Okay /adv/ here's the quick version. I judged a family member for doing something that pissed me off about two years back but never got to say anything because I'm not good with that kind of thing.They all make me feel like shit for judging them and they might disown me. What fuck do?
Need to know specifics in this context friend.
>>16510462
You're going to have to get more specific OP, what did they do, will your Entire family disown you, why the fuck do you give a shit about people that disregard your feelings and can't anticipate something that will bother you for years without you having to spell it out for them, etc...
>>16510497
>>16510497
I normally don't give a shit when people disregard their feelings, but these are more than people to me, they're family. So they pretty much laughed this picture that I despise and I finally got my shit together enough to say "Why would you laugh at that" and they got all pissed about it.
>>16510532
"Family" is not an excuse for being a shitty human being. Your relationship with them is completley voluntary and you are allowed to have standards in this relationship. You have no obligation to family for the sake of them just being family.
>>16510538
So what should I do? Tell them that I'm pissed and I think they're wrong for getting all defensive?
>>16510548
Don't immediately attack them for their actions but genuinely explain your feelings and your perception of the situation. Find an opportunity to give your complete side of the story. Avoiding blaming people and focusing on your feelings will help keep the conversation accessible for those involved. If you lay out the problem with a road to the solution it can be solved.
If your family can't allow you to atleast give you the chance to express your self and puts you down farther then they are no family at all and have no interest in your well being.
>>16510564
That....that's some really great advice thank you. Okay I'm going to try it, I'll keep you posted.
>>16510574
Are you going down stairs to talk to them right now? If so good luck m8. Like I said, immediately assigning blame will ruin a good conversation even if the blame is righteous. The person who committed a wrong doing should hopefully see what went wrong after you explain your feelings and perception fully and come forth with an apology.
>>16510462
Learn more about psychology
>>16510589
Good news. We talked things out, I said I was going to be more open with my feelings and they said sorry for getting so hostile and calling me a bitch.
>>16511070
Nice 1 m8! I've been monitoring the thread hoping for good news. I'm glad my advice worked
>>16511557
Thanks a bunch, I learned a lot about myself through the talk too. I've got a long ways to go in my life.
