The time has come yet again, and so have I with another thread full of solutions and wisdom.
Come and ask, and an advice shall follow no matter what your problem is, whether it be relationships, an illness, existentialism or anything else.
The less vague you are the more helpful the replies can be. Replies may take a while, some even hours, but you are guaranteed an advice back, full of wisdom™ !
Everyone else is free to give their advice as well.
HACHI ROKU?
AM I FKED?
IT'S A BURNING DESIRE
Wasted 5 years of my life and money in College. I went and never met anyone worthwhile and ended up dropping out in the long run after changing majors 3 times. I'm now in severe debt with a Systems Engineering job that pays me 14$ an hour and knows that I need the money so a raise has been deemed impossible without a degree. On top of all of this I have no familial support and can't possibly get more student debt for a school that I can't even afford the time to go back to now.
>>16489379
Why did you even go to school if you are going to go in debt
Sm,h family
How do normal people deal with awkward silences in conversations?
How do they avoid them?
Im pretty bad at this and i feel like every conversation i have is a failure
![[W]24761824519.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rMmW3sJ.jpg "[W]24761824519.jpg")
>>16489360
If it's a reference it escapes me unfortunately.
>>16489379
Firstly, you need to put your priorities in order and understand what you wish to do with your life.
Do you want to move up in the Systems Engineering job that you are considering to once again take a course over, or is it just to earn a higher wage? Will that course give you your dream job, THE thing you want to do?
What are the details on your debt, can you meet the monthly/yearly installment of your debt payment with your current job? How long will it take you to be done with your debt doing what you do?
If you are considering going back to studying and deepening your debt just to find a higher paying job you will hate, I wouldn't suggest it. Keep your current job, find another side job if you can and endure it until you can pay your debt back. This may take you a few years, but unfortunately you have fallen into the US college trap, yet this isn't the end of the world. All you need to do is not to panick, have a clear vision of what it is you want to do, and focus on one thing at a time while keeping yourself optimistic; for you have no reason not to be optimistic.
Deal with your debt, then sit down and think about what you really want to do, instead of taking a course you don't care about. Do you wish to 'make a lot of money'? Then you may consider taking another course after you pay your debt. Do you wish to just spend time with elephants and a job based around that? Then do exactly that; it could be anything.
>>16489393
By not caring about them. Very easy to say, very easy to do as well, once you understand.
Silences do not have to be awkward, it is only your own thinking that "makes" the silences awkward.
You are conversing with someone and you both have nothing else say. You have nothing else you want from the person you've been conversing with and vice versa, you also happen to be stuck there with that said person. Is the following silence akward?
If you have more things you wish to say or ask to that said person, you should do that.
If you wish to make more small talk, if just for the sake of it, then just do that.
If there's nothing, silence is completely fine, infact it's valuable.
What you are likely stuck on is the situations where you wish to further the conversation but you stop yourself by thinking too much about it.
Don't. Just let things flow, say stupid things, it's fine. You want to talk about the weather or just what you had for breakfast just because you wish to continue speaking to that person? Do it, don't think about what others will think about you, just follow your instincts, your heart will guide you. The more you do this the quicker you will be rid of it, it will be so fast you won't even remember why you had this "issue" in the first place.
What are some tips on really focusing on learning and self-improvement. My logical self wants to, but I'm hindered by my emotions that tell me it's all too hard, go treat yourself
I'm in my early twenties and live with my parents. They rarely ever travel so whenever I bring up the subject (or even walk towards the front door of the house out of my work uniform) I get bombarded with questions about what I'm doing and that I can't do this or that. It's very frustrating because I'm more or less becoming a shut-in and none of my other relatives talk to me this way - they actually encourage me going out more or trying to plan a big trip for myself. How can I get them to become more accepting of me doing things I want to do instead of them always trying to tag along or shoot me down?
![[W]1286518294340.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/IyLR4Li.jpg "[W]1286518294340.jpg")
>>16489461
The key is to jumo over the block you've created that keeps you there doing nothing, and it's the hardest part. Once you are done with that you will carry yourself, you will have no fears about it, and you will enjoy yourself.
Once you are done with understading what it is that you want to do to improve yourself (it can be something very specific, or it can be as broad as just reading more books), you need to gather your will.
Gather your will and make a pact with yourself, and promise yourself that you will do something with your day, no matter how small. Your goal is to get over that barrier your mind constructed and it's the only challange, one of the best ways to get over it is to keep things easy, while moving towards the goal.
Make the step so small that your mind won't object to it. If it's a book you want to read, tell yourself you'll read 5 pages of it, today. Just five pages, don't delay it, don't think on it, just do it right there. If it's drawing you want to improve on, tell yourself 5 minutes, all you have to do is 5 minutes of drawing, today, starting now.
With this you will start moving, and with this you will realize there is no reason to fear nor is there any hardship and with this you will realize there is much joy to be had.
Gather your will and start easy.
>>16489477
They are mostly likely just overly concerned. They may have concerns that you'll do drugs, get into an accident, that you are trying to get away to do some illegal thing or what have you.
What you need to do is to sit down, and construct a speech telling your parents how it's unhealthy for you to be spending all your time indoors, how they have nothing to worry about you doing anything illegal (only if it's true), and how they have nothing to worry about. Then all you need to do is talk to them. If you present this well enough this should no longer be an issue. If at your first try you can't ease them enough, which I assume will happen, just try again. Make a better speech present your points well, be persistent about it, you shall have no troubles.
I don't value my accomplishments. I have no pride in what I've done or what I own. It all feels incredibly hollow.
I've a full time job, a car, a house, a family that cares, I'm not living paycheck to paycheck... For some reason it doesn't matter right now.
The only time I feel something besides this pit in my gut is when I'm playing video games. It's nothing like joy. Something more like normalcy.
I don't know what to do to better balance this out. Depression meds & SSRI's scare me.
Even though I have positive things in my life, I've felt so pessimistic lately. To the point where everything feels empty and pointless. The only thing that makes me happy at this point is my fiancé. But besides that I feel like nothing else matters and everything is pointles and I don't enjoy anything. I used to enjoy doing martial arts, going to the movies, going to the bar with my friends and just being around others. I don't even want to hang with my best friends anymore. I just want to badly to sincerely enjoy life again. I have a friend who sincerely enjoys living, he still gets genuinely excited about things and isn't cynical and I feel so jealous of that. How do I get that feeing back?
It's like I can't feel happiness
So I've been crushing on a college classmate of mine. We are total opposites in a lot of different ways, but we get along well. I've never been able to hold a steady relationship, and she's been dating the same guy for about 3 years now, I am not sure if she is still dating him, I don't have any social media accounts but my friend stalked her profile for me and told me the last picture she took with her be was over 3 months ago. Lately we have been talking more, and back to back to weekends she told me to text her when I got to our collegetown bars so we could hangout. Last week I fucked up and got too drunk, and this weekend she told me her phone was dead all night and apologized the morning after for not replying. I told her she owes me a drink and she agreed. I guess what I'm asking is, should I skip all this "let's meet up sometime at a neutral place with our friends" and just outright ask her out?
>>16489518
Medication for depression, or any other modern medicine designed to "help" "mental conditions" are never the answer, and without fail they make things worse.
The state you are in is your is your soul speaking to you, and it's telling you that money isn't what it's made up to be and you need something else to be happy, to feel fullfilled.
You need time, your full time job sucks up your valuable time where you do things you don't care about, just for the money. You need time to spend more time with your family and show them affection, you need time to do things you care about, you need time to sit down and think what it is that you want from life. And if your mind is a blank when you think about what it is that you actually wish to do, do not fret, for if you just put aside some time for yourself and think about it, it will find you.
You and your family do not have to be rich, or even above average in income to be happy and healthy, find another source of income and focus on what your heart wants to do. Most likely then not you will find that you will eventually have the thing you wish to do as your source of income as well.
>>16489348
I made a thread yesterday but I'm still dwelling on it a bit so I'll ask here.
My friends don't invite me out anymore.
When I was living back home, I had a group of friends that gradually stopped inviting me out with them, and any time I'd invite them to something they'd say they're busy with work or school. After seeing pictures of them doing fun things without me on facebook a bit too much, I assumed they just didn't want me around any more, and it was time for me to make some new friends.
After I moved away for college I made a new group of friends. I was getting invites to go out again, and I had people to invite things to again. Then about a month later, the same thing happened. I see them on facebook all of the time doing fun things without me without inviting me. Any time I invite them to something, they're busy. It hurt especially when I saw a photo of them all having a big early thanksgiving dinner without me.
I'm not a douche, annoying, creepy, not very awkward, or boring. Why does this keep happening to me?
Should I try and salvage this group or find a new group again? I really liked these people.
>>16489542
I will look into this. While I'm fine with the job I have now, it definitely wouldn't hurt to see what else is out there.
Thanks anon.
>>16489530
Remember from those days where you felt normal enjoying the things you do, what changed? Did you start taking medication for a certain condition? Have you had less time to spend for yourself and the things you wish to do? Did your view of the world change? Did you suddenly realize the friends you have aren't the kind you wish to keep and the things you do isn't for you?
You need to ask yourself these questions, just take your time and think about these, and think about what you want to do. If at first it feels like there's nothing, it only means you need more time to think about it. If you come up with something and seek further advice you can post in this thread again if you wish.
![[W]The Matterhorn, Switzerland.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/wfVCez5.jpg "[W]The Matterhorn, Switzerland.jpg")
I am gone for about two hours I will reply back to
>>16489533
>>16489543
you anons, and any other post when I get back; apologies for now.
>>16489567
No worries
Okay, I'll bite because I don't want to make a thread for this one. It's complicated yet simple enough to greentext.
>i'm a loner (schizoid even)
>go through short phase of pretending to want to talk to girls on okcupid
>find one girl I might actually like, message her, no response
>afk from okcupid for a while
>I get enough details from supervisor at work to realize that the new girl they're hiring is the girl I messaged
>delete okcupid profile
>sure enough, she gets hired and I was right, it's her
>she's extremely timid but smart, pretty, even more shy than myself however
>she's probably out of my league, a year older than me and has college education, I don't even have hobbies so much anymore
>never mention the okcupid thing to her, make believe it never happened
>keep communication strictly work related
>she tries to get me into a D&D spinoff game she plays
>I tell her I'd have to read the manual before I can decide
>never tell her whether I finished reading the manual
>she still occasionally brings up the games she's DMing
>recently, asks me what i'm doing this weekend, I play it off like I may or may not be busy
>ask what she's doing this weekend
>mentions she's DMing a game that is newbie-friendly
>I neither decline nor agree, I choose to do nothing here
>Still impossible to tell for sure if she realizes I'm the okcupid guy
>Still impossible to tell for sure if she's interested
>Not sure if I'm a narcissist for believing she might be interested
>But if she is, I don't want to continuously make her feel like shit for never being like "Yes I'd love to do that"
>Pretty sure she is self conscious about her appearance, no good reason for it though
Oh, and my supervisor:
>"She's single, you know..."
>"Yeah. I know."
Work has become stressful because of this. I've been drinking more just to fast forward through the week because it constantly feels like I'm maneuvering a spacecraft through a minefield in this situation. The hard part is that this woman so quiet.
I've met a girl in my class and she is really amazing. She is super nice and thoughtful not to mention very beautiful. But there are several issues.
>1. Chasing after my dream right now and may leave the country soon. Getting offers, from other countries and shit
>2. She seems to be more comfortable with people of her own race.
>3. She probably does not like me in the same way right now so I'd have to get her alone and game her a bit.
>4. She never had a boyfriend before probably never kissed a guy before and I stink of a man who wants to fuck and leave. No one even has to tell me I already know I don't look trust worthy
>5. She is basically an angel and I'm nothing but vice and laziness.
Should I go for it? I really like her just seeing her smile makes me happy you know. I'm really scared once I leave I'll never see her again and I don't want her to be another one who got away. The only other guys I am competing against have never even slept with a girl before so it's not like another guy is on it already.
I'm not some kid fresh out of highschool or some 24 year old who never got pussy I just found myself unexpectedly falling for the nice girl who does everything right. Please help me out here /adv/
>>16489596
And a few more necessary details:
>she's always asking me if I need help with anything at work, moreso than she asks the other coworker
>she doesn't smoke or drink, but even after learning that I do both of those things, she hasn't stopped mentioning the D&D thing
>we do have similar interests
>I'm not going to rule out that she is only interested in me as a friend
>I'm uncomfortable around her because of schizoid and because I think I might actually like her
>Ultimately, if I could choose to have none of this ever happen, or to have something good come of this, I'd rather have none of it happen
All of the lines are blurry. If I could watch this situation in the third person it would be easier. Nobody knows what's going here except the two of us, though, and we might both have different interpretations of the situation. Other coworkers have no idea.
>>16489348
I've been looking at this cute guy at work for a while. The other day I finally got the courage to sit down on our break and talk with him. He's pretty cool. How do I advance things with him without seeming like a total creeper? I just want to hang out with him outside of work but I don't know how to do it without feeling creepy.
>>16489662
I'm not OP but I'll give you especially valuable advice coming from someone who hasn't been out with a girl in over a year.
>I just want to hang out with him outside of work
Just ask him. Girls are especially lucky since the chance of coming off as creepy is much less than for guys.
Maybe sit down with him again on your break a few times and then ask him to something fun. That's my expert advice. Don't wait too long though.
>>16489694
This is true. It's just hard because he works in a totally different department than I. And I work in a REALLY big place. So the only chance I have to talk to him is when I work the crowd control.
![[W]Bratsigovo ,Rodopi mountain, Bulgaria.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/W2xDxDH.jpg "[W]Bratsigovo ,Rodopi mountain, Bulgaria.jpg")
>>16489533
Yes, you should just ask her out. She obviously enjoys your company, and all there is left to do is to find out if she likes you the same way you do. Being frank and honest is the way to go, talk to her.
>>16489543
There's obviously something, and it doesn't necessarily have to be a fault or a shortcoming of yours. You should find out, and the best way to find out is to ask. Talk to one of them, one that you felt closest or one who has an honest personality, face to face if you can, on the phone as your second option, messaging/email as your last. Ask that person as to why they left you behind and ask that person to be completely honest. Make sure he/she understands that you won't be hurt by this and you are looking to understand and improve yourself.
The person you choose shall most likely respond to you with an answer you seek, if your first option avoids you then you can try the second, and if that person does so as well then you shall not grieve for you haven't lost anything of value. Seek a better community and friend circle to be a part of, there are many.
>>16489596
>>16489621
You are lying to yourself to and seeing yourself as inferior for no reason and it's unhealthy, drop it.
Don't think of others as above your league in any situation. And in your situation she's obviously interested in you and here you are typing that it's "impossible to tell", come on now. Stop calling yourself schizoid, stop thinking that you are schizoid it only does you harm.
Be honest with yourself, you were not going through "short phase of pretending to want to talk to girls on okcupid", you were seeking female attention, possibly find and meet with someone you like and it is nothing to be ashamed of. You have no reason to overthink this like you do. Why would she stop talking to you suddenly because you smoke and drink and she doesn't?
You are to talk to her, tell her that you like her and spend more time with her, and mention the okcupid encounter. Yes, you should mention it, even if for a short while as a passing subject, it will relieve the pressure and the burden you've put on yourself over something this insignificant, and it will make it less "awkward" for you.
Drop all the presumptions, stop talking yourself down, don't over think things. Go talk to her, go with her where she invites you, be casual about it but show your interest to her. A lot of the "problems" is what you put on yourself, do these and you'll be a lot happier.
>>16489605
Go for it. You obviously like her a lot, you'll regret not trying if you pass it up. Stop thinking about the little obstacles and insignificant things, go get her.
>>16489662
You are not a "total creeper" for asking someone out, you are a human being. Go for it, be frank about it and tell him that you like him, guys like honesty, people like honesty. This is good advice >>16489694
>>16489711
>the best way to find out is to ask
I like this. I was already planning on doing exactly that, except I didn't think much about honesty in the response. This is a unique situation, because the most honest person in the group (in my opinion) has already moved back home, and won't be coming back until next semester. I could ask her through the internet, or I could ask another one who is in my class in person. He, however, might be more of the type to walk on eggshells in order to not sound like an asshole. I'm not really sure.
I have to wait until after Thanksgiving break though, if I ask him.
I appreciate the advice. Who do you think I should ask?
>>16489758
It's better to ask someone who you think will be honest to you over the internet than talking to someone face to face who won't give you the whole truth. Speak with the genuine one over the phone if you can, internet if you can't.
>>16489766
Ok.
Thanks for the advice!
>>16489605
Anyone?
>>16489348
>>16489348
Why do I always feel so exhausted and just bad after social interactions?
Went to lunch with my friend at the bar he works at for cheap good food, and when we got there, he immediately went and talked to all the server girls he knows. I could do nothing but stand there. It was painful.
I can't fault him for going and talking to his friends, but when they sit around near us, and only talk to him, I just don't know what to do. I end up sitting on my phone or something, or trying to get into the conversation and get forced out.
And then I have to stand around again for another 10 minutes while he says bye to everyone on the way out.
It really sucks and I have no idea how to make friends or talk to anyone. By the time we leave I just feel tired and bad. What can I do to get into the conversation? Every time I introduce myself to these people they seem really uninterested in meeting or talking to me. I'm not even ugly
I guess I'm just boring.
>>16489782
I have a short reply here: >>16489717
In short, you should go for it.
>>16489717
Well, the smoking/drinking thing I mention because she's ... a lot more pure than myself, I guess? I have been pretty self-destructive in the past and even though that was years ago, I'm not sure if I should let anybody near that. I'm not sure about any of it, man.
Would it be inappropriate if I just waited for her to *directly* invite me to do something? I don't want to be the force that moves things here, but I'm not trying to be the immovable object, either.
>>16489783
Are you actually getting forced out of the conversation? Is the conversation topic about the things you are interested or care about? Are the people the kind you would be interested or care about? Does the same thing happen in most of the conversations/circles you are in or is it mainly just the specific bar your friend works at?
Making a friend is easy, at that said bar you can just approach someone and ask people questions and make small chat. People like being asked questions and making small chat. Getting into conversation is simply showing interest and weighing in your opinions, but if somehow you feel like everyone thinks you are boring, which is not possible, then it's just your mind set. Make sure you not forcing yourself to say things because you think it would be appropriate with the conversation, or just to fit in. You can make friends while talking about things you care about and just following your heart, infact it's a lot easier.
>>16489817
Thank you. And it seems to only really happen at this bar we were at. Typically the conversation is not about something I'm interested in either, so I find myself at a loss.
I think they might just not be my kind of people.
Typically I feel like I need to force myself to say something to fit in because it's better than the alternative: sitting there and saying nothing.
I guess I never really get the opportunity to say things I care about, and talking to new people is intimidating and immensely tiring.
Okay so, my boyfriend's mom told me something that happened to my boyfriend. I didn't think it was a big deal, and she never told me or implied our conversation was private. Later I mention it to my boyfriend like a "wow, you never told me this".
Apparently he was super embarrassed and when I left his house, he got into a big fight with his mother. She apparently called me a big mouthed whore and now he's not talking to her. I feel really, really bad about what happened, is there anyway to make this situation better?
>>16489800
I understand that feeling, you don't want to be the one who started it if "something goes wrong". But it's avoidance, it's the coward's way when your heart calls you to do something and you run away instead of working towards it.
You can make yourself a better person with her as your motivation, and she can find a good boyfriend in you, or at the very least a good friend. If you are worried about doing her wrong in anyway then you already know what not to do. Be more pure, like her.
And yes, it would be inappropriate if you just wait for her to approach you, as it seems she has approached you multiple times and you shut her down. The next time you see her, go to her and make small talk, and tell her that if she still has a spot in one of those role playing games she has going on, you would like the join. Don't over think it, don't go against the waves of your heart, show her interest and you will both be happier.
I am a bi female I've been asked by a guy who is in a relationship with a bi fiance to have a 3 way session I thought sweet I'm in expectations of a no strings attached file to follow but the guy is constantly messing me with love emotti and saying he loves me WTF I haven't done the deed yet and he doesn't know me how can he love me what's the crack is he expecting me to move in with them and keep us both or what I'm so confused and put off OPINIONS NEEDED THANKS
I have a huge problem with procrastination and I can never get my work done. Currently in university and freaking out because deadlines are coming up soon for a lot of my assignments. Any advice?
>>16489845
He thinks that shit earns him points it does not but he does not know that's all. Just say something like "I don't like to use the word love in this situation."
>>16489839
Exactly, it can be as simple as the crowd there at the bar and you being different kind of people. Unless the friend you have at the bar is someone you value greatly I would suggest you not to spend as much time in that bar and spend your time elsewhere, in a community where people share your interests and are like minded. Taking courses about something you are interested is great for this, it can be anything.
>>16489840
Firstly, call his mother and apologize, even if you feel like you've done nothing wrong. Give her a heartfelt apology and tell her that you'll be talking to her son.
Next, talk to your boyfriend and tell her it's no big deal (if it truly isn't). Tell him it's nothing to be embarassed about, and tell him that it's wrong that he got into a fight with his mom, and that he should make up with her. Tell her you apologized to her mom, and then apologize to him, and make sure he understands and make sure he tlaks to his mother.
So you don't think he's wanting us to all live together or something because I'm out of that's the case thanks for your reply A.A.A
>>16489845
>>16489861
He doesn't sound like a stable person, I would suggest you to walk away and have nothing to do with them.
Another suggestion would be not to participate in a threesome, whatever the situation. It doesn't end well and it provides nothing.
>>16489861
Def not some guys are just dumb or too handsome to know game properly.
>>16489857
Thank you for replying!
>>16489849
Thanks a lot. The friend is my roommate and we get along great just together, but I guess that's really the only place where we have common ground.
I'm going to take some courses next semester at community college, hopefully that will help.
Thanks a lot, this really helped.
>>16489866
>Hears one thing about a guy
>Unstable
Damn thats harsh.
>>16489841
I think you are right. I think I can keep myself from hurting anyone. I'm not an evil sociopath. I think I'll do that, ask her if she's still doing that. Being spontaneous scares the shit out of me, but life's getting boring. Thanks Anon.
>>16489846
Make it a goal for you to do something with your day, every day. To avoid falling into the trap of procrastination, do not delay doing anything at the start of the day. Start working on things as early as waking up after breakfast, how you start your day carries on to the rest. Make small goals in an organized way and work towards what you need to do.
For this you need to gather your will. Gather your will, sit down and make a plan of priorities and put some small goals over them as to not scare you, for that very day. I'm talking about today. As your goals are small and as you start working on them you will find they are not as grueling or as scary as you might have made them up to be, and things will flow there on. Hardest way is to start moving, and for this you need to gather your will.
Didn't get a response in the other thread. How fucked am I for dating? I'm 19 and have an eye condition that makes it impossible for me to drive. There is currently no surgery or operations to fix it, so I may never drive in my life. I take the bus everywhere and thankfully it's free cuz of college.
>>16489873
I'm only working with the information I'm given, and that is indeed how it sounds like to me.
>>16489872
That should definitely help, I can't talk enough about how great courses are.
>>16489877
Godspeed.
>>16489884
What do you mean by "gather your will"? Just psyche myself up?
>>16489891
Your eye condition has very little to do with your dating opportunities, that you need not worry over.
Here's a good book about how you can heal your eyes naturally from seemingly any condition. It starts off slow with scientific researchs, comparisons and examples, but there exists solutions of you keep reading, in the form of simple exercises. It's also available in other formats other than PDF, if you google it by the same name.
https://mega.nz/#!hZszWSIa!BD1fKI3KmLpE_3D04nxGJvwbvkbWpG5dSReiEtiAaXw
>>16489915
Yes, use your willpower and set your mind up to it, find the inner strenght to do the right thing and follow.
I'm a 21-year-old depressed university student with crippling social anxiety. While I'm aware of the fact that I've currently got a lot of different problems in my life and that my situation has gotten only worse and worse over the last 6 years or so, I have no motivation nor determination to do anything about these numerous issues that have slowly leaded me to this current life situation.
I believe that one of the reasons for this is my severe self-hatred. I also strongly believe that I've already managed to destroy my future anyway, so I find it very hard to see any point in attempting to improve my situation anymore. I don't even know how I could be able to change my life around all by myself, since it's become clear for me a long time ago what kind of a weak-minded person I am. There's really nothing that I'm looking forward in life anymore, and I could say that I'm not sure anymore whether or not I should keep on living.
>>16489946
You are in a dark place where you have no reason to be. You can type coherently, you get explain your problem well, you identify the problems you have and you are seeking for a solution, these alone tell me what you say about yourself is unfounded.
But thankfully the solution is simple also, as gloomy as things may look for you right now, believe me when I say it's all a curtain pulled over your eyes.
To start with, you need to stop hating yourself, obvious right? Firstly let me tell you that, you are straight up not capable of "destroying your future" at the age of 21, unless you go on a killing spree or something to that affect. It cannot be that you are weak-minded and you cannot have possibly realized that "a long time ago" when you are no where near done forging yourself.
In the mindset you are in it is understandable that you feel like you have nothing that interests you, or that you don't feel like moving forward, but giving up is not the way. Suicide is never the answer, just the thought of it does a person great harm. You are an intelligent human being and you can get through this by lifting up the unfounded and destructive self-hatred you have, and plenary understanding of the situation you are in.
You are to put aside all your pre-conceived thoughts about yourself, and you are to forbid yourself from focusing on negative thoughts. Straight up just dispel them from your mind the moment they appear. We are all human beings, we all make mistakes, we all look like idiots time to time. If you can identify yourself as "weak-willed" you already have done the hard part and there's left is to improve yourself, and this simply puts your further than more people than you can imagine.
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>>16489946
Once you begin to understand that you are in a much brighter spot than you think you are, once you understand that there is nothing wrong with you and once you understand that you can do whatever you set your mind up to and it is no big deal, you need to sit down and think. These may sound like things that are far away from you, but it can be reached as simple as just seeking advice on an anonymous image board, for it is the truth. After you reach that understanding, think about what you want to do. Not in the sense of "what I'll have to do after I graduate in one of the template jobs that are presented to me", but what you really want to do. It can be anything, you can realize that you want to become a watercolor artist, or a boatmaker or a gardener or a job where you simply interract with a lot of people, or a penguin master where you feed penguins all day, whatever you wish, the list is endless and there is certainly something for you which will give you happiness.
If this advice and this board doesn't do it for you, don't give up, for I promise you this is the truth and you will find it as long as you don't give up. Dispel the negativity and purge thought of suicide from your mind, a future awaits you where you shall be happy and fullfilled, and it's as easy as understanding the simple truth about life.
>bf of 1.5 yrs and I diagnosed bi-polar antisocial fucks
>we lived together until one day he literally just left out of nowhere, moving to Portland
>regretted it immediately and hasn't stopped contacting me with apologies and such; roomie won't let him back into house.
>he now has a steady income/career
He's been calling me wanting me to join him up there and do that whole grow together thing since he can afford to do so now. Should I do it? Love him dearly but I feel traumatized by his sudden leaving the first time. Also my life here does suck and the opportunity to be somewhere like Portland sounds like a lot of fun.
>>16490054
If you feel like he's being genuine about his apologies, you should do it, but first you should talk to him.
Ask him to tell you exactly what he was thinking and his reasoning behind him leaving you, and that he should tell you the whole truth, no matter how stupid he may sound. If what he tells you sounds genuine and makes a little bit of sense, you should give him another chance. People make mistakes, sometimes big ones.
But if anything similar happens again don't look back.
I actually dont know if I want to be foreveralone , forever. Not sure if Im missing out. Or how to stop feeling so cramped and antsy. if maybe theres more to this relationship thing than I thought. I've never even dated anyone. Theres lots of people who were interested but I just never feel like its a thing I want to pursue further. Parents are kinda worried about their daughter who is 22 and has nobody special in her life. Cuz yeah my mom saw my condom stash in my bag that i also put with my cash so she probably thinks I'm a hooker on the side
I feel cramped bored and antsy whenever I'm with anyone for an extended period of time, even my friends and family. I have to leave after an hour or 2 or else i will scream. But i like being social. I hate waiting around for people. Id rather I show up to their place/etc than wait for them to come to mine. I think i just like to be nomadic or smthn in general?
Maybe i am just not looking at people realistically??? Ive had convos with a couple people about this and none of them get why either theyre just confused
>>16490115
You do want a partner if your life, everyone does.
Maybe you haven't found the kind of people you feel comfortable to around, or maybe you have different expectations from people and about yourself. What is it that makes you want to scream when you spend time with others for a few hours, is it boredom? Do you not like the environment, the people, the discussions, the events? Do you just feel like going out and exploring? Is it the same feeling there when you are by yourself or does it only happen when you are with other people?
I think I can give a more helpful advice if you could answer some of these.
Alright bro I can see a lot of people are asking stuff so I will keep it quick.
>I've always been a failure since I was young it was marked on me
>I've been made fun of until I learned to stand up for myself.
>Even though I was ugly I always got a friend and a gf because I would not ever give up .
>I was shit in highschool but I never gave up
>I had no dreams but my friends and people I just met lifted me up and showed me what more I can be.
Now I'm in college and I feel so out of place all my friends are people who never have done wrong and I always felt I was evil or bad to some extent. But I don't want to fall back into being a shit person I don't want to let this chance go. How can I become a really good person?
I feel like I had the attitude at one point but after so many rejections and failures it's lost on me. I want to be a good person because I want to keep these new friends I don't want to lose anyone anymore. There is this one girl I've crushed on so hard but I am not handsome or strong or cool I am just honest and direct. She told me that she likes people with a good heart and would never reject someone if they had a good heart and honestly like her. But I don't feel like I have that I feel like I'm a decaying corpse walking around and for a long time thats how I lived not caring what happened the next day. I want a good future where my family is no longer supported by a system that I consider wrong I want a future where a pure good hearted girl is my wife I want a future where I kept all my friends and they love me like I love them.
How do I become a good person and build that? I'm tired of living like a shadow I don't want to be this person who carries that darkness around anymore.
>>16490234
You are on the right path, and I'm sure be the guy you want to be soon as you keep trying, if you aren't there already.
It's really easy to be a nice person, care for others through empathy and sympathy and understanding, offer help, communicate. It grows by itself once you give in to it. To me, it seems like you already know this and you are a good person at your core but your notion of you being a "bad person" and your conceived outer appearance is holding you back. You wish of noble and pure things, there's no reason for you to think of yourself negatively, you are already a good person.
Drop the unfounded thoughts of you being a bad person, drop the negativity and follow your heart. Understand that human beings in general are made of love and only wish to be loved in return, simple as that. Also that girl you liked, she told you that for a reason.
>>16490291
*you'll be the guy-
Well, I'm done for the day.
I'll reply back to posts after this tommorow if there are any.
Okay I had to email this to myself since my browser hates me
What's wrong with me? For the last two years, not a single thing has gone right with any girl I've talked to. It seems like with half the girls I talk to, they just lead me along until they decide to fall back or until I cut them off because I don't want to be strung on anymore. I can barely stomach the idea of texting a girl nowadays.
The other half only seem to like me for the moment, and even then it feels like I'm being used. For example, two girls I've talked to in the last few months either weren't interesting in dating/hooking up, but were more interested in using my "friendship" for benefits like weed or whatever. And I don't know what to do other than not talk to any girls because it doesn't seem to be working out.
>>16490311
>>16490291
Thanks a lot Anon.
>>16489917
Thanks for the reply! I'm mostly talking about the fact that I can't drive. Would that be a deal breaker for girls in college?
Is it wrong to ask about a girl's history? I want to know if the girl I'm dating acts from experience or is guessing as much as I am, but it seems very inappropriate to ask.
>>16490540
Not at all it's very common to ask someone you are interested in.
