How To Let Go
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
>meet a really cool girl while away on an internship
>We click instantly and start hanging out all the time
>She eventually turns me down but we remain tight friends, tell each other everything, flirt here and there but it never leads to anything, I pursue other girls
>months pass and a friend of hers from back home also joins the internship
>They start hanging out all the time
>Eventually she begins to text less and less, never hits me up unless she needs something, I'm always the one initiating conversations
>I confront her about it and she says there's nothing special between them, it's just that she's homesick and he's a friend from home
>they still get closer and we get more and more distant
Honestly I feel...kinda used. It'still not even so much the fact that I like her as it is that I feel completely and utterly replaced by this guy. I've lost a few good friends like this recently...It hurts to lose one more.
Should I let her go? I'm leaning toward it. How do I accomplish it?
And I realize I come off as a bit needy but she is the exact same damn way with people
sounds like you need someone to feel validated
thats your problem. you dont like yourself enough
>>16504914
What makes you say that? I have been told this before but I don't know where or how I would go about starting to like myself
>>16504919
because you are broken up about a relationship you never had
liking yourself is part of maturity. you shouldn't need someone else to pat you on the back when you do a good job, your own approval should be enough.
are you happy with who you are? if yes, good nobody should make you feel bad for not liking you
if no, figure out what you don't like about yourself and make life choices to correct it.
On to the next one. You are only upset because you are coming from a mindset of scarcity. But there are TONS of girls out there. So just start talking to more and more and eventually you will laugh at your former self that cared about this girl. Trust me i've been ther.
>>16504980
Pretty much this, also, you was a beta orbiter to her, now that she found someone better, she got bored of you, you should have cut off contact with her when she turned you down, staying friends just confirmed her thoughts about you.
>>16505087
I fully intended to but she pulled this whole routine of "oh no, you're such a good friend please don't leave me" and made a big thing of it. I guess I fell for it.
>>16504887
>Honestly I feel...kinda used.
That's because you're an idiot. She clearly let you know she wasn't interested in you romantically and now that she's spending more time with another dude you're getting jealous?
She has every right to spend as little or as much time with whoever she wants. She owes you neither her time nor her affection and she shouldn't be made to feel guilty just because you can't get over yourself.
This has nothing to do with her friendship and everything to do with your childishness. If you weren't interested in this girl romantically you wouldn't give two shits who she spends her time with or how much time she spends with them.
She doesn't like you dude, move on. She doesn't owe you any explanation for the way she decides to live her life.
>>16505534
It's been hard to get over because like I mentioned, every time I would bring up hanging out less or not being friends anymore she would get really panicky about it. Like literal panic attacks if I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore.
But you're right. I'm a dumbass for being jealous about this. That's why I want to figure out how to best let go of her.
>>16505512
you didn't make yourself an orbiter but you were complicit in the process. She in fact insisted that you hang about and for your own sappy reasons you decided to go along with it.
As has been mentioned, ABUNDANCE will solve this! Just see more people and don't get hung up on girls who turn you down.
