While in Uni (2 years ago) I entered a stand up comedy competition on a whim because I am a comedy fan. One thing lead to another and I won the whole thing. I had only done a single gig before entering and had beaten people who had devoted years to it.
Immediately big agencies who signed large comedy names got in touch with me and I had several meetings with them. I am from a small farm in the countryside and it has always been my dream to have a small farm with cows, goats, sheep, etc, and grow old with the person I love. I hate travelling and going away from home. Stand up comedy means travelling from approximately 5pm 5 nights a week and getting home at 2am. The nights you AREN'T travelling you are writing your material. You don't go outside, you don't have free time, it is your entire life.
I do not want that life, I have never wanted it. I like comedy, I entered the competition for the large cash prize and to have a laugh, I surprisingly won, and I wanted that to be the end.
My mother however, does not. Despite making fun of me for entering and urging me not to do it as I'd make a "fool" of myself, she will NOT allow me to quit comedy. She will not talk to me without immediately pushing me to get back in contact with the agencies. This has been every communication with my mum for the past 2 years. I say something like "did you have a good day?" and she will reply "no, because you've thrown away your life" I then explain why exactly I do not want a life doing comedy on the road, and she "disagrees."
I want my mother back. How do I hammer it home that I DO NOT want to sell my soul for money? If it helps, for most of my life I was a suicide risk and she is aware. I am trying hard to have happiness in my life and she says that happiness is not important, only a lot of money. She said you make money to have happiness later.
TLDR: Mum won't talk to me without telling me to commit to an all-consuming lifestyle career that I do not want
i would stop talking to my mother if i were you, she sounds toxic af
>>16503082
I love her and its important to me to have a mother figure in my life. I struggle a lot without having a maternal figure
>>16503089
Then get a girlfriend with an attitude and big titties you kuck
>>16503096
I am female and already in a long term relationship (another reason I am against this life, I do not want to spend 95% of my life away from him) but it does not fill the mum shaped void
>>16503089
it doesn't sound like you have a maternal figure right now
To be honest the whole story sounds pretty funny, it could be one of your stand up acts.
>>16503106
I never thought of it like that. It's hard to tell myself that just because she is my biological mother that her behaviour isn't always okay. My boyfriends gets really fucked off whenever I speak to her and has banned me multiple times from contacting her for periods of time but when she texts me she lures me in with "How are you doing?" and I can't help but reply and it quickly descends into the usual "look how much you've thrown away!! i'm so ashamed!!!" from her. I can't help myself
>>16503109
Usually people have to fight their parents to believe in them finding a career in arts like comedy, music, etc. Mine are trying to fucking drag me into it kicking and screaming
>>16503115
>she lures me in with "How are you doing?" and I can't help but reply and it quickly descends into the usual "look how much you've thrown away!! i'm so ashamed!!!" from her. I can't help myself
this is textbook emotional abuse man. could you befriend an older woman, or find a mentor maybe?
>>16503128
This is a stupid question but I honestly don't know. Is it still abuse if they don't KNOW its abuse? I tell her how it makes me feel but she doesn't listen, she honestly shuts it out, so in her brain she doesn't know how it makes me feel. Is it still abuse? This must sound so stupid but its so hard to not try to justify everything she does.
The only woman I can think of is my boyfriend's mother. He assured me that soon she would be like a motherly figure to me. However she's pretty cold and frosty and not even overly maternal to him, her own kid.
This sounds ridic but sometimes I know people have waifus, I've tried to force myself to imprint on a character like that but in a maternal way. I can't do it though, its just not the same
>>16503136
>Is it still abuse if they don't KNOW its abuse?
yes. it's not like abusers generally plan out how their dynamic with their victim is going to play out, but it's how it plays out that determines whether the relationship is abusive or not.
have you considered a therapist? i'm speaking from experience but their demeanor can feel very motherly.
>>16503128
>>16503147
You're overly-dramatic and trying to demonize her mother, please fuck off.
>>16503147
I hate therapists, have had very negative experiences with them. I don't think its their fault, its just the atomsphere doesn't sit right with me. Really for the time being I just need a way to fix the mum I already have
>>16503261
You can't fix her. She'll only continue to bring you down with her.
Drop the cunt. She's no mother to you.
>>16503266
I recently quit my job after something happened which I don't want to get into, but basically I had to quit cause it was absolute shit tier job. She then paid my rent up for the next six months. There's no way I can cut her off
>>16503172
not really. maybe i'm overly dramatic, sure, but if it's distressing enough to op that she'll post about it i'll take her seriously.
the quotes from her mother are very consistent with what emotionally abusive family members say.
why don't you tell us why you think i'm wrong?
>>16503261
that's pretty hard to do. maybe whenever she brings it up just tell her you don't want to hear more about it and hang up if she doesn't stop?
