Hi /adv/
When I was living back home, I had a group of friends I was very close with for years. Then gradually, they stopped inviting me out with them, and any time I'd invite them to something they'd say they're busy with work or school. After seeing pictures of them doing fun things without me on facebook a bit too much, I assumed they just didn't want me around any more, and it was time for me to make some new friends.
About a year after this I moved 8 hours away for college, and a few weeks in I already had a new group of friends. I was getting invites to go out again, and I had people to invite things to again. All was good. Then about a month later, the same thing happened. I see them on facebook all of the time doing fun things without me without inviting me. Any time I invite them to something, they're busy. It hurt especially when I saw a photo of them all having a big early thanksgiving dinner without me.
>maybe you're a douche or annoying
I'm not a douche, I've always been kind to my friends and anyone else around us.
I do talk a lot, but I don't think I'm quite annoying enough for this to happen twice.
>maybe you come on too strong
I hardly ever talk to them over social media, text, etc. I also stopped inviting them to things once I noticed they weren't saying yes to anything. If I see them around school I'll say hi, but I keep it brief.
>maybe you're boring
I've made them laugh quite a bit in the past.
>maybe you're over thinking it
I know I am. But for something like a thanksgiving dinner with friends, I know my name had to have come up at some point when they were inviting each other.
Is it time to move on again? I really enjoyed this group of people, and I know I'm going to miss them when the semester is over, regardless of how much they'll miss me.
>>16485985
Move on and start having fun for yourself with new people. When your old friends see how much fun you are having they will crawl back. Then give them the middle finger for fucking you around and carry on with the new people happily.
>>16485985
Maybe you're creepy or awkward, do you have any anxiety or lack confidence maybe?
>>16485993
I pretty much did this the first time, and they haven't come crawling back quite yet. I like the suggestion though
>>16486381
I'm really not though. I used to be, and people had different reactions than this
>>16485985
It's pretty much one of the things you listed. Another possibility is that you are the same as them, but unhappy with yourself, which they perceive as being judgemental.
Likely just one of the things you listed though.
>>16486626
man stop posting your advice is as shitty as you are as a person
>>16486626
>It's pretty much one of the things you listed
which one?
>>16486690
I would need to know you, or have you post a detailed summary of yourself, your life, and your picture to tell you. I have no idea from your brief "people start avoiding me" summary, I just know it's one.
>>16486682
I would love to hear something better. Go for it.
>>16486705
>I would need to know you, or have you post a detailed summary of yourself, your life, and your picture to tell you
Thanks but no thanks.
>>16486760
I figured, but you understand why no one can tell you which one it is without that. Basically, for yourself, go down a list of shit that makes you different from them, if anything.
Try asking a couple of them out for a smoke/beer/vidya/whatever you guys do and gauge their reaction. It could be that they just dont feel you are as close to them as they are with each other, so they dont feel as comfortable with adding you as a new friend to their intimate group just yet.
>>16486839
I like this suggestion.
I'm actually tempted to outright ask one of them why they don't invite me to things anymore. Not as any kind of appeal to pity, but more as a way to avoid doing the wrong thing in the future.
>>16486906
Dont be agressive, it will not help your cause. Im assuming thanksgiving hasnt passed yet so just ask them what theyre doing on that day. Shoving yourself in isnt a good idea either. Just be cool and friendly, if they really dont want you around, which im sure isnt the case, you'll know
>>16486921
I'm not really an aggressive guy so that isn't an issue.
>Shoving yourself in isnt a good idea either
This I know, yet I feel like I've done it in the past just a bit. Although they seemed happy to have me around back then.
I won't be around during thanksgiving to ask them anything, but I'm thinking afterwards I'll do it then.
