I can't live like this
I can't live like this
Im trying to stay ahead of the game but the game is too far away. I can't take it anymore. Enough is enough. I can't live in this isolation, in this contamination.
Everyday in the morning and at random, I get these angry and sad filled thoughts on how I want to go back to when things were normal. When I was innocent. The monster inside me has grown this big. I feel permanent damage is coming from this isolation. Me without contact with anybody. Why do I have so much love them? And it's not even them, it's one person. Why do I have this much love for one person? I don't even want to date her, I just want her to be my friend. But I had to mess it up because I wasn't thinking straight. Blocks me from all sort of social media. If I send her a letter I probably will get a restraining order.
Am I always going to make bad decisions? Will I never learn? I really do think professional help is in order.
>>16482980
>I really do think professional help is in order.
I agree.
Start by purging your mementos of her. Everything must go, physical or electronic. Giving things back does not seem to be an option, so donate, sell, or just throw away. This includes ALL pictures. Yes, even those. I normally tell people to put things they can't part with in a box, and then put the box somewhere safe but out of sight, but I think you may need to be more ruthless with yourself than that. Everything must go.
The goal of this isn't to forget her. That never works anyway. The goal is to transform your environment into a place where it is possible, and permissible, to think about things that are not her. The constant presence she has in your life is not accomplishing anything, except to reopen the wounds and keep the pain fresh.
The next step is to flood your brain with new information. Everyone has a backlog of things they think would be neat to learn, but never got around to learning. It's time to shrink your backlog a bit. Don't try anything purely artistic -that'll backfire- but anything else will do.
>>16482980
stop being a creeper and pestering the girl, get some girl
why some guys are so damn pathetic
>>16483022
I just want to be friends with her again. Or really anybody to be my friend. But I need friends to make friends. But I'm just a loser. Who wants to be friends with a loser? I befriended this qt asian girl but she is increasing distance from me. Probably because she knows I have no friends
I just want to hug somebody. I want a little of gentle physical interaction.
Learning a new hobby is OK. But when I do those hobbies I still think of her.
>>16483031
OP here.
I guess some guys are a bit emotional then others. Not every guy can be a Chad.
>>16483041
Man, you have to stop being so sappy. People don't like guys who whinge and moam like little kids. You need to toughen up a bit.
>>16483048
How am I supposed to hide the truth? Who the hell wants to be friends with a loser. Tell me. Other losers?
Plus, I'm only good with making friends with girls. I haven't talk to a guy my age in months.
>>16483068
It's not about hiding the truth, it's about evolving as a person and go from a pathetic loser crybaby to less overly dramatic, needy man. Do you have anoything going on in your life or do you just wallow in self pity?
>>16483068
Op are you me? Although I havent gotten blocked, just haven't seen her in 3 days. We usually meet up when taking the bus home because she works near where I work. I was too chicken to ask for number earlier. But now when I have built up some confidence to ask, I don't see her. I feel like dying. I have no other friends really (acquaintances really, who never text me, but are ok to talk to when I initiate), and no one really cares about me other than my family and I guess co workers to an extent. Without my family I would have probably offed myself years ago. I just feel so empty. Just like you said, I just wish someone would hold me. Feel physical contact. Ugh....
>>16483096
I feel you senpai.
>>16483078
How do I improve?
Give me detailed steps or infomation.
