So, I've just recently-ish gotten in a relationship about 2 months ago, and of course sex is starting to come into question. It's his first time, it's my first time, and of course we've never used any contraception. Of course, the only 100% way not to get pregnant is not to have sex. That won't be happening. And I know there are stats online, and things you ask your gynecologist, but I'd like personal experiences.
Guys: Are condoms a problem for you? Do you have a problem staying hard or feeling anything at all? I know that there are other options to latex, but do they feel any better? We don't have to worry about condoms for STDs, even though I know that's a huge part for why they're made.
Girls: How effective is the pill in general? How effective is has it been for controlling pregnancy if he finishes inside without a condom? Do you ever let your partner finish inside, or is the risk not worth it? Aside from the pill, are IUDs a good idea, or have you found other ways of successful birth control?
We can make this a broader conversation, if anyone has questions or wants to talk about what they use, feel free to post that here.
If you REALLY don't want a kid, I suggest using both condoms and another form of BC, be it the pill, IUD, implant or something else.
Also are you 100% sure he's never had sexual contact with anyone else before? Have you ever had previous sexual contact? If so,g et tested before going bareback, STDs can be transmitted orally too
>>16540420
Resources incoming
http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/pdf/contraceptive_methods_508.pdf
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control
http://m.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/the_buddy_system_effectiveness_rates_for_backing_up_your_birth_control_with_a_
>>16540420
i've been using the pill for 3+ years and had my bf at the time cum inside me w/o a condom and never got pregnant.
he only came in me a couple times and i wouldn't really recommend having him finish inside every time
we never used a condom bc i'm allergic to latex and they just don't feel nearly as good
To answer your questions directly
>Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always take the pill each day as directed
>About 9 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don’t always take the pill each day as directed.
>Combination OCP + Male Condoms = 99.99% effective with perfect use - 98.7% effective with typical use
Now mind you, BC pills are pretty easy to use imperfectly. If you happen to get diarrhea, that's imperfect use. If you don't take it at the same time every day, imperfect use.
>>16540479
And here it is combined with withdrawal instead of condoms
>Combination OCP + Withdrawal = 99.98% effective with perfect use - 97.6% effective with typical use
If you combine all three(pills, condoms, and withdrawal) perfectly you'll have even more effectiveness.
Ok I have been on birth control with pills for like 4 years, let me help you a bit
About the guys with condoms, yes, they do feel the rubber, but that shouldn't bother them, that being said, I'd suggest to always use condoms unless both are tested since there can exist hidden STD's. And even if you are both tested, always use condoms.
Pills help a lot and are effective if you take them as they are meant to. That being said, you have to remember that sometimes you'll get sick and take antibiotics, maybe have diarrhea or vomit after some bad luck. All of those things make the pill fail and you could get pregnant, so always go with rubber.
I say this because I'm always paranoid after my partner comes inside me even if I use my pill religiously, the 1% is still a probability and there are some stuff you can't control. Rubber isn't that bad as a female, and if he isn't a baby he'll accept it.
>>16540420
Dude here, fuck condoms. They take like 1/3rd of the pleasure of sex away, and just suck in general.
Birth control is the way to go; I've never had an issue or even a scare.
Thank you for the information, so far, guys. Really helps, thank you.
>>16540451
I wouldn't mind going for complete sterilization. I don't particularly want kids, haven't wanted them for all my life, but he does. So, that might not be an option, yet. >>16540456 Is nice to know, too.
>>16540435
This is what I was thinking, having birth control and a condom. We'll both get tested, because it's unfair if one of us is singled out, but as far as I'm concerned, he's clean and so am I. He's done things before, I haven't, but we'll get both of us checked out anyway.
>>16540463
Did you let him only on "safe days", then? I think I've got a latex allergy, too (getting tested for it before I go into anything), so I'm curious.
>>16540479
What do you mean by if you get diarrhea then it's imperfect? Is that a side effect of not using them correctly and effectively?
>>16540518
Yeah, I was kind of worried about that, too. Do you know anything about an IUD, because I've been doing a bit of research and that seems to be pretty effective without having to take a pill. He's cool about using a rubber, just want to know what our options are.
>>16540533
That's what kind of worries me a little, is that it's not going to feel good for him. Here's the thing, baby scares take precedence in the decision, but I don't want to numb him out with a condom. That's my concern with those.
>>16540533
Gotta second this thought. Bare is also psychologically better if you love the gal.
>>16540538
Don't get sterilized. You have the option of implants or IUDs which are less invasive, less dangerous, less expensive, completely reversible, and more effective! Yes, more people get pregnant after sterilization than people get pregnant useing implants and IUDs.
And like the other anon said, vomiting or diarrhea make the pill fail because it leave the body before it can take effect properly.
Also, I'm not sure how it's going to work out if you don't want kids and he does.
>>16540557
If he has used condoms before keep using them, don't ask him, just tell him to use them.
Once you give the chance to do it without a condom it makes it very hard to go back, they'll say it doesn't feel good anymore, that it's ok, etc. Just use condom and make it the norm, otherwise you will always be worried.
That said, you could only use BC, keep an alarm and don't let him come inside in a month or two. I'd recommend to get used to swallow, since they will want to cum inside and personally that makes me paranoid as fuck at the end of the month.
>>16540557
Get a IUD.
>>16540568
It's ultra effective (moreso than a condom).
Also,
>>16540564
Is right. When a guy cums inside you, there's chemistry that happens that makes you feel really nice afterwards. It's so much more intimate than using a condom; I've done both.
IUDs are great, but I'd recommend you look into an implant first. It's less invasive and more effective than IUDs. It's the most effective form of BC after complete abstinence. It does not last as many years as an IUD though.
>>16540579
>>16540533
>>16540564
Keep in mind that 2 out of these 3 posters are guys. Yes, when they ejaculate inside feels good, and guys feel way more than with condoms, but if you are really paranoid about kids you're gonna have a bad time waiting for your bleeding and they have no idea about that (even if it's unreal) pregnancy scare.
I have friends who will spend monthly on pregnancy test even if they use BC perfectly, it really, really sucks.
Keep that in mind if you are gonna use a form of birth control that allows him to cum inside.
About sterilizing yourself, don't do that for now. Maybe you won't change your opinion, but it might be a deal breaker with some guys and maybe MAYBE you'll change your mind in the future, make that choice after your 30's
I have an IUD and I love it. Plastic one, Mirena.
I dont have to worry about pregnancy, my periods are so light I dont have to buy pads or tampons, and I never have to worry about forgetting to take a pill.
As far as side effects, I spotted for 3 months straight which sucked fucking ass, but in the course of 5 years that hardly matters. It was painful to put in, but it only lasted the moment.
I put on 5 pounds over the course of my first two years with it but I have no way of knowing if it's related or not.
