I am 21 years old, and live with my parents. Sad, I know, but I am going to university and am on my way to becoming a highschool teacher in two years. My problem is, that my parents are very controlling, mostly my mother. She constantly gets on my ass about grades if they go to a B. Think asian standards, but white. She scares me almost every other day with threats of forcing me out of the house, searching my things to catch me doing things, even going to the point that if I want to do something, she makes it seem like its a waste of her time and not mine. She has even gone to the point to instill in me a fear that everyone is out to get me, and to trust no one, because they are out for themselves. What can I do to tell my mother mostly, that I need to be treated like a man, and not like a child. Will give more information if responded too.
I suppose you don't have any options on moving out?
>>16488084
Nope. They know this fact. Saying that if I left, I would lose a check I normally get, and in this way, I can't leave. So I am trapped until they essentialy die.
I was abused by my parents, and all I have to say to you is just suck it up and get over it. Abandon hope of her behavior ever changing. It won't. Learn to control your own emotions so you don't get riled.
Honestly I'm in your situation at 23 after losing a very good prospect of a job right before I was to move out. They aren't charging me rent while I have no job and being on their medical really helps since I have a chronic illness.
Either learn to be able to keep good secrets and/or find some healthy stress relief. People like your family will never respect you until you move out and take charge of your life.
Make sure to analyze everything they do and evaluate whether they in the right. If you get to complacent you'll unwittingly become like it.
>>16488075
It's not sad to live with your parents at 21 when you're at uni. How else are you going to save money. I would also say it's a great way to keep your sanity from getting trampled by outside aholes, but looks like your ma is already the biggest ahole of all. Tell her to step the fuck off.
>>16488119
Well for one thing, I'm trying to avoid being that guy. The one who stays at his parents house for years, mooching off them and doing nothing to help. I help my parents quite often, even my dad who just got over a recent cancer scare. I am just worried mostly, I will end up as "that guy". You know the one i mean. And sometimes, I feel like even though they truly care, they failed in a previous child rearing, their daughter, who went bad, did bad shit, and had me. ((My parents in this case are my grandmother and grandfather who adopted me.)) I feel like they are so fucking hard on me all the time because they failed once and are trying to not fail again, and it makes me mad. Why? You fucked up before. Am I your second test case now?
>>16488152
That gets me kicked out ya dingus. And they know if I leave the house, I'm fucked six ways from sunday. They know for a fucking fact that if I leave at this point, my life is ruined, and that is what they hold over me. My aunt and uncle have told me that if my parents pass before they do, I can live with them. And they said they would treat me like a man, rather than a man child like my parents do. A man child is what I don't want to be. I don't want to be Chris-chan.
>>16488156
>Am I your second test case now?
Trying not fuck up again is not bad thing. Oddly enough parenting is one of the few subjects people absolutely refuse to study at all, not even introspective self study. It just pop out a kid, fuck up their brains a bit, then try something else on the next one.
You do help and you do realize that they are helping you out. You know you can't just outright tell them to sod off. You're playing all your cards right, just not drinking the same cool-aid. Most people either leave with their life a mess or become their caretakers. Take it in stride dude, you'll come out in a better situation.
>>16488190
I'm just really scared is all. What if I end up becoming like Chris Chan? That's what scares me the most! Isolated, alone, plays videogames a lot, but does work and manages a somewhat stable life. How do I not become Chris Chan while keeping my mind on the end game?
>>16488241
Well the fact that you hate living with your family should be plenty of drive. Channel that frustration into making sure you get out that house.
