I have a really hard time talking directly about anything sexual. Usually I'll just replace words like dick/vagina/breasts with "y'know" or a gesture. I struggle with this both in general sexual conversations and in more intimate settings. I've got a hell of a hard time talking dirty in bed or asking for whatever I like directly, although I don't have any trouble saying I like something, and very little trouble asking about what my partner likes.
I'm not anxious about sounding stupid or otherwise embarrassing myself, and I know what kinds of things I want to say and how I want to word them. It's just something that feels inappropriate to me and I can't force the words out of my mouth. I imagine it's partly because I grew up in a house where sex and bodily functions weren't something you talked about and curse words - both sexual and not - were off limits for me to say, and even now as an adult I've gotten lectured by family for saying them casually despite the fact that they're all fine with other members of the family and themselves cursing.
This is frustrating and detrimental to my relationship and I want to change it. But most of the advice online is for people who're insecure about talking dirty or who don't know what to say. For me, it's more that I'm just overly conservative in what I feel is appropriate. How do I work past this?
Just force yourself until it comes naturally, I guess? Doesn't really seem like that big of a deal, though. Everybody acts like their parents to some degree, you could've ended up with habits a lot worse than shyness over "dirty words." More of a funny quirk than a dealbreaker.
If you really want to change, I guess you just need to force yourself until it starts to be natural.
>>16488029
It's detrimental to my relationship though. I can't ask for what I want in bed or talk about what I want or how best to satisfy me. And I can't talk dirty even though both me and my boyfriend want me to. I have tried forcing myself and most of the time I full on can't make the words come out of my mouth. That's not a quirk, it's a character flaw.
>>16488047
I dunno. I guess you could just practice. Like, literally just practice saying the words out loud when you're alone, like a crazy person, until you can get past the mental block.
Classical conditioning. I knew that feel. Try FSA on /soc/.
>>16488121
She said
>my boyfriend
two posts above.
>>16488121
I mean in theory that's not a bad idea for getting over my inability to talk about it, but even if I wasn't in a monogamous relationship I wouldn't really want to whore myself out on 4chan.
I'm in the same boat op... Every word sounds inaproppriate to me. To childish, to dirty, to medical,... There's just no word i feel comfortable with. This is rrally annoying.
Maybe the problem is that you try too hard to be serious about it. Sex doesn't have to be serious. Substitute the anatomical parts with silly words. Ask your boyfriend to rub his cock rocket on your béyoncé's lips until you ride the hogwarts express.
>>16488188
Ugh. That sounds really weird to me. I can see what you mean, and you might be on the right track. It's just that sometimes i don't want silly or dirty sex and for that i need some mature and neutral words.
>>16488140
That she did.
>>16488148
Worked for me. If you or your bf wouldn't be comfortable with you recording and posting, don't post. Do the rest and then just skip that last step. Point is to get yourself used to saying the words, and perhaps more importantly used to hearing yourself saying such things, right? Well that'll do it. Not like you've anything to lose by trying.
>>16488204
Cock and tits are good for dick and breasts. Vagina kinda doesn't have any "neutral" terms. I've grown partial to cunt actually, because cunt. /shrug
listen to the SAVAGE LOVE podcasst by Dan Savage on the free stitcher app. hes amazing and constantly talks about this. the app has like 500 episodes plus hes hilarious and he really makes you think!
If it is really affecting you, going to counseling about it is always an option.
