Hey, so I have a question and I don't really know where else to turn, please help.
My girlfriend (of almost 1 year) had a younger brother with severe autism, no one else in her family has it, and no one in my family has it. I'm genuinely terrified my kid will have autism, and I'm not sure that I could love a child with the disorder. According to her family doctor, there is a test they can run before the child is born that has 100% accuracy in diagnosing the disorder while still in the legal abortion window. She said she is willing to get an abortion for me if it comes back positive, but I would really rather not deal with that situation for obvious reasons.
Does anyone have any good sources I can look at that give me actual statistical information of the likelihood that my kid will have autism, and what are your thoughts on simply ending the relationship and finding another partner?
I'm happy to supply additional information if you need it.
Please don't judge me for the question, I don't really have anyone else I can turn to for advice.
Thanks :)
Picture obviously unrelated
>>16536916
Yes, sort of.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_counseling
Very little is known about the genetics of autism, so drilling it down to an actionable percentage chance of your having an autistic child with this girl is near impossible. If nobody else in her family is autistic and nobody in your family is autistic, you're probably fine, and any child you have with anyone else is still going to carry the risk of developmental disorders.
Links to a bunch of studies at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritability_of_autism
But nothing's been done regarding children of parents of siblings with autism obviously.
>>16536916
I don't blame you for being concerned. I have autism and my parents don't love me, either. Tollerate perhaps, definitely pity, but that'd be about the extent of it.
Actually, top props for having a proper level of self awareness and not committing yourself to something you wouldn't be able to follow through with! I wish more people were like that.
>>16536916
Your gf comes from inferior stock and recessive genes can rear their autistic heads in any future generation.
It's kind of shallow to dump her because her brother is autistic.
Is he like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuK7X6DGmaA
Chances of autism increase with the age of the parents, so if they had him later in life and you don't wait until you're 35, you shouldn't be getting paranoid.
Is she pregnant?
If not, you're fucking insane.
>>16536944
I'll definitely read up on this article, thank you for the link
>>16536950
Thanks for the link :) it just genuinely scares me, I want a normal child I can love...it's one of my biggest dreams in life
>>16536960
To put it bluntly, he's got it so bad he'll obviously never be able to take care of himself, you seem to be able to coherently place ideas in sequential order which puts you miles ahead of her brother. It's scary stuff, and It really makes me feel like shit for being so non accepting...but yea...I dunno
>>16536977
She's not pregnant, I'm just thinking ahead...I'm 23, I don't want to end up at 28 with the same girl just to realize that I need to find a new partner and that I wasted my prime hunting time for a wife
>>16536982
Autistic people have the same emotions, it's just harder for them to express them. They want to be loved just like anyone else.
>>16536963
I haven't actually talked to the brother, but I saw him in the car once when her dad came to pick her up from my house, and he was (what appeared to be) thrashing around...it made me confused, worried, scared...I don't even know, I couldn't handle that in my own child
>>16536971
If I understand correctly, he was probably born when the mom was around 25-30...she was a young mom to start with, but my gf and her older sister don't have any symptoms
>>16537005
I understand that they're people, and that they have emotions and all of that, I just know I couldn't love the child. I want to see my kid grow up, be self sufficient, be successful and kick ass at life. I don't want to take care of him/her when I'm 80
>>16536991
Well, he and I seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, so to speak. But trust me, if you and I were to meet in person, your opinion of me would be very different. I don't talk to people in person, 4chan is actually my only outlet.
Unfortunately, even if I were to develop my social skills, I would be in very much the same situation as yourself. I have been aware for some time that if I were to reproduce, that there would be a very high likelihood that my child would be either autistic (~50%) or a sperg such as myself (~25%).
>>16536960
you have what, asperger's?
>>16537026
Actually based on the research I've done, if the dad has it, it's basically irrelevant, it's carried mostly on the moms side
Like I mentioned in my original post, I don't really know if I should continue the relationship, minus this one (very fucking important thing) everything between us is solid and she's a 10/10
It's a really touchy subject to bring up (obviously) and she always gets angry and/or defensive when I try to have a discussion over it...any ideas on how to bring it up without a fight?
There is no known autism in my family, nor in the family of my brother's wife. Yet their first child seems to have autism. Just saying, you can't predict it.
>>16537075
While yes, I am aware of the fact you can't predict autism, you can certainly do things to lower the over all risk.
>>16536916
Autism is caused by electronics. Notice how autism rates rose as microwaves and other electronic home appliances entered the scene?
What kind of autism? Is he mildly awkward or full on fighting and biting people?
>>16537028
Yup. Severely. And likely, OCD. I'm a little obsessive about things like punctuation.
>>16537036
This is interesting. I had kind of given up a very long time ago, I may need to look into it again.
>>16537089
I haven't met him in person as I mentioned above, but she's told me it's bad, so I'm going to assume it's the worst case. He was thrashing around in the front seat of the car the only time j saw him, so I really have no idea...I also don't think the severity is really related to I heritability
>>16537084
Assuming you aren't being intentionally retarded, it's actually a case of 'we know what autism is and can diagnose it in modern times'
>>16537084
I always thought it was directly related to the high levels of glyphosate (a biotoxin) used in corn production as a weed killer, coupled with the huge amounts of corn in the American diet. Most cultures that ban GMOs, and therefore can't use large amounts of glyphosate don't have nearly the occurrence of ASDs.
>>16537108
Now now, everyone knows autism is caused by vaccines. If you don't get your scientific facts from a former playboy bunny, you're a retard.
>>16537110
It could very well be a combination of both. Autism wasn't a concept until pretty recently. Granted, the symptoms might've not been recognized. Still, it seems that the modern era has an abundance of people on the autism spectrum.
>>16537108
Science makes guesses, they don't know. I'll bet in 5-10 years science theories will change, and so on.
OP here, I really appreciate all the interest in the thread so far, but I would like to get it back on track. I'm not interested in the cause (i.e. Gmos, vaccines, electronics, whatever else), I'm just trying to find a solution to a problem that's been bothering me for about 4 months.
I don't have anyone I can trust to give me a non judgmental answer, or something that's not really sugar coated, so I was hoping to get some help from you anons.
>>16537168
stay with your 10/10 perfect girl, retard. Get the fetus tested, if its extra special then do the responsible thing, man up and kill it. Problem solved.
>>16536916
I would suggest not having a child at all. I understand no one wants to have a child with a cognitive impairment, but shit happens. What if your child has Downs? Cerebral Palsy? Any other variation of the millions of things that can go wrong when making a baby?
>>16537168
Stay with her. See where it goes and when and if the time comes you'll know what to do. Now go enjoy your life, faggot.
>>16537084
Actually, pre modern era there's lots of evidence that various forms of retardation existed, some of which is in the form of stories and folktale, but sometimes legitimate records. Only difference is people didn't have the same names for it. If you go far enough back there was a time when people really thought trolls or elves would break into their houses and swap their normal human babies with monsters, and that's just what they thought retarded people were: changelings.
And apparently when my parents and grandparents were kids, there were just as many retarded people, but their families would either keep them locked up at home, or no one would talk about them or acknowledge their existence in most social settings, or they'd be sent to asylums.They were there just as much, just not as in the open as today. And high functioning ones that could get by on their own well enough were just referred to as "slow" or "funny."
>>16536916
I'm not a scientist or doctor, but I really think your odds of having an autistic child are probably just about as high with anyone else as with this girl. You should just stay with her if you want to still be with anyone at all.
Only way to guarantee you avoid having an unhealthy child is to either not have one or adopt. Really, I don't understand why I don't see more people even consider adoption. I've seen people compare it to getting keked, but I don't get that view. A kid's a kid.
>>16537168
I am a woman that has a sister with severe autism. I have been married for 4 years to my husband. We also dated back in high school before university.
Scientists know little about the inheritance genetics of autism. No one else in my family falls solidly on the spectrum, though a couple of 3rd cousins might, but they are homeschooling so that may be a reason...
Anyway, I would stick with your girl. You don't have to adore her sibling, but please don't act like he outright disgusts you. They can understand more than you realize. Also realize that she may be protective of him, and that he may always be a concern on the back of her mind.
it is more her concern than yours. You just need to be emotionally supportive.
>>16537176
This is likely the best solution. Given that many women are vehemently opposed to having an abortion, your chance of having a healthy and neurotypical child increases exponentially, if the woman you're with fully grasps the concept of what raising an ASD child is like, since the current prospect has already faced these concerns during her childhood, she would be more willing to be tested and terminate any potentially... well, like me.
>>16537176
That's the plan
>>16537179
Not really an option, having a functional child is a big dream of mine
>>16537184
Thanks anon
>>16537211
I'm completely uninterested in a child that isn't biologically related to me, I want to pass on my genetics >>16537420
I'm sure this is a kind of weird conversation for you, but I genuinely appreciate your input
>>16537583
I appreciate the empathy, but nothing is a weird conversation for me, or everything is. I enjoy the anonymity, so I can open up about things that I wouldn't be able to in person. At any rate I'm glad I could help, presumably. I hope everything works out, and you can have a happy family.
>>16536916
There is simply no evidence that autism is genetic. That doesn't mean there's proof it isn't, just that there is no clear connection.
And educate yourself on the subject - autism has NOTHING to do with retardation. It has to do with lacking filters against sensory input.
You and I spend every waking moment bombarded with sights, sounds, smells, touches that we have learned to filter out and ignore (When was the last time you were consciously aware of the sound of your own breathing?)
For some yet-to-be-discovered reason, autistic children can't turn off their awareness of all that stuff coming at them, and are overwhelmed by it. Reasonably enough, they turn inward, hiding from all the sensory input.
Depending on how severe that is, most can be lured out into contact with the world and learn how to filter input to some extent. But by then, they've missed out on the ordinary social development most kids go through in their early years, and may always be at least a little behind others in such skills as making small talk, and especially in reading and understanding non-verbal symbols like tone of voice.
>>16537620
Yup. At thirty, I don't socialize, listen to music or watch television. Most of my time is spent reading everything from blogs to medical dissertations.
When I absolutely have to talk to people, I can read and fake most body language, but whereas it's natural and subconscious for everyone else, it's a fully conscious mentally draining experience for me.
But I also have a firm understanding of biochemistry, neurochemistry, biology, computer sciences, and speak several languages... to myself. So I hardly consider it pitiable.
>>16537620
actually many of the leading researchers do agree that there is at least some type of genetic predisposition. there is additionally random gene mutation, in which instance it is unlikely to be passed on.
that being said, I stand by my earlier statement which as shallow as some might see it, I could not love an autistic child. I would lose my mind
>>16537050
Nigger, if you love this girl, then stay with her regardless of her autistic brother. Even if you had a new partner with no autistic relatives, the risk of autism doesn't go away completely.
Autism does seem to run in families, but if her bro is the only one that has it, then it could just be an isolated quirk. Chances are that you'll have a normal kid. At least your girlfriend isn't a dumbass and she has enough foresight to abort if necessary.
Autism is a predisposition towards a certain type of brain function
that is very very sensitive to things like hard metals, radiation/static, and carcinogens etc
So these people really suffer in our modern lifestyle
>>16536916
Some people who come out autistic are actually really cool desu. But that's a very very small minority.
you honestly shouldn't have kids if you can't love them unconditionally in whatever state of being they're in
>>16537023
From your OP I already thought that it would be a bad idea for you to have kids at all, but this kind of proves it.
There's NO guarantee for you to have a kid that will kick ass at life whatsoever and if that is a requirement for you to love your kid...
>>16538321
>lol at many parents actually loving their kids.
so many parents hate their perfectly normal children
>>16538112
do you know of any test that can identify if its a random gene mutation, or something that's actually something to be concerned about
>>16538424
i just want a child that's not mentally disabled. one that i don't have to take care of for the rest of my life, when it should be the other way around.
that's not that much to ask for
>there is a test they can run before the child is born that has 100% accuracy in diagnosing the disorder while still in the legal abortion window
Well that's 100% bullshit.
>>16538664
I'm not mentally disabled but I refuse to take care of my dad because I just don't like him. He chose to have kids and take on the responsibility of caring for them but I don't see why I should care for an old man when I haven't volunteered to.
>>16538665
Ive heard this from severe people who have had kids recently, it's something to do with extracting a sample quantity of whatever the name of the fluid is the baby floats around it
>>16539098
Which is your choice, I shouldn't be FORCED to take care of the kid, just like you're not forced to take care of your dad
