So I got a coffee-date lined up with a girl, and I was just curious about the "logistics" involved. Like, play-by-play. Do I meet her out front and walk in together? Stand in line to order together? Or do I show up before her, maybe ask what she wants and have it waiting? Never really thought about those specifics until now...
>>16495876
Sit outside like a boss and wait for her, then go in. Don't do any beta shit like holding the door or paying for her drink.
>>16495876
You can wait outside or just have her get there first so you don't have to worry about it but everyone does things differently.
>>16495876
wow what some people think about... wtf does it matter? just go there, if your on time, text or call her and see if she's already there. if your early go inside and get a table, text her that you're already inside and wait for her. just don't be late!
Jesus talk about overthinking things.
Funny thing. You can afford everything as long as your confident doing it. Or just fake it.
>>16495884
fucking normies
I'm traditional, so usually I expect the guy to come and pick me up for dates. But if you're just meeting her there, I would say get a table first then have her text you when she's here, then come out and greet her. Go back in and order together, and fucking pay for her. Be a gentleman and not a stingy cunt, you can afford to pay 5 bucks for her coffee.
>>16495920
>you can afford to pay 5 bucks for her coffee.
so can she, ya goldigger
>>16495920
god how I hate this fucking "pay for her" attitude. why the fuck does the guy have to pay for her drink on a first date?! explain that to me. you say he can afford to pay for her coffee, but how do you know that? maybe he is really tight on cash right now and 5 bucks is a lot for him. is that a reason not to date him?
I'm so glad women in my country did not adapt this US "the guy has to pay" attitude yet.
where I come from, women are proud to pay their own shit, because they work for their money and don't need a guy to pay for them as if they were little helpless kids.
>>16495928
yeah scream "equality!!" every chance they get, but expect the guy to hold the door for them and pay for their drink/food.
pay for your own shit!
>>16495936
this desu senpai
>>16495932
You really can't tell. That girl says she's "traditional" but if you hadn't known, it would be just as likely if you hold the door and offer to pay she would yell at you for being an insulting chauvinistic patriarch.
>>16495928
>>16495932
Because it's a sign of class and manners. And believe me, it's only western people who sit there and calculate how much each person's share is like poorcunts. I'm middle eastern so it's expected. My father did the same for my mother and she's hardly a gold digger, she works and contributes to the family too. But on dates, as a sign of class, he always pays. it's not about 'ability to pay', it's simply manners.
>>16495920
whole generation of women who get their dating advice from sex and the city.
why can't you pay for your own drink? would it bankrupt you?
whenever I'm out drinking and I talk to a girl and she says "hey wanna buy me a drink?" I just turn around and leave without saying anything. if during the first 5 minutes into a conversation she already expects me to pay for her shit, there is no way in hell I want that person in my life.
that's my dating advice! women who expect guys to pay for them are just another form of gild diggers. this cycle needs to end!
do this anon, ask her if she's buying and see her reaction. if she's cool, she'll say, "yeah sure". if not, just leave.
>>16495946
Lol another stingy bitter cunt detected.
Sure, I'll pay, once we're seeing each other regularly. If you're courting me and wanna get into my pants, sorry bud but a tightwad isn't attractive. Holding the door and making sure I sit down first is nice too. I'll never ask a guy to pay for me; if he doesn't make the gesture by himself, I'll just pay my share or pay the whole damn tab and never see him again. That's life.
>>16495945
hey listen I don't have a problem paying every once in a while. but if she expects me too, I say, fuck that pay for your own shit.
like I said, women scream for equality every chance they get, but then they cherry pick the stuff they want to keep old fashioned, because it benefits them. you can't have it both ways. you can't ask for 100% equality but then expect a man to have values from the 50s.
you either want old fashioned or you want modern and equal.
on my first date with my fiance I offered to pay and she insisted on picking up that tap because she works, she makes her own money, she doesn't need me to take care of her.
And that is the attitude a lot of women have where I'm from. they're independent and want to be seen as equals.
>hey i'm anon
>didn't think you'd show up
>what are you drinking?
>must have a stressful job? what do you do?
>oh I do xxxxxx
go from there
>>16495876
I just fell in love.
>>16495953
I'm not bitter at all. Like I said, I'm from a country where women think very different about this. Sure some see it like you and expect the guy to pay, and I'm totally fine with paying. it's just when they, like you, EXPECT me to where I get pissed off.
because just like you, they pass up on a guy just because he sees things different than they do. why is this such a big deal? I offer to pay 50% of the time maybe and the other 50% of the time I expect them to pay. because that's what equality is. 50/50.
>>16495966
That's fine, that's your opinion, but some people are raised to think that it is extremely rude. I'm far from a gold digger and pay the entire tab for my friends and boyfriend quite a bit. I just expect it in the very beginning when he's the one trying to ask me out and court ME. Going dutch is unheard of where I'm from, and to be honest a little classic romance in the beginning doesn't hurt anyone. I don't mind being traditional in other certain aspects and being the one to always cook dinner for example. It is a big deal because if you don't agree on these kinds of matters in the beginning, then let's say you get married or some shit there's gonna be arguments all the time about money and bla bla bla. My expectations are high since my boyfriend is the type who says "my money is your money because you are family to me." Does that mean I wanna spend all his money? No, but the feeling that he's got a gentlemanly quality to him is nice.
>>16495972
Ok I get that and you're probably right if you don't see eye to eye on these things in the beginning you might run into problems later. BUT like I said, I have no problem paying and I offer to (at least I used to during my dating phase) but it's also nice to have a girl say "hey you know what, I had a really great time, you're a nice guy, I'll take care of the tab this time".
You say he has to ask you out and court YOU, that's part of the problem for me. Women always have this expectancy that the guys have to wine and dine them, but I think in light of all this equality talk it is time to change that attitude as well. Because let's face it, it starts with the little things. And if women around the world expect the guys to pay for them and buy them stuff (not saying you do, I just mean in general), they will never be seen as anything else than armcandy.
you want to be seen as equal? fine, buy a guy a beer on your first date and see how he reacts. because it says just as much about the guys character when he pays as it does about a woman when she offer to pick up the tab.
