Why is love so hard.
Every few months my boyfriend will randomly start acting weird and claiming he has commitment issues. Nothing comes out of these discussions and we end up back together perfectly fine next day.
He pulled this shit again last week and I seriously almost had a psychotic break. I'm so tired of constantly living in anxiety wondering when he's going to leave me.
I love him so much but he's constantly treating me like shit and taking me for granted, I'm just terrified of being alone.
He never hangs out with my friends ever, but i've hung out with them almost every fucking weekend.
I've been telling him for the past week that tonight (sat) is my friends birthday and I'd really appreciate if he'd come for once. He said yes for sure. Instead, he gets piss drunk last night and now says he's too hungover to go tonight.
Last weekend, we were supposed to go on a date on Sunday. He once again gets piss drunk night before, does xanax and blacks out so we can't go out.
ADV , How do I let go?????
I'm fucking terrified. I love him so much. The last time we broke up I tried to stay away for a month and started to heal and then he just dragged me back into this.
How do I let go of this toxicity?
I'm constantly fighting the battle of wanting him but needing to let him go because i'm just depressed all the time...
>>16534633
i feel like i'm the only one putting in effort.
on my birthday he made me pay for my birthday lunch and smoked meth.
I make all these plans for us to go out and have fun and do things, and they never up doing through.
I realize that I am a push over and don't stand up for myself often, but even when I do, I feel crazy and he brushes it off.
it's like all these signs are right in front of my face but I refuse to accept them.
I don't know whats wrong with me
Bump :(
>>16534633
You shouldn't be with someone doing drugs anyways. It's just going to end badly and he sounds like he probably cheats on you and is trying to make it okay by saying he has issues. Tell him to clean up or leave.
Hey OP, how did it feel when you realized you're dating a junkie?
Please describe your experience here.
>dating a meth head
>any year
OP when you stay with someone like that you don't just stoop down to their level, you go lower.
Get your head out of your ass and dump the stupid motherfucker.
>>16534670
>>16534676
i won't lie and say he doesn't have a drug problem, but he isn't a junkie.
the meth was once on my birthday and a few times way before we met. I know junkies, and he isn't one.
It's the other drugs. He gets tempted when he's around his shitty friends. Hes expressed to me that he wants to stop and I tell him that I'll help him through this, but then he goes out and pulls shit like this.
I just don't know how to let go.
>>16534683
That's a junky dear.
>>16534683
That's literally what a junkie is. You're starting to sound more and more delusional with every post.
>>16534692
Okay, I'm sorry i'm just really upset right now.
I'm planning on breaking up with him I just don't know how to deal with the sadness that follows after
>>16534683
You know the whole 'meth not even once' joke?
Yeah. It's not a joke. He's probably out smoking right now behind your back. Has been for a while. Guy sounds like a real winner. You sure know how to pick em, OP. At this point you're making yourself into such a pushover that you might as well start smoking meth too.
Maybe when you really hit rock bottom you'll realize the error of your ways for having stayed in a relationship with an addict.
>>16534683
You're in denial. ANYBODY who has done meth is a full on junkie.
You'd be better off without him. He clearly doesn't really love you anyway, because he is obviously cheating on you.
>>16534694
Sadness for having gotten out of a self-described toxic relationship?
You should feel liberated, not sad.
>>16534694
Don't apologize, I'm just trying to help you understand that while it will hurt a lot, it will be much much worse if you stay.
>>16534707
>>16534703
>>16534697
>>16534696
No, I am sorry.
You guys are all right. I said it myself, I refuse to accept the reality. I'm making excuses to stay with him when I should leave.
Thanks guys.
>>16534633
>boyfriend admits to you he has anxiety problems about the relationship
>pushed them back down so it's "fine" in the morning
You think this actually means everything is fine? That just because he goes "it's fine" and stops discussing his anxiety that it's all okay?
>He never hangs out with my friends ever, but i've hung out with them almost every fucking weekend
Did you mean "them"? Are you saying you just hang out with your friends every weekend and your boyfriend doesn't spend any time with you then and you wonder why he's anxious?
>all that fucking drug use
Seriously? Are you fuckin' serious?
>i feel like i'm the only one putting in effort
Sounds like you don't understand him and he doesn't understand you. You're probably putting in what you can on your end and he's putting in what he can on his end, but you're not speaking the same language, so you don't even see what he's feeling or going through, and he doesn't even see what you're feeling or going through.
>How do I let go of this toxicity?
By realizing he's not the only toxic thing. That realizing you're both young, immature, and not right for each other. You both sound very concerned with yourselves, and like a relationship wouldn't be right for either one of you.
>>16534737
Trust us. You'll break up with him (hardest part) then go home and cry your eyes out. The next day you'll realize how much weight has been lifted and then you can move on with your life.
>>16534633
He's sleeping with one of your friends. That's why he needs those little breaks, and why he's desperately trying to avoid being around you and her at the same time. Mention each one of the separately in conversation, and whichever one he reacts to is the one he's been fooling around with.
>>16534696
>>16534697
So autistic....
>>16534633
He clearly has issues just dump him OP
>>16534737
Good luck OP. You'll feel sad, but it's so worth not doing fucking drugs.
