hey /adv/
i have a question that might seem trivial to some of you, but it's actually bothering me quite a bit.
so, my girlfriend and i live together. we're breaking up. she's moving out, and i'm staying in the apartment we rented together. that's whatever. its upsetting but i know how to handle it.
the problem is pic related. i have a cat, and she really wanted another cat, so i got her one last Christmas. (with her permission, it was all planned, etc. i didn't just surprise her, she went to the shelter and picked it out herself). the pic looks exactly like him. she loves him. i'm sure she'd take him with her if she could, but she's moving back to her parents' place, and her dad's allergic to cats.
So here's my problem. i really do not mesh well with this cat. don't get me wrong, i don't mind cats. i have a cat of my own. (its a bombay, or at least looks like it. think salem from sabrina). but my cat and i have similar personalities; we leave one another alone most of the time.
my girlfriend's cat, however, constantly needs attention. he meows obnoxiously loud whenever you're not paying attention to him. and he attacks my cat. i'm not sure if he's trying to play or what, and i've been trying to discourage it with a squirt bottle. it's gotten better, but i dunno.
my question is this, what should i do with this cat? would i be a terrible person if i took him back to the shelter? the shelter is a "no kill" shelter and said they're take him back (girlfriend called them to ask). should i try to find another home for him? should i just suck it up and let him stay here?
i feel like an asshole for even thinking about taking him back, but i really don't mesh too well with his personality. not even to mention that he torments my cat.
TL;DR girlfriend is moving out, wat do with her cat?
thanks for your time.
You would be a very shitty person to take the cat to the shelter simply because you dislike his or her character
Why not give it away to someone new?
Then it's their problem.
>>16486045
i kind of figured. just needed some reassurance that I'm doing the right thing i guess. I'm leaning towards keeping him, out of pity more so than anything. is it fair to my cat though? she literally sleeps on the fridge half of the time because she's afraid of him. but right now she's laying on the floor next to me and he's asleep on the couch. i dunno.
>>16486047
i was thinking of doing that, but how do i know it's a good home? one of my co-workers was possibly interested. i don't want him going somewhere where he's in danger of being abused. i don't like his personality, but it's still a living creature. i don't want it to suffer simply because it's more convenient for me.
>>16486071
Your cat will most likely get used to the other cat with time, I had an old cat lady who was with me for 8 years, then brought home young stray and at first he was always trying to attack her and whatnot, but now after 2 years they sleep together in one basket. You can always read on cats and try to teach the rude one to act better. Shelters are shitty, and for an animal which were taken home to be returned to shelter, it's not a nice feeling
Keep it for a year. Your ex might move out or her dad could die, then she can take it. If at the end of the year your cat still doesn't mesh with it, find it a new home.
Pic related. My cat has lived with 6 other cats (not including her mother and 5 siblings). She only meshed with 3 of them, but it took them forever (3-9 months) to find peace between one another. She's a lot like your cat. We sleep together and I pet her once in the morning then we part ways until bed time unless she needs more food or water.
>>16486079
Males and males, and males and females tend to get along. Mixing multiple generation females is generally a bad idea, but it can work out in some cases.
>>16486089
I just love cats, want to hug them all. Hug your cat for me
>>16486079
yeah i guess it'll just take more work on my part. maybe eventually he'll get "attention" from my cat and be less needy. once they start getting along, i mean. i know it sounds like an excuse on my part, but i work a decent amount (usually 50 or so hours a week), and i'm an engineering student. so i don't really have a lot of "spare time" to give attention to him. maybe that's just me making excuses though. i know that taking him back would be a bad experience for him, but i thought maybe it was the best option available (again, maybe just me making excuses).
>>16486089
she's adorable. looks kind of like mine too. i sleep with my bedroom door closed, I've never let either cat in it, do you think that if i start letting them sleep in there maybe he'll stop being so needy? (also is that in a big rig? if so, that's awesome.)
>>16486089
>>16486096
ah shit, i just saw your trip. answered my own question.
>>16486117
I had 2 cats who always got on great, one got killed by a car. Eventually we got a new cat. He just would not get on with my remaining cat, and we returned him to the shelter, they were both miserable at my house. We have really nice shelters here where they live in peoples houses rather than in pens and are not killed, and I know he was adopted soon after as he was a sweet cat bar the issue with my cat. Later we tried again with another shelter cat and it got on great with my remaining cat - basically, some cats just don't get on.
If the shelter is a good one and you know he will be safe and loved I think it is OK to return him - I think keeping him and letting him get more and more attached to you and then returning him would be more mean, particularly if he is an affectionate type of cat.
But I think the best option is to adopt him out to friends - look for someone you know who is a nice person who is looking for an affectionate new kitty. Someone you know will take good care of him and appreciate him for what he is?
OP if you live in California I was planning to rescue a cat soon anyway
>>16486305
Maryland, sorry. wish i could. he's a great little guy. just needs a lot of attention.
>>16486040
issues with your pussy huh?
sounds like the magellian (pic) easy way to tell is have a big M in their fur on their heads. (thanks animal planet) i am a cart guy. it sounds like your GF cat wants to be top of the heap and is fighting you for attention. do you even play with him or give him any attention at all?
all cats love attention, and you are just giving him the get lost with the water bottle. you need to learn to give him some one on one time with you too not just your other cat.
>>16486040
>constantly needs attention. he meows obnoxiously loud whenever you're not paying attention to him. and he attacks my cat
These are reasons to turn him over to the no kill shelter in your area. You can also donate some food, time, money, or whatever to help ease the burden of looking for a new home for the cat, but the shelter has more resources and ability to place the cat in a good home than you do. You both could live better lives, and the cat can be happier in a better placement. Sometimes cats just don't get along and that is a very legitimate reason to return it so it can be placed in a home that fits the cat better.
>>16486379
i think you might be right, i could probably be doing more to make him feel like he's getting enough attention. just gotta find time...
>>16486478
my problem with 'no kill" shelters is that don't the sometimes "trade" cats with kill shelters so that the "blood is off their hands" so to speak? it's a technicality that they're "no kill" shelters so I've heard. it just means that they don't kill them there. i don't like this cat, but i don't want that for him.
>>16486348
well good luck all the same!
(post on facebook saying he needs a new home maybe?)
>>16486536
i haven't had a facebook for about a year because i'm a paranoid asshole. maybe this is a good enough reason to reactivate it though.
