Repeat from the last thread

Guys, how would you react if a girl you were making out with in a club or something turned out to be MTF transgender? Purely hypothetical question

Both sexes

How much stock do you guys put in to dreams?

What if your SO said someone elses name in their sleep?

Conversely, what if you found out your SO had a dream where they cheated on you with their best friend?

>>16512997
>How much stock do you guys put in to dreams?
Not too much. The most I've ever concluded from one was that I was desperate to regain some control over my life.

Which was true, admittedly. At the time I was dealing with more stuff than I could handle.

As far as sex dreams go, I wouldnt put too much stock into them though.

Why do you close your eyes when you kiss?

How to go from talking to a girl, to going to 1st/2nd/3rd base with them? (At a party this is)

>>16513107
Because doing it with eyes open is awkward and stupid looking you retard virgin.

>>16512865
Would explain my opinion and walk away.

Girls: have you ever had a boyfriend who suffered delayed ejaculation? Only hell know peace from this evil. At first my gf and I thought it was "cool" since I had an endless resistance but now it's a disaster... I can't have an orgasm with her nor I ever had one with any other woman, this is really ruining our sexual life, I swear to god she really turns me on but I just can't... I can only have ejaculate through masturbation.
I always hear about women unable to reach the orgasm but apparently we have this issue too. How did you solve this problem? I'm pretty sure it has psychological origins.

>>16513149
Nah it's not you turbolard

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I kind of need advice with this thing here to make sure I'm not misinterpreting something here.

Well, I got released of my military duties yesterday early as I was done with my conscript time. I stuck around the base an hour or two, saying bye to comrades. After that I went to the biggest shopping center around here where I met with another comrade after he was done with Ice Hockey training. Following that I went to Train Station where I met this girl I've been texting and chatting with by surprise. She had some friends of hers around, we chatted. We got on the train and then one of her friends asked her if she was going to see that news Mockingjay 2 movie. She complained that she had nobody to watch it with, seeing as it's probably such a great movie. They asked a the other dude that was around and me what I thought of it. He said he didn't like it and I withheld my opinion. But in my complete madness I said "yeah, I didn't watch the movie so I can't judge" and she asked me if I wanted to go see it with her, right now, on the spot. I hesitated but said yes and we went to watch it. One of her friends got worried and asked her if it was okay to watch go watch a movie in the cinema with a different guy other than her boyfriend and she was like "lmao he doesn't have to know".

cont. because this shit is long

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Where can I find crazy qts who were abused heavily by their own parents as children?

And before anyone judges (like some mean girl on soc) I just want someone who understands, someone who relates and can tolerate my depression and possible PTSD. And I'd do the same for her. Also I live in rural England, which lowers my dating pool much more.

I don't care how much of a sad love it is....
(Crawling in my skin etc, etc...)

>tfw therapist said I'm too unstable for PTSD therapy

>>16513316
This was like the first time I heard of the existence of this boyfriend. I ignored it the rest of the evening though. Had a pretty fun time with her, she laughed a lot which surprised me because I don't consider myself to be a funny person. Walked back to the train station, talked a lot MORE, chit chat mostly. Hopped on the train, talked more, on the other side of the train was a guy who smiled while he watched us chat. When I got up and went to the doors because as I needed to get out, the guy stood up as well and said something to her. I couldn't hear so I later sent her a text message asking what the guy said but she never replied to that, so I assume it's something awkward to her. And before you say anything, I'll say what my comrades in arms have said regarding the BF: "Ein Grund, aber kein Hindernis." (A reason, but no obstacle.)

So, do I continue or abort? Because I've got an idea of what to do next. A factor is "Do I want to be that guy?" and so on.

>>16513319
>Where can I find crazy qts who were abused heavily by their own parents as children?
Battered women shelters, people from healthy families are less likely to stay in an abusive relationship for any significant period.

>>16513320
>So, do I continue or abort? Because I've got an idea of what to do next. A factor is "Do I want to be that guy?" and so on.
If she's going to cheat and be scummy with her current bf, she'll be scummy and cheat on you. Even if you discount the ethics of being "that guy", it's a bad still.

>>16513303
Do you watch alot of porn or masturbate excessively? If so, that shit can desensitize you from normal sex with your GF and that could be the reason you can't orgasm with her

>>16513384
Yes, I used to be unfortunately. When i'm not in a relationship I tend to rely a lot on porn.

The girl I'm gonna go out with loves to talk about or at least pretends to be into light S&M and spanking, she has no experience with it though, just movies and porn maybe.
Should I Spank her after first date, we do plan on making out and stuff.
Is there anything else I can do to make it exciting and for me to stand out from other guys she's met in past?
I really want to make a lasting impression.

Anyone can answer regardless of what you have in your pants. Thanks.

>>16513440
You might want to go and ask that from the bdsm thread on /d/.

>>16513438
I'm somewhat the same way, it takes me a long time to cum but I use that to my advantage. I make sure I give it to her just like she wants it and always bring her into an orgasm. Once she in that after orgasm state she becomes more than willing to try any and everything to get me to cum so I get to try a lot of my fantasies out in her.

>>16513440
I would suggest against it. When you bed her sure but not before

>>16512401
Both:

If a guy finds out that a woman used to be a man, is it evil of him to reject her?

>>16513464
No

>>16513464
As a woman who used to be a man:

If you really liked her up until you found out and she otherwise looks/sounds like a woman then maybe your reaction is just instinctual and you should give it a try before you immediately dismiss it.

If you genuinely hate the idea of dating any transwoman or don't find her remotely attractive anymore then no it's not evil, you can't help the way you feel and your feelings are as valid as hers.

>>16513322
I give up

>>16513440
I wouldn't suggest starting with spanking (as in a scene or even a brief over-the-knee session). I would, however, explore the idea through the vanilla route. Do grab her ass. Grope her possessively. Get a whole hand on her ass and pull her down to kiss you, and forcibly grind her against you. Give her a single playful spank, but don't double up or make it serious. Just a "mmm, I like your ass" smack really quick and go back to whatever you were doing. I would say the next move would be give her a massage and get her "warmed" up, and then try two or three spanks, maybe bite her ass cheek, and give it a solid grope and escalate that to sex. Have sex before you have a session unless she proves to obviously and exceptionally kinky. But play in simple spanking before stepping it up. Associate it with good things.

Ladies and gents, when dating a chick/dude, do you consider at all their past dating history and does it matter?

>>16513607
No. I don't want to know about it. He's who he is now and all i care about is the present and the future. i don't need to torture myselfe with imagine him being with another girl or think about the fact that he kissed a girl just like he now kisses me. Or that he said the same sweet things to somebody else already. Or that there might have already been a girl that he thought is the one. I can do without that, thank you.

Got lost in the heat of the moment and slept with a guy witheout protection. I have an IUD, so no problems. But everybody acts like this would be a big red flag and i don't want him to be weirded out by this. How bad did i fuck up?

>>16513699
Are you Aussie?

>>16513710
No. Would that make a difference?

>>16513714
Nah, without protection isn't too bad, a lot of guys would be pressuring for that
Is he someone who's a keeper or more a onenightstandthing?

I guess get it checked out nevertheless, you can never be too careful

>>16512865
Personally, I'd probably go ahead, no different from if she was cis, but then, I'm kind of weird.

>>16513720
He's definitely a keeper and i don't worry about std's at all. Mainly because i know i'm clean and because he's really not the kind of guy that sleeps around. It's more the fact that i don't want him to worry about me being cheap or something along the lines.

>>16513743
I don't get how doing it raw one time is a sign of someone being cheap, nah, don't overthink especially since you said it was in the heat of the moment.

All the best to the two of you!

>>16513750
Well, it was the first time we slept together. So there's that. But thank's for the heads up. This was reslly bothering me

>>16513750
Oh and also: i'm not sure if i should use protection next time or if that would be next level stupid...

>>16513766
>>16513758
No worries, yeah definitely use protection next time, concentrating on pulling out is fucking hard af and you probably don't want a kid at your age

Just mention it in a casual manner

>>16513781
I have an IUD, so pregnancy is not an issue. Or do you mean to be really sure?

>>16513766
>>16513758
Oh and it's not the end of the world or that entirely stupid for that matter, just be careful

>>16513790
Welp, i'm rather relieved. I tend to overthink

>>16513789
Yeah

These things happen and they're part of a passionate life, probably don't want to overdo it though

>>16513793
No worries

Have an excellent one

>>16513794
Overdo what?

Speaking of doing it raw, a week in to being with my girlfriend she wanted sex and told me she was on the pill to reassure me.

It didnt go ahead due to complications but further down the line we obviously have regular sex, but I always thought that in that moment it should have been a regular flag.

She was embarrassed as fuck at first because she thought I might think shes a slut wanting sex or forcing it on me so early, without protection to boot.

Is it worth it a year down the line getting checked out just for the sake of things? I mean shes a sexual person and I doubt she didnt have sex for a few months after her ex until we got together, so I doubt she used condoms then (when I assume she had casual sex) if she's been on the pill for years.

Guys or girls.

I keep seeing girls that are attractive and feel like I'm missing out. But I don't want to break up with my gf because she's great and would honestly be good wife/mother of my children material. Have you faced this? What happened?

I went out with a girl I sort of knew beforehand and we had such a great time that we retroactively called it a first date. The next time we met, we went to a mutual friend's house and made gingerbread cookies and then went to her house and talked/watched bad movies/cuddled. The third time, she wanted me to come with her to buy a mug for her friend because she doesn't like shopping alone, and that was just an hour long thing. These events happened over the span of 4 days, and now thanksgiving break is over and we have to go back to our respective schools.

We also both just came out of other relationships a bit over a month ago.

I can't shake this feeling that we're acting too familiar already when we still don't know each other that well. Is this what they call "moving too fast? Should I just ignore it?

>>16513878
A lot of people go through this I'd imagine. Even if nothings wrong in your relationship you can probably feel the grass is greener or you're missing out on something, and the fact is you are.

Imagine it like a game, you go down one path and you cant experience the rest of the other paths. Thats the price you pay but its hardly a price because the person you're with should be better than the others.

Dont get me wrong sometimes I see some really hot girls and I think I'd love to fuck them if I were single but at the end of the day it doesnt mean shit to me because of who I'm with.

Its just one of those things. Looking is free.

>>16513913
Roll with it. You can only go at your own pace and when you know someone beforehand you skip a lot of early day stuff. You'll get to know each other eventually.

How do I get past sexual anxiety? I am 21 years old (Male), only have had one sexual encounter in the past. I'm not ugly, in fact I have/continue to receive attention from reasonably attractive women. I can get dates and numbers, but invariably fuck it up when I spill my spaghetti.

In a nutshell, I don't know hot to get sexy and escalate without being awkward. I think I harbor this belief that no girl could possibly want to sleep with me, even though girls do give me attention and have even asked me out in the past

Should I see a therapist?

>>16513553
Thanks, it was useful advice

@guys

Would you ever dump someone over their career or intended career path? I'm currently in mortuary school and it really seems to alienate people, at least on a casual level.

>>16513985
>Would you ever dump someone over their career or intended career path?
yes
>mortuary
not for that one.

>>16513945
If this is something that you really do want to get over then you should spend some time thinking about why you feel the way you do. If you can't come up with any reasons try harder to come up with some, and if you still can't find any use that as proof that you can do it. Then you just make a leap of faith and do it with a girl you think is interested in you. Of course, she has to be willing.

>>16513932
Hmm. That's oddly soothing. Thank you.

>>16513985
Yes, but on very very specific career paths.

And im inclined to ask, what path in life brought you to mortuary studies?

>>16513985
definitely. mortician isnt a deal breaker though

>>16514019
the tl;dr of it is I took an aptitude test in highschool, got embalmer as a result, and loved the idea of funeral work after researching it.

The long version is I've always been interested in science and psychology and mortuary school is a solid blend of those things with some business knowledge thrown in. I enjoy helping people deal with difficult times and situations. I've also been a morbid little shit all my life and just find it absolutely fascinating. I'd like to eventually move onto medicine but I want a solid degree to fall back on should it not work.

>>16514037
Aptitude tests are quite interesting, i turned to be a lawyer or law material.

But unfortunately i have a lil bit of conscience left.

Though i guess if it provides good and steady work, plus an opportunity to advance to more desirable degrees then why would your spouse/partner be bothered by anything but the smell.

>>16514054
I haven't even begun the practicum part of my program yet. Everything is still theory so far but I've still had a few first dates/casual meetups that have gone south after I mention what I'm studying. I'm aware people are uncomfortable with the idea of death, especially in America. I just feel like this has gone past the point of bad luck with shitty people to a genuine trend.

What is it with guys wanting to know how many people you've had sex with previously? Why even ask when they'll just consider you a huge slut when you answer?

>>16514152
They're insecure, basically.

>>16514152
Morbid curiosity mixed with insecurity. Rare cases of self preservation do exist though. I mean it pays to know if your girlfriend used to have unprotected sex with random guys.

>>16514186
>Rare cases of self preservation do exist though. I mean it pays to know if your girlfriend used to have unprotected sex with random guys.
I'm sorry, but I don't buy that. It's not that difficult and offensive, and it's plain common sense to say, "hey, we should both get tested before we have unprotected sex". That's self preservation, asking a girl about her sexual history is not.

>>16513985
Do you have a qt gothic look?

>>16514152
If it's more than 0 you're not marriage material.

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This will sound stupid, but how do relationships work?
I've only ever been in one and that was way back in high school for a short period of about 6 months.

I'm 24 now and date plenty but never more than a 2 dates or so and some casual sex after clubbing.

I honestly feel dead inside most of the time I'm with women and when I do find a girl I enjoy being with I don't get nervous but I can't think of anything to actually talk about so things sort of die quickly.

Any ideas and/or an explanation on how you're supposed to feel around people? Anecdotes on how you started dating whomever are also very much welcomed.

Pic unrelated just beautiful af

>>16514231
Your question is pretty vague. Could you be more specific?

>>16514236
How do people go from first date coffee to actually dating long term? What do people talk about on dates until the get comfortable around each other? Random bullshit?

Idk it's difficult for me to put into words. I just don't connect with women on a level more than simple carnal attraction very often so when I do I want it to actually progress and I don't want to fuck it up.

Is it possible to give your partner ''too much'' time on their own?
I feel like the more I let them do their thing, the less they even want to spend any time with me at all. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.

>>16514249
I'm probably not the best person to answer this considering the only relationship I've ever been in started off as a good friendship, but I can try and answer this from what I know about my friends' experiences.

What happened for them (and most people, I imagine) was that they went on dates, got to know each other, talked/texted between dates, decided they like each other, and then eventually they had the "what are we?" talk and became 'official'. Idk, it's a pretty natural progression.

>>16514211
Yes because I am complete garbage but it's dramatically toned down in recent years, more dark palette librarian.

>>16512865
If she's had the surgery already what's the big deal?

>>16514255
You're fine bud, the fact that anyone replied is great.

Your answer honestly is what I've figured but I guess I was just hoping for an impossible omnipotent step by step guide on how to get to date 3.

Thanks for your help, I truly appreciate it.

Guys: is texting a guy "i'm going to sleep and dream about you" cute or cringy? I can't decide if it's too much

>>16514327
I personally wouldn't like it if it was a girl I had only been with a short time. But if you have been dating for a year or so, then I see no problem with it.

>>16514327
I'd say it's cute, though it depends how well I knew that person.

>>16514327
context is key
if he is just someone youre fucking, its cringey
if he is your bf, its fine as long as youre not piling on the sappy shit all the time

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What do girls care more about, a guys face or height?

5'6 and good looking or 6' and average face?

>>16514363
Which one are you?

girls: girl I'm dating asked me last night if I was a virgin before her, which I was, and I told her the truth. she seemed really nervous about asking, as she was hesitant for about 30 minutes before she did. I'm 21 and she's 19, what would you think about this? weird, cute? would you think less of the guy?

Flirting with a guy in my class, we sit together, I doodle about some really obscure science shit in my notes (no details since he goes on 4chan).

A few days later he suddenly has knowledge about weird obscure thing he may have seen me doodle about and talks to me about it when I mention it in passing.

Did he look this up and learn about it so he could talk to me about it? Would this be creepy? Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth?

hi girls, i feel so weird right now, so i hope you can help me...

so i went on omegle and was showing just my abs on there. a girl liked them and wanted to see more. it lead to cam sex and she came a couple of times... afterwards she wanted to see my face and agreed to repeat camming one day.

we switched to skype and i showed my face... right after that she hung up and deleted me. was it because im ugly, or did she never intended to stay in contact and was just curious how i look like? and no, cause of privacy reasons i wont post a pic.

>>16514370
doesn't matter...

>>16514376

maybe he just knew about it before? otherwise its not creepy, but kind of ridiculous he thinks stuff like this would get him a girl he likes... then he isn't really being himself, you know. thats what i would find weird. but how i said, maybe it's just a coincidence.

can you help me with that in return?
i
>>16514382

>>16514394
You're the short one, aren't you?

>>16514382
>am I ugly?
>but I won't post pics

Girls, what do you think of short guys? I'm only 5" 3' and I feel that it's a turn off to most girls

>>16514374
Depends. If I'm looking to date a guy long term, I wouldn't care if he was a virgin. If I was looking for a good friend with benefits, I would care if he was a virgin.

>>16514382
Maybe she knew you? Could also have been playing you, or you just weren't her type. Could have been a bunch of things, but we really have no way of knowing.

>>16514416
I'm 5'0", and honestly, that's a little too short for me. I could look past it if I really liked you, but given nothing but your height, I'd pass. Remember I don't speak for all girls though.

>>16514416
Honestly, why would I date a guy my height when there are plenty of other guys who are interested in me and much taller? Unless you had some sort of amazing personality or extreme compensation for your height, then no dice.

>>16514403
implying there is only one of me....there could be two of us.

answer please, k thnxs

>>16514424
There's only one of you. I'll take the taller, average one, thanks.

>>16514363
Unless the short guy is extremely good looking, the taller one

>>16513607
Yes, absolutely. Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. It can really tell about what kind of person they are, what values they have, and if we are compatible or not.

How do I know if s girl is generally touchy or there is something going on between us?

She doesn't mind at all when I touch her, to the point that I even spanked her ass without her saying anything.

How do you find common ground? Things to talk about?

The girl I'm dating has become very busy lately (really), and only talks about that workload of hers. When that topic is exhausted, I can't think of anything to keep things going. She goes 'wow' and just 'wow' if I bring something up of my own, and gives matter-of-fact answers if I ask about her instead. If I'm fooling around in an unserious mood, she's the very personification of serious.

How do I get through?

>>16514416
Why is this not in the OP yet, ffs.

>>16514382
>Girls please tell me what this one chick was thinking because obviously girls are a hivemind.

>>16514374
If we already had sex what does it matter?

>>16514363
Face. But I don't date guys 6' and taller unless they're exceptional in some way.

>>16513607
I do not want to know. Please don't tell me. Just present a clean STD test and we're golden. It is a problem if you've slept around so much that the whole town knows, though.

>>16514445
How does she act around her other friends? That's a pretty good tell.

>>16514452
What's going on in your life?

>>16514445
Generally if you've successfully spanked a girls ass, she either likes you or you just sexually assaulted her.

>>16514454
>Why is this not in the OP yet, ffs.
If we keep telling them we don't like short guys, eventually they'll shut up

>>16514363
I'm 5'8 and don't really have a conventionally attractive face, so I'd go with the guy who is the same.

>>16514407

thats why im asking girls, who maybe have explanations for that behaviour... some girls told me im cute, so a few positive judgements wouldn't matter anyway. i just feel like shit now and used... im not looking for the love of my life, but you can be a decent human being if you did something so intimate with someone, you know? :/ (and desu it did happen before with another girl, so im feeling rly insecure)

>>16514468
Dude, cam sex is hardly intimate. I am a girl, and I can't tell you if she stopped talking to you because you're ugly or what. There is literally no advice anybody could give you because we are not in the mind of that girl who stopped talking to you. Get over it and move on.

>>16514468

> not looking for the love of my life on omegle*

>>16514420
>>16514422
>>16514462
Yeah but why is it such a deal breaker? I get that it's just like one of those traits that's supposed to be seen as attractive like how men are hard wired to find wide hips attractive but can't women look past that? It just kind of sucks knowing that I'm stuck in a short body for the rest of my life that people will find unattractive on an instinctual level

>>16514445
the last time I spanked a girl's ass she had a crush on me. can't say I would've done it otherwise and without her spanking me first

>>16514452
ask her about her life. get to know her, and get her engaged. girls love talking about themselves

>>16514481
Two of those three posts say that having a good personality could compensate for it.

are bj's supposed to hurt? I got head last night and my dick is still sore and bruised

>>16514481
Men are put into the position of being the pursuers, and women are put into the position of being pursued. So of course men have the better ability to look past what they are naturally attracted to, because they don't have that many options. On the other hand, a woman has a much wider selection of suitable mates that she can choose from, so she doesn't necessarily have to look past things that she would find unattractive. There is a higher likelihood of being able to obtain a man who doesn't have that specific unattractive trait, such as being short.

>>16514481
I'm a guy but STOP THE WHINING NOW.
Seriously, get off of 4chan. Women irl are not that superficial as some of them on here.
I know a lot of dudes around your height who are in a happy relationship or even married.
Being insecure about it is the real dealbreaker here. Nobody wants to be around someone who complains about his height all the time.
Don't give a fuck and other won't either.

>>16514501
Holy fuck you're so right. I just need to stop giving a shit. Thanks

>>16514454
She isn't physical with them at all, whether they're male or female. That answers my question

>>16514457
She didn't mind at all :^)

>>16514483
It was pretty ballsy moment; no risk, no fun

>>16514501
>Women irl are not that superficial as some of them on here.
You're kidding, right? Most of us on here are pretty much normies, and we're just being honest because anonymity provides a shield. Girls irl won't actually say it, but they'll be thinking it, and their actions will show what they're thinking.

>>16514501
>girls are asked to give opinions on a superficial trait with no other context
>get called superficial when they're honest about it
And if you'd been following along, only the taller girl said that it was a compete dealbreaker for her, the others said that personality could make them change their minds. That's hardly superficial

>>16514520
>because anonymity provides a shield
That's why this manlet meme is a thing here. I've never seen it in real-life.

>>16514534
I didn't call you superficial. I simply stated that the femanons on here don't represent the actual female society out there. You would be naive to think that nobody on here is superficial in that regard.
Your opiniion =/= every woman's opinion.

>>16514455
Nothing too big. School, which I share with her so that's pretty easily exhausted. An academic interest in history and psychology, both of which I look into a lot. Vidya, movies and books. A bit of music I'm practising, but fail at for the most part. Lots of animal care, since my place is practically a zoo. The occasional theater or museum, which we used to go to together, but lately can't because of her tight schedule. Then there's shitposting on 4chan, which is an obvious no-go and I already try to limit.

>>16514486
That's what I've been doing. It worked like a charm when we first met and were going out, but her answers are all matter-of-fact and uncaring now.

Dont want to make a new thread for this so here it is. Dont think it's gender specific.

So i went on a date last week with a girl ive had interest in that i met in one of my classes. Only see her once or twice a week (comm. Col) but i felt there was mutual interest. We would always talk after class. I got her number and we texted for a bit.
So we went to go grab a bite and once we were going our separate ways i stole a kiss. She kissed me back but i went full retard and tried to kiss her again. I didnt spill soaghetti afterwards but we just kind of laughed it off and went our separate ways. After the date i texted her saying i had a good time but never heard back. It's been a whole week and i havent seen her (t.giving break). Did i fuck up by going too fast? What should i do if i see her again?

>>16514564
>Lots of animal care, since my place is practically a zoo.
There's an easy one. "hey, my cat/dog/vole did this funny/disgusting/weird thing". Psychology and history are good starters too - "hey, did you know that <interesting fact>?"

>>16514579
just act cool and ask her out again next time. depending on her answer you'll know if she's interested or not

ITT: girls are bitches

id date anyone (besides ugly and fate girls) showing interest in me JUST out of decency. the sex will make me fall in love anyway.

>>16514579
She sounds like a rude bitch, not worth your time. You didn't fuck up

Girls, do you find it strange to date someone younger? Like by a year or two? Most girls I know like older guys and will only date older guys.

>>16514664
I'd rather they be honest though. I don't want to hear a sugar coated answer, I want to hear what they really think. If they are normies, that means most girls out there will also think similar.

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Femanons

I'm a male in my mid-twenties. Apparently I'm not bad looking. I get a painful amount of inappropriate attention from teenage girls who are obviously under 18 (16 is legal in my state but anything under 18 is still potentially trouble). They're not the only ones, but they are the ones who actively bug me.

Do they understand that their attention could get me into trouble even if I don't do anything about it, or are they too young and caught up to realize it/care? Did you when you were that age?

>>16514697
Guy here. I'm 27, and dating a 22 year old. A somewhat famous local musician i listen to is 41 and dating a 20 year old. I can of a few of my friends with huge age gaps in their relationships (both on male and female friends). Don't think about it too much.

>>16514697
I prefer guys around my own age, not too much older or younger. I used to be against dating younger but honestly it was a stupid arbitrary limit. I'd give a younger guy a shot if we clicked well enough.

I have a question. Mostly aimed towards girls but I'm sure a few guys can punch in too.

What is the best way to initiate a conversation over the internet? Specifically: facebook. There is a girl I think is cute and we have mutual friends. I thought about getting my friend to get us together in public somehow but I'm way too spergy and socially awkward (especially in groups) for it to work in my favor.

I just want to know if its better to take it slow (just send a "hey" and hope she responds) or go all out (like "I think you're cute!")

I've had no success with the former and the latter actually ended up successful, atleast on tinder.

Just want to know what you think. I don't want to come off as too clingy but sending her too many messages.

>>16514761
Go with the second option, but follow up with a question

>>16514772
That could work. I can do that.
Are you sure?

>>16514761
I really think having your friend invite you both to some event would be best. It gives you a chance to try to see how well you two click without any expectations. If you message her on Facebook she's probably going to assume you're about to hit on her and you'll be easier to dismiss.

>>16514785
my friend is going back to uni for a while now. The girl is a year younger than I am.

>>16514376
He might have gotten curious senpai. People do that sometimes.
Though unless you labeled it how would he even google it?

>>16514327
>Guys: is texting a guy "i'm going to sleep and dream about you" cute or cringy?
Depends how much he likes you thb.

>>16514327
Like the other anons said, depends on your relationship with the person/how long you've been with them. When my ex texted me the following morning saying "I had a dream about you", it's kind of nice (considering I did some dream psychology back in college w/ Freud's meaning of dreams), but if we were just friends or had only started dating, eh. You've got to get the tone just right.

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fuck me. shit backfired. badly.

>texting crush
>wanna show i like her in the least creepy way
>get pic related error (not my pic, reddit is kill)
>text her "it's like time stops when i'm talking to you"
>send pic related
>expect some emoji or hahahah
>seen 40 mins ago; no response

Seriously, if she didn't like it she could at least give a friendzone response or something, not just flat-out ignore it. It's not like I told her that I love her, just sent her something she'd find funny enough to at least respond

>>16514871
Dude it's only been 40 minutes. She's probably busy.

>>16514664
You know that 'not fat and ugly' are most people's standards, right? You're not a martyr for dating anyone who's not fat or ugly, you're exactly the same as everyone else. Don't try and pretend you're someone special

To girls

If a guy you consider just a friend asks you if you would like to hang out sometime soon, how are you likely to respond?

I helped my crush preparing for her exam for 9 hours today and I asked her if she wanted to hang out during the holiday and she was like "Oh, I'm not sure when I am free." Should I just end myself? ;_;

>>16514881
She's stressed about her exam, and you expect her to think ahead to the holidays to find time to hang out with you?

>>16514881
Two scenarios here:

>It's the holiday break, she's busy and enjoying her few days off.

or

>She's not interested in hanging out because she only likes you enough to benefit from your helpfulness, but not enough to spend time doing "fun" stuff together. Because she doesn't consider you part of the "fun" category that she puts her friends in.

There's absolutely no way for any of us to know. Only you can know based on her usual responses, if she initiates conversations with you, if she gives signs of flirting through text and in person, etc. You have instincts, dude. You know the answer, we don't. So mull over the context clues you've been given recently and make your decision. If it seems she's not that interested and you're doing the majority of the effort, stop it. Stop it stop it stop it. No more. Stop talking to her.

>>16514871
If you know each other somewhat, and she doesn't find that funny, she's not really worth it

How to be less clingy in a relationship?

I'm having a hard time finding the right progress of thought to pull it off. I'm not that bad, but I sperg out occasionally when my partner has been busy for longer periods.I never get mad or argue over it, but get more flirty and cutesy over it. Which they don't usually respond to.

I can respect their space and time usually, it's just sometimes. I don't want to be annoying to them with my behaviour.

>>16514928

By having something to occupy yourself with, by trusting them to be sane human beings (and not backstabbing bastards/bitches), by realizing that despite the contacts with them being less than ideal they still care about you, and by living a fulfilling life first.

There are more, especially nuanced ones, but these are the main methods I found worked on my exes. Which are you struggling with?

>>16514497

No. Not at all. If any pain should occur, through a normal blowjob, it would be after you came and she still kept at it. Bruises are, especially, a no-no.

Identify the problem and correct it. Too much teeth? Too much suction? Death grip equivalent when handling it?

Girls, is it creepy if someone told you he's jealous of someone?

A girl I used to date (and haven't recently due to time constraints) has grown distant with me, but closer with this classmate of hers. Nothing's going on between them, but they're around each other all day, all week. Meanwhile, I have to do with 1 hour spread through the entire week, and even then I have to share it with that guy.

>>16515104
Yes, it's creepy and possessive.

>>16515116
Well, bad idea then.

probably a bad idea

(for guys)

what's the best way to work up from fingers when doing butt stuff?

This can be answered by anyone, just looking for tips.

When in a long distance relationship, how do you deal with lack of physical affection? Like not being able to cuddle or kiss?

I've 19 and never had affection like hugs before, even from my parents. My boyfriend might visit next year, but how can I get over this, or at least make it not be such an issue?

>>16514363
There are much more important things than a person's physical attractiveness

>dating three guys
>one is a 10/10 6'4" marathoner, built lean, very sexy face. All my friends had crushes on him when we were in HS, he now has an amazing job.
>he's very nice but we don't have much in common, often run out of things to talk about, never feel fully comfortable around him

>one is a 10/10 5'11" cyclist, built more muscular, very masculine chiseled face
>we share a lot of common interests but he's pretty vain, constantly talking about himself in lieu of having a real two-way conversation, again I never feel fully comfortable with him

>last one is 5'6" and overweight, maybe a 4/10, stuck in a mediocre job he hates
>we have common interests, friends, and experiences. He's kind and sweet, we stay up talking for hours, he has a unique point of view that fascinates me, and I feel completely comfortable and uninhibited with him.

Of course I pick the third man, it's not even a contest. Looks might help a man attract my initial attention, but ultimately nothing will make up for a lack of connection or shitty personality.

Girls, what's your opinion on dating a man who's bisexual? Does it matter to you?

>>16515582
Most people aren't 100% straight or 100% gay

>>16515582
I wouldn't do it. I have absolutely no issue with gay relationships or how someone identifies sexually, etc. They can do whatever makes them happy. I personally just feel weird about it. Could be a lingering remnant of a religious, southern upbringing. I dunno. But it just makes me feel weird. So I wouldn't date a bisexual person.

>am fairly attractive/cute guy
>make profile on OKC
>occasionally get messages from weird women who talk about how they're mentally ill in their profile descriptions

...Is this normal or am I doing something wrong? It's creeping me out. I know if you're a girl you get tons of weird guys messaging you, but I didn't think it was the other way around.

>>16515609
Okay, let me rephrase that. How would you feel dating a man who is comfortable, fantasizes or has had sex with another man

Girls if a guy is just sitting there right next to you doing nothing while you are hanging out with mutual friends do you think he's an idiot?

>>16515634
Same. Seems to be par for the course.

>>16515644
I'd probably think he was one of those annoying people who hover but don't make an effort to socialise

>>16515657
That assumption sounds like the perfect description of myself yet I hadn't realized until you put it into words. Thanks!
(no sarcasm)

>>16515667
If that really is what you're like, cut it out and make some effort to socialise. No one likes people who do that shit

>>16515389
Well if he's already OK with fingers I think you should just ask him if he wants to get a little more hardcore.

>>16515677
I tried to socialize with a certain person I was interested in. Having failed at that I found I was only able to sit there and stare at my failure. I'm not like that usually, only when there's a certain 1 person in the croud that takes my priority in socializing over the rest.

So it takes me like forever to cum, me and my gf just fucked for like 45 minutes and I didn't even come close to climax. It felt great, but didnt cum. I didnt even jerk off for like 5 days now. The fuck can I do?

>>16515708
thats actually great, most guys wish they could do that

>>16515714
Yeah except after a certain point my body is tired and I can't keep going anymore.

Girls, how much hair do you like on a guy's balls? Please be specific.

>>16515723
No preference, whatever you're most comfortable with

>>16515657
What about if they do try to socialize, but do a lousy job?

Same situation. They're talking about this topic I can't relate to much, and I get it a lot that I'm trying to ask what they're on about without actually contributing.

It's like a Mass Effect 'investigate' menu. Every damn time.

>>16515582
That's unattractive to me personally

>>16514697
im 21 and i my limit is 19 y/o.
18 would be kinda creepy.

>>16515616
>>16515749
That's weird to me. I would love to date a bisexual girl. The fact that they're turned on by other girls turns me on.

>>16515828
Some girls aren't turned on by homosexual relations between men despite liking men. it's just a thing

Male here

How important is having things in common with a female?

I'm also unsure if I'm a bad conversationalist or if I just prefer to have long discussions with someone about stuff. Any thought or insight?

>>16515840
Being able to hold a conversation is more important than common interests

>>16515844

What if she's just a dud?

>>16515846
If either of you are a dud, then it's not going to work out, is it?

>>16512401
I have feelings for this guy, but he is a single father with two kids from his previous marriage (his wife passed away). Should I ask him out?

>>16515891
How do you know him?

>girl from work sees me on her way out
>first words out of her mouth are apologizing for not having makeup on

Does this mean anything or am I overthinking it?

>>16515902
I met him in a language class.

>>16515840
Very important

>>16515840
very important
it is like making friends. you want to have similar hobbies etc

>>16515914
How long ago did his wife die? You don't want to make a move too soon.

>>16515943
Four years ago

>>16515956
That's enough time. Ask him out.

How do I tell if an older lady (late 20s-30s) is interested in me (21)?

>>16515967
He has kids though.

>>16514481
Women here tend to exaggerate a lot. Probably because they knew they won't be held accountable with any of the shit they say. On the flipside I doubt r9k posters are vocal about how they hate roasties or whatever the fuck.

If even a quarter of what they said was true on here I'd probably die alone, but my own experience flies counter to that. Its only going to be a significant problem if you keep focusing on it.

>>16513985
Kinda weird, but that career isnt a deal breaker. Something like feminist dance therapy sure as fuck would be one though.

>>16514152
Curiosity, mostly. It's like clicking a link even if you know it'll make you uncomfortable because it has some gross medical procedure behind it.

>>16514191
>It's not that difficult and offensive, and it's plain common sense to say, "hey, we should both get tested before we have unprotected sex"
Funny thing, I actually follow that rule and women usually seem to take it as me calling them a slut or whatever for the most part. Like for all they know their ex was cheating and caught something.

>>16514260
You sound like the type of girl I'd be into. I'm not a goth or emo myself, but I your career choice is rather fascinating.

>>16513985
Potentially, if I thought it wouldn't jive with my expectations of married life, but I wouldn't have a problem with a mortician.

>>16514152
Same as the girls who ask: insecurity.

>>16516006
Just because he has kids doesn't mean he can't date.

>>16516070
Well, isn't it somewhat less desirable to date someone with kids?

>>16513743
As a man I really don't understand this. I've had this experience from multiple women and they all think they are easy or cheap. Honestly you're going to be the one that acts wierd not him.

>>16514231
I'm in the same position. 24 and my longest relationship was less than three months. I have been called an emotionless monster on more than one occasion. As lame as it sounds; it's starting to get to me.

>>16515104
I'm a guy who confronted my gf of 4.5 years about a situation like this. We just started at uni and hadn't really been interacting much, meanwhile she's spending every moment with this other guy who's in all of her classes. I confront her about seeming super chummy with him and she dumped me. It became apparent within the next week that she got together with this guy as soon as she made herself available.

Your situation may be different. Fuck man, 4 years undone in a couple of weeks. That's the waaaaaaay the news goes.

>>16516154
Dating a single parent comes with extra stress. If you don't want to handle it, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But if you're worried about social pecking order as it seems just leave him alone.

1.) Do women think that nice guys are stupid?
2.) Is PTSD or mental illness [normally] a deal breaker [dating]?
3.) Does direction in life have to be financially related or socially important for a prospective mate?

>>16516154
yes.

In a convo with a friend
This chick when looking at me will start to kiss her arm
Wat?

>>16516411
>1.) Do women think that nice guys are stupid?
'Nice Guys' or nice guys? And stupid in which sense?
>2.) Is PTSD or mental illness [normally] a deal breaker [dating]?
Not a dealbreaker depending on the illness, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't work against you
>3.) Does direction in life have to be financially related or socially important for a prospective mate?
Again, what do you mean by this?

If you want proper advice and opinions, you should post your situation instead of asking abstract questions

>>16516422
I'm not [trying] being abstract. I'm a guy.
Scientifically I think researchers/doctors have concluded that men are usually more straightforward thinking.
So I what I'm trying to say is that generally, when a guy asks a question, he usually [statistically] means "assume that what I'm saying applies in the most common straight forward understanding of the topic at hand."

That said, I'll expand:
>'Nice Guys' or nice guys? And stupid in which sense?
Meaning guys that try not to be controlling.

>[Financial/socially important]Again, what do you mean by this?
Meaning do women automatically reject guys that aren't focused on financial gain or socially important [pseudo-humanitarian/braggart] showboating? In related to their respective life goals?

[I apologize for my snotty tone btw, I've been arguing with people online about the effects/affects of gossip and false accusations.]

>>16516432
>Scientifically I think researchers/doctors have concluded that men are usually more straightforward thinking.
This doesn't change the fact that you're not very good at explaining what you're talking about

>Meaning guys that try not to be controlling.
So genuinely nice guys? The vast majority? I like them, assuming your definition of nice guys is what you just defined them as. Why wouldn't I?

>Meaning do women automatically reject guys that aren't focused on financial gain or socially important [pseudo-humanitarian/braggart] showboating? In related to their respective life goals?
Again, that's a little vague. What are YOUR aspirations?

>>16516447
>This doesn't change the fact that you're not very good at explaining what you're talking about
Interesting, as I've never been told I've been vague before. Perhaps I rely too much on my tone and inflection IRL.
When I speak, I'm always literal and direct.
I don't have time for nuanced nonsense as I'm not 15 and trying to impress people with implications and symbolism.
Nice means nice. It never means anything else.
Too much of time has been completely wasted on humans playing around with guessing games.

As for aspirations?
I was very ambitious, but particular parties socially undermined me to a point that I can't contribute, travel, explore or support what I would like to in any capacity, other than via minimal donations or social support [which is meaningless due to the social undermining, damaging my reputation].

The question was about money and popularity.
It was rather direct and straightforward.
I mean what I say and say what I mean, without any room for guesswork.

I'm a literalist.

>>16516485
You sound far too pretentious to date.

>>16516490
I would think someone that plays around with nuance and games would be pretensions.
I'm just a direct literalist. I pretty much expect all adults to be literalists when discussing things; nuance is for playing around or sensitive social situations.
I don't believe I'm exceptional in any way.
Just a bit tired with everyone pretending to be 13.
Imagine a world where everyone stopped playing games and wasting time when people discussed things.
>No time wasted on discussion?
Yes.
Imagine.
If not being retarded on purpose is pretentious, then I guess I'm pretentious.
Is it too much for me to ask everyone to act their age?

Femanons, if I'm feeling it and its been a fun date, how do I know if I should go for a kiss or not? Not going to force it but asking is also ridiculous.

>>16516499
just go for it. laugh it off if she shuts you down

>>16516411
>Do women think that nice guys are stupid?
No they think guys who are "nice" up until they find out the niceness wasn't paving the way towards sex, are stupid.

>Is PTSD or mental illness [normally] a deal breaker [dating]?
In general, yes. A lot of people don't understand those things and connect mental illness and violence. Best bet is finding someone who has been through similar. Make sure you're getting help rather than just looking to date someone to save you, that'll give you the best chances.

>Does direction in life have to be financially related or socially important for a prospective mate?
What matters is that your direction in life is the same as your partner's, if their direction in life is financially or socially driven then there's a good chance they won't be accepting of yours. Find someone with the same direction in life. Not everyone wants fame and fortune.

Didn't feel like this deserves its own thread

Girls and guys- I have this tendency that if I'm talking to a girl I like, and catch on that she may like me I purposefully say things to friend zone myself. I do it everytime. I'm not attractive. So I think the fact that someone may have interest in me truly bothers me.

How do I get over this?

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>>16516499
>>16516515
Related question: If I go for a kiss, am turned down but the girl wants to do a second date, when should I try again? She said that it takes her time to warm up to new people and I don't want to push her, so what do?

>>16516557
I wanna mention that I don't mean to try again in the second date. I mean if we go on multiple dates...

>>16516544
Realize that you judge yourself harder than anyone else does. Attractiveness is subjective and is more than just skin deep. There's that saying you have to love yourself before loving someone else. And that's the reason it's true. If you love someone without loving yourself, it ends up one sided. You give all of your love but you close yourself off from accepting any. Because you don't think you deserve it. That's your thoughts and your perspective though, others don't necessarily share it. Work on building self esteem and confidence. There's no quick and easy way around it.

>>16516560

It's just like a circle of shit for me.

depression--> be not smart-->suppression of appetite--> be skinny fuck (5ft 11inch 145lbs)--> try working out to get better shape but can't cause I'm not consuming enough food for intense workouts--> depression intensifies

>>16516571
Stop hating yourself. Look into CBT.

How often do you stay in touch with your girl/boyfriend?

My girlfriend's very busy and complete days go by without a word from her. If I text or call she responds, but answers are short and matter-of-fact. When calling, she breaks off within a little over a minute.

>>16516574

What is CBT?

And it's hard. I haven't gained any weight in 3 years. It's embarrassing really. And it makes me feel worse if I know someone likes me because i feel substandard, or undesirable. I wouldn't date me.

>>16516585
I hate being on the phone and probably do the same to get off. I do text lots though.
If I'm not with my boyfriend I am usually talking to him via text, if we didn't for a while I wouldn't think there was anything bad.
Comparing it to someone else's relationship and how much they text is silly though, it doesn't mean anything.

>>16516597
All of this

>>16516485
> I'm a literalist.

You're literally autistic senpai desu (This is a meme/joke implying there's mentally something wrong with you)

Go to therapy. (This is not a joke, metaphor, exaggeration, innuendo or whatever, just honest advice)

I hope this is bait and there are no real people like this

>>16516589
Cognitive behavioral therapy. It changes how you think about yourself. Most therapists know how to do it.

Girls. Out in the world is there a way that a guy can let you know he's interested in you or something without coming off as a creep or just starting?

>>16516622
I told me cashier I thought she is really cute and was wondering if I could get her number. She said yes and we had a fun date the other night. That's one way. But I'd be hesitant to encourage this specifically cause hitting on girls at work is tricky and they may have to be friendly cause theyre at work.

>>16516620
CBT is such boring bullshit.

>>16516620

I appreciate the advice, but I'm reading about that program right now on wiki and I don't think I feel comfortable discussing a lot of these things with someone in person. It's easier to talk to you all.

>>16516622
Ask questions and listen to the answers. It's the best way to show anyone you're interested in them.

>>16516633
You're right. Why help yourself if its "boring"?

>>16516633

Why do you say that?

>>16516641
You're focusing on the boring & not the bullshit.

>>16516637
Everyone has some level of discomfort when discussing personal stuff with a stranger, anon. Why do you think hold therapist s have board games and toys in their offices? So the child can bond with and feel more comfortable. A therapist isnt gonna tell you to tell them your darkest secret. I'd say give it a try, what do you have to lose? If you dont like it. You can stop anytime. Most insurance covers it too.

>>16516652
Child* damn phone.

>>16514363
Height

>>16516650
Bullshit how?

>>16516652

I'll look into it alittle more then I guess. I saw they ask questions about suicide. And that bothers me because I don't want anything going onto medical records. I'm really concerned about stuff like bad depression and thoughts of an hero on medical records fucking up a future job.

>>16516660
That shit is confidential anon. And It's a basic question all mental health doctors have to ask. Just say no. If you say yes, and they think you are an immiediate danger to yourself or others, they'll get the cops to take you to the hospital. Ive called the cops on myself once (released a couple hours later) and have called them on my mom cause she was threatening to kill herself and spent a week in a psych ward. My advice is to always say no. But don't be afraid to say how depressed you are to a therapist.

>>16516673

I'm just worried about the depression and stuff because the job I'm trying to do requires a thorough medical examination including mental health. So I'd be worried about them pulling my mental health records and seeing "depression and anxiety". I don't take my feelings to work with me, but they practically rape me when I'm off work.

>>16516693
> pulling my medical records

In what shitty country do you live in that this is legal?

>>16516693
What job are you trying to do? Unless it's clandestine cia shit, you're probably worrying for nothing.

I want to ask a girl with Aspergers where we stand. We went out a few times, and now that she has a lot of work to do, she has become very distant and uninterested. I want to know if it's genuinely the work or because she lost interest.

Thing is, I never see her alone in person anymore. She is an aspie though, so does it matter? Should I skip on trying to find her alone, and just ask her over text?

>>16516704

US Government

>>16516715

I'm going to apply for Federal Air Marshal (fly armed, undercover on US commercial airlines to prevent terrorism) and Nuclear Materials Courier with the Department of Energy (convoy around the US in armored vehicles and protect nuclear material while in transit). Both of those jobs do a mental health screening.

>>16516727
Is there someone with a similar job you can ask?

>>16516773
If its any consolation, my day was an aircraft mechanic in the the military and he was fucking nuts (paranoia, schizophrenia and bipolar).

>>16516789
Dad*

>>16516773

I know a few SENPAITACHI, they have been really helpful to me in general, but I feel kinda uneasy asking about mental stuff. I know the SENPAI Service takes mental health very seriously because there has been a bunch of suicides the past year.

>>16516792

Wtf. It was suppose to be F-A-M short for Federal Air Marshal. Fuck these stupid filters

>>16516792
>>16516794
Holy keks

Anyone have experience with this kind of thing? I am pretty awkward and not social at all, but I want to connect. My coworker is pretty religious but genuinely kind and patient. I asked if he would be interested in having a girlfriend and he said he had too much going on in his life, which is not a lie. He is midtwenties amd has never been with a girl.

I want to talk and get closer but he seems like a fairly solitary person, and usually sits off by himself. After being rejected already, is hanging around going to get on his nerves? He always seems eager to talk when I talk first but I am very bad at talking first and am pretty traditional, I like the guy to take the lead. He also behaves like a shit on occasion and I am told that it is flirting, but I really don't know anything about that. He was homeschooled and shows a lack of sexual interest in much anyone, which is positive for me as I am pretty much not sexually charged either. We don't seem to have much in common other than our job and our personalities.

If I want to approach again, how should I do it? Or should I just leave him alone?

>>16516830
You were rejected. If what you want is more than a casual work friendship, you should just move on.

>>16516799

:/

>>16516834
So "I have a lot going on right now" when he works a full time job and additional part time job and has family issues is an absolute rejection? I can't tell if I was rejected or not. He is definitely not the average guy and has declined to answer even his relationship status to other girls. I told him to keep it in mind for later and he seems a lot more comfortable around me.

I'm a 28 kv. Been happy like that until recently the urges of not becoming a wizard took over. Trying tinder but so far, only a couple of dates that went nowhere.

Any advice on what to do? I'm not expecting sex only but something more steady too.

Newest match is qt but also 10 years younger. I think I just feel intimidated because of my V tag, but hopefully you anons can give me some tips

When should I tell a girl I love her? I've been with here for a month, and I know I love her. But I don't want to come on too strong

to both: when is the right time to ask for a girls/guys number?