What do you 'love' about this person?

>>16531775
I've been dating them for almost two years, we are thinking about living together. I'm 23. They are awesome in every way, kind and thoughtful. I just have desires to sleep with other people because I want the novelty, I want that amazement over my body and theirs, etc, but I love my partner and we have sex quite often as well.

>>16531767
Its called being a hoe/slut/bitch/whore. Hoes fall in love too and continue slutting it up. Just dont expect this someone to love or respect you back, what ever the fuck love means.

>>16531789
Why do some people have these desires and some not? Why is it not okay to act on them if the other partner is aware and okay with it? I am so confused about society, because it seems incredibility common to have these desires, but vilified so much. Fuck.

>>16531789
Hahahahahaha
I wouldn't be surprised if you're a virgin aspie with that attitude.

OP ask about an open relationship but respect his choice if he says no

>>16531799

That's because you are a basic bitch who rationalizes her own sorry behavior, from the same generation of narcissists that believes themselves incapable of being wrong.

>>16531805
He said yes after a series of talks but I don't believe him. I have trouble imagining him being okay with it if I told him I was gonna have sex with someone else. I think it would break him. It really sucks to imagining ending a relationship over this, especially since my desires are so infrequent (once a year or so). He said every few months I could sleep with someone else. I don't know. It hasn't happened yet though. I used to be polyamorous but I've been feeling a lot of shame over my desires recently.

>>16531783
>i love this person and want to be together forever but I'm unwilling to make any sacrifices for it
>my desire for novelty and bodily pleasure is more important than a spiritual union of two lovers

This is an unhappy marriage and a divorce where you get half his stuff just waiting to happen.

>>16531799
If the partner is aware and ok with it then it's ok to follow through. It's the beta, immature, scared and insecure people who are frightened of their partner leaving who get so butt hurt about side-sex.

But if your primary partner starts to be uncomfortable then you need to make a choice.

>>16531767

Of course it is, you can be in love with more than one person, you can love one but fuck others. If it's what you want then do it, anything's "possible"

I think yes. In the best situation, the one you love provides all your needs. But this isn't a perfect world, there might be an aspect that can't be fulfilled by your loved one and has to be sought out. But I'd ask yourself how you'd feel if you were the one not fulfilling her needs and she was doing the same as well, if you'd be ok with that or not.

of course

>>16531767
Sure. People have conflicting desires all the time.

>>16531767
yes, but it's also possible that she will break with you after you do the deed. source: happened to me.

>>16531984
I have a feeling this will happen, do you think it was for the best? I'm not sure I want to marry him (we've only been together 2 years?), especially if I can't have that kind of freedom/happiness in the relationship, so I guess i might as well just continue on and see what happens.

Is it possible? Yes.
Does that justify going through with it? No.

>>16531996
I wouldn't cheat. Just trying to understand my emotions and find a happy medium instead of serial monogamy forever.

it's possible to love someone and still want to sleep around, but it's not possible to act on that desire and still love them. you have to decide which is more important to you, tell the person you love your choice, and stick with it

>>16531767
Dude that is the human condition
Everyone has those 2 things pulling at them all the time
I've been married 15 years and it Never goes away;because your heart is still beating.
You just have to decide what kind of person you want to be.

>>16533179
Isn't it possible to have both though and have a congruous life with the two parts in harmony, instead of constantly fighting an urge? I feel like a greater sense of connection could happen if there wasn't that resentment/curiosity/etc.

>>16533185
Not that anon, but sure, it can work with another poly person.

But you can't make a mono person poly. That's like trying to turn someone straight gay. It just doesn't work like that.

If you can't be happy in a monogamous relationship, and your partner can't be happy in an open/poly relationship, then you're essentially a gay and straight person trying to be in a relationship with each other.

>>16531799
To resist common deires, to proof ones worth and faithfulness.You a worthless hoe.

>>16531826
It is beta to take worth in the only meaningfull thing in life?

>>16533218
I think that your life is what you make of it, it's beta to allow someone else to prescribe a set of values to your life that you don't actually want. Because who are you living life for?

>>16533200
>>16533185
I feel like a poly person being in a mono relationship is more likely to work than the other way around. most people go through life with a laundry list of desires they don't act on for various social, legal, moral, political, economic, etc reasons, adding one more to the list is really not such a huge deal if the rewards are worth it. however, feelings of disgust, outrage, betrayal, jealousy, etc within a relationship usually mean it won't last long, and will end very harshly

>>16533227
Being the "One" for someone else as well as children are the only thing that should matter for you as a person, since they are the only things that actually validate your life. If you never raised a kid you whole life will just vanish.