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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I know this is going to be horribly immature but I need to talk to someone and ask advice on how to deal with insecurity and self-doubt/envy/jealousy in a relationship because i know my behavior is unacceptable yet I cant seem to stop it. Also my keyboard is broken so this will take me years to type on my onscreen keyboard.
My boyfriend who I adore asked me what my ideal 'mate' was. Straight up it's him like 150%. He has always said I'm his ideal and that I'm out of his league (which is ridiculous). However tonight he said his ideal is a girl who has very light white hair. I am the opposite, my hair is nearly jet black. His ex however has platinum blond hair. He also has said in the past the only fetish-esk thing he has is the inner thigh bone that very thin girls have, which I do not thanks to my thunder thighs.
I have body dysmorphic disorder so just existing in my body is pathetically sad to me (which I'm trying to better myself in dealing with BDD) so when he told me I was fairly hurt as it seems like he wants the opposite of me.
He has gone to bed after I said I was upset (could have gone better on my part) and he told me to fuck off (which I know is because I pushed it). I feel like I'm not what he wants & I'm not good enough.
I'm not good enough.
TL;DR how to deal with insecurity in relationship?
>>16492641
>I have body dysmorphic disorder
step one, stop being a special snowflake, step two if it bothers you, lose weight, step three, he probably misses his ex
>>16492641
>and he told me to fuck off
You either take this advice or you don't. But I hope you do.
Leave him. Someone who responds to you like that at your most vulnerable is not the man you want standing with you when you get older, fatter, pregnant etc...
I know you won't leave him, but I couldn't leave him for years, until one day I did and I can't believe I wasted years on someone like him.
>>16492646
TL;DR how to deal with insecurity in relationship?
I do appreciate the advice I didnt ask for though. However I'm not looking for that in this thread. That label was put on me my a therapist around 4 years ago now and honestly reading up about it I dont doubt it at all because its the closest thing that explains my inner-dumbness when it comes to my appearance. Not everyone is trying to hide behind labels, I wish I wasn't this way as it would make connecting to people so much easier. Working on losing weight, and as for missing his ex, thats why I made this thread asking for help dealing with insecurity.
>>16492654
I'm glad you got out of that situation, however my life is too intertwined with his, vacations booked etc and I love him too much to walk away
>>16492641
This is why you don't stick your dick in crazy, folks.
As for you OP, better solve ypur issues sooner than later because you're gonna end up single if you continue down that road. Good luck.
>>16492683
Looking of advice dude, attempting to sort it out.
No $$ for therapy. I'd like to think my other qualities make up for my insecurities.
Well then change your hair, topkek.
>>16492782
my hair will have to be cut into a pixie cut if i were to bleach it that bad and he doesnt like short hair
>>16492641
>what is a wig?
>>16492641
Everyone has an ideal fantasy "type" but very few restrict themselves to that type in real life.
I'm an older guy. My "type" is something like Jennifer Aniston. But looking back, less than a third of the girls and women I've been with even remotely resemble that type. That's because in real life I'm attracted to the person inside the wrapping, and because I'm attracted to her, I find the outside beautiful.
The point is that the mere fact that he says he finds platinum blondes attractive does NOT mean he finds you unattractive.
He is, after all, with you.
