24 year old kissless virgin here with no friends.
People always say in order to make friends and especially to attract girls, you need to be ''confident''
Can somebody here explain to me what the hell ''confidence'' means?
Its broad term but i think i can help with a couple of examples. Confidence means when you encounter someone new at work or something you dont look at your feet and murmur "how are you", it means putting yourself out there and asking that co-worker where he got that sick shirt from or cracking a joke in an appropriate situation.
>>16517958
so i need to force myself unto other people like some annoying asshole?
>>16517948
it means you need to have the qualities women want
>>16518013
and those are?
>>16517993
how is complimenting someone and making jokes "forcing yourself unto them"? that's just regular communcation.
bothering them after being rejected or inapropriate body contact is "forcing yourself upon them".
>>16518030
everyone ive tried to search contact with rejects me, whenever i try to compliment somebody i get a ''cool story bro...''-like reaction, and my jokes make people cringe, so ive stopped trying to be funny, not because im insecure but because im realistic and realize being funny is not my cup of tea
>>16518046
Well i mean if the people who talk to you liek that completley throw anything thats said to them back in their face and dont make any effort to contine like
"hey nice shirt"
"yeah its from target, 5 dollars"
"Sick, you buy all your clothes from target?"
"hahahah, no, i just saw it on sale and it looked pretty cool"
"Anyway, have you done the report that Robert wanted done by noon?"
"Yeah, here it is, seeya man"
See thats a normal conversation, if peopel just act like assholes and be likek that then theyre either too insecure about their sexuality to genuienly accept comments or they dont want to be seen around you, being overweight is quite a large turn-off in conversation if youre talking to a stranger
>>16518046
then it was a good idea to stop making jokes. (that's what i did too, people don't really get my sense of humor)
compliments have to be sincere to work, for example you say "i like your dress/shirt/haircut" and then they'll say "thanks". don't just go away then, ask them where they got it and talk a little about dresses/shirts/haircuts.
>>16518046
That's probably because it seems forced.
Confidence is not the be all end all in making friends, but it can be pretty important.
If you're not confident you must change the way you see yourself and the way you see social interactions. If your main concern when interacting with other people is "how would saying/doing this makes me look like" you will end up acting like a weirdo. Basically you need to be natural, but in a way that's socially acceptable.
People might reject you from many reasons though, you might come off as creepy, uninteresting, annoying etc. Or it might be something more obvious, like the way you look, or the way you smell. You need to figure out what your issue is and try to work on it. For that you need to try and look at yourself from an objective perspective, or the perspective of people you interact with, you can't judge yourself by your own standards.
I can ramble on this for a while, but some anon on /adv/ won't cure your autism, I suggest reading some books on social interaction and PRACTICING it. Start with "How To Win Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, it's an old book full of silly stories and truisms, but they work wonders when constantly applied.
>>16518138
Dale Carnegie is god-tier reading material for self-improvement. Read this book, OP.
>>16517948
To answer your question though, confidence is believing in your actions and words 100% without falter or a hint of doubt. A good place to start is to look people in the eyes. When talking to someone, look into their eyes most of the time. When you pass strangers on the street, meet their eyes (don't glare, just a 'gentle' look if that makes any sense) and occasionally smile and give a small hello.
