Online Love
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Do you think someone who looks exclusively for love online is doomed to either be alone forever, or stuck with a crazy, fat, or otherwise screwed up person, regardless of the tiny amount of success?
My best friend only looks for online love and puts a lot of emphasis on it. I always tell him that if he wants better quality women, he'll have to take a yoga class or something, or obtain a hobby where he can do something he likes to do, without exclusively looking for the opposite sex. He refuses, and continues to look online. What advice can I give him? Personally, I stopped looking online. There's just nowhere I can go to obtain a hobby to give him an example, though.
Church maybe? I'm not religious though.
I pretty much told him that if you don't meet tons of people in college or high school, or any other point in your life where you're around tons of women.... your chances of finding a really good woman are cut by more than half.
If he is unwilling to look outside of online, that is his choice and it's going to be hard to convince him otherwise.
Sorry OP. He is locked in until he comes to you for help on the issue.
Why is he so insistent on looking online? Does he think it's better, or is he just too afraid to meet people?
>>16485800
How do you look for women? Or, how do you put yourself in a position where they have to communicate with you?
>love online
Love is a feeling you develop toward a deeply ingrained element of your life. You can meet such a person online but the love develops in your reality, not your fantasy/expectations. It also can't be so minuscule as "someone I type to."
I don't think someone whose understanding of love includes the phrase "online love" is likely to find any sort of love anywhere, to be frank.
>>16485806
He's afraid to meet people. Unwilling to undergo the true difficulty of walking up to cute women he finds to be really attractive at a mall or even walking a dog down the street. The bar scene is a no go; really pretty women he won't even speak to. He'll just call some fat ugly girl that he knew ins his previous life to meet him at the bar to make him feel comfortable.
>>16485813
That's pretty powerful. However, is your own reality your own fantasy? Especially if the other person doesn't really know what's going on in your head?
>>16485794
Maybe he's looking for someone with special relationship conditions?
I'm a nonreligious, childfree (don't want to have kids) guy living in the bible belt so the chances of me meeting someone who fits that criteria are astronomically low. With online dating, you can put all that shit on the table right off the bat so there's no guessing games.
Most people begin talking to someone online based on their visuals alone. That's the first problem. Someone might be able to type a novel to you and convince your interest; however, what if they smell like shit and don't brush their teeth? The latter is something you'd be able to find out in person and, for example, if you would have bumped into her at a mall or outing, prior to even beginning a conversation with her in the first place, you would have known this and your expectations would have been no where as high as they were if you would have been chatting with this person online.
I believe, when you're exclusively looking for something, especially when it comes to relationships/love, it is, nevertheless, in laymen terms, "forcing fate." Keep this in mind, vs. you studying with a girl in college that you fancy. You guys make jokes, she laughs at them, you're able to smell her sweet breath and flowery body ordor from a distance... so at least you know exactly what you're getting and what you like, really like, is legit, again, vs. someone online that you really don't know nothing about.
Happening naturally > forcing fate. Who agrees?
>>16485829
>dating, you can put all that shit on the table right off the bat so there's no guessing games.
But the quality of the women you're putting all that on the table to, by stats, are going to be pretty crappy vs. the women you go to church with.
Also, picture attached, I've showed him this picture and he agreed that it's something he's totally go for.
>>16485868
You won't find that shit online tho. She looks like she smells really good, has a good family, and wipes her ass properly LOL.
>>16485868
are you implying that you can only find decent women in church? because that's a laughable premise at best.
OP, I'm kinda torn on this.
I'm a single guy well out of college. Things happen less "naturally" for people outside of college, because work and other things get in the way. Plus, people are too caught up in their routines, or don't want to be bothered at a bar or something. In addition, you have no fucking clue what someone is into when you approach them at random based off of looks. Sure, you can quickly get to the personal interaction part, but I find that a lot of times people are just introducing their "representative." In the first night that I meet a girl, I'm not going to tell her I really like comic books, and I don't expect her to lay out everything we might have in common.
Online has benefits and pitfalls too... I know what a girl likes, I know she's actually INTERESTED in dating (that's a big deal, plenty of people just want casual things), I have an idea of if she wants kids or whatever... I can jump a lot of the screening process.
Now, online dating also sucks because most of the girls there are there because there's something wrong with them all in all. They're either fat, ugly, crazy, whatever. But if you're savvy enough to filter out the crap, you can find someone good.
Let your friend do his thing. No sense in forcing a hobby or church just to get him a girl.
