Is emotional cheating actually cheating? And do I get my bf to get over it? Any help would be appreciated.
For a long story, I had been with my bf for 4 years. About a year ago we had separated for a few months but we still kept talking and occasionally slept together. After a while he starting becoming distant, but still talked.
At the same time I started talking with a male coworker since he was there to listen and help me with my relationship between my bf and me.
I started having feelings for my coworker and I started going out with him.
I didn't tell my ex about it and he found out when he came to pick me up from work as a surprise. From what he told me, he had wanted to talk about fixing things and getting back to together.
The coworker/bf then became jealous and very possessive. He wouldn't let me go out alone, and always wanted to be contact with him. I didn't like this and this led me to sleep with my ex before I broke up with him.
Since then, I have tried to work out things with my ex.
The thing is that he tells me he loves me, but can't seem to trust me. It's not like I slept with the other guy. My ex keeps telling me that I was wrong in talking to the other guy about us. I needed help and he just can't seem to understand that.
How do I get him to do so?
Maybe stop being a shitty human being with absolutely 0 ounces of loyalty in your entire body?
We're not going to justify you fucking around with two guys at the same time. You're dirt and that's why you get treated like it.
>>16513347
Alright Cinderella, calm it down.
OP, sounds like nothing has really changed and your stuck in the same situation you were before. Probably best to move on from both men and spend some time drawing or doing whatever you like.
>>16513354
The thing is he is now better, he has been communicating and showing he cares, but still can't say that he trust me.
He says that he loves me and I love him back, but I guess he can't get past what happened. I think he still thinks I slept with my coworker seeing that I had been living with him for about a month.
I don't want to give up on first bf and I have been wanting to show him that I didn't stop being loyal to him.
Have you told your ex that you cheated on your coworker with him?
Cause you just proved that your coworker was right to be jealous by cheating on him. And somehow you even think he's to blame for it.
>>16513378
Yeah, he knew about it at the time. He did keep saying that he didn't want to sleep with me then because he felt it was wrong. I reassured him that it was okay because I wanted to be with him, and not the coworker.
Maybe I should have waited until after I broke up with the coworker?
>>16513393
Yes, you should have waited. You've just showed your boyfriend that you're a cheater, how can he trust someone like that?
After being cheated on myself, I sometimes hope I find a trusting woman for a great relationship.
Then I see threads like this.
>>16513402
Hey hey. Don't feel bad.
OP here.
I'll fess up now.
Thanks to those that replied. I have to confess part of this thread is a lie.
I'm actually the first bf in this. I semi wrote this from what I know about my ex gf. She was been trying get back with me and I wanted to see what info I could get from a different view.
In truth, I don't really trust her. I have been trying to look past the event but she fact that she right away slept with me makes me feel guilty as fuck.
What lead to the initial coldness was that I had been dealing with post-deployment ptsd.
In the time we spent separated I had been getting mental health assistance.
Things had been getting better and I thought to try again.
The rest of the events are true. She didn't tell me about her coworker, and that she had moved in with him after a month or so of being together. We starting talking and she continues to this day to say that she will make it up to me.
To honest the anon that said how can I trust her is right. As it's not easy. First I do feel burned by the fact that she went to another man for help with our relationship, she never once tried to talk to me about, despite me wanting to. Then there's the moving in and such.
I had wanted to try again with her, but as you have read, I don't think I can.
I apologize for the deception and I thank you for your replies.
>>16513422
Oh..
>>16513422
Damn goku.
>>16513422
ayy lmao
you've made my day op, enjoy getting cu.cked or dump the bitch, you already know she is not gf material.
>>16513511
>>16513488
Yeah sorry about that.
Also, goku? What the fuck does he have to do in this?
>>16513527
Glad someone got a rise out of it.
Now I just need to know how to end this.
I would like to do it in person, since I believe it's the respectful thing to do. Just not sure about logistics. Never been in this spot before and any tips would be appreciated.
Then again, I could just cold shoulder her and ignore it all. Just move on from this.
