21 year old girl. Raped for years by my cousin. I dropped out of college to take care of my mental health. How do I tell my mum?
>>16502484
That your cousin was a lucky man
your mom has no idea you left school?
did she know you were having trouble
Why do you feel telling her the truth will have a negative impact on your life ?
>>16502504
She did notice I was feeling unwell and having moodswings so she does know something's up.
>>16502509
Because I will transfer all this negativity onto her. Because I don't know how she might react. Because it means I have to relive all of it.
It's such a large bomb to drop onto someone that it wouldn't make sense if I wasn't terrified.
>>16502514
So why can't you just tell her ?
As your mother, her first instinct would be to help you and ensure your protection and healing, surely ?
>>16502525
Honey the first step in having a problem is admitting the problem exists. You cannot possibly handle this yourself. No fucking way. You need help and lying to your mother will only further alienate you from the one person that wants to help you the most. Absolutely nothing good will come out of that.
Sure the situation is negative, and she'll be sad to hear what you have to say. But do you think lying and hiding is any better ? Rather, if what you're saying is you're lying for her sake, which of those two options do you think she'd prefer : find out years later that you've lied to her for a long time about your suffering and social condition, or you coming to her for help ?
"Hey mum guess what your family member did this to me."
As if it is that easy. It is unfair that I have to deal with this in the first place.
>>16502556
Nobody said it's easy, but its what you have to do to solve this situation. The longer you put it off the longer everyone suffers. Not just you btw but the people that care about you too, and whoever your cousin will possibly molest in the meantime.
I understand the burden is heavy, but you need to understand that there is no other way to solve this. You didn't want this to happen to you, but now that it did, you have to take the steps to get better and protect your family from this sociopath or you're just reinforcing the idea that he can get away with it.
You gotta sit down with her and tell her straight up what happened OP. If you don't think you can actually say it to her face you need to use a therapist by proxy. It's not fair to rag on someone and not let them know what the real problem is. She could easily think it's her fault.
>>16502484
Uh dude, you need to tell your mom, and you need to tell the women's services at your college to intervene in behalf of your mental health
My sister works for women's public health in the United States, are you located there? put a throwaway email and I can PM you her info
