>one good thing

Dropped out of college

>bad thing

Because of dropping out I owe $2,500

>>16482577
Would you be willing to explain why you perceive dropping out as a good thing? Do you have alternative plans now?

Interesting idea.
What do you mean by good and bad though? By 'good' do you mean something which is healthy and productive for yourself, like exercise, getting a job, etc., or do you mean something 'good' in the sense that it helps other people in a self-less way? Or both?

I mean..I managed to schedule an interview for a job I really want this week. That was good. I bought really nice Christmas gifts and such for my family. That's also "good". Bad is that I failed a test recently (I'm a student) and I'm hoarding a lot of the cash my parents sent me for food by not eating well so I can save it for other things, mainly for my fiancee, when I DO get that job I want. Both of those are pretty bad I guess.

>>16482584

Because college was unhealthy for me. It put me into a really bad depression. And as far as alternate plans I don't really know. I just work doing Armed Security right now, it's good pay but not a career. Nothing in general really interests me other than shooting, but there isn't many options there. I already did 5 years in the military, and doing Secuirty now. Don't know what else I could do

>>16482587
I would consider 'good' and 'bad' to be subjective so I'm interested in whatever the poster perceives them as. Whether that's in a selfish or altruistic fashion doesn't matter to me much either, I think that's also a matter of the poster's perspective.

Out of curiosity - would any of the 'bad' or 'good' things change if you weren't with your fiancee?

>>16482592
What about shooting do you like? How did you get into it?

>>16482602

I got into it from being in the military. I guess I like shooting because it reminds me of a better time for me I guess. It's a skill I don't want to lose. I'd rather go shooting than have sex any day.

>>16482606
What was that better time? What made it better?

Do you like it purely for nostalgia, or do you find there is an aspect of power to it?

Do you think it interests you because you feel unable to have total control over certain parts of your life?

Just curious, not trying to imply anything.

>One good thing

Nothing I'm worthless and deserve everything bad that happens to me for the choices I've taken recently.

>One bad thing you've done:
Well here's a bunch:

Stopped going to the gym.
Failed my driving test.
Staying indoors all day playing games
Eating like shit
Not always thinking of others over myself
Spent money on a girl last year who turned out to not give a shit about me, more money that I ever spent on the people who actually do. Which is what I aim to change this year by getting them all really good gifts for christmas.

I am going to fix myself.

>>16482618
Do you want to better yourself because you think these are things that people expect of you, or are these things you want on your own?

>>16482595
Good question.
My grades would not. I'm trying my best and I'm working very hard for my grades. The test failing is because, well, high level math is hard and the curve at this university is very high.

The good things like buying christmas gifts for my family would not change either.

Now, with regards to the job, I am somewhat getting a jump on my life by shooting for this job, trying to get all the certifications, etc (it's an actuary job) when it may not be the most exciting or fulfilling job. But I'm happy to do that, because it pays well and I want to have a happy family with my future wife and travel on our vacations, etc., and I'd be lying if I didn't find actuary work fascinating, so I do like it. I also don't want to go to graduate school anymore for mathematics (I'm tired of this, I want to work on real projects and get paid to do it) so even though my dream job was to be a professor, I am happy with the job.

The hoarding money from my parents..to some extent it would change, yes. I wouldn't be so stingy about spending, and I might be a little happier. Ultimately, saving money is good for me, so it would help me too in the long run. But this policy I have now of spending not a cent more than absolutely necessary (I won't even take the subway anymore, just walk for hours if I need to get somewhere to save $2) is a bit excessive. That would change. But I keep telling myself that as soon as I finish my degree and get this nice actuary job and we do the wedding all already planned out in detail for next year, it'll all be worth it and I'll be happy about it.

>>16482616

2 years out of the 5 was definitely my peak. Shooting does bring back memories. But I don't know exactly where you are getting at with "power" though.

>>16482623
That's a very good question.

I feel worthless right now because I'm not doing any of those things. I feel like I failure because I didn't pass the driving, I feel like a skinny weak half man now that I'm not training. I've just been hiding away playing video games again because I stopped believing that I could ever fit in.

But I keep thinking about what my dad would think if he saw me now and how disappointing he would be. I keep thinking what my son or daughter would say if I ever had one and they could see me now like this. And then the big one. I keep thinking about what my future self would be thinking if he saw me now he'd be saying (so this is where it all went wrong huh)

I'm not going to let that happen.

>>16482571
>Good thing
Helped a co worker out with an early morning tech support issue even though I didn't have to.
>Bad thing
Got a hand job from a stripper and liked it/her. Might go back again soon for another one.

>>16482624
Does anyone have a response to this maybe?

>>16482743
Do you think you're having second thoughts about how 'worth it' it is?

I feel like you would like to hear someone tell you to focus on you, now. Am I wrong?

>>16482761
That's kind of what I'm expecting I guess. I don't know. Am I wrong to be so focused on this? Some people say I'm wrong and others say what I'm doing is impressive (I'm working really hard to save all the money I make for my fiancee and I so that as soon as she's back from being LDR, we will have enough money to survive and pay for her insurance, her cell phone bill, her food, etc., until she either finds a job or I graduate and get that dream job).
Basically the whole situation "should" work, but everyone I tell it to says I'm living in a kind of fantasy land where everything works out, because while everything "should" work, it's definitely a risky situation to take on a dependent while still a student, even if my funds are, mathematically, just enough to pay her insurance until a month after a graduate, by which time I should be able to find some job, right?
I want to know if I'm being delusional and am in way over my head, or if this plan could work. People underestimate how hard I'm willing to work I think and that's why they say my plan will fail, but I don't know. Maybe I'm being naive.

In reality, I am pretty confident it's gonna be worth it, yeah. I'm determined to "make it worth it" so to speak by doing everything that I can. I guess that means I don't have a problem, so maybe I'm not in the right place.

I think I just wanted to hear other's candid opinions about my situation.

>>16482571
>Good thing
gave a dumb bitch with summer tires a push when she was spinning out on a tiny ass hill yesterday

>Bad thing
;) fapping to dick girls ;)

>>16482680
Follow up to this: I go to strip clubs 3 to 4 times a month. The girls know me and actively seek me out. They say they "do things with me that they don't do with other people". How shitty of a person am I? Should I be having this huge feeling of self loathing? How can I break this addiction yet still get this much attention from attractive women? I'm so torn.

>>16482829

I wish strippers would give me handjobs

>>16482840
Be nice to them, respect their bodies, and tip well. It's just like sky relationship: you have to establish trust first.

There's a strip club I was a regular at, and there was a young, 22 year old Mila Kunis look-alike. I always got dances from her and private shows. And we'd talk and she was cool. I left for a year and a half and came back, and she still remembered me. She never did anything special for me. I was the same age as her, and not a fat neckbeard.

>>16482777
From a personal perspective I think people should do what they want, regardless of others around them.

The idea of something being 'wrong' vs 'impressive' is entirely perspective.

But, let's assume you continue as you have with your fiancee in mind. Then things don't work out, not funds or work but your relationship. You saved and penny pinched and bought her all these things. She leaves you.

Was it still worth it?

What if she's forever dependant on you and never lifts a finger? Do you think you won't come to resent her for not giving equally? It would be human to feel that way.

There are many possibilities that you will have no control over. That no matter how hard you work, won't work.

I like you, though, Anon. I like your desire to force your will, naive or not. But I don't think deciding not to go through with this plan would be a negative thing. You have much more time to do things, don't you?

Is there a reason for the rush? That you seem to have this obligation to take on your fiancee as a dependent?

>>16482863
I'm a fat neckbeard and I get "extras" all the time. Maybe I'm not that bad of a guy but my rock bottom self confidence due to being fat has crippled me from approaching attractive women..

>>16482890
Ok, to your first question. We will be married by the time I really start putting my funds in.

So if she divorces me, then no it wouldn't be worth it. But that's what marriage is about, no? As in, that's the same as any marriage, no?

With regards to growing to resent her, that's also true. I trust that she says she will work now, and if we have a family I would want her at home looking after our kids. She just went and got some tests done for fertility and to make sure she could have healthy kids, so we are really considering it in the next few years.

Yes, there is a reason for the rush. It is because although I am a student, she is about 35 and so if she wants to have a family, her time is running out. In addition, we're actually doing the fiancee visa from the US so she can come here and that visa has time limits on it (you have to get married within a certain amount of time of receiving it).
I know logistically it looks like a - I would be too young and will regret it later and b - she could be trying to take advantage of me (for citizenship, just wanting to have a child, etc.).

But I have good reason to be with her and it was me that was pushing this way. I want to get married, regardless of any of these pressures. I was the one that wanted to get married, wanted to start a family, and wanted to bring her to the US because I think the salary potential is far better here. That's why. And so, if I put in say $13,000 +Rent +Money for food to last us for my last semester in college, and then have a decent job (as an actuary) lined up for after I graduate, I could make the transition for the two of us to my new job pretty easily. She is very supportive and supports my studying and working hard. She can also contribute a few thousand dollars of her own, is committed to trying to find a part-time job when she arrives, and is a very responsible, mature person. She is also very healthy and young-looking for her age. We look the same age.

>>16482890
I want to settle down though. I've traveled a lot in my life, been with a lot of women, and I really just want to settle down with a nice job that lets me come home to my wife every day, and perhaps children as well.

So despite those reasons for rushing, I want this for myself as well.

I realize it's far-fetched and I can understand that it's naive to have this plan, but I still think for whatever reason that I'm special enough and she's worth it to pull through with it.

Ultimately, I would be doing the same thing with or without her. I'd still be studying, getting my degree, trying to get this job, etc.
So I'm not really changing anything for myself.
What's changing is that I now have a responsibility I didn't have before. But it is what I want, so I am not upset or burdened. It is my pleasure to do exactly that because I see it as the way to make a happy family and future for the both of us.

>>16482941
>>16482927
bump~

>good
I got a real adult job! A 9-5 with health insurance and amazing benefits

>bad
Just called in 3 days in a row at my shitty retail job. 2 days of puking and fever, and then my tire blew up today while I was on the interstate.