight about sex (ironically!) when we were in our 20's and slut-shamed the shit out of us and started suing the shit out of everybody for sexual harrassment. And so there was this natural backlash among some and the 3rd wave was more about becoming (god do I hate this phrase but) 'Sex-Positive."
Like I said, I learned about this in college and in general life experiences. If you are in your 20's you're as of this very moment engaged in the 4th wave which hasn't really manifested much yet. Takes a while.
>>16542770
What he did was terrible too but that's still not an excuse. You should have tried your best to resolve it with communication and hard work, and then made an agreement to separate if that didn't work.
Would it be fucked up to ask my girlfriend to wear a cat collar or a choker in bed?
We've been dating for a 9 months. I think she owns a couple.
>>16542782
Again, I hear you. But my daughters want me living with them. They are adamant about this. Still, I know it would be much better if I had my own place. It's just -- frankly -- expensive as hell to get divorced and there's no reason to pay lawyers a ton of money and waste fossil fuels by having me get a separate residence. We're totally estranged. But that happens. I want to wake up in the same house as my children EVERY day, not just every other week.
>>16542806
Asking isn't fucked up. Handling her answer poorly would be, though.
>>16542775
OK sorry I didn't mean it that way. English isn't my first language, hence the struggle. I meant that going on a casual date would BE OK if she agreed to it. So that's what I'm going for then ? A casual date ? The good old "Hey wanna meet up sometime next week for drinks ?" thing it is then.
>>16542806
That's hilarious. Do it
>>16542806
You're joking, right?
>>16542808
Honesty is a need
Trust me: in this, take the lead
Come clean, what you're doing is obscene
>>16542819
Of course that's okay. My point about having a life, however, is that you can't sacrifice an entire lifestyle over the needs of schoolwork. Right now the entire extent of your life which I know about is that you:
>attend school
>go to parties
>go out for drinks
Does that sound like you've left yourself enough space to develop a proper adult lifestyle? I know you're still a student but you have adult freedoms. Use them. Even when you have exams coming up, force yourself to make plans once a week to do something interesting. It can still be casual. Just do something semi-unique, something which defines you as an individual, something which represents personal taste. THAT is the kind of thing you should have going on and THAT is the best kind of date to invite someone to share with you.
>>16542812
oh man i'm sorry but "handling her answer poorly" just opens up so many possibilities… i'm sorry but that's funny
>>16542806
There's nothing fucked up about that, you simply have a fetish. Introduce it by asking her if she's got any (we all know she does, we all do). If she doesn't tell you straight away, ask her if she'd be OK with you sharing yours. Don't MAKE it creepy, KEEP it healthy. :-)
>>16542404
Both genders:
When is it okay to buy a girl a gift?
>>16542827
So I got a fucking Greek Chorus behind me now. Badass.
>Stop overthinking this
>Think positive
>Ask them out.
>Anywhere outside.
>As long as they aren't insecure about it.
this fucking normie board
>>16542837
I'd say if she's family or very close friend during a holiday or birthday, your girlfriend whenever, or to return the favor if she got you something.
>>16542837
Every single day. Little things. But… I had someone do that to me and it got more than a little creepy. So just don't come to her house at midnight and stick the gifts in the mail slot in the door (giving me a near heart attack!)
>>16542847
>>16542849
How about a flirt? How well do you need to know each other?
(pure interest)
>>16542845
What happens on other boards? Are they really technical or is it the general spirit of the posts that's not normie?
Do you mind explaining?
Is it rude to ask someone you're seeing if they've ever cheated on a past partner? If not when's a good point because that doesn't seem like a solid first date convo.
>>16542853
Not well at all. You can even be in the friendzone with this one bro. Just make the gifts small and sort of funny OR even better practical like notice if she needs something like a new umbrella. That's a real good gift that shows you care. And if the girl doesn't like it, she's not worth the effort.
I'm involved with an aspie girl and we got along great, but she's gotten very busy and distant just before I wanted to make it serious. I put up with her sudden coldness for a long time because she's not just any girl, but recently I finally confronted her about it and asked her for her feelings.
She completely dodged the question, instead focusing on how busy she still is and it's wearing her down. I know it's a big deal to her and I feel for her, but she still gave me nothing to work with.
That's what's wearing me down. Can I still blame this on her Aspergers? Does that change anything about how I should deal with it? Come to think of it, how do you actually deal with this?
>>16542866
Buy her drinks when you're out and get her some weed if she need it.
>>16542829
I really don't want to be taking up any more of your time with my bullshit man, you sound like a really cool dude but there's a few things about me that make it really difficult for me to have those kinds of things going on. I'm currently seeing a psychologist for anxiety issues and addiction. The time I don't spend working, I spend taking drugs, sleeping and worrying. The whole point of me asking her out is that I thought that if I started "dating" someone, I would become more active. It's basically what you describe but upside down. Again, sorry man I guess this must be pretty frustrating to you.
>>16542853
Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable receiving gifts outside of the situations that I mentioned.
>>16542873
Yeah. I'm saying that NOW b/c that's where I'm at now but -- okay I'm giving you this one. It could backfire into creepy. But that's a sign she's just not that into you.
>>16542879
I'd say if she mentions wanting something and it's relatively cheap you could get it for her, but make sure it's in the same outing. I was at a bookstore and my friend of the opposite gender wanted something, so I picked it up for her. Wasn't a big deal.
>>16542776
Thanks I'll have a look at that
>>16542782
>/soc/
I don't like the ever present HEY LOOK AT ME shit on there. It's like Facebook for anons.
Just looking to talk to people(preferably females) in private without any pressure
>inb4 irc
No weebs
>>16542911
No, the Skype threads and ideal mate threads have real people who only drop by soc to post there, get themselves out there
Is there any good way to tell a girl that you can't be friends with her because you have feelings for her and she's unavailable, that won't upset her?
It doesn't help either that I get the feeling that she doesn't have any other friends here, even though she's super outgoing and friendly.
>>16542601
I don't think it's attractive when someone puts quantity over quality sexually. Not even talking about age or weight but given the number you imply that makes it incredible you sincerely were very attracted to (let alone really liked) all of these people. But I wouldn't want to lose someone I otherwise really liked over it. People who are sexually inexperienced are easy enough to find, people you have a deep sincere connection with not so much. Also if we were to talk about it no, I would not care that you fucked fat girls or older women. They want love, too, and it just shows that you can be into different kind of people physically.
I mean, compare that to having fed girls drunk in order to fuck them once they couldn't walk anymore. Gross shit happens around hook ups.
>>16542935
Actually managed to completely blank on the hooker part until I saw the comment. Makes no difference to me unless she was a streetwalker level prostitute and you fucked her bareback, solely because of how braindead level stupid that is. But aside from my personal opinion, expect this to be an issue if nothing else. Many women recoil from the idea of a man who has been with prostitutes.
>>16542928
Well there is the tough guy method, talk with her face to face about it.
The pussy method:
The freeze out method so that you slowly cut your friendship.
Well i would personaly go with an in between, basicly telling her that we cant be friends because of some reason. But i would not tell the truth
>>16542911
Oh, If you decide to Interpals. Check out this thread on /int/. And if you have any questions, ask for the Ausfag named Johnno in those threads. He has been helping everyone make their profiles and stuff. >>>/int/51798835
Here's the Italian QT I'm talking to from IP that I will be meeting IRL in 2 weeks :)
>>16542928
Best way to me is to keep it limited to your own feelings. (That your feelings for her are holding you back, that you need space etc.) Yes it will suck for her, but it is not your duty to be there for her regardless of what that does to you. And if she's a proper friend, once she's calmed down she won't want you to stay around at the expense of your happiness, either.
>>16542952
>Here's the Italian QT I'm talking to from IP that I will be meeting IRL in 2 weeks :)
Are you Euro yourself? It seems like most of those relations tend to be intercontinental and prohibitively expensive.
>>16542976
I'm American. I was going to be going to Italy anyways. I bought tickets back in August. Then went on IP and found her and started talking. She's awesome!
But yes, I imagine more most people it's expensive. But it's crazy how many QTs there are. And personally, I find euro QTs more attractive than American. Not just their physical looks, but I think they are so much more interesting to talk to
Not gender-specific, but not important enough for a separate thread either.
How often do you get a crush on someone?
I'm currently failing badly to get over an ex. I want to move on with someone new, but it's fucking rare for me to have a crush on someone, and I don't want to go after girls I don't actually like. I'll probably get 1 crush per year, 2 max.
>>16543030
>How often do you get a crush on someone?
That will greatly vary depending on the person. I haven't "crushed" on someone in 4 years. And when I finally did, I found out she already has a boyfriend.
>>16543030
i've crushed 2 girl in the last 3 years.
I just suddently notice a girl, (mostly the shy and quiet ones, but also the one's you can talk to)
Its rare but it happends for me. Hovever never had luck in any relationship yet.
>>16543046
girls*
>>16543030
Honestly I can only think of 2 times in my life. Both times were fucking horrible.
>>16543030
>How often do you get a crush on someone?
Honestly? I think it varies on how frequently I go out. As a rough going rate, I'm interested in about 1 in 5 women as far as dating goes.
I guess it also depends on how we define a crush. For me its just mild or greater interest when I don't know the person very well.
>>16543030
Guy here. I'm horrible with this. Whenever I get close to a girl, I'll start noticing their qualities and become attracted to them. Basically I'll crush on any girl I meet and befriend to a certain point. It's not even inexperience. I meet and befriend tons of people on a regular basis.
So how often do I get a crush on someone? Way too damn often.
Girls (and guys with experience in this):
Before you read this, just know that I'm pretty socially awkward but I'm somehow decent at masking it. I have trouble on picking up romantic cues from women because I have next to no experience. I'm probably making it into a bigger deal than it is
Anyway, I pretty much unintentionally led a girl on when I know there's no chance I'll date/hook up with her. We're both sophomores in college, and I met her through a friend freshman year. We have somewhat similar taste in movies and music and we generally get along well so I enjoy spending time with her, I just don't really find her attractive at all. The friend that introduced us asked me a couple months back how I felt about the girl and I told the friend that I don't feel anything romantically for the girl so I assumed the girl knew. I've been spending more and more time with the girl lately, and I'm pretty sure she thinks I like her but that I'm just too shy to make a move or something since I'm a pretty quiet guy. Normally when we watch movies (which has happened multiple times) in her room we sit on the same bed but there's no touching involved at all. The problem is that three weeks ago we got really drunk and were dancing together at a party and got really physical but I blacked out and have no idea if we did anything else. Last week, we both got drunk and ended up cuddling in my room for a while. Then a couple days ago, she was drunk and I was sober and we were watching a movie in her room, and she gets close to me again and puts my arm over her and I just sort of went with it because I'm apparently the type of idiot that thought platonic cuddling was possible.
I know I should tell her that I'm not into her and I don't really think she'll get hurt by it or anything, I just don't want to make it awkward or make it seem like I think I'm the shit or whatever if it turns out she only got physical with me because she was drunk. What's the most polite way to go about this?
This girl classmate I used to date and always had a good time with has gone cold and I get the feeling I'm a bother to her. She has become very busy to the point that her schoolwork is literally all she does (yes, really) and the only time I ever see her is when she spends the break with a classmate. I bump into them almost daily and stick around.
Now she has a shitton of work and she's been stressed out for a while now, but towards that classmate she's almost as cheerful and 'fun' as she used to be, and he has 'value' to her because he helps her with her classes. Towards me she's matter-of-fact and cold, and I feel like an outsider pestering her about her life.
I know /adv/ protocol was to stop reading after the first sentence and respond
>she isn't interested so move on, you dweeb
But it's more complicated than that. I want to ask her how she feels about me, about my persistence. If she's blunt and ignoring because she's stressed out or because I've become one guy too many for her. I don't want to drop her, and I want to make sure she wants me out of her life if it really is that.
Thing is, I barely see her outside of those breaks nowadays, and it's just a simple question and she's too busy for me to say "let's meet up for this"
How should I ask it? What's the most diplomatic way to put this?
I met this girl who was interested in me, we went on a coffee date and we texted for a while but now we havent talked in about a week. I'm always the one to initiated the texts. Do women always expect the guy to pursue them or start talking to them or is she not as interested in me as I thought? Should I start texting her again or should I wait for her to text me? To add she is kinda shy.
>>16543133
She might just be shy if she does respond well, is interested in what you say and initiates conversation topics once you actually make the first move.
If she is cold and often times ends the texting session then chances are that she isn't interested.
>>16543030
I think I've only ever truly had three crushes in my life. One was my childhood crush of 5th grade. Another other was my teacher crush of 8th. And finally, the third wasn't even really a crush at all. There was no shallow infatuation or "puppy love" like with the other two. We just became amazing best friends, it grew into more, and now he's my partner.
>>16542860
It's a bad topic, but you can steer the talk to past relationships, and depending on the person, they might tell you some anecdotes, which may include cheating as well.
Also, you can scout around a bit by bringing up the topic of cheating in an indirect way:
> Did you hear about X and Y, with those nasty rumours?
> Did you ever cheat? Like that sweet shortcut on Rainbow Road?
Girls, on a scale from 0 to kicking out the bed, how weirded out would you be from a comment about you smelling nice?
>>16543167
what part of me
like my farts or?
>>16543167
Depends on the context. Someone I'm in a post coital cuddle with? Will warm my heart. Stranger leaned over to whisper to me while we're trapped in an elevator? Blood is ice.
Been talking to this girl for a few months. We messed around a few times but never had sex. We had been seeing each other semi-regularly over the course of two months, usually never more than two weeks between seeing each other. It was real casual, not really dating. We would hang out at parties or social gatherings and a few times she hung out at my place where the aforementioned fooling around happened.
Three weeks ago I sent her a text to see if she wanted to do something. She never responded. It's happened before, but she usually sends me a text the next morning or something. This time I got nothing. Three weeks later and I still haven't heard from her. I have feelings for her, and I think she does (or did) for me, but we never outright said anything to each other. Asking friends (half of them being other girls) most of them told me that it's on her and that I shouldn't be chasing her like that. They said I should wait for her to respond, or try to talk to her next time we see each other at some social gathering and bring it up, but don't initiate contact. I felt similarly.
A few wanted me to pursue, but weren't optimistic after I told them that the two times we fooled around she made it really apparent that she wanted to have sex. I never initiated it as both times we were drunk and the second time I was high on top of it. When we got into bed we pretty much passed out. After that second time is when I felt things kind of change. She seemed distant. I saw her the following week, invited her back to my place after a night at the bar, but she ended up blowing me off. I haven't heard from her since then. Is it a lost cause at this point? Has she lost interest? I admit that I still have feelings, but I don't want to play these weird games either and I have other girls who I'm interest in that I could be pursuing. It seemed like there could be something more with her. but I think the time has passed.
Should I reach out or leave it be?
>>16543185
Personally I'd talk to her. Don't be needy or lose your dignity. Just try to figure out what's going on. You've been close enough that asking to talk is perfectly acceptable, and you don't lose anything as long as you act cool.
>>16543167
If I'm in bed with you, of course you're the person I would love to hear that from.
My friend is leaving the country to study abroad after this semester ends in a few days. Today might have been the last day I'll see her, potentially for a very long time as both of us are planning on transferring universities at the start of next year. I meant to say bye to her and ask to stay in touch today after we took our finals, but there wasn't an opportunity since we finished our exams at different times and so didn't leave at the same time as we normally would.
My question is, what should I do? Should I just text her what I wanted to say or should I just not say anything? Or should I suggest we hang out and say it then? We've never hung out outside of studying together, so it might be kind of weird to as now.
Normally this situation wouldn't require so much goddamn deliberation, but I have a huge crush on this girl and I'm still holding onto the hope that maybe one day it might work out, so I've overthought this way too much. I'm also socially retarded, so there's that to consider as well.
>>16543242
Don't do it, you will just spend your life waiting and then when she comes back she has fucked 5 black guys and has Alejandro as her boyfriend.
Stay in touch with facebook or something but purely on friendship level and get yourself a real girlfriend on the meantime.
>>16542854
It's that people who give advice on this board are generally well adjusted "normal people". Seeing as how one of the things that separates users of 4Chan from normal members of society are their inability to act like normal people in social situations, when they receive advice like this it doesn't really help them. The people who come for advice are being given advice by people who are usually vastly different from themselves and don't really have the same problems or can't understand the mentality that would give context to their specific situation. Someone who posts about trying to divine interest in a potential romantic partner and subsequently receives advice like "Just ask her out!" or "Just ask her about her interests." "Be funny!" don't really do much to improve or help the person asking for advice. While that advice might work for other normal, regular people. For people who are often of college age, don't have much life experiences, and might be shut ins or social outcasts without a lot of romantic experience, are just being reminded that they're different when they come here and hear that kind of stuff. What might be a situation where someone has clearly lost interest, or someone isn't being aggressive enough, it doesn't really help to say move on. Providing some kind of emotional or logical reasoning to back up that reasoning would probably go a long way in helping people who come here understand what they're doing wrong.
It might be really good advice, and probably does work, but more than likely isn't good enough or isn't the right kind of advice for the kind of people who would come to 4Chan's advice board.
>>16543037
What did you do to get over that? I'm having the same problem. Haven't had a serious interest in a girl for a good three years, and I fell for this girl hard only to find out she has a boyfriend despite the large amount of time we were spending alone together.
I got a new girlfriend, but I'm a virgin and she's... pretty sexually experienced. Should I tell her I'm a virgin? What can I do to make sure that when we do have sex it is satisfying for her?
>>16543250
I know that's probably the healthy and smart thing to do, but it's so fucking hard. I care about this girl way more than I should and I don't have much experience with moving on
>>16543268
Except it's not hard at all since you have to absolutely nothing. Just don't sperg out and you will be way better off.
>>16543257
>Someone who posts about trying to divine interest in a potential romantic partner
See, the reason we shoot these down is that we just don't know. There is a TON of nuance that just cannot be explained over a text medium. Not to mention it's biased by coming from the guy, rather than viewing as a third party.
Because we cannot give a proper answer to "Does she like me???" The only thing we can suggest is for him to go find out.
>>16543242
Don't do it, man. Don't stay in touch. You're only setting yourself up for major disappointment. You've already had a whole semester together and if she liked you you'd already know. Your only two options are:
1. Stay in touch and experience the slow, agonizing torture for as long as this goes on.
2. Stay away, eventually get over her and move on. Realize that the feeling you have where she's the most perfect girl in the world and the only girl you want is just your hormones playing with you. It WILL pass and you'll realize that she was just one of many.
>>16543262
Please help with this. I'm in the exact same situation and my insecurities have already stopped me when presented with the opportunity, simply because I was afraid of the difference in levels of experiences. Hers being a lot, and mine being 0. Doesn't help that I'm a virgin in my late twenties either...
>>16543281
You have to tell her. My experience is that women are generally pretty warm and comforting when it comes to sex. When I began my sex life I had so much performance anxiety I couldn't get an erection. We tried literally dozens of times, and she even bought massage oils and gave me a massage and everything. Eventually it paid off and we had a glorious 3-4 seconds of intercourse. Then it got better and better until we had a normal sex life.
>>16543275
the use of the word "divine" in particular
is making me snicker
>>16543273
>Just don't sperg out
See, that's the hard part here
>>16543299
Just do nothing. everything you could do would just make it worse.
>>16543296
Exactly! I am no Professor Trelawney!
Question as a gay guy. When homophobes rant about how disgusting men are and how its disgusting that anyone could like men.
Is that insulting to women? Do you find that insulting?
>ask girl out
>get rejected
>pretty fun, got some hot friends
>continue hanging out with her
Is this a bad idea adv?
>>16543309
>Is this a bad idea adv?
if you have feelings for her, yes. I've been doing exactly that for the past couple of months and it has hurt like crazy.
Is it cruel to reject someone for a casual relationship just because they have kids?
Is it different if it's a single mom versus a single dad?
>>16543275
Ok great, you don't know, and that's fine. But even if the viewpoint is biased, wouldn't it help to at least offer some input other than asking her directly? The reason people don't do that themselves and come here instead is because they themselves obviously have some insecurities in that department and would to get some context outside of their own experiences since it's often so little or so off base that they could be missing out when they shouldn't and vice versa. If someone comes here with an issue, gives sufficient information, as much as they can relay; what they think might be relevant and could be helpful, only to be told "lol how would I know? Just ask her dummy!!11!" can be really discouraging and I'm not surprised when some posters become frustrated. The shouts of normie indicates that this person clearly can't relate to what normal people go through in their lives, specifically when it comes to romance, the most intimate of social interactions. If you expect a guy who has only 1 or 2 friends, or even none at all and have never had romantic experiences growing up to be able to engage in that level of intimacy with another person, even if it appears as inconsequential to normal people, it's a level of social interaction beyond anything they've dealt with before. Providing some little nuggets of wisdom, some small level of insight that they themselves cannot perceive makes a world of difference, and probably takes little to no effort over outright dismissing their problem by saying you don't know and the only way to find out is if you ask them
>>16543318
No, one of the people having kids is a very serious concern and there's nothing wrong with someone not wanting that in a relationship.
>>16543230
How do I do that? "Why didn't you text me back three weeks ago?" or "You said you would come over that night but you didn't, what happened?" seems like the wrong move. How do I acknowledge that I have an issue with what happened without coming across as clingy or needy? I have a good idea that it was about the sex thing, that's the only thing that I did "wrong" that could have caused this rift and I find that weird, but I can't just say "I know you haven't talked to me because I didn't have sex with you"
>>16543323
There is hardly a nugget of wisdom to glean, though. Step back "ask her out" to just "talk to her" then? See if she reacts positively or if she brushes you off?
We get drowned in people who say, "This girl was looking at me all class, what does it mean???" Which could mean that she thinks he's hot, or she noticed HIM looking over and kept checking, or his shirt tag was flipped up and it was bothering her, or she thought he was hideously ugly and couldn't look away from the train wreck of his face.
The only course of action is to INTERACT. At the very least, while walking by, make eye contact and wave with a smile. Does she look away, does she give a tight smile back, or does she grin at you? If deemed positive, continue to a conversation.
When it comes down to it, advice is not "What does it mean?" It is "What do I DO?" And a lot of the solutions to these types of reading indirect signs is to Do ANYTHING so you can gather some direct signs.
>>16543342
I think only you can answer that since you know what kind of relationship you've had. Your judgement seems sound to me, so I'm sure you'll make the right decision. The way I see it there's no way she hasn't thought quite a bit about this as well.
>>16543342
I avoid accusations and keep it conversational.
>I'm going to this thing tomorrow night, want to come?
>Hey I miss your face, let's meet up for coffee. I'm free this Thursday.
>I heard this song that reminded me of you, check it out
>>16543290
I'm the first question. I've actually had one previous opportunity to have sex, had erection issues, and the girl ended up leaving me for it. I think it really fucked me up mentally on sex, there's just so much pressure on the act now
>>16543307
I've never heard anyone rant about that really. And I don't think id be personally insulted because that has nothing to do with me.
>>16543374
that's pretty cold. the girl sounds like a bitch, though maybe you didn't communicate well enough with her.
Girls, would you date a guy who has acne? My acne treatment ain't working so I'm afraid it's not gonna go anywhere any time soon.
It's hard having confidence with all this shit on my face so it makes it difficult for me to go up to girls.
when texting a qt girl i'm interested in that i just want to talk to, do i need to start with a question?
on the last day of class she came up to me afterwards and told me she listened to my band's music and really liked it . i just barely managed get out a thanks because i was shocked that the girl iv been crushing on that iv never talked to came up to me. then I somehow ended up getting switched into her group for the final project and talked to over text about the project a bit. i want to text her again saying thanks for checking out my band and then hopefully segway into getting to know her a bit, but maybe i shouldnt start with a thanks? idk im probably over thinking this...
also the first time i texted her asking her about the project i messaged her around 6 and didnt get a response until the morning the next day, can this gap in time mean disinterest?
maybe this all goes under >Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
but whatever
>>16543391
Nope. She knew I was a virgin going in. Like I said, I still haven't told my new gf.
I know my attitude toward sex is unhealthy, but I'm hoping that losing my virginity will help me with that. The only problem is that this puts even more pressure on me. making my dick even less likely to work. There's no way to win
>>16542404
Ladies: A friend of mine said "There is no good way to reject a guy" do you agree? Have you ever rejected someone and gotten the reaction you were hoping for?
Lads: What's the worst rejection you've ever gotten from a woman?
>>16543356
Hmm, I guess my post was speaking more to getting advice for interactions that have already happened and going from there. I would never post about what to do if i saw a girl checking me out, but I would if I had a conversation with her, noticed all these various things but wasn't sure and came here for advice on what to do next. That's more to what I was speaking about. I agree that you can't do much with someone asking about "what does it mean when a girl says hi to me?" but I can attest to posting about an interaction that was already heavily involved past conversation, and even dating, and still getting banal advice like "just talk to her" or "how would I know" even though I provided more than sufficient context for a more nuanced response.
>>16543401
It can mean disinterest, but it can also means she's nervous to respond/is just really really busy considering its end of the semester mate
Should I kill myself? I'm 25 and a hkv. It doesn't feel like I'll ever be able to work myself out of this hole.
Obviously I don't mean much to people
>>16543418
your situation sucks, but I just don't see any other option than being honest with her. you can't fool her anyway, and if you avoid sex for too long she'll suspect something anyway.
I will say this, though. Once you get over it you'll probably never have that problem again, at least not with her. Once my dick started working it worked all the time. It's not something you're stuck with for the rest of your life, you just have to get over the initial hump. And that's probably not going to happen unless you involve her.
>>16543436
Nah
>>16543394
I have acne/deep scarring on my face and have a relatively normal personal/sex life
You need to get over the fact that you won't be raking in Victoria Secret models but you can still find happiness, just curb your expectations proportionate to your appearance and you'll be fine
Im way too thirsty, Im starting to be one of those creeps looking for webcam sex, and looking through prostitute advertisements.
What do I do, I dont seem to have any luck dating either.
>>16543423
>Lads: What's the worst rejection you've ever gotten from a woman?
I've never got any really mean ones, but the worst are definitely the ones that are too "soft". The girls are trying to be gentle, but they end up giving you that tiny sliver of hope that you'll cling to with all your might and inevitable cause you to suffer a lot more than necessary.
>>16543418
I've already had my lack of sexual experience cost me a relationship. I liked this girl we got into the situation to have sex, I didn't escalate and now I haven't seen her in forever. I'm tempted to just talk to this one chick I have absolutely no interest in physically or emotionally, but I know is dtf and just get it out of the way. I never wanted to do it that way but man, I vastly underestimated how important sex is even in completely casual interactions with the opposite sex. I always thought it was something to build up to, but its frivolity and the expectation of it seems to be so surface level that if you treat it with anything other than wanton apathy it to your detriment. Casual sex is fine and all that, I have no problems, I just feel like a weirdo for viewing it as something intimate when it honestly seems anything but.
>>16543451
I *have* gotten boners making out with her (didn't with the other girl). I also genuinely really like her (I only had a thing with the other girl because I really wanted to lose my virginity). So I guess I'm cautiously optimistic on my dick working (at least eventually) but more concerned with being better than useless in bed.
>>16543462
Just go fuck a prostitute, what's so bad about that.
Most prostitues aren't even that good so maybe the bad experience will discourage you from them in the future. On the other hand if you get good sex then at least you got good sex. win-win in my eyes really.
>>16543461
I understand that I'm not gonna have super attractive girls but how do I get over rather fact that my acne just makes me feel like I'm not worth it? Like I feel like I have no self esteem or confidence because that's like the first thing that they are going to notice when they see me.
Man fuck acne.
>>16543459
Idk why not
>>16543462
Idle hands are the devil's playthings, get a hobby faggot
>>16543360
>>16543372
As I'm reading your posts and thinking about my situation more, could our current rift be due to our different perceptions of sex? I'm inexperienced with it, or atleast, not as experienced with it as she is and I think that it's leading to some sort of miscommunication. She could be taking the fact that there were two times we could have had sex and didn't as a sign that I must not be interested while me putting it off as I have was a sign that I wanted something more than just physical.
With this in mind, how do I best approach this the next time I see her? Or am I looking at it wrong and it's a recipe for disaster?
>>16543473
I think you'll be fine. You won't be great in bed, but it's OK. You'll get better. A girl that likes you won't leave you just because you're not the greatest lover in the world.
>>16543483
Im kinda scared that somehow I end up without some organs. I mean it seems there are some whorehouses in my city that seem to be pretty legit but still kinda scary idfk.
Also morally I'd feel extremely guilty, specially if I ever have to talk about sexual partners with some potential girlfriend. It'd feel like a huge burden.
>>16543491
I got a few but guess I should dedicate more time to them yeah.
>>16543507
You could always go to one of those high class places if you are scared, provided you can afford the price and the trip there just for a fuck.
And you obviously don't have to specify to your girlfriend you fucked a whore.
Guys
I have a co-worker who messages me a lot and seems to get along well with only other females.
At first I thought it was impossible since he is married... but more and more I suspect he's trying to hit on me. He says weird things about other girls at work. Like how big their boobs are. He says things like *purrrr* and *tug tug* when I'm not answering his messages. He makes sexual jokes. He always wants to hug me, and it feels too long. It seemed really innocent, I'm not sure what to think of it.
He also sends me photos of things that seem to be innocent.. but I feel like there is a weirdness to it... Photos like this one attached. It's a photo of his cat.. but he's wearing boxers behind it..
Help, what should I do? I've already told him that I didn't think certain things were inappropriate, he act's like they aren't a big deal... I'm scared to bring it up to my boss because everyone loves him...
>>16543486
You know that annoying thing people say? "JUST B CONFIDENT XD" It's obnoxious as fuck of a comment but its an honestly the best advice I can give you.
4/10 women will base everything about you based on your appearance, especially in a bar/club setting that may apply even moreso, but women go out to have fun more than they do looking for David Beckham, be fun
Also, are you in the USA? What acne products are you using?
>>16543530
If you think it's weird (It is.), then stop talking to him. If he gets even weirder, then I'd suggest involving someone else.
Stop hugging him. If he asks why, remind him he has a wife.
>>16543564
You're replying to a bait post.
>>16543530
Why do you feel like you owe him anything because he's a "cool guy"? It's genuinely inappropriate to do what he's doing, tell your boss
>>16543568
Not a bait, seriously happening and it's weirding me out.
>>16543564
I have told him, and he said he hugs everyone and its just friendly. I tried involving someone else but now he mysteriously forgets to invite me to meetings so the more I push back, the more it affects me at work.
>>16543519
>And you obviously don't have to specify to your girlfriend you fucked a whore.
Yeah I dont have to but still, for me this has some kind of moral weight.
Also, it's not only morals, also about the pride of not being able to fuck unless paying...
Dear femanons,
When dealing with uni girls is it considered unattractive to admit that my life dream is genuinely to have a loving traditional type family?
>>16543619
disclaimer: not a fem
what do you mean with uni girls, university classmates? either way, if this comes up in some casual conversation, it's a bit creepy imo
>>16543538
Yeah Califag here I was using tretinoin, clindamycin, and doxycycline but I stopped like 2 months ago because it wasn't working. I was using it for like 8 months. Right now I'm just using facial cleanser. And yeah I'll try and be more fun
>>16543633
Have you been using any light therapy? You can pickup masks at CVS, that easily destroyed 80% of my acne and is helping with scarring.
Are you using any benzoyl peroxide either? That's over the counter and super effective in fighting acne. About how much of your face is covered?
>>16543657
Yeah I was using benzoyl peroxide along with the other stuff. How does that light thing that work and are they expensive?
>>16543530
/an/ here, I don't have any advice but I do have a question--is that a Singapura? Because I fucking love Singapuras.
How important do you think it is to have an active nightlife, to have fun as a university student and/or meet people/potential couples?
I'm 20 but I hate clubs around here because it's trashy music, trashy people and way too crowded. Maybe I could find some pub-style places tho.
>>16543619
Only to girls who don't also have that life dream. That's probably extremely attractive to girls who are the same.
>>16543698
It is
I give him that his cat is awesome but I don't really wanna see boxers along with it
Question for the girls:
If I was your friend and we talked every single day for long periods of time for like a month then all of a sudden you stop talking and say that texting all the time is too much and you can't handle it anymore, what would be the reason for that?
>>16543717
methinks the lady doth protest too much
>>16543278
I see your point and from a rational perspective I agree. It's just the whole hormones playing with me part that sucks.
Any good ways to get over this shit faster? I haven't every really been in this kind of situation before.
>>16543706
If you're a university student, meeting new people is as simple as saying hi to the person next to you in class
>>16543619
Depends on how traditional you're talking. If you mean in the sense that the mother is a housewife, then chances are a girl attending university is not okay with that
>>16543462
Do something to occupy yourself
>>16543436
If you want to. Seek help before you do though
>>16543401
You don't need to start with a question, but do start with something she can reply to. Not something like "hi"
>>16543394
It's just acne, don't talk like you have lupus or something
>>16543318
I wouldn't go so far to say it's cruel, but I do think it's justified in some ways. Gender of the parent doesn't matter, single mothers and fathers are on the same level
>>16543307
I've never heard anyone say that, and if I did, I'd assume they were insecure in their sexuality
>>16543756
I'm busy.
>>16543756
She probably got a better beta orbiter and you were on the lowest spot so got knocked out.
How come no girls are interested in me?
It makes me really sad.
>>16543763
Nah fuck you having acne as bad as mine sucks dick. I wish I could transfer my acne so you could suffer
>>16543788
How many brand new never-met-before girls did you talk to in the last three months?
>>16543717
Kind of reminds me of Anthony Weiner and his cats
>>16543792
have you tried raw unpasteurized honey
>>16543846
Never heard of that method before
>>16543830
How?
The answer is a lot, I work retail. None romantically though
Girls, what's a guy to do/ have to just incite conversation? Essencially, how does a male have to be to influence females into wanting to talk to them/ give them attention? And not for some further gain, just simply to want to talk and have companionship.
Also, what could be a general reason for dying conversations? Example,
>guy: hey, how was work today?
>girl: OK
I get things like this are signs they don't want to talk and such, but what if this is all you pretty much get from anyone you contact? Is it even worth bothering?
I'm starting to feel as a male who doesn't have a car/ in college, I'm looked at as a bane of society because I'm not preparing to be someone's provider.
>>16542770
May be he has been upset and lost his confidence because of erection issues. You did say he was unhappy.
>>16543879
I meant one on one. If you don't put yourself in positions where you talk to new girls, how do you know no girls like you? If you aren't putting yourself out there, how are you supposed to be finding a girl who does like you?
>>16543886
Tried to be tall?
In all seriousness 50% is being good looking and the other is being interesting.
You shouldn't ask about peoples work if they aren't in a relationship already with you. Try to ask about things that they "can't" answer with yes or no. Something that by definition requires them to be descriptive.
Instead of asking do they like reading, try what is your favorite book. Then follow up about discussion of that book or what ever the answer was. Pulling this off creates points for you to stick to and continue the conversation a little bit just by yourself. This tricks them into responding and forming emotional connection with you.
Girl said she couldn't hang out this weekend but would be willing to hang out when available. So when is it good to ask her, immediately or should i wait for a while.
>>16543904
How am I supposed to do that
i just posted this thread >>16543992
before i noticed this one.
>>16542463
i'm a girl, but i have the same thing when I become aware that a guy is attracted to me
if a guy's coming onto me via text or in person and I find him attractive I don't shake, i act pretty normally, if not smiley-er, etc. if a guy's coming onto me and I'm not interested i start shaking.
at some point i realized it was anxiety. it's not a pathological thing, like "oh no ive got an anxiety disorder and i'm TRIGGERED", it's just that i don't really know what he wants out of this and i'm just anticipating a tense or awkward end to this interaction.
Male here.
I matched with this girl on Tinder and we hit it off and have been talking for a couple of weeks.
She asked me on a date and I said yes (that's this Thursday). However, tonight she messaged me and asked if I was going to a party (put on by the university, not some bullshit kegger) being held on campus. I said sure, I'd be there.
We get there and she makes hardly any effort to coordinate with me. I found someone who looked like her sitting around a table and sat down close enough that it'd be OK for her to say high but far enough away that I wasn't butting on on her and her friends (about 2 seats down at a typical cafeteria table).
Nothing happened, so I assumed I was mistaken and left the party shortly after.
Turns out this woman was her, and I was asking her about it now that we're both at our homes. She says she thought it was me and that she smiled at me but that was all (I didn't notice anything).
Am I justified in being kind of annoyed that she didn't just say "oh hey, are you...?"
I feel that the burden of doing so wasn't on me because 1. she was with her friends and 2. I came to her and sat nearby, leaving the ball in her court.
What do you think, women of /adv/?
Do people with divorced parents tend to want to have kids of their own (i.e. start their own families)?
>>16544013
My parents are divorced, my girlfriend's parents are divorced.
Neither of us want kids at all.
Do people get in relationships over Tinder, or is it the souless hookup place I think it is.
>>16544020
A little of both; depends on who you match with.
>>16543999
I am lazy, so a girl asking me out sounds amazing...unless I am already with someone else.
Any initiative a girl takes is welcome.
>>16544010
When I approach someone, I make my presence known and confirm I'm talking to the right person.
I think it's weird that neither of you did that, but my expectation would be for the person approaching to be the first to say, "Oh hey, Julia? Hi! What's up?"
>>16544035
Normally I would've but her friends being there made me feel like I would've been butting in if I'd done that. Especially if it turned out I had the wrong person.
Looking back that was a pretty silly thing to have been anxious about, but I still am a bit miffed that she didn't do anything either.
>>16544020
>>16544023
Truth. I've found both. Just gotta play it at your speed.
>>16544031
This. Any time a girl takes the initiative it makes a big impression.
Is it a good idea to ask out a girl you know from an enclosed social group? She might be interested or she might just be nice to not push me away from the group, that doesn't matter, but will I mess everything up if I do? (Group is a local "church" group, we are 5 in our division and a whole lot in others (group's authorities are our friends too)). Notice that I'm pretty traditional and believe in picking 1 for life if possible so it's kind of a big deal.
>>16544020
I wouldn't recommend that at all
>>16544048
I think the most stable and successful relationships start out as solid friendships.
>meet a guy
>he's really nice to me, I enjoy his company
>realise after a month that I'm pretty attracted to him
>flirt way obviously with him
>eventually invite him over to my place so he can "help me with my guitar", he's not even a super skilled guitar player
>we enjoy ourselves, I realise I'm falling for this guy, hard
>hear from a friend of his that he's had a girlfriend for a year
>he had never mentioned the girlfriend before then and hasn't since
>I once asked him about her casually over the internet but he read the message and never responded
I also invited him to a concert of a band I love that he's not super into and he responded super enthusiastically.
Am I wrong in thinking his behaviour is kind of odd? What is his objective? Do you think he's just really, really oblivious?
So I went on 2 dates with this girl and on the second one, she tells me she enjoyed the dates and asked how I feel. I tell her I really like her and want another date. She says she also likes me but she doesn't know if she's ready for another relationship (she just broke up with a friend of mine).
So for a few weeks I just chilled with her and we watched shows/movies together because I wanted to make her feel more comfortable with me (we living in same house). After a while, she asks me out on a walk and tells me she wants to just stay friends and it turns out she had promised some other guy a date a while back so she's in a tough situation. I have feelings for her and I really enjoy spending time with her and seeing her every day, but I'm moving out in a week and don't know if I should ask her again.
>>16544054
So keep it up for a while you say? Thing is she'll probably gtfo of town in 1.5 years if she doesn't have reasons to stay and we've only been relating for a couple of months :/
>>16544048
like a lot of things it is a crapshoot. I dated my coworker some years back (group of 10 of us worked closely together) and ended up dating her for two and a half years. Around the same time, coworker tried dating another one of our coworkers, and that was terrible.
If both of you can handle whatever may happen maturely, then things will be ok.
As to you picking one for life...maybe you should wait a month or two and try to meet more people outside of your group?
>>16544057
Never underestimate how dumb we can be when it comes to detecting signals
>>16544077
Yeah, I keep telling myself he's just oblivious, but from all the people I've met the past few months I've noticed that the ones who have a relationship usually casually mention this at least within the first month of knowing them. He just seems to act kind of dodgy regarding the subject.
>>16544063
Hm then I don't really see the harm in asking her on a date. You can get to know each other more and it will let her know you're interested in more than just friendship.
>>16544073
Thanks, and also I can't seem to find someone who fits me so well (done my thinking not letting my feelings/dick get in the way)
>>16544086
>>16544073
>>16544054
Thanks m8s I'm now leaning more towards asking her out
>>16544085
2 options
>he's actually avoiding it
>he's shy and doesn't know how to handle the situation
I've ruined possible relationship in the past by being too dodgy about the subject even if I liked the girl so I'm thinking option 2
>>16544110
Haha, I sure hope it is and you're not giving me unfounded hope, anon. But thanks, this does ease my mind.
Is there a way to tell the difference between your girlfriend truly ignoring you or just being busy/unable to communicate?
>>16544145
Asking her? After all you should share your thoughts with each other as a couple
>>16544145
The easiest way would be to ask yourself if she's got any reason to be ignoring you. did you say or do something risky lately?
>>16542928
I was here. The girl was unavailable yet wanted to be friends/hang out with me very badly. I decided to go against instinct and hang out with her because I wanted to take a relationship I had with another girl to the next level. Heres whathappened:
>go on successful psuedo date
>use exp to ask girl I recently realized I love out
>shit goes downhill fast with my girl: cuts contact, bad breakup
>get extremely depressed, devastated, feel like I failed my now ex
>reveal to unavailable friend I basically used her for practice, offers to talk to her
>she and my ex talk
>ex contacts me to talk one last time, breakup peacefully
>helps me cope, still hopes we'll be friends
Years later we still are.
>>16543030
Anon, its extremely rare for me. Once every 5yrs? But I don't look around. Im scared to.
>>16544150
>>16544152
I have sort of asked her about it. She said she's having some family troubles so she can't communicate as often. She said it wouldn't take long to resolve them so it's been about two weeks since we last spoke. I called her a couple days ago but no response yet. Don't want to seem clingy so I guess I'll just wait some more
no matter what I try my girlfriend just wants to lay on the couch and watch tv when we're home together. she's always either on her phone and watching tv, or playing vidya. there's just no romance anymore, it's like we're just roommates that very occasionally have sex when I pester her enough into it. should I even keep trying to fix it?
>>16543581
Then tell your boss, bring up that you're feeling sexually harassed and they will kiss your feet to avoid a legal issue.
Girls, what's the best way to compliment you?
>>16544319
I don't like compliments. Unless you're in some sort of relationship it's creepy, keep it to yourself.
Girls: would you date a guy who has gray hairs?
It's not a lot but in HS people used to point it out all the time. Now that I think about it maybe it is a lot.
>>16544181
its ogre.
Seriously you are obviously unhappy and things rarely improve. Relationships take effort from both parts, she obviously doesn't see a problem which is why she is just doing her thing.
Question to both sides, but first some backstory
>be 20, almost 21
>kissless virgin
>sometimes i'm itching for a companion of the opposite sex, but then i just take my mind off it by doing something else
>my best friend, who happens to be female, tells me that i should live life more and enjoy it now that i'm still young
>by this, she told to get a gf, just for the sake of it
>consider this for the past few days, and was starting to think that i should make a move on someone i know
>know this one girl for 5 years now, she's cute, has more of my shared interests that most i met, and i guess i can overlook her chubbyness
But here's the thing: i don't actually like her.
In fact, in the past, every time i felt some kind of move from her towards me, i rejected it instantly(indirectly, of course). And i'm about 90% sure she likes me because she's looking for excuses to see each other or just texting me a lot of times.
So, would it really be a good idea to try to get to the next step with her just for the sake of it, if there isn't any actual interest inbetween? I don't think i'll be able to sleep until i get an actual answer.
>>16542867
Kind of a late reply to this, but leave her.
I have an aspie sister, she will probably never do anything with her life. She's been pretty much 10 mentally for the past eight years, and I dread the possible financial disaster she'll bring upon our parents when she goes to university.
There is absolutely no way to completely connect with someone who is legitimately autistic in an adult way.
>>16544375
You will regret it after if you don't like her. Maybe not regret but feel unfulfilled.
By the way I was virgin till 19 through choice (kek what a beta :^)) now I've been with over 30 girls and I'm 27. No rush man plenty of time, if you wanna meet people get a bar job
I've been rejected by a girl who I thought was showing interest in me. Is it a good idea to ask her whether or not I was completely mistaken?
If I missed her signs, I'm interested in knowing how I could have noticed earlier and what made me fuck up. Just so I don't repeat it with next one.
>>16544416
>what made me fuck up.
You didn't, move on and better yourself everyday.
>>16544375
>>16544395
Any other advice for this? My head was already telling me that i would regret it in no time, but my dick keeps telling me to got for it and that maybe the interest will come in due time.
>>16544477
Since you replied, here's a block of text with more context:
I've known her for around 6 months now, seeing her regularly, but never really close, from my point of view.
About 2 months ago, I started to notice some "signs", here are some of them:
* Came talking specifically to me for no reason, all smiling. Asking only what I did last week-end and such uninteresting stuff
* She asked me what kind of girlfriend I was looking for
* After going out with me and another friend one night, we exchanged contact. I told her to come drink together at the usual local pub where we know many people, but she replied "ok, but let's go to another place", we ended up just the two of us at the counter of a "French" bistro
Those were the most obvious for me, especially the last one where she pushed for us to be just together. There was maybe others but I'm not quite sure if it's not just a coincidence. After the first signs I noticed, I started to get feelings for her. But because of my previous relationship, I wanted to make sure and I was afraid we would be both hurt if we rushed it too much, so I pulled out my perfect waifu checklist and made her go through all the tests. When I realised the most important boxes were ticked, I finally made my move to ask her out to go together at some event in the weekend. But she gave me the lame excuse of being busy until indefinitely and I saw her hanging out with another guy a couple of days later.
Do you think I overinterpreted? Or I was just being way too slow and she lost patience?
If I completely missed her signs, I really want to know, so I don't repeat the same mistake (it happened to me in the past, I realised too late I made the poor girl waste her time when she asked me out after 4 months of seeing each other as friends and I felt sorry for her). If she actually had feelings for me, then will she be more willing to explain me?
>>16544495
The fact you are asking show's its not cool.
Go find someone you actually want.
>>16544510
From my experience I would say you miss read the situation. Never have I ever had a girl go off me because I missed her signs.
As much as I hate to say it you should read some of the redpill stuff, just because it is so legit about how women are emotional and not logical (in general).
I've had girls wanna do stuff just me and her and its usually because, she wants attention and she doesn't want to share it or her interest was there at the time.
Women blow hot and cold all the time its just in their nature, but if they are full on off for ages then its done for and you are a place holder till something else comes a long to satisfy their emotional needs.
My last relationship was just like your shit but for over a year and a half... she was cheating all that time and was exactly like you described.
It was my fault because I didn't respect myself to do what was right for me.
Would you think end of the semester is too late to start talking to someone?
For example, 2 weeks of school left and this girl I thought that was kinda cute would sometimes look at the back of the class at me. Never did anything because I wasn't interested, but I've been thinking meh why not I could end up having a friend. Don't know what I would say though, or even progress in a conversation after talking about school shit.
I think I asked this once, but I'm trying for more results.
[spoiler]Are women usually down to fuck anytime like men or are they more indifferent about it?[/spoiler]
>>16544670
Fuck. Forgot that spoilers don't work here. Would've added a bit to the suspense. Oh well.
>>16544683
Really? So, even if there were no consequences whatsoever, a woman would still be unsure about it? Even if they were hella horny?
>>16544688
>hella
california?
Also, your question implied all women, now youre asking specifically about one woman? It really depends on the girl, but most women aren't dtf like guys are.
>>16544692
Thought it was easier to fuck for you, cause, you know, you can just lay down and wait for it.
It's kind of more complicated for us to get hard for a 5 or lower 2bh that we barely know, especially with condom and when you can't connect with her on any level.
>>16544692
>california
Nah, Michigan.
>about one woman
No, just women in general. Do they even like sex enough to be dtf (kinda like how most men see sex as one of the best things in life)?
>>16544670
>>16544704
Guys are designed to be ready for sex. Of course you're always raring to go- whatever opportunity arises to spread your seed. You're totally right about how easy it is for girls. Which is why, biologically, our desire is less important.
You can make baby without female orgasm, but male orgasm is required.
Women have the desire to scope out their mate more, since they'd need protection and food during the taxing miracle that is pregnacy and birth.
Guys can pump and dump. There is selection for caring dads since it'd ensure for better survival, but it's certainly not necessary.
>>16544670
Generally not
>>16544636
What do you have to lose?
>>16544416
If you were rejected, then chances are you were mistaken. Don't make more of a fool of yourself
>>16544375
It's not fair on her if you don't actually like her. Go find another girl who's looking for something casual or with minimal commitment instead
>>16544353
My cousins have grey hairs all over their head for some reason. I think it looks pretty cool to be honest. As long as it's not due to ageing, it's not a problem
>>16544319
One that's sincere, and not just a ploy to get into my pants
>>16544181
Have you talked to her about it? Not pestered or nagged, but actually talked
>>16544145
She's your girlfriend, not ours. We don't know, you're more likely to
>>16544048
You two sound like you'd be pretty mature if things went south. And in the end, you're never going to have anything with her if you don't ask her out.
>>16544020
I think it's rare. To be stereotypical and somewhat sexist, I'd say the majority of guys are there for quick sex, and the majority of girls are there for a free meal. There's also a significant percentage of both genders there for attention and validation
A month or two ago I was "dating" a girl for a while. She has never kissed or dated anyone so she was really insecure the whole time.
We just met and basically did something random like watch a movie or whatever and then just spend the rest of the time making out. Even if I felt those were normal dates and did some other stuff, she felt like we just met for making out.
She said she's not the type to just have a casual relationship, a fling or whatever, but also that she doesn't feel the "butterflys inside" with me, because she's always felt that she should first befriend the guy and then fall in love. We met in some event and at the 2nd date already kissed her, with some confrontation from her part but oh well.
It bugs me out because we were having plenty of fun. We made out very heavily and she enjoyed having her body touched, specially because I ended up groping her ass very hard. She got pretty horny in the spur of the moment and right before catching the bus she said something along the lines "I wish I could spend the night with you"
But then, at the next day she tells me we should call it quits, as it's just a fling with no love involved.
That was a month ago, it still bugs me because I think we were going very nicely and she doesnt have experience dating, so seems to have some kind of Disney-esque idea of love. I'd like to somehow start going out with her again, how to?
>>16544823
Fuck that sounds so similar to my situation. The disney love part. I thought it was going great as well she gets distant later breaks up because she has a crush on her friend. She said i was great but she had some doubts.
Basically it might be that yours is also crushing on somebody else. Don't do what i did and that was sending a needy beta message later asking for a explanation.
>>16544823
>>16544842
I don't really think that there's much YOU can do. She'll eventually end up putting a guy on a pedestal and then something will happen to give her a reality check, and then she'll be 'normal'. I wouldn't suggest waiting around for this to happen, just move on.
>>16544842
Some days very near the fact I sent her some messages and it was some awkward shit implying sexual stuff so I guess that didnt help, but hopefuly she forgot about that, we still talk casually from time to time.
She plays in the university orchestra or whatever and is having a concert next week, not sure if I should attend it or if I'd just be awkwardly ignored because all her friends and so on might go.
>>16544848
Well mine i never see her again. She goes to the same uni haven't seen her outside of the dates. I still want to apologize for the dumb shit i said but it feels like it's to late(weeks have passed). And doing it online seems half assed
>>16544781
And do one night stands come into this?
>>16544936
Of course ONS exists.
Even if legit girls are answering, remember you are on 4chan so put their opinions into that perspective.
>>16544957
???
>ask a girl for a book last week
>yesterday she messages me saying she forgot about
>we text a bit more, she mentions getting coffee/wine
>then just tells me to invite myself over when I feel like it and tells me she's waiting
Now I planned to come over there a bit later for a drink, but then I got high and was too lazy.
Won't be a problem if I message her today for a meet?
>>16544965
What part you need me to elaborate on?
>>16544974
All of it please
>>16544998
Yeah, well no. You don't make any effort and I gotta go
