>I like grill
>Pretty sure grill likes me, I just have to make more of an effort to get closer

>Girl is very reserved in terms of relationships, word is never had one
>My entire sexual history is slutty girls that made it very easy to approach

HALP
Uncharted territory

I really like this girl and it would be nice if I could sleep with someone that would actually stick around the next day

I hate my life. I hate my daily routine. I hate school. I hate my job. I know I have to do all this. The worst thing is, the only thing I can think of that would be worthwhile to live isn't feasible. I just want to stay home, sleep when I want, research things I'm interested in, leave a language, create music, drawings, breed fish and reptiles, grow plants, take pictures. I wish I could devote my time to my passions. But it feels like I have none. The soul has been sucked out of me. I have no drive, no energy, even on days off I can't bring myself to do things I once enjoyed. Most days I have to spend a half hour working up the drive to even get up and go to the bathroom. I know I'm depressed. I just don't see it getting better. I just want to die. I can't do anything except ache and feel anxiety and despair.
I'm so behind.
Why can't I just die?

I fucked up with a girl that I really would have liked to date. I put too much pressure on starting a relationship that she wasn't ready for. I would care for her so damn much if only she would let me. Why do I feel so needy for affection from girls, is my self esteem really that low I need constant reinforcement that I am not a complete failure.

I'm more and more realizing this place is shit, and a lot of the people on it are shit. Even the niche boards I enjoy are 90% shitposting, with very little discussion about the subject matter. 4chan really got up its own ass with this freedom to just call everyone a faggot or nigger.

What I used to enjoy about this place was that people can speak their minds with no identity attached. But it'd be so much better if people used it for something else than just channeling their Id into the internet.

>>16499418
speaking about changing the subject u just totally did dude

Need some quick advice please help. I'm addicted to porn and masturbation. To the point of doing it 3 times a day, as soon as nobody's around, all the time. I feel drained a bit of energy and I don't think it's healthy. I'm also developing weird tastes in porn I don't like. I really want to stop this. I've read your brain on porn, nofap, all that stuff, but jacking off just feels so fucking good. I can't stop.

Please help me stop!

I'm losing and going to lose a lot of shit thanks to the stuff that's bothering me. People have taught me to ignore it, and my mom doesn't believe in mental illnesses so I never got checked or anything like that. Therapist are fucking useless as far as I know, and my life is seemengly going downhill even if it seemed to be good for an instant.

This shit is getting in my way and I don't know how can I evade or overcome it, every situation in life, I've endured, but then when I'm alone I start thinking about why did it happen or if I was destined to suffer like an idiot.

Physical appearance, public behaviour, relationships, whenever I start liking/caring about a girl, I start seeing my own faults automatically.

Never let depression take a hold of you, fight it and it doesn't matter if you lose at the end, you did all you could.

I'm trying not to be scared or worried, trying to stay hydrated and rest and recover. That's something right? I hope I heal

I don't know how to let my bf go. I love him so much.....

I got with my gf 2 years ago and she put on 40lbs (now 175lbs) and I fucking hate it

We get on extremely well but my constant urge to have sex with other women and break up with her will not disappear

she has been 'dieting' for about 6 months and lost 8lbs with absolute minimal effort and it is the most infuriating thing i can imagine, all can think about is the fact she will never be skinny and has the willpower of a toddler seriously cant go being 'hungry' for a single second

I cant break up with her because her life would literally fall apart and she would never recover

but I still cant accept her shitty attitude and lack of sex appeal

I am also now in a position where she can sense I no longer feel as strongly about her as I used to (which she seems to interpret as taking her for granted) so any mention of her eating habits is met with hostility so I just shut up instead of hurting her when she wont even do anything about it but go crazy at me

We eat healthy and she goes to the gym but she literally cant cope with being hungry and eats cereal 2-3 times a day along with a lunch and dinner, no junk, and she goes the gym but burns 100cals at most meaning theres barely anything i can do to help from that point of view

literally what the fuck do I do apart from break up with her, destroy her life live with guilt for the rest of mine, and lose my best friend?

>>16499749
she'll get over you, I promise that.
just get it over with you prick

I have a pencilpenor so I just jerk off and disregard sexual advances.
I'm 19.
What a life.

>>16499919

Sucks to be you brah

>>16499259

Armchair psychologists and projection addicts in these threads sure do not know anything about who or what they're talking about. Reminds me of a guy named blue and his blue cohorts from effiel 65. Yes it was a catchy song but it also covered depression and projection as well. Over all I would recommend this song to armchair psychologists and projection addicts worldwide.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc

"Psychological projection, also known as blame shifting, is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unpleasant impulses by denying their existence while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude."

>>16499259

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MtSzpKiARrI

:end of posting in thread:

I fell asleep halfway through. Sorry, I was tired from work and it was so late at night. I woke up and couldn't remember what we watched. I saw your note and laughed my ass off. Thanks fuckface.

I used to enjoy this cafe when it was quieter. I'm too introverted for this shit.

how do I stop being guilt tripped into thinking every decision I make is wrong

>>16499943
I have no idea why you post this every thread, but I like the song

College sucks, but the wifi is great.

I've built an emotional wall around myself to keep myself from women. Its incredibly lonely inside my walls. Every time I break them down and get to know a girl I'm interested in, the outcome reinforces the goal of building higher walls.

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>>16500334
iktf

Really looking forward to Christmas but, fuck, it's so expensive.

I keep meaning to pick up a new outfit or two so that my wardrobe is up to date. The problem is that I'm torn between how I want to dress. I'm 21 but it feels as if I'm dressing like a 30/40 year old.

It's horrible going from having about £20 in your account to last a month to going to £500+ because you still get the weird anxiety and guilt from buying a packet of mints.

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Holy fuck, this depression has come back, I knew it was coming and now I must deal with it. There isn't anything explicitly wrong with my life, everything is stable. I mean, yes... I am living in poverty, what's left of my family is a dysfunctional mess, this damned eating disorder is taking it's toll on me, and I'm realizing just how lonely I am. How everyone is all too happy to speak about themselves, but no one seems to notice how bad I'm breaking on the inside. No one cares about anyone but themselves, and I'm so exhausted asking about them, showing my compassion for them, to have nothing in return.
I'm so fucking sad. Perhaps the only thing that happened in the past week, was what happened this morning. This 17 year old came up to me and struck up a conversation as we shared a smoke. He told me to keep my head high, and hugged me goodbye. I think that's all I needed, but once again I find myself in a state of despair.
I don't know what to do. I know music and exercise make me smile, but I'm getting back to the point that laying in my bed and dwelling over my pains is the favourable past time.
I guess I needed to get this off my chest because no pal of mine would listen, and I don't want a pity party, or to burden anyone.

>>16500784
um, watch out for alcohol. I don't know if you drink but it can really creep up on you when you feel like this.

What about taking a class or something? Start something new that you can work towards?

>>16500799
I'm not allowed to drink it due to an incident a few weeks ago when I got blackout drunk, I'll be asked to leave if I touch it.

Can't, I have work for the dole until February. But I like the idea of a hobby, but I have none that comes to mind.

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Recently tried kratom for panic disorder and pain related to Lyme disease. I would die happy if I never had to take benzodiazepines and pain pills again. I can actually kneel down to pick things up without holding needing to grab onto something. I'm being cautiously optimistic about this.

I stole milk and cookies from a drug dealer once. Fuck you, D.

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I'm shit at standing up for myself. I'm the ultimate pushover.

I realized that if we get back together I'll be able to fall in love with you all over again.
I'm really comforted by that for some reason

>>16499300
I'm really sorry and I feel like hugging you

I got her, she loves me and I love her back. I don't think I've ever seen someone to be this great full to have me around. I know lots of shit is coming in the following years, but we push through like always. There are times when her sentiments push through and she says rage inducing shit and treats me like shit, but she apologizes in the end, and that's just the way she is, and I'm ok with that...

im pretty sure i have borderline personality disorder

im pretty sure i can't get any meds for it because i've had a habit before

my mood swings are really starting to crack my head

welp

I cant get her out of my head.

Fuck

The girl I love keeps ignoring me. She always approaches when she's lonely and I'm always there for her but when I need her... she just goes away.

I'm a fucking beta and I hate it.

Why are you mean to me for no reason?

Why can't I get you out of my head? I don't understand why I can't let it go. I'll be here if you ever decide to talk to me. Otherwise I guess I should just leave you alone. I don't want to though.

>>16501280
Initials?

Don't know than anyone will read this much less reply but the whole point is to get it off my chest so I might as well write it out. Not sure what I want to hear anyways.

Was in my first serious relationship with this girl for say 11 months or so, and it was all in all a pretty great relationship. Granted there were jealousy issues but nothing very serious, we resolved all disagreements and most people would agree that it was a healthy relationship. We were both each others first in terms of sex, and we were very active in that way.
As we began to close in on one year something happened. A friend of mine was dumped with his semi-long term gf (7-8) months and he was devastated. Consoling him, I explained that there was no reason to be upset because without her he could be so much happier, and she really didn't affect his life in any way and this just opened him up to new opportunities. As I told him these things, somewhere in my mind it clicked that these exact statements were true for me. My relationship constantly drained me of time and energy, and I was constantly putting all of my effort into keeping her happy and being with her. At this point I realized in my mind that the only reason I ever talked to this girl was because we were in this relationship, but she was related to my life in no way at all and we had nothing in common. I lost all the feeling I had for her within a few days.
I didn't want to leave her because she hadn't really done anything at all, so it didn't make sense. To anyone I told, they didn't understand me. Everyone I asked said it was a great relationship and I was being crazy buy after waiting two weeks to see if there was any change in the way I felt, I had to cut it off. She was crushed. Every time she saw me after that, she would sob and literally beg for me to come back. She kept trying to blame herself and didn't believe me when I explained to her that it had nothing to do with her and it was just what I wanted.
Cont

>>16501147
Thank you anon. I really really need a hug. They're the only things that make me feel okay, anymore.

>>16501338
Cont
I knew I should have felt terrible but honestly I felt liberated, I was so happy to be on my own. This was a healthy change for me and for the next few months I was more energetic, outgoing, and generally happy. I still regard it as one of the best decisions I've ever made.
She's still hurt, three or four months later. I haven't given her a second thought since then. Had to ignore her call at 2 am several nights ago.

At this point I'm still glad I'm not with her. Life is better when you aren't shackled to someone else. Pursue your passions, take time for your hobbies, and do what you want. Not every guy needs a girl. Sometimes it's best to live for yourself.

I love you Anons.

>>16501308
For c.

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>>16499259
>tfw listening to Ave Maria after gf says she loves you and post fap

I have been chosen by God for my faith

>>16499579

There is no negative side effects to jacking it other than ripping the skin off your cock. It's only bad if it's literally all you do all day. 3 times is fine.

I'm so alone.
I have no body.
I've never had anybody.

If tomorrow someone said "Hey, you want to die for a greater cause?"
I'd take it up.

I'm envious of societies that have human sacrifice. I'd volunteer.

I want to die without my parents feeling bad.

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I lost my birth control recently and just kind of was like eh whatever I'll get some more in a few months when they mail it to me.

I didn't use it for sex, I haven't had sex in 4 years. It was my crazy pill, but I noticed I may be faring pretty well without it though. But it did do something... it killed my sex drive. Now it's slowly turning back on.

The problem is I'm too depressed to be in a relationship. And honestly I hate it, but I miss it at the same time. Yeah the feels are nice, but then there's the never having guilt free alone time and someone always bugging you, and me always feeling like I'm bugging him. It always starts off so nice then after a few months I just can't stand being around them anymore.

I haven't really been looking at guys around me in a long time with thoughts like this. I hate it, because yeah I do want a nice relationship, but I know if I pursue it it'll end badly one way or another....

I want to get spayed or something jesus

Everything about my life has been going so good too. I stopped smoking a year ago, I changed my diet and became a vegetarian and started working out again and have lost 35 pounds, but I guess in school and in work... I've never felt like I should date too unless I have something to bring to the table...

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>>16501441
It's ok bro

WW3 is coming

>>16501467
Fucking wishing, bro.

WW3 erupts and I'm first in line at conscription

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>>16501480
>mfw I have 2 years left on my military enlistment
>I'm not afraid of isis
>but damn russia
>I don't want to fuck with Russia

At least it'll be crazy this time around, the whole alliance thing is even more fucked up then it was for WW1

>>16501467
>>16501480

Protip we're not going to WW3

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1960_U-2_incident

3000% worse during a time we literally had nukes pointed at each other and we didn't have a war

>>16501494
OK maybe not that but another war for us is inevitable. Even if it's another proxy war it still takes a lot of manpower.

They literally take anyone in the Army during wartime.

>>16501489
Russia will give you a quick death.

You fear Kursk Episode 2?

Don't. They'll give you nuclear death before that/

WW1 was the war equivalent of a toddler stumbling. We won't have that again. We know better now.

Deaths shall be quick and easy.
No gas, no Dulce et Decorum Est shit.

If you're serving now, you have the benefit of dying fast.

One problem with going to any school for me is embarrassment. I've never felt any positivity from embarrassment before so its obvious why I'm always nervous and anxious in any school or public place.

>>16501504
>Russia
>Strong

Top kek

vladimir pls go

>>16501513
>Being this delusional
As expected from a retarded tripfag.

I'M IN DEBT. I HAVE NOBODY TO CARE ABOUT ME. MY PARENTS HATE ME. I'VE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AND FAILED. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. I'VE GOT A BOTTLE OF PILLS. I'M GONNA TAKE THEM ALL AND CHASE IT WITH SOME BLEACH. YOU GUYS ON 4CHAN ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE I TALK TO.
THIS IS WHAT'S ON MY CHEST. THIS IS MY SUICIDE LETTER.
NO. I WON'T FILM OR STREAM IT.

>>16501515
We have 20 aircraft carriers

Russia has one

As expected from a russian cock sucker

>>16501513
It's not about winning the war, it's about winning the battle.

Russia won't let a battle fail.
It's not like WW1, where battle lines where ambiguous and gaseous.
It's not like WW2, where lines where to be overrun by tanks and bodies.

WW3 will be one where intelligence is King. You don't push where there are enemy. Why when UAVs can do it for you?

The future will be a strange war. The one where the most robots can die will be king

>>16501504
I was talking about the alliance shit that led to everyone fucking declaring war on each other in terms of WW1.

Now it's like everyone hates ISIS but then Turkey hates the kurds a little bit more than isis but then turkey is in NATO and trying to get into the EU so them just letting people cross their border into Syria is pissing everyone off

then russia decides to start bombing Syria and shit because of the plane thing, and turkey doesn't like them flying over them even though they're flying there to bomb isis who they don't like anyway and then the kurds are fighting against isis too but turkey is like fuck the kurds tho and bombs them instead

OK I guess it's not that complicated

Think russia will just nuke turkey?

>>16499259
It left because you claim to have a small niche desire set and the conviction to never settle. You will never have love again as long as you're like this. It doesn't even take a therapist to figure that one out. ffs.

>>16501521
20 aircraft carriers full of sailor kiddies.
Don't fool yourself.

>>16501530
Lol

Come on then; I would love to go to war with Russia

>>16501524
Russia won't nuke Turkey.
Maybe they bomb, but never nuke.

Russia wants to spank Turkey, not blow them the fuck up.

Maybe they "accidentally" bomb a Turkish military base thinking it's in ISIS control.
But not nuke.

Nukes are there for when the gloves come fucking off.

When there is no gentlemen play.

Right now, we're doing some 18th century duel play. Where everyone gets mad and shouts, but never actually does the deed.

Russia and America know they're the only ones really in the game.
So they just posture for each other.

Turkey's just a car who cut in front of Russia's truck.
You don't ram them and risk losing your cargo.
You just pass them and honk your horn.

>>16501537
I know man...

It's just a pipe dream....

I just wish russia would roast turkey for thanksgiving

>>16501521
Aircraft carriers are for land control, not nukes.

Russia has subs.
Subs are nuclear deterrent.

Russia doesn't care about occupying a territory.

>>16501534
>I
lmao, fucking idiot.

>>16501541
You and me both, brother.

The world would be better with some roast Turkey

>>16501537
Russia is a Chihuahua barking

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russo-Japanese_War

>>16501543
We have subs too that are superior

subs that carry nukes

>>16501546
Yeah, I would be

My roommates are having a party right now. I was really looking forward to it this week. But then a guest that I feel anxious around showed up early on and I've just felt really anxious and lousy since then. That guest even left pretty early a bit ago, but I still don't feel good. I've been spending most of the night in my room. The party's still going on downstairs. I tried hanging out with everyone again a little bit ago, but then someone tried to make a joke that reminded me of my family I'm on bad terms with, and I just felt even worse all over again. I know they didn't mean anything by it, but I just feel really bad. I'm usually a shut in and never hang out with people so I'm disappointed I'm missing one of my few chances in the year. And I don't think I can handle the holidays coming up anymore.

>>16501560
It's not America vs Russia.

It's Turkish scum vs Russia.

America gonna let that happen. They know they want it.

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>>16501579
But that's where the ally shit comes into play with Turkey being in NATO.

But fuck man we promised Ukraine we would protect them as long as they disarmed their nukes and look how that turned out for them.

Can we take the WWIII shit to /pol/
FFS if I wanted to read a thread about delusional 'murican douchenuggets, I'd head there.

My best friend just called off the friendship. He's become an alcoholic over the past few months. He had so much going for him and now nothing.

I hope he breaks his probation and goes to jail. I'd hate to hear it but he needs to end up there sooner rather than later. He's destroyed his life and needs to hit rock bottom. He pushes anyone away who tries to help or hold him accountable.

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>>16501589
I'M SORRY MAN I RUINED THE THREAD

>>16501587
Exactly.

We're gonna let Turkey rot while we build our own defenses.

Fucking electric boogaloo going on now.

Russia is shit. We watch ohter nations take it for us.

>>16501589
Cry more communist scum

>>16501587
While Ukraine had physical control of the weapons, it did not have operational control, as they were dependent on Russian-controlled electronic Permissive Action Links and the Russian command and control system.

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Have an awesome day, /adv/.

Cripes though I feel like this thread devolved into the reason why I have no stable relationships.

I'm crazy and annoying and always talking about global events and world war 3 and guns

No one likes that in a woman

Why should I be thankful for anything if nothing makes me happy

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>>16501613
I do

Already got one tho

>>16501613
For better or worse, there are people that would hate fuck you after a red hot political argument

>>16501620
Sure you do, sperglord. Do you tell her how much good advice notoriety you are racking up under your moniker on an anime image board? I bet your pillow loves that. Girlfriend, I mean. I bet your girlfriend loves that.

My parents are out of the country having a holiday trip. My sister lives in another state. My family dog is dying without much grace and I'm watching him alone right now while he has gone blind and practically incontinent. My boyfriend left me a few days ago and I keep coming close to having anxiety attacks. I have to commute an hour to university and I had an emotional breakdown on a major highway because of some stupid song on the radio. I had plans with a friend I was looking forward to in the middle of all this shit and they bailed on me. They apologized and invited me to spend Thanksgiving with their extended family but I politely declined because I feel it would be uncomfortable. But I'm so lonely and I keep having anxious thoughts before sleep. I haven't slept properly since the breakup between watching the dog and my crippling post-breakup depression which is starting to really eat at me. I felt strangely happy this morning, I had a moment of direction and motivation but after a few hours it completely shifted. I want therapy but I don't know how to find it without help and I feel broken. I want my boyfriend back so there's someone around to hold me and tell me I'm worthwhile. I'm not suicidal but I am having trouble breathing every night I am panicking.

>>16501613
Are you an aspie?

>>16501620

Rosie Palmer and her five friends don't count.

>>16501694
>No image
wew lad, you sure got me.

>>16501720
Lol do you want her address too? faggot

>>16501717
Mostly

I'm an aspie from /k/

>>16501724
At least I don't have to pretend to have a girlfriend.

>>16501730
Jelly as fuck

>>16501726

Nice to see another /k/ visitor on here. Guys do like that in a woman. The ones that don't take enemas of the liberal kool-aid anyway.
trust me on this

>>16501735

No >>16501730 has it right. Even I can see that and call bullshit on it.

>>16501747
I would expect nothing less from a board of jealous virgins

>>16501703
I think I just had some kind of attack after writing that. I couldn't breathe and i kept shaking and it felt like i was underwater. Is that a panic attack or an anxiety attack? I wish I could call someone. I want to let my father know but he's in Ireland and I don't want to worry him. How do you get help when you can't make yourself ask for it? I can't call any kind of authority I can't pay for an ambulance and I don't think I need one but what if they send one? Do they charge you just for having people come over? I'm crying but my breathing is better. I'm trying to just calm down on my own.

>>16501756
>"Jealous virgins"
>Pretending to have a girlfriend just to say that
>Being a Patriotkek
Tripfags are the easiest people to mock.

>>16501769
Its not a skill to mock anyone

Congrats

I also fantasize about sucking dicks dry

>>16501775
Poor you, can't get boys for you to suck their dicks either.

>>16501788
Its just a fantasy

I've had some guys offer but I wasn't feeling it

I always do shit. Always. And I did it again, even promising to myself I would do my best to not fuck up everything.
This time I had some really bad argument with a friend of mine, I told him to go away of my life, told I was getting tired of him and wanted him to not look at my face anymore. He was acting like a damn child for so long time I couldn't handle my anger anymore and vomited everything I would never say.
God, I fucked up everything once again because of that. Maybe our friendship was one of the bests I would find in my life and now there's a barrier between us, since I hurted him so fucking much. He almost cried. CRIED.
I would appreciate a lot if things could go back as they were a few days ago. I'm feeling like trash.
I wish I could definitely be able to stop doing shit like this.

Alright this might come of as egotistical or whatever but I don't care.
I have never really been able to connect with other people not even my family. I always really loved school, shit is really fucking cool if you actually do your work also love reading math physics ect.... but ofcourse as you may have noticed by comments by students everywhere everyone hates what I love.
In the past I just decided to let peer pressure get the best of me and I stopped trying in school I just played Video games 24/7 and was a class clown and shit, I was never really happy because that shit isn't what I like to do and It never will be.
Recently I reallized that I don't really give a shit about others anymore and IT actually started trying again in shcool it's going great I went from D's and C's to A's in a month and a half I was actually having fun.
But ofcourse since I was a fucking 24/7 video gamer I don't really have many close friends and to be honest I don't really want to be friends with the people around me.
So ofcourse I got lonely since I am human I told myself that I just need to wait longer until I get into the highest classes then I'M would meet people that I would want to talk to and be friends with. But it wasn't enough so I just started browsing the web looking for distractions and I reallized a lot of you feel lonely too.
I saw I wasn't the only one so I can't be the only one in my situation as well. So I reallized that I'm not just doing this for my future physisist friends or something of the sort I realized that I actually love my academic field, I reallized someone out there must love it as much as I do I reallized that every step I take could be for both of those things, maybe I will even meet one of those people one day.
I reallized what I'm doing is not just for the grades or for some gf or whatever I actually love what I am doing and I want to meet people who love what I love to one day.
It doesn't matter what my situation is right now Cont....

>>16501666
Satan has spoken.

Time to filter another shit trip.

Why are the good trips so few and far between, or MIA?

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>>16501899
>good trips

You're part of the problem

Go back to reddit faggot

>>16501892
Because frankly It doesn't matter to me now and It won't in the future. It's not some comepetition for the most friends or whatever shit, this is about something that actually matters and may even matter for eternity.
I want to do the best I can to advance academicly and academics themselvs if I am cappable of so, I want to help those who are going through, have gone through or will go through my situation I know a lot of people are not like me I know a lot of people are not like the kind of people I want to meet but I and them do exist and I want to help both and my interests if I can. The dumb kid who thinks he is cool that will amount to nothing in life means nothing to me. I only care about those who actually see the possibility for something beautifull in the future and want to work to make it possible.

I guess my loneliness was pretty stupid to begin with.

I wish my partner was clingy as I am.

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>>16501912
>tripfag
>calling anyone else a problem
>telling anyone else to go to reddit
>desperate attention whore
>has a "girlfriend"

No doubt he meant relatively.

While you're all attention whores, some actually offer decent advice, do not post non-stop, are not constantly seeking validation, or fishing for upboats.

The lesser of two evils, in a way.

>>16501519
I'm sorry anon

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>>16501940
Lesser than two evils is bullshit

You're evil or you're not

Some men just want to watch the world burn

my 27 y.o. slightly autism spectrum brother just asked my sister what she was watching on netflix and she told him she doesn't report to him. this started an argument, and then my dad beat the shit out of him. over netflix.

i love my brother. he is always sensitive and caring, i'm sure he was just trying to make conversation. my sister is a fucking bitch, i mean yeah my brother asks every time what we're watching but it's just trying to make conversation, not to be irritating. but he always starts insulting my dad's church (to be fair, it's mormonism and pretty oppressive so my brother is somewhat justified) whenever an argument starts, and my dad is a fucking asshole.

I wanna die but i want to be around and not hurt my brother and mom too. i hate life.

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>>16500334

Man...It's not with women, just with people since I was a kid. I grew up getting hurt, physically and emotionally. Mom abandoned me and dad died. I got juggled around relatives until I was old enough to work and leave. I'm used to keeping everyone at arm's length but never wanting to let go when they're inside. It hurts when they leave.

At this point the loneliness is gone and replaced with acceptance. I know who I exactly am as a man, my goals and I'm proud of that. Actually I travel way too much and I'm too used to being all on my own. I actually dated a woman for a few months this year, trying to see if 'that life' was mine and couldn't stand someone resting beside me in bed. Someone with their ear to my chest, hearing that heartbeat and thinking there's only flesh and bone between that and them. I just knew I'd never be able to give her my full self and so I ended it to cries, her begging and such.

I'm just too far gone..in this life, anyway. I'm just going to travel, work, write in my journal, paint, listen to people's stories and die.

I just want a good life, with close friends, a great social life, job, apartment, and car. I'm 25 and not even close and it scaring me. I wish I had a hipsterish short haired gf, that's open minded, cute, petite, intelligent, and funny. Like a bro but gf. I want out of my parents house and I want a better job and place of my own.

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>>16501912
>>16501940
>pegasus

Yeah, a dipshit trip. I've had a few run-ins.

>>16502009
>i have no arguments so i'll state the obvious fact he uses a trip

COME ON AMERICA IS 2015

>>16501950
I turned fake christian because I want to be able to contoll the population when I grow up, also jesus was pretty cool if he actually killed all those people and shit if he is real

>>16499730
I like the brevity but depth in this post. Like a goddam poet. things will figure themselves out. Just sit and watch

I have an ugly body. I hate my small, floppy breasts, my broad shoulders, huge outie belly button and fat tree trunk legs. Since my BMI is "normal," my clothes (which are all loose or baggy) deceive people into thinking I look fine.

I used to work out a lot and diet, sometimes successfully, but I never felt any less disgusting at my goal weight. I'm terrified of dating because I would be so ashamed if someone saw my naked body.

>>16501950
>implying you're tripping for any other reason than your delusional reddit fantasy

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>>16502176
>implying implications

Ever spooked yourself by reading about the history of rabies? I have.

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I wish you cared as much as I did. I can't wait around forever, and even though we are together right now, it honestly doesn't feel like it. You hardly have time for me, yet have time for everyone else. You say you care and want to make this shit work, but nothing is changing. You don't even know how much of a war that goes on in my head over you, and I fucking hate it. But I love you. I wish we could go back when we were so about eachother for 2 and a half years. I'm glad that you want me back in your life, and I have made the effort to do my part, but where is yours? I got sober from shooting heroin and about 2 weeks from hitting 9 months clean from everything, and you are one of my biggest motivations to keep doing this. I've lost faith in myself a long time ago upon becoming sober and hit suicidal moments in my life, but if you had the life I had, then youd understand. Idk, Im trying, I really am.

gonna be 27 in a couple months. spent four years in the army so i have that to look back on, but in the four years since i've done literally nothing. worked dead end jobs for a while, now i'm sitting around selling my shit waiting for school to start so i can use the GI bill to get paid. i retardedly told the VA i wanted to kill myself so they would take me seriously when i went in to try to get antidepressants and now i really miss the army. i feel like i really fucked up leaving and at this point htere's no way they'll ever take me back.

i haven't been outside in probably 3 weeks since losing my job and i'm just not cut out for this civilian shit. i have no motivation to do anything except hang out with my cat, play video games, and smoke weed.

i am lost as fuck

>>16502157
I hear ya. I not female but I do have this "skin fungus" like on my hips i'm like light brown compared to my pale self and I have horrible self esteem and turned down sex more than once because of it. Fml..... I hate this so much.

Why do all the girls I have been with in the past 6 months just want to fool around? Btw hardly any of them take their panties off, BUT will do everything else. WTF?

Dear Senpai~

I am so sorry for yesterdays talk. I didn't mean to drag out the information from your mouth. And I'm sorry for being so selfish from time to time. I think it's better to talk it all out one day, well, ofc , not ALL, just the things that you would like to get off your chest and not afraid to share.
So...Yeah.. Sorry again.

Yours truly,
T~~

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>found toothbrush in the garbage
>phone charger was missing part of the cable somehow
>she just slammed a door by my room with too much force at 1AM for the third time

All of this petty shit will not get to me. Yes, I do not like you at all, but I will remain civil. Is that why you're mad? Your little acts here and there are really pathetic since our talk on Sunday. If you're going to destroy my property I have a lock on my door and money in my pocket to replace it since I have a job. If you think I'll react you're dead wrong.

Thanks for the laughs though. You're a sad person and I do hope you actually look at yourself in a mirror one day.

I am in love with the most perfect sweetest prettiest girl ever... But she has a boyfriend and most surely has friend zoned me. Not like I even stood a chance I'm a fucking fat loser

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i don't care if anybody doesn't read this but i'm a young lad and my grandfather chocked me and slammed me against the wall and he told me to leave and i was kicked out of the house and i have nowhere to go and frankly i
m scared i'm usually not but i want to cry and i want to ball up and cry but I know there is no use in it but i just want to get that off my chest and maybe find some help. SHOOK UP

>>16502387
Dude you aren't just some loser you can do it and you can take her as yours point out his flaws and your pros i believe in YOU !!!

>>16502393
Wtf did you deserve it? Other wise beat the fuck out of the old geezer

>tfw have a gf with a really good personality, and subservient, loves me a lot
>I'm too obsessed with appearance and let it get to me all the time, even though she's not bad looking

anytime I see a good looking girl that I feel is prettier than my gf I feel like shit. also anytime she sends me a picture of her and she doesn't look that good I also feel like shit.

I really am an asshole

>>16502400
Damn anon.. No ones ever encouraged me.. Thank you. You might just be right. I mean we get along so well and she seems excited when we talk or hangout.

>>16502404
no he accused me of stealing his wallet and i didn't so i let him get his anger out and he wanted to yell so i let him but when he chocked me i called the cops.

>>16502410
What a dick. I hate being accused of shit I didn't do. Specially theft. Hope you find a safe spot for the night.

>>16502408
>An
that's even better just make small talk dont tak about her but make her interested in you if she doesn't like you for who you are then her lose but if you feel she is the one then over power it an make some sacrifices to maybe change but never ever lose yourself WE ALL LOVE YOU HERE

>got adhd
>shitty social skills
>zero friends
>shitty job which is at risk because I'm lazy, slow and unperceptive
>only one person I've got is a gf
>she doesnt love, support, respect me
>together because nobody wants her and she needs someone by her side
How do I get better? Waiting for a meeting with psyhiatrist, hoping to get medicated and better and to actually manage to get a professional skill.
The only thing I do now is daydream at work, sleep, video games.

>>16502417
im sorry for your situation man but you know what you have to think and see if she does like you and if she ruins yo dump her and try to make yourself better plus video games are guud

>>16502417
my advice would be try to find a passion, or at least a fun hobby to give yourself some enjoyment, sounds like you need it. if videogames are doing that then that's fine, but you can do almost anything on the computer ultimately, even learn a language to fluency.
you said you're going to meet with a psychiatrist so you're on the right path. don't feel too bad.

>>16502416
Will do anon, thanks. Im seeing her this weekend she asked me if I could score some weed brownies. Told her I would bake a batch

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>>16502423
DO YOUR BEST AND GET TO BAKING HAHA GOODLUCK

>>16502406
seriously how do I stop this? do I just have to grow up? I always find myself envying those people who date unattractive girls but still look so happy and just love them anyway. not that mine is unattractive, I just feel like I have to be with a 10 I guess, even though it's not as if I could necessarily get a 10.

I have a beautiful and intelligent gf who loves me but I still haven't developed feelings strong feelings for her (it's been 2 months). Last time I felt in love/ infatuated with somebody was 4 years ago when I was in year 10 and that girl was objectively not a good match for me even though I didn't realise at the time. The girl from year 10 switched schools and I was pretty emotionally devastated to the point that I think my entire brain chemistry changed permanently for the worse. I don't know whether to continue with this relationship on the hope that I eventually do develop strong feelings or go back to being single for her sake.

>>16502417
or maybe smash it again and again till it looks like baked chicken

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>>16502427
dude you can get anything you wan just believe in yourself but if you think you could love this girl then TRY HARDER and another way to make you feel better is to show us what she looks like and we could tell you how your doing

I don't like what I'm doing with my life, but I don't see any alternative. My parents want me to be a social, productive member of society, and they've paid for basically everything I have and everything I've done, so I don't have it in me to tell them I'm completely miserable.

Even if I could, I don't have any better ideas on how to live my life. I want to read books and play video games, and maybe hope that someone someday will share these interests with me and love me back. It's not like wanting to find some happiness is something that I can magically turn into a lifestyle.

I don't have anyone I can share these concerns with, or anyone I want to. I have friends who might listen, even provide advice, but once I've done that, I've irreversibly tainted what was previously a fun and lighthearted relationship focused on whatever mutual interest we had, into one where I'm some kind of emotional anchor. They've always going to look at me and remember that one time I broke down about whatever, and I can't stand that. I had someone do that to me once, and it was fucking awful, and I eventually had to break off my relationship with them, because I didn't want the entirety of what we did to be me attempting to commiserate with them, which is what it turns into.

tl;dr i'm secretly an emotional wreck and and i bury it with alcohol because i'd rather be miserable than let anyone know i'm miserable

>>16502428
i don't think intensity needs to be the basis of a relationship

if you're happy with her, and she's happy with you, does it really matter?

i'm a kv btw, so fuck you

>>16502246
not an armyfag, but iktf

i just don't know what i'm doing. It's worse because i've had everything handed to me - i don't deserve to be unhappy, but yet, here i am.

lots of people are vets anon, esp if you go to a public university. I bet you can find some people who share your experiences if you look. A decent veteran services dept will have groups and stuff that point you the right way.

>>16502467
do you think its ok to hide it ITS NOT be a man or women and BE YOURSELF you have a right to that and if you cant ever find some one then they missed out on a great dude

I romantically like one of my fwbs and I hate it.

>>16502436
I don't even want to break up with her, first of all because I have issues and her personality is basically a 10 and I never have to worry about her leaving me or cheating on me or anything. I'm not going to post her picture here, but when she does her makeup and hair properly she can be really attractive. When she doesn't then I'd say she's like a 6. She knows how much I like it so she also is caring more about her appearance now, but we haven't been together for a while so I've just been seeing pictures of her hanging out with her friends where she doesn't bother to put on that much makeup or style her hair a lot, etc.

I just want to grow up and stop being so immature about this and be satisfied but it's hard sometimes. So many guys shit on girls who aren't really attractive and as much as I want to not care, it makes me feel insecure and feel like shit.

>>16502522
i have only a few words
i respect you

>>16502530
why?

>>16502550
because you said you don't care about looks and that doesn't apply to most people

>>16502559
the problem is that I do care about it. I don't want to, though, and I don't value it above everything. but I think I care about it too much still because I'm letting it affect my mood, and general happiness.

>>16502522
It goes away as you get older. By all means if you have any doubts, then dump her now because you guys are still both young and you need to run the gamut of heart break before you can decide what is truly important to you in terms of a partner.

>>16502641
if she's a 6 at her worst she will have no problem finding someone else
you need to dump her, don't feel sorry for her, your shallow perspective will get better as you move through more partners

FUCK JUST FUCKING TALK TO ME

>>16502770
H-hello

>>16502770

Is it me you're looking for?

>>16502770
>>16502802
>>16502817
I can see it in your eyes

>>16502770
>>16502802
>>16502817
>>16502822
I can see it in your smile

God it feels good to be a sociopath. After my diagnosis I went through some turmoil but as a sociopath the only anguish I really felt if that no one feels sorry for anyone with my disorder. I was wrong the people around me have responded well. For many it gave a lot of context for things I've done. Now I can be who I am and at least the people close to me will understand that I'm kind of selfish. Feels good to feel zero apprehension in putting me and my happiness before everyone else's. Look how guilt ridden and miserable you empaths in this thread are. You sacrifice your feelings for others and despair is your big pay off. Fuck that shit. Others will hurt and go without before I do. Having aspd is like having a lazy good for nothing shoulder angel who's always sleeping in while having a shoulder devil that puts in overtime and is upper management material.

>>16501352
Oh, this made me so sad :( This is a good example of why it's better to just pour myself into a career, get a couple of dogs, and be alone forever. Even when you love with everything in you, the other person still doesn't care..

Everyone doesn't give a shit about you or your well being.
What's bad about caring for others? they won't threat you the same way, just because they think of themselves only. It's not a "do this and pay me the same", because whenever you need them is when you finally realize they were lying all along, they never needed your true self, just a mask to go along with.
No true reason to hang with them other than drink for free and have a few laughs, but it that life? I mean, yeah, you should enjoy the little time you have, but it's boring and monotonous to go out and just play football, or drink, or go to boring as shit night parties.
Yeah, shocking, I'm not the same as you since my whole childhood I pciked the wrong choices and nobody would advise me correctly on them. I don't blame them, I mean, I actually didn't chose how I was being raised, denying me a lot of opportunities to go out and play with other kids on the block, or gifting me a PS2 on release just because you couldn't handle your kids to have a social life.

It wasn't until 9th or 10th grade that I could make escapades, but it was too late, I already had a personality and I already just clicked with retards, mentally ill people and douchebags in general.

Oh, I forgot about your no relationships policy, sure let's delay the inevitable, except when I had the chance I couldn't do shit because my mother's words resonated and I felt I should behave my best since she's short tempered.

I get it, you suffered a lot, it's nobody's fault in reality. Society's standards are bullshit, and generalizations are common in every age. You get ostrasized just because you didn't have the same life, or don't pretend to be like others. Well, I'm sorry, I can't lie to myself.

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm sad I'm alone right now. I'm sad I can't be with you and probably will never be with you again. I'm tired of doing nothing but laying on the couch and having anxiety and panic attacks trying to get actual sleep. I still love you so much it hurts more than anything. I still want you back and I'm prepared to wait for however long that takes. I'm going to try but then I start thinking about how you said you will never want me again so maybe that's pointless, but I want to be with you. I want to help you. Please don't seal yourself away from me forever.

>>16503035
Initials? Probably not who I'm thinking of but just to ease my curiosity

>>16503041
I'm not who you're looking for. My first name starts with S. If you're worried about someone just contact them.

i love him

I love her

I wish I had a family. I wish I could feel welcomed at other families thanksgivings. I've been to someone elses thanksgiving before and I just feel like the odd one out. Christmas is usually like this, too.

At least I have you guys, though! Thanks for being around anon!

I know I wasn't supposed to be sad. I couldn't promise but I said I would try. I never could have imagined in the deepest depths of my worst nightmares that I would actually be here living this now. I just don't know how to live like this anymore. Every minute of every day is pain I couldn't even imagine. There's nobody for me to talk to anymore. Nothing I accomplish feels real now that I can't tell her about it. I hope she knew how just how much she really meant to me. I loved her more than anything in the world. Nobody or anything ever brighted my life so much. I never knew a better person. I spend every waking moment with her on my mind, going over all the time we spent together. All the things I should have done for her. She deserved so much better than me. And now I'm all alone again, in a life that I know for certain has no justice. No living god. No miracles. There is no just world where she could have died before me. I just want to go to bed and not wake up. I can't bear this pain. I can't bear the torture of living like this for the rest of my life.

To continue, I just really hate myself and everyone around me. I used to have a friend but he reminded me that I was insecure. I wasted months on end trying to get revenge on him. The boiling point reached when he stopped replying to my phone calls. I hated him for making me insecure. I enjoyed my insanity and godlessness. I wallowed in self pity, negativity and vices. I couldn't believe I am nothing without hate. I hate myself and everyone secretly. I will waste my time trying to ruin you all I promise.

J

>>16503237

So happy you consider us human beings anon. We're with you all the way anon senpais. Have a good holiday season :)

Today has been really hard without you. I want to be with you

>>16499259
My last grandparent died and my family tore itself apart from the inside out trying to get that inheritance. Normally I wouldn't mind but the funeral was absolute shit, as if it were planned last minute and the one guy talking about her pulled a, "I was the closest one to her," speech.

A bunch of my other family and close friends has been kill from murder or otherwise so I don't feel grief as strongly but I'm pretty angry at how disrespectful everyone that attended was.

There must be something important I should be doing at this point. Wanting to get your shit together but having absolutely no means of doing so feels like a freaking purgatory. I get on my knees and look up to the skies waiting for a sign but it never comes, it really makes you wonder if we really are sons of God or if he truly has a plan for us all.

Not really sure how to progress that's all.

I have never hated being clean as much as I do today. I am not going to relapse, so spare me the lecture, /adv/...

Thanksgiving was the first real holiday we shared, after you moved in. Neither of us was heavily-invested in the holiday season, but those memories are keenly felt today.

Memory... Now that I am no longer running from my emotions, or problems, my memory has returned to the annoyingly high-quality it was before my descent. As such, I remember; these memories wash over me, and it is as if I am back in those moments. I know you will not suffer this torture, and I envy you for it.

I am alone, today, as you know how my family is. For half a decade, we needed only each other, and made these days our own. This is only reinforcing what I am feeling, obviously.

I am sorry for my role in how we ended; it should never have come to this, and I will always carry it with me. In another time, another place, there is a version of me that didn't fall... I like to think that this version of me would be holding you now, and is stroking your hair, while we prepare dinner, together.

No, I am not a monster

I loved you, supported you, and respected you. I was there when no one else was. I picked up the phone, calmed you down, and talked you through more shitty situations than I can count. You opened up to me and I never judged you or made fun of you or your past. I supported you like no one else when your treatment started. Your family and "friends" don't take it seriously. I did.

So, you pushed me out of your life. Told me to leave and never come back. WISH GRANTED! I will let you know this. I work at your favorite club. If you show up, I will ban you. Until Jan 2017. That's when your probation is done.

Part of me hopes to god I never have to see you in my club. The other part wants your addiction to take you to rock bottom.

i hate not talking to you all day long :( i hate thinking that you're okay not being with me on thanksgiving.
we never had a thanksgiving together and that fucking kills me

>>16503700
ogawd the feels

>>16503723

I supported you like no other and this is what you do to me. Like I said I hope I never see you in the club because I wasn't invited. I'll stand outside these doors waiting for you to hear me speak these words so you'll feel remorse for not talking to me ever again. This is what you do to me. I hate myself and everyone around me. I'll ruin you.

L

I like 4 girls, and im flirting with all of them. But i cant decide who i love the most...

That song was for you. A symbol. Of my recovery. Of how, if you can't grow up, if you can't stop complaining and open your eyes to actually see me, I'm not giving you another chance.

It was to say "If we can change our ways" then maybe we have a chance. But I don't think we do. All you do is complain, and you're so mean, my God, you're so mean! And you tell me I'm the mean one when I'm only joking, and the things you dish out are worse than what I say. Please. Spare me.

And you have no right to talk about my mother. If I am someone you're trying to sleep with again, you're doing it all wrong. You're not seducing me in any way. You're pushing me away, whether it be your intention or not. You're a foolish child, and you're older than me.

I grew up fast in the aftermath of my destruction. And now my only problem is that I might drink too much sometimes, I might accidentally swear in public, I don't cry as often as I used to, and I get panic attacks instead. And you know, despite all of my flaws, I'm not a bad person to be with. I have my own means, I live alone and I've been taking care of myself for a very long time now. But I can't be with you.

I know you already. I know how you get when I take too long to respond (so now I like to wait 24 hours), when I'm angry, when you're angry, and how we sweep everything that matters under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist until I am a screaming crying mess and I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THAT AGAIN.

I've finally drawn myself back together and I refuse to let you turn me into an emotional wreck ever again.

>>16503935
you don't love any of them

I have been wasting my precious time over a guy who I have tried to ruin. I have failed myself but I will not fail to ruin other people's lives if I can help it. I spend a majority of my toilet break time on these threads and MC just so I could wait for him to post his meme's. I'll ruin everyone that makes me feel bad. My ego is not out of control at all. I just think everyone must pay for the result of my own mistakes and insecurities. Fuck you for changing, fucking you for having friends and fuck you because I want what you have. I will not work for anything in my life and focus on hating your memes and existance. I have no life outside of hate, if you escape it I will try to pull you back in. Or I will threaten to kill myself.

I think I am a Bipolar guy. The people I hate are lucky to not have me in their lives.

J

>>16503937
Ty, i never realized that...

I never realized men... I never realized anyone so I'll just project everything I hate onto them. I hate everything and I can't seem to find a healthy way of dealing with my traumas and emotions. I don't like it when you tell me the truth. I don't understand it at all why you pish me away. I can't help myself damn it. It's hard to be a woman.

I never meant anything to anyone

I never meant anything to myself too. I hate everyone who has a life outside of orbiting me.

It's hard to be entitled and a woman at the same time. Why do you push fucking away holy shit. I refuse to get a life fuck you.

>>16499259
Do you like my friendzone? Does it feel warm and fuzzy?

at first I visited you because I wanted to see you, to hang out. then, I realized how fucking bitter and jaded you are and it became me just travelling to get laid. and you accused me of it, and I denied it. I should have told you the entire truth, then. You weren't going to make it official, and I was too scared of everything to ask. I'm still scared of my own fucking shadow.

At any rate, I spent hundreds of dollars in gas to go see you, an ungrateful fuck who sits on his ass and complains that no one ever comes to hang out with him.

I was really hoping you'd changed, but it seems you complain more than ever, now.

J-

A part of me really misses you, but the larger part of me is grateful. I don't regret stopping my weekends of binge drinking, and though I still drink like a fiend, I'm not going there three days in a row anymore. And so, I haven't seen you in at least two weeks.

I sometimes wonder if I register on your radar, but I've decided I'm grateful for this chance to forget you.

M

I've had a bunch of family die, caused me to drop out of college. I've been back for a full year now, GPA is good. But with being older, its hard for me to feel like I belong. Home for thanksgiving, I don't feel like i belong with whats left of my family. Spent a few weeks with friends from high school this summer and I honestly don't feel like I belong there either. It isn't loneliness, I have friends now, I just haven't connected with anyone in a meaningful way for years.
It is becoming slowly evident to me, how fucked in the head I actually am.
I hope you guys are doing better than I am right now.

I drive around this nearborhood blasting my favorite music. I feel good. I hear always hear laughter from the pedestrians a lot. I'm just going to work at the carnival nearby. Yeah you piss me off future roadkill. I'll blast my music whether you like it or not.

Dear Terrance McKenna and Carl Sagan,

I appreciate your work so much. I feel like it's changed my life and is helping me change myself by re evaluating my life and the way I see things. You will never see this because you have passed on but thank you for your remarkable work. I hope more people see it and open their eyes and minds.

-E

>>16504067

I enjoyed the Radiolab episode with Ann Druyan. Made me realize that love exists.

>>16504047
It really is quite interesting, how she thinks by being mean to me I will like her more. Either she's crazy by thinking this will help her case or she's just mean, ie heartless. The fact she doesn't she see or gladly uses the fact I'm in a shitty state (also thanks to her) against me by trying to ridicule me for dealing with the damage she caused is beyond absurdity. The fact I'm still here talking about it means that yes I do have issues. But I'm not a shitty person. I'm just feeling shitty because I have been dealing with people like her my whole life. No more. I'm choosing happiness, aka a life without a girl like her. It will be funny to see what she does when I'm happy. In all likelihood she'll try to destroy it. And when she'd succeed, she mocks me for being unhappy. Talk about mindrape. Very macabre indeed. I thought I saw a good heart behind all your abusive behavior, but that's probably just my own wish for it to be true. There is really nothing I can point to that proves that in fact there is good inside of you. Were youu born this way? What is wrong with you, girl? Please try to hurt me in response to this and try to "comfort" me after, like you have before. What? Comforting me for you by you? Seems like cutting you out would be the best thing to do. If only, because I seem like the mean one for writing this down. The only reason I am writing this down is because I tried, I cared. And you happily used that against me or something? You're obviously not capable of this thing called love. I don't know why you keep trying to contact me and why you keep trying to post on 4chan about me. You're probably just trying to ridicule me or something. Either way, I'm so over this ordeal, you can't even imagine. I'm not even writing this down for you or someone else. It's so that I feel better after you're calling me every name in the book, making me out to be something I'm not: an asshole.

>>16504074
>Radiolab episode with Ann Druyan

I shall watch that as well thanks :)

>>16504047

Oh to add: Do you also like my psychopathy, my lack of education, my overinflated ego, my lack of responsibility for anything I say or do?
Do you like my that I base my worth on how many men I slept with on a daily basis? Do you like that I chase decent guys away after my poker face melts off?

Yeah all you will ever get is my fading youth, and a life filled with unresolved batshit crazy crazy.

Yeah, you stay over there. Not existing in any zone I occupy. Good for you asshole. It's nice and cozy there I bet.

>>16504104
2/2
I wrote a whole lot more. But it disappeared due to a misclick. I'm not gonna write all that stuff again. The basic gist is: trying to engage is useless. You don't care. I care too much and don't are enough about my own health and happiness. I surely must be lacking in self-esteem and self-worth by engaging with you all the time. Well, in a weird way you helped me grow. But I'm not thanking you because that was never your intention. I keep trying to get at least an answer to the question: why are you mean to me for no reason? I can come up with multiple answers, but it doesn't matter. What matters is: you obviously do not care and I need to understand it in such a way that I know that you are uncapable of love. Well, so be it.

"L, you have no idea how much I love you." Sadistic much? L, you have no idea how shitty you really are. Or maybe you do, so me trying to see the good in you, gets met by mockery and laughter because you don't do. Just a theory. Don't assume me being on this board means I'm trying to contact you. I'm not. I'm just browsing 4chan, that's all.

I just want to order some fucking food. I know, it's thanksgiving, but its goddamn 5 pm. someone should be open. I just want a pizza, or some chinese. something. I have no one here, I would like to have some food. there is practically no food in my house. you know what I'd be thankful for? some goddamn pork fried rice, beef lo mein, and two eggrolls.

FUCK THE HOLIDAYS.

>>16504171
A lot of chinese food places are closed on Thanksgiving but some of them remain open, at least in my area. Did you google "Chinese food <your city> open Thanksgiving"?

>>16504153

L is a terrible human bean. One I knew was psychotic and broke up groups of friends for no good reason than to cover up his own shittiness.

>>16504123
Ah, the blame game. How original. Take responsibility for your actions for once in your life, ok? Your last sentence doesn't even make sense. Is this the person behind your obviously fake niceness? Nice to see you again. I've been seeing you more and more lately. The niceness has been wearing off. Hey, thanks for making me feel extra shitty over here! I wasn't feeling shitty AT ALL before, and I'm feeling even better now! Thanks girl! In all seriousness, how can you live with yourself. I'm just gonna stop talking to you now. I seem like such a fucking mean person right now. But really it's in reaction to you obviously. But I don't need the world to think I'm a degenerate scumbag, because it's obviously you who is the batshit crazy one. You hide your meanness well with your pretty smile. I look mean, but am nice. You are the opposite, but you knew that already. And it's not like you care. If anything, you're probably laughing your ass off right now for me making such an enormous fool off myself once again. Thanks again! Ima try picking up the pieces now and make the best off it. Oh and when I feel better. Please don't come here and try to destroy that as well. Maybe be nice for once. Cya!

>>16503700
This hit me hard desu senpai.

Alexis

Why have you randomly stopped talking to me? We've been talking daily for like 3 years. We hardly stopped talking. Not even when we broke up. Not even when I moved thousands of miles across the planet. We've always been super close. And recently we've been growing closer. Constant flirting. Even your friends have been noticing. Sparks were flying between us again. I was expecting us to have a conversation about our future soon. About what we were and what we wanted to be. But I guess not.

You went cold overnight. Tiny responses. Not even seeming interested in talking to me. You noticed that I got frustrated by this, but you did nothing to try and keep me around. You just stopped talking to me. No explanation. I still have no clue what happened.

It just makes me feel like you never gave a shit about me in the first place.

I fucking love you.

>>16504186

Oh and I forgot to say:

I just want to say sorry that you knew who I truly was and still decided to be friends with me. I'm sorry that you were nice to me despite being an intolerable downer most of the time. I'm sorry that you knew me and just decided to tell the truth on an anonymous forums. I'm sorry that I can't accept the truth because of my over inflated ego. I'm sorry I failed myself and hurt everyone around me. Sorry that I exist on these boards and now I feel bad. Bye!

>>16504206
You can't dodge that bullet now hunny. You're my possession, you know that right. I'm putting you in a cage now, you've been mean again! But don't you worry, I'll feed you and stroke you on the head like the good little pig that you are. I have my own Hans now! A great plaything. Now let's go find Gretel.

>>16504236
I know I've got oneitis no need to rub it in nigga.

>>16504254
If you treat your oneitis like this, I feel really sorry for the people who are not your oneitis.

>>16504180
yup, all the decent ones are closed. i got a digiorno pizza, whiskey, ice cream, and cigarettes now though, so hey, happy thanksgiving. the most hallow words ever spoken by my family.

at least I'm going snowboarding for christmas. even if everything falls through, I will drive to the goddamn mountains, I will max out my 1500 credit limit, and I'm going fucking boarding. if everything falls through I'm smoking pot too and sleeping with some shady tourist chick.

happy fucking holidays everyone.

>>16504259
What?

>>16504254

>nigga

What is this, everything you say is ignored at this point.

>>16504280
You must be really uneducated if you don't understand what it says. Change yourself, instead of attacking others.

you know what, the homeless dude that bummed cigarettes off me was nicer and more genuine than my former friends ever were. happy thanksgiving.

someday I'm gonna make it and you know what? I'm gonna pretend I don't fucking know any of you people.

oh yeah mom, everyone is sooooo far below you, don't even bother talking to the rest of the family, hell don't talk to me, gotta get me off the phone as soon as possible. the disgraceful son. you know, I would have been educated and rich if you hadn't have DRANK AND SMOKED AWAY MY FUCKING MONEY. yeah, thats the truth. then when the opportunity came I went to use my money, oh, its all FUCKING MISSING. act like I'm shit but keep the pretense of family going. you fucked my life up multiple times and ruined my big opportunity. three months later I watched as the investment I was going to make increased 1000%. you realize that's once in a lifetime? that a sure stock bet like that comes around once in a lifetime? do you fucking understand what you did? no, you don't. you just see your broke son that doesn't have a college degree, BECAUSE YOU SMOKED AND DRANK MY COLLEGE FUND AWAY TOO. fuck. fuck your condescension.

>>16504326
no one can ever take responsibility for their actions. no one in my entire life that has fucked me over has ever taken responsibility. even to the point of just apologizing. 1500 goes missing, and I don't get so much as a "sorry" from my mom. thanksgiving, the time when shit comes to the surface and everyone tells you its all your fault.

fuck people.

This has been a really bad thanksgiving. I'm feeling heartbroken and hopeless right now.

>>16504343

nothing can be worse than watching a facebook feed of all your friends at a Thanksgiving dinner that you weren't invited to, or not having any family, debt piling up and not even sure I'm going to be able to afford rent.

>>16504354
Im hurting for other reasons. I'm surrounded by family but I just want to be alone. There's no fucking winning lol

>>16504343

You're with us now so it's probably going to get worse.

>>16499259

Believe in yourselves!
Believe in a better future!
Nice fantasyland delusion!
Then work like a slave!
But use money for dream!
Then free yourself!
Become master!
Then free others!
Realize it is all a game!

Pls?

why does every one seem to be so at ease with the whole trusting, opening up and communicating in an understanding way with another person deal. I've been in therapy for 5 years and I work so hard to achieve something everyone else seems to get effortlessly. And I'm sure as hell not catching up. I don't know why I'm always so socially anxious and resistant to intimacy, even in just friendship. I suppose it's required a certain level of vulnerability and I just don't allow myself to go there, without even realising I'm doing it. I just don't know.

My life is all over the place mentally. I kind of like being alone without having to answer to anyone, yet I feel lonely. My mind tells me to brace for a cold and lonely winter because of my choices but my heart tells me it was for the best right now

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
HAVING CHILDREN IS A MISTAKE
MARRYING IS A MISTAKE
FUCK FUCK SUPERFUCK THOSE WHO SAY OTHERWISE.

you're a liar. you're the worst liar I've ever fucking met.
you tell me one thing, get my hopes up, and then you take it back. I can't trust you any more. I'm falling out of love with you. Soon you'll be nothing to me.

>>16504457
NO REALLY, THIS DESERVES ALLCAPS, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
a) TOO MANY PEOPLE ON THE WORLD
B) YEAH, HAVE KIDS, IT'S ONLY A LIFELONG RESPONSIBILITY AND MONEY AND EMOTIONAL DRAIN FOR LIFE. yaaaay!

>>16503700
Initials?

>>16504461
Just like me right now....tell me anon, is she worth it now?
...as we speak im at my aunts house who is ~ 4 minutes away from her house and all I can think of is her....but she lied

>>16504465
BIGGEST MISTAKE IN LIFE = HAVE KIDS

MARRYING MIGHT BE IF YOU ARE SUPERRICH, BUT NOT YOUR CASE IS IT?

>>16504471
it's a he. but he WAS worth it. He's just deciding that I'm not, and I'm taking it pretty damn hard.
my heart fucking aches and if he asked me to come see him right now, I would. He's slipping away from me and I can't stop it.
If it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. I'm scared I'm going to fall out of love with him completely. This is really it for me, I don't want or need anyone else.

>>16501192
Same ...same here anon...

>>16504461
But... I love you!...Na!! Just kidding.

>>16503700
>>16504468
To E, from R.

>>16501703
I wish I could hug you anon.
I know your feel.

>>16504461

also you never really meant anything to me and right now I'm filled with seething rage. i'm gonna take it out on you even if you did nothing wrong.

>>16504457

>kids

good luck in this day and age if you are poor

>>16504461
>>16504461
>>16504461
Will you finally leave me alone then?

>>16504545
No, I'm gonna stalk you for the rest of your life!

>>16504547
No, you're not. How did I get into this? It was just coffee, nothing more nothing less.

>>16504547
lol

>>16504553
Love. This can be healed.

You're the only one getting in your way.

>>16504556
Initials?

>>16504558
c.

>>16504558
Why?

>>16504561
What?

>>16504558

It's actually J

>>16504558
Don't get fooled, it's actually A

This is why fist fights should be required to settle disputes. Otherwise this pussy passive agressive nonsense starts happening.

Alright faggots who's first? I'll nail you good.

>>16504560
>>16504564

All you had to do was follow the damn train CJ.

>>16504569
Who is fighting?

>>16504574

Holy ghosts

Let's stand on the corner, throw rocks at people
So there's no surprises, written off as evil
I sleep next to women that I don't deserve
They like to hurt my pride, while I work their nerves
Once upon a time, it was worth it
When the urges get fed
And the purpose finds a path to the surface
Is respect considered a breakfast food?
I'm guilty of the type of attitude that wrecks your mood
The truth can be pain, and I hate to do it
Either face the music, or get away from me stupid
Super glue it down, now it better not move
See I'm not the best, but I'm in the top two
And I'm not that friendly, when this cup is empty
It's a side effect from trying to find the fucks that sent me
See I didn't just happen, I was made this way
By the same egomaniac that paved this way

>>16504569
I agree.