I'm 19 years old, male and a virgin. I'm not too tall, not too academically excellent, nor socially, nor athletically. My entire life has been spent by me whining about how I should have not been born, or how everyone hates me, Crying about the most banal things I remember doing this even at 7, and even now: I haven't evolved past that point. Since, I'm so socially secluded that all the friendships, I do form I always end up getting super clingy, I have always wanted to feel special (recently drove away a girl who liked me because of this) I'm obsessed with the idea, and the only person who ever thought i meant something to him, I ignored him, I'm not intimidating and not authoritative. Ever since I was young being the naive kid that I was my strategy was to have others pity me, and use that to avoid confrontations fights and everything. I let people call me names, I have no friends, no job experience, and I don't know how to make friends or have conversations with people I don't know. I can't flirt, I can't be sexually attractive. I'm afraid of people, they scare me. frankly. But I'm tired of all of this, I'm tired of being pathetic, I legitimately want to change. I want to be attractive I want to be smart,I want to be social, I want to be athletic,I want to get good grades, but I don't know where to begin and I"m so afraid of change. I really want to stop being so pathetic, but I just can't bring myself to change. I want to be a person others respect, I want to be a person who doesn't start crying every time something bad happens to him.Where do I even begin?
Either you'll use your misery as fuel to change or you'll wallow in it. It's your choice anon
>>16513409
Normally when I read that, I say I wish it were that easy, saying it gives people the impression, I don't want to change But no, I want to change. The thing is I have chosen to whine about it, rather than actually do anything about it. My brain thinks I'm doing something, it's temporarily release, from actually doing it. I need do something, but my misery alone not makes me whine.
>>16513434
Make a simple goal to better yourself and do it. Repeat until you die
>>16513406
let me start by saying that being attractive, social, and athletic is mostly useless. don't fall into the trap of fitting in. be your own man and people will like you for it. and if they don;t fuck them you don't need that negativity anyways. iv always found that pseudo sociopathic life is the best life. you do things because they benefit you. you get things because you want them. you spend the money you have on yourself. if you want/need companionship go to the bar and talk to strangers until youre to drunk to hear. (once you're 21 that is) and you are damn right to be terrified of people. especially nowadays when you can't do anything with/for anyone without fear of being sued and/or arrested. get a job frycook/cashier use those earnings to fund college, go into something like nursing where you're stuck around people (itll help you realize how fucked humanity is) pays okay also, use the money to further yourself and have nice things.
tl;dr stop wanting to fit in. your life will be much happier if you stop caring about others and what they think
>>16513471
>tl;dr stop wanting to fit in. your life will be much happier if you stop caring about others and what they think
how do i stop being so alone then?
>no friends
>no gf
>need to appear social to get friends and a gf
>>16514144
LISTEN:
STOP TRYING TO FIT IN AND BE LIKE [YOUR IDEA OF] OTHER PEOPLE
MAKE SMALLER SPECIFIC GOALS, STOP FUCKING YOURSELF OVER
I NEED A FULLY FUNCTIONING HEALTHY SOCIAL LIFE RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN'T HAVE IT BECAUSE I'M A LOSER - [YOU CAN NEVER SOLVE THIS PROBLEM, IT'S TOO BIG]
START NOW, START SMALL
I AM GOING TO GO TO THE SHOP AND ASK THE CASHIER IF THEY ARE HAVING A NICE DAY.
GO AND FUCKING DO THAT NOW, THEN COME BACK AND POST ABOUT HOW GREAT/SHIT IT WAS. AT LEAST THEN YOU HAVE MADE THE FIRST STEP.
SORRY FOR CAPITALS BUT THIS BOARD IS FULL OF PEOPLE THAT START OFF LIKE;
"HI, EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME AND I CAN'T FIX IT, WAT DU I DU?"
AND EVERYTIME I WANT TO THROW MY LAPTOP OUT THE WINDOW SCREAMING PISS. IT'S LIKE SAYING
"I WANT TO BUILD THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IN 2 MINUTES, AND IF I CAN'T DO IT IN TWO MINUTES, I'M GOING TO BE MISERABLE FOREVER"
TAKE...FUCKING...SMALLER...STEPS!
>>16514181
>>16514181
>THEN COME BACK AND POST ABOUT HOW GREAT/SHIT IT WAS
well, this is how autistic i am.
i went to the mcdonald's drive through. the lady asked "what can i get for you?"
am i supposed to ignore her question and ask the busy lady how her day is? i just ordered a coffee, she said 'have a nice day', and i replied 'thanks, you too'
am i supposed to try this at a grocery store or a store that is less busy?
>>16514388
Not that guy, but:
>go to grocery store/supermarket
>give items to cashier
>they say "hi, how are you?"
>you reply "hey, good thanks, how's your day?"
>they answer
>pay for your shit
>"have a nice day" and smile
That's it
>>16514711
i'll try that, thanks
Anon I was in your situation for a long time, and I am getting better now.
1st step is actually wanting to change so good job on that
2nd step you need to figure out where you get the most anxiety and move past it. Everyone is different but what worked for me was placing myself in that position over and over again until it became so routine it didn't bother me
3rd find something to be at least vaguely passionate about, your young and as you gain experience you will find your true passion but this will help you get a job and get started
4th kind of an extension from my last point but get an education. Make all of the connections you can
5th once you get a job be a fucking workhorse, take on every project, volunteer for every shit assignment others don't want and do the job better than or at least on par with those before you
Also, there will be days where you aren't going to want to do this. When that hits you need to remind yourself that the goal is to become stronger and better than before and that quitting when things get rough is not moving forward and is actually taking away from the progress you have made. Best of luck anon
>>16515350
shit like this works wonders for you confidence
its a risk free way to reach out to someone, even if it is the fucking cashier
