>>16480854
How much dignity and self-respect do you have? My answer depends on it.

>>16480864
Enough that I would break up should things come to it, if that's what you mean.

>>16480854
Lol move on. This guy is bored of you and already boarding the next ship from the sound of it.

>>16480854
He is either cheating on you emotionally, or both emotionally and physically simultaneously. This behaviour is not normal in any sort of monogamous relationship, no matter how much he may try to guilt trip you into believing that "they're just a friend", that they have no feelings for them, and generally making you feel like shit for raising valid concerns regarding his commitment to you if he feels the need to emotionally screw someone else.

This will not end well OP. Don't make a big deal out of it, just break up with him. That's not usually advice I (nor adv) gives often, but here it seems warranted. It is clear as day that he is having an emotional affair.

Wow, I was in the exact same situation. The only difference is that they didn't do it in the same bed we slept in. It doesn't end well and if they don't care to compromise then it's already at a close.

>>16480854
>Just try to block it from my mind or make a bigger deal out of it?
You have boundaries and he's breaking them, even after you've talked to him about it. I, personally, would not put up with something like that. It's a form of intimacy that goes way beyond friendship. He's cultivating an attachment with her when he should be doing this with you instead. He's essentially treating her like a girlfriend, minus the sex (for now).

>>16480854
Imagine you doing the same thing. I don't think he will ignore it either. I will say you will have to talk to him about it if it makes you uncomfortable.

>>16480883
>>16480889
>>16480895
>>16480897
>>16480904
Thanks for the input and I definitely agree to an extent.

I wasn't going to mention this because I feel bad about doing, but I looked at some of their skype conversations. The thing is that it seems like they both care about me. Their relationship seems so innocent to the point where wanting to stand my ground makes me a bad person.

Is it wrong of me to want them to end the friendship and never see each other again? Even if he did promise to tone it down, it's gotten to the point where I don't think I could trust him.

>>16480914
Looking at skype/text conversations out of the blue is very questionable behaviour and should make you feel bad. However, doing so when your partner is being untrustworthy regarding a specific person can be justified in my opinion.

Your boyfriend and his friend caring about you means fuck all. Sure, they might think you're nice and don't want to hurt you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that your boyfriend is still "in" love with you as opposed to simply loving you and caring about you. PS. their relationship is not fucking innocent if they are sleeping in the same bed together and/or cuddling, are you naive or have you just been guilt-tripped by your boyfriend? You are correct to not trust him, and it's not wrong of you in any way to want to never see either of them again. No matter how you dress it up, it is an emotional affair and the relationship will not survive it unless he completely cuts all contact - and even then, do you want to be with a person who could do this again and clearly has issues with fully committing to you?

I'm so sorry to have to say something as blunt as this, but your relationship is dead.

>>16480914

He's not going to change op. People don't. And people don't end friendships over lovers, or at least they don't for long. It's obvious how attached they are, and they'll find a way to get around it

just leave OP, you deserve better

>>16480914
>Is it wrong of me to want them to end the friendship and never see each other again?
It's not wrong of you to feel that way, but it would be wrong to give him that kind of controlling ultimatum. Even if he does go along with it, he will grow to resent you and use it against you in the future. It's not healthy. If he's not willing to compromise, you're better off going your separate ways. You can find someone that will make you just as happy that is willing to respect your boundaries.

>The thing is that it seems like they both care about me.
If they truly did, they would respect your boundaries. I wouldn't be surprised if the girl is pretending to be innocent while quietly egging him on. I had something similar happen to me in the past with my guy and his female friend, because she was suddenly interested. He was completely oblivious as to what was going on, but as soon as he came to the realization that what he was doing was inconsiderate, he stopped.

>Their relationship seems so innocent to the point where wanting to stand my ground makes me a bad person.
Having boundaries does not make you the bad guy. Don't let them turn this around on you, because you've done absolutely nothing wrong in this situation.

>>16480914
You just said it yourself, you can't trust him now.

Trust is the cornerstone of any lasting relationship, if you don't have it its over.

If you mattered to this person your feelings would be second to none period.

>Your boyfriend is sleeping with another girl
>Not sexual in any way

lol, and you actually believe this.

Even considering the very small possibility he's being faithful, this was not appropriate conduct in a relationship even before you had to tell him to stop. Imagine his reaction if you would just start doing the same thing with one of your close male friends!

How you say it's making you feel sick to your stomach: My people have a saying - "trust your gut". You know something is wrong with all of this. Dump his ass.

>>16480931
>>16480932
>>16480934
>>16480935
>>16480944
This helps more than you can imagine, thank you. Guilt has been the main thing holding me back when thinking about breaking up. I hinted at it recently and he got upset saying he couldn't survive without me, etc.

Given how I feel about him trust wise it does seem like breaking up really is the least painful route at this point.

I understand that you might feel like a bad person because he isn't physically cheating on you, but your bf needs to understand this isn't how you act when you're in a monogamous relationship with someone. It sucks, but you need to tell him that if he wants to be in a relationship with you he needs to stop. I know you probably don't want your relationship to end, but he shouldn't be doing things like that with another person and you should break up with him if he won't stop. My gf tried to pull stuff like this on me and I was conflicted because I would get upset with her and she'd turn it around on me like I was the bad person and I was just believing in dumb archaic ideas, but I've realized now that I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks acting like that is okay and neither should you. You deserve someone who really loves you and understands what it means to be in a relationship and your bf obviously doesn't.

>>16480952
Let us know how things turn out, OP.

>>16480952
Seriously OP you need to dump this guy, what he's doing is extremely inconsiderate and you don't deserve that at all. Jump the ship as soon as possible.

My god you're inconsiderate. He's doing something that makes him happy.
You have problem with it.
You want him to change.

Jealousy is gross, more so when its imagined.
Love is unconditional. Are you sure that you Love him?

>>16480952
Lol 'cant survive without you'

Looks like he likes attention, he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Don't fall for that bullshit OP.

>>16481007
>My god you're inconsiderate. He's doing something that makes him happy.
He's inconsiderate and he's doing something that makes her unhappy. He clearly doesn't care about how she feels.

>You have problem with it.
>You want him to change.
Most people in monogamous relationships would take issue with this. Of course she wants him to change. But as long as she isn't making ultimatums, I don't see what the issue is.

>Jealousy is gross, more so when its imagined.
Love is unconditional. Are you sure that you Love him?
Different people have different boundaries. It doesn't matter if she loves him, if he continues to make her feel like garbage by breaching said boundaries. They're not compatible.

>>16481025
>taking the bait
First week on the job?