would it be weird to tell a guy I love him when I genuinely do but I'm also interested in someone else? would I be tricking him even though he knows i have interest in someone else? can i be in love with two people at once?
Sounds like a pretty fast way to lose a friend, OP.
At least, I assume he's your friend.
Shitty thing to do imo
This is a classic "can I have my cake and eat it too."
Yes it's possible to be attracted to two separate people, and to love both of them. HOWEVER, no it is not always possible to HAVE both of them. You may want to consider your priorities. Don't go fuck some other person just because you find them attractive for a moment while you leave the person you're "in love" with behind.
For example. I'm not really attracted to my girlfriend anymore however, I love her personality and she makes me laugh. She makes me happy. So I have a little bit of discipline and only sleep with her.
just control yourself. If you're in a phase of your life where you want to sleep with other people then don't get into a relationship, even if you "love them". Go fuck other people, and maybe you'll get lucky and they will still want you. Life is fickle like that. Don't want to lose that chance, then don't go around fucking other people. That easy.
It's only deceptive because most of us have been raised to think monogamy is the 'right' thing
People are meant to be polygamists, we are animals after all.
I wouldn't hold it against you but he will.
Also something makes us feel entitled, but I can't guess his interpretation of love
I'll give a bit more background, hear me out
>in love with online friend
>he's set to come back in a year, can't come back to the country due to his schedule
>we both love each other
>he says it doesn't stop us from becoming interested in other people since we aren't actually dating (we refuse to date until we actually meet irl)
>he is fully aware i'm interested in someone i know in person
>he said to me once, "what can I do to replace him?"
>we still send each other hearts and shit and we both openly say that we love each other
>he tells me he appreciates me every day
Am I doing something wrong? It's not like I'm hiding anything from him at all. And when I tell him I love him I'm not lying.
>>16488858
leave the guy alone, really selfish of you
>>16488907
also, there was this one time where I went to the movies with the guy i was interested in. I was texting online guy while I waited for irl guy to come and he was aware of this. Told online guy he arrived and that I had to go, he said
>okay, have a good time :) talk to you later
bump since i'm going to bed soon
>>16488907
You sound pretty young and inexperienced if you're saying you're able to fall in love with someone you've never actually met.
Doubly so if you can say that you're in love with two people at once. Sounds more like you just have an infatuation.
I say this all having known a couple that moved thousands of miles to be together after meeting online, being old enough have actually been in love, and having been young and infatuated enough to the point I thought I was (and some part of me still thinks I was).
Howdy!
I've been one of the unfortunate males in one of these situations. Call me a kuck (might have earned the shit), but I strongly believe that homegirl genuinely loved two people. One being me.
Took around 5 years to really be able to be around her as a friend, and have a conversation with her. Even now, it sure ain't the same. Luckily, I've got no desire to relive the past, and no desire for her. Took me years, as I said, though!
No hard feelings towards the other male. Actually, he's a good friend of mine even still. Never had real conflict over it. I strongly feel as though this girl would've been far "better off" with me; this is irrelevant.
Anyway, I've got no triumphant advice. Just the lil' anecdote.
(just read OP's other post and the situations are wildly different...solely internet-based relationships are a different beast. pretty fucking shitty beast too)
>>16488991
I'm 99.9% sure I'm infatuated with both of them. Yes, I'm 19. I'm fully aware that I'm infatuated. I'm not going to stop pursuing my romantic interests because of this though.
>>16489007
This might sound rude, but i think you just love the attention they give to you
>>16489067
>This might sound rude, but i think you just love the attention they give to you
y pretty much this
>>16488858
You dont love him if you get interested in someone else you dumb whore
be honest and tell him you have feelings for another is what you should do
>>16488858
>would it be weird to tell a guy I love him
It should be, because you don't love him, you love yourself.
Ask him if he wants you to give up the other guy. If he says yes and you do it, then you love him.
>>16489067
I don't get as much attention from him as you think. I don't talk to the irl guy on a daily basis or anything either.
>>16489487
he knows
>>16489007
>infatuated =/= love
: - )
