Big Move
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
So, I'm a 23 year old dude that lives with his parents. Mainly, that's because I'm a touring musician and can't really see any reason in paying $500+ a month to rent a place I'll be in 1/3 of the time. Additionally, my dad has built up a very nice project studio in our house so I'm able to record my own stuff. Lately, though, I've hit a wall. For about the last year or so, I've been realizing that I need to live like a 23 year old and not like a 23 year old living with two 60 year olds. Even more recently, that got worse when my 21 year old brother moved back home and brought his dog. Now he sleeps until noon every day and the dog wakes me up at 8. With all this it's hard for me to feel remotely inspired, so the home studio is going unused and I'm just sitting around ruminating on all the things about this situation that I don't like. Add on top of all of this the fact that I recently met a wonderful girl who lives across the country and I've potentially got a difficult decision to make.
I don't want to leave my family, or my hometown, or my home state for that matter, but I've had tastes of what it's like to live more independently and with people my age and I really enjoyed it. I just have a hard time justifying moving 3000 miles away, especially when there's supposed to be a studio at my disposal and the band I play with is based where I currently live, and tour regionally sometimes. I get that real life is hard and being an adult means making difficult decisions sometimes, but is this one that would be worth it?
Paying considerable amount of cash for practically no change seems a little bit bad m8. I would stay probably, toughen up a little
>>16520744
True - paying $6000 a year to live 3000 miles away from my family and studio does sound like a pretty raw deal. I'm just pretty uncomfortable in this current situation, I find myself wanting to be out of it more and more often.
Burmp
>>16520758
Try dealing with reasons which make you feel uncomfortable. I know it is frowned upon in usa more than in yurop (living with parents) but the thing is, who cares? At the end of the day, you dont really have to worry about food, rent, roof above your head, company etc.
For what price? Helping with dishes or whatnot, less privacy and annoying dog. Get earplugs or.smthing, talk about the issue with brother or just sleep on if you can. Anything else will prolly get better in time
>>16520871
What kind of music do you write/play/sing? I have a hard time believing that you can improve or grow your art if you stay in the same spot and never go beyond your comfort zone.
What are your goals? If you just want to living cheaply, safely, and comfortably then I can see how what you're doing would be just fine.
>>16520871
Well, it's not that I'm living with my family that bothers me - I love my parents and they're incredibly supportive and patient, and I get along well enough with my brother most of the time - it's just that I need stimulation from people my own age sometimes. 60 year olds just want to talk about/worry about/do different things sometimes and that's totally fine, it just isn't the most entertaining way to live as a 23 year old. Mainly, when I'm home in the current situation, I just feel completely useless. I can't write or record because other people are around doing things, and I don't want to go get some shitty part time job just to avoid my house and leave the job in a month when the next tour happens. For the price of washing dishes and cleaning up a bit, I essentially get a room I can sit around in all day and wish I was writing.
>>16520887
I play with a couple different groups, but the music is all in the Americana/Folk/Pop vein. Music that I typically need space and quiet and time to develop. Overall, I'd like to be able to make a living off of playing music. I'm not too far off from being able to afford moving/living somewhere else, but it's always a gamble. I really don't want to move 3000 miles away from one of my bands though.
One more burmp
>>16520871
Of you live with your parents and are an adult, you should be making some monetary contribution to the household...within reason.
>>16520914
You think it's bad now, try doing it in your 30s
>>16521049
If your parents are charging you rent to live at home just because you're over the age of 18, you have shitty parents. I arguably cost them less now that I'm older and can afford my own food and gas and whatever when I'm not at home.
Another burmp
>>16520720
Unless you're on the cusp of making it mega fucking big, being a musician isn't gonna pay the bills. I would assume you already know that, since you're still living at home. Time to shelve the dream, and join the rest of us homie. You can still be in a band, but if you're gonna need a day job.
>>16521717
One band I play with has been going for 10 years and regularly tours both coasts, with a supportive fan base and a new record coming out soon. I think I'm alright with them.
The other group I mainly play with is booked by one of the best booking agencies in the world, regularly tours Europe and major US cities, and has been involved with almost every major producer and songwriter in the business somehow. Also think I'm alright with them.
Both situations are slowly growing and I see them as having plenty of potential to pay well enough to live comfortably. I just can't see myself having a job that would allow me to duck out after two weeks to tour for a month or two. That also doesn't sound very lucrative.
>>16521717
He could teach his instrument. They might be lenient, or her could start his own teaching service.
>>16521749
Don't give up your dream, anon. If you want to do it, you'll find a way to make things work out. Oftentimes it is when you want to give up that you're on the verge of a breakthrough.
>>16521926
Thanks. I've considered giving lessons, I just don't know what is fair to charge and I taught myself so I don't have a lot of traditional methods to pass on. I'm also not sure how to go about finding students... Craigslist? Facebook? Yelling in the street?
